She Just Blurted It Out

We went to a local artmovie house with some friends. I happened to be en drab (male) attire. Doesn't matter too much, I usually get "Ma'm" anyway.

As I paid for my tickets the woman in the booth suddeny said "Why do YOU have acrylic nails, SIR?"

Occasionally I get a more subtle question from a stranger, something like "Do you play guitar (or banjo)?" but never anything this direct before. I was so shocked that my usual response, "I like to keep my ears and nose clean," didn't even come to mind.

I simply said, "Because I like them!"

She then said, "Oh, rock on!"

Weird! And I think her manager was right there in the booth with her.

Hugs,
Persephone.

Wow. That was amazing! I probably never would have kept my cool with something like that.

That was pretty rude. But keeping your cool in always the right thing. You can make a scene and draw attention or you can do as you did and it is over.

Let me guess, the woman in the booth was late teens, early 20s? That's the age where curiosity is piqued easily, background knowledge is at a minimum, and inhibitions are low. She asked the question that most every stranger who sees your hands in drab mode (and they're always lovely BTW) wants to ask!

While I find the "nose and ears" response was worth a chuckle, I'm glad that you used the "because I like them" response. That one is more constructive in maintaining good public relations. You responded to her question and gave her a positive answer rather than a creepy one. She'll likely respond more nicely to the next person she sees who blurs the gender line.

"If you'd like her name.... my nail tech can fix yours up too". Lol.

"The better to scratch your eyes out, my dear!"

I had a dick at the auto parts store ask me how could I type with those nails. I ignored him andthen he did the cough thing and asked again, I said easy the same way I could change brakes or field strip an m1a.

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Originally Posted by Eryn

Let me guess, the woman in the booth was late teens, early 20s? That's the age where curiosity is piqued easily, background knowledge is at a minimum, and inhibitions are low. She asked the question that most every stranger who sees your hands in drab mode (and they're always lovely BTW) wants to ask!

While I find the "nose and ears" response was worth a chuckle, I'm glad that you used the "because I like them" response. That one is more constructive in maintaining good public relations. You responded to her question and gave her a positive answer rather than a creepy one. She'll likely respond more nicely to the next person she sees who blurs the gender line.

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Building on Eryn's response and taking her assumptions one step further, it's likely that this presumed younger girl also had one or more body piercings, tattoos, spiked, multi-colored hair and/or ripped jeans, as is typical of her age group. Young people these days seem to have no sense of proper manners or etiquette, and sometimes one has to be extraordinarily blunt with them before they "get it".

If she was accessorized as I am suggesting, you should have perhaps turned the tables on her and quizzed her on her particular fashion statements.

Then, of course, there's always the classic Ann Landers response to someone who asks an inappropriate and personal question - "Why on Earth would you ask me that?"

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Originally Posted by Leslie Langford

Young people these days seem to have no sense of proper manners or etiquette, and sometimes one has to be extraordinarily blunt with them before they "get it".

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I didn't really want to turn this into a "teens these days" thread. I was describing a normal stage in adolescent development that has always existed and always will exist. I remember making a few faux pas when I was in that age group many decades ago.

I hate having to choose between enjoying a nice manicure and going out en drab. I would love to live in a world where I could have polished nails en drab without worry about the perceptions of others. Persephone, with her reasonable response, has hastened that day.

While to us, and in general, it would be considered rude and too personal for such a situation as purchasing tickets, this girl could have been genuinely interest in why you have nails done that way. She may be struggling with justifications of her own to do the very same thing. Because of youth, not phrased worth a hoot, but we will never know if there waas a decent bone in the body peeking through. I like to hope so.

Your response was perfect, and truthful, and non-revealing. Nice.

Babes

Well. she did say: "Rock On!" I don't know what tone of voice she used. Maybe she thought it was cool?

You handled it perfectly. She was just one of those simple souls without an inner censor. And now her world has expanded just a little bit.

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Originally Posted by Leslie Langford

Building on Eryn's response and taking her assumptions one step further, it's likely that this presumed younger girl also had one or more body piercings, tattoos, spiked, multi-colored hair and/or ripped jeans, as is typical of her age group. Young people these days seem to have no sense of proper manners or etiquette, and sometimes one has to be extraordinarily blunt with them before they "get it".

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I hate it when people categorize an entire generation based on a few people. If I said everyone here had a fetish to dress up as a girl, and it was all obviously sexual, I'm more than sure people would take offense to it. I'm not saying this and I would never insult someone on here, but that's how I feel every time someone assumes that all teens are the same.

I like rap music, I like to party with friends. I speed in my car and tune it up. I make mistakes. But, I have 0 tattoos, and as far as that is concerned, there is nothing permanent in life, so I don't feel like there is anything permanent enough for a tattoo), I have 0 piercings, I do not smoke cigarettes, I do not do any drugs of any kind, I do not talk back to my parents, I do not drink alcohol (partying doesn't have to include alcohol). I dont have sex with anyone, either. Thats something to hold off on for a long time (like tattoo's, I haven't met anyone permanent enough yet). As for manners, I am the biggest stickler in the world for manners. If people don't have good table manners, I have literally dumped their food on the ground and told them they act like a dog so you can eat like one. Oh, and I hold the door for everyone.

I'm not directing this at you or anyone else. I'm just saying, recognize that not all teens are the troubled youth. I'm not James Dean in Rebel without a Cause.

After the show I would have a little discussion with her boss about it, perhaps he can instill some manners in her. Better she learns some manners while she is young than when she is older and the stakes may be higher.

You gave the best answer possible. People ask me why I have acrylic nails all the time, and that is my standard answer! I do like the acrylic nails and that is why I wear them! Of course the fact that they are very feminine also helps!!

Actually, she probably didn't know any better! Most sales people and folks in customer services businesses must go thru training to be sure they treat EVERYONE equally. I suspect ticket sellers and takers DON'T receive that training!

My husband remodels houses and I work with him. One day we were finishing up sitting in an elderly lady's living room while he totalled up her bill. She looked at me and said does he get his nails done. I replied "yes, I can't stand a man with dirty nails." It wasn't a lie, I don't like it. I figured if she had the nerve to ask then she should have the grit to take the answer. What's wrong with a man keeping his nails nice and neat, CD or NOT? I couldn't be the wife of these mechanics (or anyone) who have grease and dirt under their nails even after they take a shower. Either take the time to scrub them clean or don't expect to put them on my body.

"My long nails are for playing guitar!!" Now why did that never occur to me, I've been a finger picking guitarist for 25 years? I'm definitely getting some bonded nails, the only problem I foresee is the fact that I actually like to keep my nails short for playing. Looks like I'll be learning to play with long nails.

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Originally Posted by Baby Steps

While to us, and in general, it would be considered rude and too personal for such a situation as purchasing tickets, this girl could have been genuinely interest in why you have nails done that way. She may be struggling with justifications of her own to do the very same thing. Because of youth, not phrased worth a hoot, but we will never know if there waas a decent bone in the body peeking through. I like to hope so.

Your response was perfect, and truthful, and non-revealing. Nice.

Babes

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I agree...maybe she wasn't trying to be rude, was genuinely curious, and simply had the stones to ask you directly about it. Keep in mind, it's something you don't see every day in our society (yet! :) )...a male with acrylic nails.
I also agree with Jess Marie that it's unfair to stereotype all teens as disrespectful, rude, etc. I think people have been saying "These kids today!" about every generation of teens since at least the 1950's, and yet somehow the world hasn't come to an end, even as all these former teens are now adults. :2c:

I think it goes back a bit further than that :-)

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".
Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Attributed to Peter the Hermit, AD 12743

I think it was handled rather nicely. I'm not sure how I would have replied. I too keep short nails for playing guitar, though Dolly Parton seems to manage with huge nails?


Rachel

Rachel,

Kids act like that b/c they get no direction at home. Parents spoil them rotten, they never learn what the word NO means and the kids set the agenda for the parents to follow. They don't learn respect, they don't learn how to set boundaries, they think the world owes them. Then they grow up and expect society to let them walk all over them the way their parents allowed them to do. Is it any wonder why our prisons are full? You can't take away the parent's right to discipline and expect to raise good people.

Dolly manages with huge nails b/c she's got someone at her beck and call to do everything for her.

Very cool! The nearest I've come to this is when I last had my laser facial hair removal in boy mode. As I signed the consent form the GG behind the counter said: "I like your nails, where did you get them done?" (they were my own with an American manicure). I just blushed and said "thanks, my wife did a home version on me". She just smiled and said "lucky you" ... I was thinking "I know!!" :)

1: "Because i can. By the way, why you have no internal censor on what you say? Poor parental figures? Ahh.. '''

2: "Same reason you 'stuff', honey."

3: "I damaged my nails during iron fist (or bil jee) kung fu training

4: "My NRA shooting instructor needed to practice and we ran out out of GGs... "

5: "That's interesting that you say that-- why do you think that, SIR?"

6: "Oooo. out the tranny.. ooo.. 'you're such a chav, you probably think this song is about you'."

7: "Because the Duggers are having child #20... DUH!! "

It isn't only kids who do this... I was en drab, at a work function wearing some eye make-up. Eye shadow and mascara in very light colours and style. I guess the sun was shining right cause this middle aged 'friend' says to me in front of 10 people "Can I ask you a question?" followed quickly by "Are you wearing eye shadow?" ... I responded "no, i have eczema and a cream i put on glows"... or something like that... "must be the sun reflecting that makes it look as such..."
Then I left the table and kept busy doing other stuff until my wife and I could get out of there. Her words when we got in the car were along the lines of "well i guess you won't wear that shade any more huh?" with a smile on her face.

What i am saying is its not only the young people who have no couth, no respect, who feel that it is ok to blurt out something like this... sometimes its the older people as well.

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Originally Posted by Rachel Newark

I think it goes back a bit further than that :-)

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".
Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Attributed to Peter the Hermit, AD 12743

I think it was handled rather nicely. I'm not sure how I would have replied. I too keep short nails for playing guitar, though Dolly Parton seems to manage with huge nails?


Rachel

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You proved my point nicely Rachel, thanks :)

I had a similar thing happen in Hawaii at the Pearl Harbor Memorial.
Two 20 year olds remarked those are cool jeans, I was wearing my skinny jeans and they were quite complimentary really.
They have style and you look great in them.
I was wearing the slim fit blouse, and pixie shoes as well.
Hawaii is a warm place, anywhere else except the memorial I usually wore shorts.

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Originally Posted by Leslie Langford

Building on Eryn's response and taking her assumptions one step further, it's likely that this presumed younger girl also had one or more body piercings, tattoos, spiked, multi-colored hair and/or ripped jeans, as is typical of her age group. Young people these days seem to have no sense of proper manners or etiquette, and sometimes one has to be extraordinarily blunt with them before they "get it".

If she was accessorized as I am suggesting, you should have perhaps turned the tables on her and quizzed her on her particular fashion statements.

Then, of course, there's always the classic Ann Landers response to someone who asks an inappropriate and personal question - "Why on Earth would you ask me that?"

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I think what the girl said was rude, however, you are giving her grief for something she said for being judgmental, but yet you are in turn trying to stereotype someone else. I happen to have tattoos etc etc and most of my friends do. They are the most non judgmental openly kind people you will ever meet. So I think to try and label a generation or stereotype what someone looks like by something they said is just making you a hypocrite. I am not trying to be rude but I think what you said is much more offensive than the girl asking about her nails.

I would also like to comment that I disagree with your generational stereotypes of "getting it". The younger generation, although there are bad apples like there is in ever age gap, is the MOST accepting and generous yet. The only grief or judgement I see anyone get is from the older generation because they are stuck in their ways and just don't "get it".

I've dealt with people with a lot of unusual habits through the years (CD, gay, lesbian, nudist, bisex, swing, BDSM, trans) as well as various races and religions. It still amazes me that nearly everyone of them will find someone to demonize. It seems to me that those of us in these groups should be the most accepting of all, but it never proves to be true. There are CDs who will put down gays even, and black minorities are among the strongest forces against gay marriage in California and Maryland. Arabic friends will put down hispanics and whites. Agnostics put down muslims. Where will it end? Each of us must take our experiences as subjects of prejudice and bias, and broaden our own views toward other groups. Until we do that, we're really no better.

Miriam

Bravo, Miriam! Well said! I'll give you three cheers for that and a big hug when next we meet.