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Yesterday I posted briefly about having to take a 10 day hiatus from dressing. For me, it seemed a long dry spell, but quite a number of you have endured much longer intervals without dressing at all. I am seldom prevented from dressing because I have a supportive spouse and working from home; but I understand that most of you face significant obstacles.
So, what circumstances prevent you from dressing as often as you might like?
Number one barrier for me is the presence of my teenage son in the house. He has enough confusion in his life without dealing with my habits. We have him trained to call or text and wait for acknowledgement before coming home, but sometimes he forgets or has a dead phone (had a very close call on a couple occasions).
Beyond that, it's really just a matter of maintaining balance in my life and for my wife. It's very important for both of us that I'm still very guy-like most of the time (except the bad guy habits), so I try to keep a pretty good balance when we're fully dressed. But when relaxing in the evening she's accepted that my nightgown is equivalent to her robe, so it's pretty unlimited then.
Miriam
The secret to this whole thing is to be by your self and surround your self with only the people that know. Thats the main reason for not dressing is up close an personal , If ya keep em at arms lenth them its ok but when there on top of ya 24/7 its imposable to do,, Just like when your family was down, So I would say crowding is the main reason ,, My main reason,, So tell em to go home ,,, THANX
There are a few reasons actually, hopefully soon they'll be overcome.
#1) Lack of funds: Right now I'm jobless with physical health issues and depression.
However, I do have a supportive family and people looking to help me find suitable work.
#2) While I have a supportive family for health reasons, I have no idea how they would react if I told them about the other things.
This is not going to happen until I have a safety net of some kind.
#3) This ties into #1, I need everything. The hair, the makeup, the clothes all have to be together.
Go big or go home, I can't wear anything if I still feel I look like a man.
#4) I have nowhere to go, even if I had all the resources the only thing that I could do would be spending hours getting dressed to sit in my room. Keeping myself trapped in four walls.
Actually it feels good to get that out. :)
Kim my situation is similar to Mary's. My wife's son lives here and bounces in and out. Like I posted earlier he nearly busted me with makeup on about a month ago. This Sunday he popped in for something he forgot, and came home early from work too. I nearly got busted twice that day fully dressed. The wife does not want family to know, and I agree they have their own crap to deal with as adults.
I cannot leave my home dressed either as I live near two of the biggest gossipers on the street. If they saw me it would be all over the neighborhood quick. They love to dig up dirt.
Marleena,
You are in a very rough situation, I hope that things get better.:thumbsup:
whowhatwhen,
Best wishes, your post was one that brought tear to my eyes. May God bless.:2c:
I'm afraid I do not have a supportive wife. She caught me two years ago and simply couldn't understand it at all. No matter how much I tried to explain it to her. So I purged, hoping that I could put it all behind me as just another chapter in my life. But I can't keep Robyn repressed. She's there deep inside of me and yearns to get out. And I love that Robyn is such a big part of me, always. So here I am, dressing again but trying to keep somewhat discreet and a secret from my wife. I hate doing it this way, but I can't seem to help myself either. I'm trying to figure out how to approach this with her, but for now, I'm secretive. I dress when I can and am trying to find times when I can get out and about without raising suspicion. Which has been no small task because this time around I feel even more feminine, more in touch with Robyn and more confident than ever before. And Robyn wants to go out!
Offspring in the house does create an issue, but right now that's not a problem for me. My biggest issue is "obligations" like work (a big time sink!), rehearsals, manual labor at home (Tina is just not into that kind of stuff), and then there is time when my wife enjoys being with my male side even if it's just time to talk.
It's just like anything else! It's just a question of priorities and maneuvering life to get to do all the things that are important.
Primarily.... Loving my wife more than my clothes...
Awwwwww, that is so sweet ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I know... A momentary laps!! Give me a few minutes to recover! Lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by kimdl93
As a retiree with a working wife, all is well until the summer months. It would be much more convenient if school was year around! The drought lasts from mid/late June until Labor Day! Oh, well. At least I know with some certainty when Stephanie can reappear.
hello everyone
well with three boys all with in there teenage years plus my wife and she doesn't know. it's real hard to be able to dress up or even go shopping. i have dresses, shoes & other undergarments put aside. i find myself always looking around at different things, but with the way things are it is so difficult. i would love to post a photo sometime. in the early morning before taking off for work i may dress up and prepare breakfast in undergarments or a simple dress with heels or just barefoot. doing makeup or painting nails would be out of the question.
I have done the married with children thing. [And it was great!]
I am now out the other side and have a place of my own.
It’s the only way I know to have no restrictions on dressing and living the life I want to.
It’s not for everyone but for me its living the dream.
SUZY
Being in the closet means that you have to take the time that you get which is very rare... So I do other things each day like lipstick, longer nails, a little mascara and conceiler.
One time when we had one of those bad hurricanes I didn't do it for more than month
My wife has known since about day 1 and has hated it since about day 1...so I certainly don't do much if she is around.
When my young teenage son comes to stay. He stays over a couple of nights a week and has no idea about my secret.
no secrets, no obstacles. People want the obstacles they have. plain and simple.
I have discovered the, "Secret of controlling your CDing", Kim! Dress whenever U feel the need! Even if that means: the middle of the nite, in a motel, at the office after work, or out in my storage garage!
As long as I know I can dress WHENEVER THE URGE HITS ME, the urge DOESN'T HIT ME AS OFTEN! Lol!
(Hey! It works for me, anyway!)
Serry, that sounds like a pretty good way of handling the urge... Kinda, the "give in to the force" approach!
For me, same reasons as Karren and Marleena- my wife isn't a fan, and my children. Add in the fact that my wife works longer hours, so I have to watch the children more.
Wife and I are both retired, so I'm basically never alone. She is uttterly unsupportive, hence no time to dress for me any more. When we were working, I had an hour at home alone every day which I put to good use.
Same for me as for some others: a son who is always around, and I'm trying to make up my mind if I want him to know about me or not. Until I let him know, my opportunities for dressing are extremely limited. Yes, I know: the solution is obvious. It's just that the consequences aren't.
My wife doesn't want me to dress around my kids. But when they are not home, I can.
I have but one obstacle to dressing and that is coming up in June. My son is getting married and I am not sure what I will do with that.
For me it is usually travel as my wife and I often travel for up to a mointh at a time, usually in foreign countries. The other restriction would be when we have house guests. Outside of that there are no rerstrictions other than scheduled events at home.
Travel needn't be a total barrier, even in most foreign countries and especially if your wife is along (assuming she's OK with it). You can slip in a few items and/or share with her. Maybe can't do it all, but enough to feed your soul a bit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice B
Miriam
I am traveling at the moment and travel in some countries is easier than others.
I get the feel in each country and if I am comfortable, go for it.
Hong kong is not real easy. Not keen on Chinese jails.
I love my wife and son too much to give that up. She knows that I have "issues" and struggle with them often. What she doesn't realize is that I struggle more often than not. When she travels on businness, that is my time to relax and feed Marlana to keep us all happy. My wife is mot supportive of my situation and because she works grom home, she's always there. Our son is autistic so there's another challenge in that I don't want to confuse him any more. Finally, no wig, no makeup, and recent weight loss, leaves me with very limited options.
WOW! I could have written this almost my situation and the way I feel about my dressing. And we are years a[part in age.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
#2 is not an issue for me I'm happy to say. My SO is the only person in my life and she is miles away...for now.
#3 That's exactly how I feel too! I thought I was the only one that wants to dress completely or not at all for the most part.
I too have just lost my job.I have some minor health issues, (leg and foot pain) and lack of funds.
#4 Ialso get that "all dressed up and no place to go" feeling.
I am currently renting a room from a GG that has in the past prevented me from dressing since she is home as much as me. She is friendly, considerate and a sweet sexy attractive 42 year old. But we have kept our personal lives privatre from each other. You might say we are friends, but not friendly enough taht I wanted to tell her. Now her's the latest. Sge had lost her job too. So, last week she packed up and moved out of state to take a job. So for now i have the house all to myself. So once I get beyond this jobless situation, i will have the place and the time to dress again.
for me it' working 70 + hrs wa week and on weekends grandkids are around. So I find time when and where I can
While my wife totally accepts my dressing, she does not wish to be a part of it. To dress while on a trip with her would be pushing the limits too far. I can still be shaved, have painted toe mails, wear ear rings and a nightie to bed, but that is as far as it is going to go while traveling.
For me, I mostly dress as I want right now, although I don't don't fully dress, and probably wouldn't be inclined to wear make up and dresses every day even if I could.
The only real obstacle I face with any of it is the permanent image of me dressed en femme, which would be permanently burned into the mind of any family, friends, or associates who might encounter while I'm out and about. This is why I'm happy to mostly be a jeans and t-shirt girl. I haven't hardly worn anything but obviously femme jeans in the last couple weeks, and nobody seems to notice. I sometimes wish I could wear my denim mini out in public during the summer, but I still manage to find enough places where I can enjoy the cool breeze between my legs.
Honestly there are not enough opportunities. I like to go clubbing, or go to a comic book/ anime convention go to shows etc and I just don't get to do that enough. Also school does seem to get in the way just a bit. Luckily May will be here sooner than one would expect then maybe I can do a bit more.
very true Miranda. I call them choices. Every one has to make choices in their life. We could choose to not have any obstacles, but have to be willing to accept the consequences.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miranda-E
wife @ home = drab
wife @ grandkids = dressed
Karen, My reasons for not dressing a lot are just what you said. The love of my wife is greater than my love of Renee. My wife knows all about Renee and says that I can dress whenever I desire. (I know what that means. lol) While she knows of my dressing and is supportive in many ways, she says that it just isnt something that she desires to see very often. I respect that view and will dress mainly when she is not around the house for longer periods of time. I feel like I need to take her feelings on the matter into account and therefore dont dress as often as I probably could. I will dress when I am doing paperwork around the office here at home as both of us have our own business. SHe will call when she is coming home and I will tell her if I am dressed and offer to change before she gets home. She will sometimes say not to bother, or will come home without calling in which case I will stay dressed. Another reason sor not dressing as much as I would like is the time factor needed to dress and then change back into male mode. If I cant have a few housrs at least to savor the time as Renee then I guess I am just too lazy to dress. lol
Your replies usually make me laugh cause they are humerous but this one made me go "awww". :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton