Who do you best relate to?

I have recently come to realize something. I have always fealt more comfortable talking to women than men.
As an example (which made me come to realize this), I have been participating in an target archery league at a local club. After we shoot, we usually head to the clubhouse for some social time, a snack, and maybe a few drinks (I stick to Diet Coke). There are lots of guys there, talking about lots of things that I enjoy (hunting, fishing, cabins, etc), yet I seem to always be drawn to the women in the room. I do not talk to them about girly things; I am deeply closeted, but I feel more comfortable talking to them...vacations, cruises, etc.
It has been misinterpeted as flirting (by their SO's), but I am very happy with my wife, and I am not looking for any kind of affair. It is just that I feel more comfortable with the girls than I do with the guys, even though I do enjoy all the same activities they do.
I never really thought about it before, but I have always been more inclined to "hang with the girls". Is this another extension of my feminine side, and how do I get people to understand that I'm not hitting on their women without outing myself? Does anyone else have this issue?

Ohhhhhh yea ,,,, Always talking to the ladys more than the men ,, Dont care about all that other crap ,, Been there done that .

Interesting point. I've often noticed this about myself, but generally ascribe it to growing up on a quiet farm with three sisters. I'm just more comfortable with the rhythm and patterns, and it resonates well with my being. I can function well in an all male setting (necessary in the engineering profession), but feel more comfortable in personal conversation with females.

that issue has always been a down fall for me my wife my sister and good friends all say you are always with the women my wife always though that i was hitting on her friends and some of her friends would tell her he hit on me when all i did was give them a hug and a kind word no hit intened so i had to stop hugging people. i don't care ant more i want to hug some one i do it if i want to comfort them i will do that the heck with what they think

I too have always felt more comfortable with women and I did not like it when I lived in Australia and at a party the sexes would separate, sometimes into different rooms. I wanted to talk to the women, not the blokes. I loved it when I had a woman doctor and I have had two women therapists. I took a weekend course in drawing last summer and of course I was wearing knickers and slip beneath my outer male clothes. All of the other participants were women and at the end of the course they voted me an 'honorary woman'. I would have loved it to show them the very pretty slip and knickers that I was wearing beneath my shirt that day. I smiled broadly and thanked them.

I identify myself as female, so I relate better with the ladies.

I work in a male dominated job with few women, I have found that alot of times they are more comfortable with me than with most of the other men. And of course I like hanging with them, both sides of me do!

I like to think that I relate to women best. At my job we have 29 males and 3 females. I relate to only the males most days. I do really like taking, with the women when I have a chance.

I prefer relating to women most of the time. On occasion though, I have had my fill of estrogen powered conversation, and only hang with the guys.

I find it easier to talk to and hang out with women. They intellectually know I'm not female, and the conversation gets modified accordingly I gather, but over time they tend to sort of forget and drop their guard somewhat. Some of that, I suspect, is related to me mostly sitting there quietly and listening, not controlling the conversation.

Now, it certainly was not always the case that I found it easier to hang out with women. I "socialized" pretty late (e.g., first kiss was at 23), and I would get nervous and never knew "how to talk to women". Guys were easier that way: I didn't have the "just being friendly" vs "being Interested" struggle when it came to guys. But over time, I found I had less and less to say to guys, and less interest in "just hanging".

It happens that I work in technical subject areas where guys are much much more likely (statistically speaking) to post than women are. I can talk shop with guys no problem. The world-wide population of people who work in areas that overlap with mine is by no means small -- but the local population of people to talk shop with is not large :sigh: It definitely isn't one of the cities where you could start a bar fight by trash-talking emacs :devil:

I now know why i liked to hang out at the secretary's desks rather than in the hall with the "guys" Did not have a clue back then while doing it, but it just felt more appropriate. Who knew?

Barbara

I have always related better to women than men. I tend to stay and talk to the women rather than talk sports with the guys.

I notcied the same when I among my coupled friends. It's easier to talk to them. But if am attracted to a girl when I am mute lol I wish I was good with those too

I'm always with the girls at any social function. Hanging out with the guys is a chore, feels like it's just an act... trying blend in and be one of the guys, with the girls I can just relax and be myself.

I can relate to that! I prefer women over the guys! It really doesn't seem to matter what I'm doing! I find women easier to communicate with! I guess that's why I love talking to all of you girls! Hugs!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nitas

I'm always with the girls at any social function. Hanging out with the guys is a chore, feels like it's just an act... trying blend in and be one of the guys, with the girls I can just relax and be myself.

---

Nitas said it all for me.:)

I, too, prefer the company of women. The macho jock posturing, trash-talking, and one-upmanship engaged in by most men leaves me totally cold.

I used to wonder when I was younger why I didn't particularly enjoy binge-drinking in bars or going to strip clubs when my guy friends used to drag me along with them. Not to mention all that other alpha male stuff - contact sports, hunting, fishing, racing dirt bikes etc. I mean, isn't a "real" man supposed to get off on all this stuff?

Now I know, and I no longer beat myself up over this, nor for not carrying the "jackass" gene, either.

Having grown up in a family surrounded by women I am very comfortable in their company, often seen as flirting by those looking in! Even my wife describes me as a terrible flirt. These days my life it finely balanced and I still do all the macho things with my male friends, I enjoy the fishing, shooting and beer drinking, but find myself always drawn to female company in a group situation. I do notice that they come and join me in a group situation too, so it seems there could be something there I don't see.

Marleena, I'm gonna have to agree, Nitas hit the mark dead on.

I have always had more female friends than male. They are much easier to just relax around! I will say this though, I recently came out to one of my gay friends, and he has been really supportive and I've found I really enjoy hanging out with him now. I don't have to keep my guard up constantly and we will make jokes at each other. Often about my dressing or his being gay. It's just really nice to have someone you can be completely loose around.

But overall, girls are much more comfortable for me to be around.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Barbara Ella

I now know why i liked to hang out at the secretary's desks rather than in the hall with the "guys" Did not have a clue back then while doing it, but it just felt more appropriate. Who knew?

Barbara

---

This was exactly my story, too, Barbara! It went on for years at most of the offices where I worked in early and mid career. I had no clue that it was an indicator of my TG personality, but I was definitely different in that way from all the other men, and though the office setup is not like that now, I'm still the only male who has an easy rapport with the secretaries and hangs out with them on breaks...interesting. Your post is kind of an aha moment for me. Thanks!

elizabethamy

Hi,

I know some women would rather be around & talk with men & would interact better than with other women,

I never interacted with men as a man would , yes i had to work under & with men , yet i did not relate with them because of not being a full man / male ,

I did have to talk with men concerning work & yes heavy machinery & with in the building & sites i was on , i tryed i never got it right,

As to mens groups i had a lot of issues just being around them being a part of a group i knew i could never be a part of that, really i was not comfortable around men.

So unless i ...had... to i keeped to my self a lot.
what makes it harder is when your perceved as male & your not really accepted by male or female ,
so i just lived with that, so friendships with men never happened, friendships with women very few , because i treated girls as sisters, i really did not wont a girl friend i needed a sister,

Never mind my life is where it should be , & i can interact with , be with & work with girls & women & there is no issues no problems & have some very close women friends .

I would have four women friends who i have & still do know going back 50 & 39 years, & Jos knows them as well.i do have a few men friends who im comforable with who are in our groups & i work with some of those,

As to Archery im one of those & a member of our S C A group, we would have both men & women about 40 of us about 20 of us are women. & i compete against some very good Archers ,

I think im a lot better now around men & more so with women , i did learn a few things years ago so i can talk with some experance & do know what im talking about, whats funny is its coming from a woman & most men have accepted this as well. so it works well.

...noeleena...

Seem to do well with women having cared for them for over 45 years, perhaps because they were treated with respect and I listened to them. They were not a threat to me as some males perceive them to be.

I'm a mixed bag. Overall, I'm happier hanging out with women. On a couple of occassions, I've been told by one of my wife's friends and by a female business associate that I'm just one of the girls! I can still fake it tho - when I'm in a group of men, I can manage a conversation on guy stuff. Its hard to avoid when you have two sons.

Even as a kid, I always seemed to drift to the room women where gathered in, rather than the room the guys would get together. When I grew up, I still find I will end up in a group talking to a couple of the ladies, a lot more than I do the men. Funny, at the same time, my wife will end up talking to the men, more than she does the women. She has always gotten along better with men.
Tina B.

Absolutely more at ease in the company of other women...no matter what the topic of discussion.

It isn't about the gender to me, it is the conversation. So I may tend to talk with the ladies a little more, only because I don't care for politics, NASCAR, or college sports. After that, there are a lot of good conversations on both sides.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sue

It isn't about the gender to me, it is the conversation. So I may tend to talk with the ladies a little more, only because I don't care for politics, NASCAR, or college sports. After that, there are a lot of good conversations on both sides.

---

Amen Sue. I'm careful around women but get along better with them. I love sports, but my life does not revolve around them. I'm always on my guard with men in hopes that they don't sense who I am. At times, I don't fit in with either of the genders at parties so I stay pretty much to my self and either help in the kitchen or act as bar tender.