Does just wearing 1 or 2 articles of women's clothing make u a crossdresser?

I haven't been around much lately, things have been really quiet with my friends CDing since our full dress up session. We still talk but not so much about this subject.

But I got to thinking about it today. He hasn't wanted to dress like that again ( or at least as far as I know and I think he'd tell me) but has been wearing stockings on occasion and women's underwear even less often. He seems to NOT be interested in dressing in any more than that again, or at least not right now.

SO my question is.... is he really even a crossdresser? I mean he likes the feel of the stockings and underwear but if he has no intrest in going any further than those things on occasion then is that really even crossdressing? I would think he'd want to take it further than just that?

Doesn't matter to me either way, just thinking about it.

Just don't wear clothing made of two different materials....as stated in the Old Testament: Deuteronomy 22:11 You shall not wear a material mixed of wool and linen together. :evilbegon

We're all different, GG. And, the urge comes and goes to varying degrees, with many of us. The first thing I ever tried on was some ladies jeans. Then, I didn't think of trying on another thing for a year!

I'm NOT going to make any predictions about your BF. But, if I were u, I wouldn't throw away his stash just yet!

Crossdressers comes in all shapes and desires. With some it doesn't count unless they transform themselves into a a woman and then go out. Others are content to dress in part and then stay home. Some love pantihose, others love nighties. Some dress all the time, others dress now and then. But if they find happiness wearing women's clothing, they are all crossdressers.

If you wear any clothing of the opposite sex, you are technically a crossdresser! Maybe not what those of us on this forum would actually consider a crossdresser, but technically yes he is!

There can be many reasons for his not wanting to... Like one could be and I say could be . that he might be fighting with himself, Like when some of us fight an inside battle of shame , guilt , hatred etc. Or that quick little dress up session satisfied his dressing need for a while. One thing were good at is denying our true selves. But I can't say just a thought. What ever his reason Like it was said before don't let him Purge....(thats throw all his girly stuff away) ! Just be there for him and tell him that its ok to be who he really is inside and when he's ready you'll be there.

My husband didn't dress for 2 years.... but, during that 2 years, yes... he was still a crossdresser.

Is a woman a crossdresser when she wears tennis shoes and sweat socks and a college sweatshirt? If a guy wears bikini underwear and women's jeans is he a crossdresser? Personally, I feel you need to be wearing far more than a couple of items of clothing to be considered cross dressing. But that's just me...

If all I can put on are a pair of panties for the day, I am still a crossdresser. Don't worry about him, he may be fighting inner demons as we all have our thoughts to sort out of one kind or another. Just continue to be there with and for him.

Barbara

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Baileystheone

Is a woman a crossdresser when she wears tennis shoes and sweat socks and a college sweatshirt? If a guy wears bikini underwear and women's jeans is he a crossdresser? Personally, I feel you need to be wearing far more than a couple of items of clothing to be considered cross dressing. But that's just me...

---

Not all the time, Bailey.

Her friend, was full on dressing, and stopped for his own reasons. Almost like a purge. Just because he slowed down to a few items, doesn't stop him from being one still. He will dress fully again, in time.

I agree with most the responses here. I often go long preriods without fully dressing or even under-dressing. Other times I might where 1 or 2 items for a while. But, ultimately I know who and what I am. The passion never goes away.

CROSS-DRESSING: the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex

According to Merriam-Webster

I would say yes, that fits the definition.

i dunno even if i underdress with a pair of panties or what not somehow i don't consider it crossdressing unless i go all the way. that's just me though

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sissystephanie

If you wear any clothing of the opposite sex, you are technically a crossdresser! Maybe not what those of us on this forum would actually consider a crossdresser, but technically yes he is!

---

Is that is true, then almost all women (GGs) are crossdressers.

I'm not going to get all philosophical in my answer (though the topic reminds me a bit of "if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it..."), or try to predict what it is your friend may be feeling, but I'll simply explain my own experiences in the off chance that it'll provide some insight here.

I LOVE being Lauren. Love it! Pulling the whole look together, being as complete as possible, brings about some of the best emotions I've ever felt. But just as some of us have bad hair days, I've had bad everything days when my look has been so sub-par that I kind of lose my enthusiasm for doing a complete transformation. During those periods, I didn't completely swear off of my dress-up periods (at least for very long), but I didn't have a desire or need to put on makeup, or sometimes even a wig, or do some of the other things that typically make me feel complete. I'm not exactly sure why this has happened. It could be that the poor outcomes gave me a "why bother?" attitude. It could also be sort of a self-protection mechanism: By dressing up only part way, I'm leaving open the possibility that I might conceivably attain a satisfactory look with a stronger effort, and my brain can kind of fill in the blanks and overlook the obvious flaws. If I go for the complete package and wind up falling short of what I'd like, I tend to be much more critical, as it's the best look I'm capable of at that particular time.

Another experience I'll share -- and I've already babbled too long -- is this: As much as I enjoy wearing complete outfits (whether or not I'm going for a complete look with makeup), there are instances in which I don't have the energy or time to really dress up, but will still "be" Lauren. Sometimes when I'm reading, or cooking, or doing something else around the home, I'll slip into Lauren mode even if I'm not wearing much, if any, of her clothing. So the absence of full dress-up sessions or even feminine attire does not necessarily mean that the girl inside is absent as well.

Would a regular guy (not a crossdresser) ever even consider putting on a women's garment? Therein lies the answer (IMHO).

It has to do with the intent. If your friend is wearing these garments specifically because they are feminine, then he is CDing.

We had a member here some years back who asked about women's construction boots. I posted pics of both, men's and women's boots. They looked identical, except for the sizing and the men's were less expensive, and asked why he didn't buy those. He said it was because it was more fun to wear women's. This member was CDing. lol

Male crossdressers have a female gender identity to one degree or another. We dress in women's clothing to express that identity, to contact that part of ourselves. A woman who dresses in jeans, sweatshirts, etc. is not doing so to express a part of her identity. That's the difference between a male crossdresser and a woman wearing men's clothing. I would say that if a man is only wearing panties and pantyhose underneath his masculine attire, he's still crossdressing because he's doing so to express his feminine identity. At least that's my understanding. (Or maybe he just didn't have anything else clean to wear!)

Nothing he is going through is that unusual, so I would not worry too much about it. One's desire to crossdress can vary greatly from person to person, and even then for each person it can vary over time. The odds are his desire to dress may return in time, so I would encourage him not to purge.

Even then, a majority of males who wear women's clothing only wear one or two or maybe a few items and do not dress fully. I would imagine that, statistically speaking, that most males who wear lingerie do not want to wear anything else or go further and are content with just the lingerie.

As has been said already, it's not about the clothes or what clothes or how often. Does he have a feminine gender identity that he expresses at varying times to varying degrees? If the answer is yes then yes, he is a cross dresser. Every so often I have gone through a period where it was just couldn't be bothered / not interested / damn just happy being a guy today. Also every so often I think you do have a look in the mirror and go "well, thats weird" and you go, hmm, we'll try something different for a bit. But it always comes back. Because it really is about gender identity and I don't think that really changes much.

You can argue it both ways but I would be inclined to agree with ReineD in that with just wearing a small amount of what would normally be female clothes it would be the intent of wearing it , but (always that but):heehee: seeing that he has gone all the way in the past I would suspect that there is at least a bit of intent going on .

Coming from a non cross dresser's perspective, Once you have accepted this you have accepted all of it.


Julia

IMHO - CD'ing is as much a state of mind as it is the outer presentation of clothing. I often can only wear under clothing and toe-nail polish. But I'm a crossdresser 24/7 - regardless of what I'm wearing. It's in my head all the time! It's part of who / what I am.

The desire to fully dress comes and goes (ok, so it's mostly there 24/7), but opportunity isn't always there. But just because opportunity and circumstance prevent me from fully presenting femme, I'm still a crossdresser and always will be.

dressing is mandatory, meaning being around people in no clothes is usually frowned upon. But what you are wearing isn't so much. There aren't any arrows or bells or whistles that go off when a crossdresser takes a shower or a bath. So even if you are naked you are still a crossdresser. I have never dressed fully until last year, when I realized that there was a change in the way I felt about putting on woman's clothes. Now I do it at least 2-3 times a week and underdress all the time.

Well there is something that others and I call the pink fog. It may have lifted over by where he lives but he is still a cross-dresser.

Tess

Imagine the following scene: a poor young kid takes a girl back home after a date. Her parents are gone, and she jumps all over him. Not at all what he was anticipating, so he's not exactly prepared. She quickly gets him down to his matching, pink lace bra and panties, where she stops, flabbergasted.

Says she, "You ***** *****!"

And he replies, "I'm not a crossdresser. It's only two items!"

Best wishes, Annabelle

I do believe that once you have worn womans clothes, you are a CDer for life.
I once went 3 years with out putting on a single womans item; I was just way to
involved with work and family at the time.
Now that I am retired, well let say the Pendulum is swinging the other side of center.
Rader

IMO it does make you a crossdresser, but your wardrobe will get bigger and bigger as time goes on and you will likely more were female apparel at the same time. Best wishes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by RADER

I do believe that once you have worn womans clothes, you are a CDer for life.
Rader

---

Surely there's something that could be done with this idea? Cut down on crime, e.g. Anyone who commits a felony would be required to CD while in prison. When he/she gets out, what's that going to do for his/her image? And think of all the doubts, guilt and shame we've all been through. Maybe that would slow them down. And don't tell me that constitutes "cruel and unusual punishment". Unusual until it becomes commonplace. And who among us would call being forced to CD "cruel"?

Just a thought. Best wishes, Annabelle

I look at it this way... When I borrowed a pair of my wifes panties to wear under a very tight pair of leather pants for a costume party because my boxer breifs were too bulky, that was not crossdressing. When I continued to wear womens panties even thought I owned almost identical mens bikini breifs just becuase they were womens panties, that was crossdressing.
And sitting here now in panties, bra with forms, skirt and female top with my toes painted pink, well, that is definately crossdressing. :)

what about guys that get all dressed up for a bar's drag contest as a joke? I've seen these a couple of times at a ski area, and I think some of the guys might be secret CDs, but others are just being good sports.

Sometimes crossdressers don't feel the need to dress up for a little while. That happens to me from time to time.

But for me personally, I don't consider myself to be crossdressing until I'm in just women's clothing, even though some days I may want to relax in a bra

Yes. Yes. Yes. If he likes the feel of pantyhose, or panties you can pretty much bet he is a crossdresser!

Thanks for the replies everyone, sorry I haven't been able to get on the computer for a few days.

I defeniatly think he's working through some strong inner feelings and still trying to hide even from himself. I think he thinks if it's only a little or just one thing then that's ok? And it got me wondering too. We haven't really talked much about it lately, just little quick conversations here and there.

I try not to talk about CDing in relation to his GF, not my business, actually none of his relationship is my business and I try to keep my opinions to myself. BUT the other day we were talking about painting his nails and how he can't in the summer she might see it and the conversation went in a not so good direction. She doesn't know about the dressing, any of it and I said something about his relationship and he jumped on me saying it was all fine. Well if it's so fine then why doesn't she know about this entire side of you and what you struggle with ( I'm assuming) daily?? I didn't say that of course but that's what I WANTED to say. How can her not knowing a huge part of you be ok? How can you not being able to be you all the time be ok?

I don't know I guess I'm still all confused about this whole thing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crossdressersfriend GG

I don't know I guess I'm still all confused about this whole thing.

---

I can share with you some observations I've made over the years. Every once in awhile there will be a member who will actually welcome a non-accepting partner. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but it does happen. These CDers say they are embarrassed to dress in front of their partners, or they don't feel comfortable doing it. Several CDers didn't want the CDing to go any further than it had, and they rather liked having the sort of built-in control of not having the opportunity to dress whenever they might want to.

This forum is filled with people who for the most part, have accepted the CDing within themselves. But there are lots of CDers out there who haven't and who wouldn't dream of joining a forum such as this one, even though privately they might occasionally go to the trans porn sites. Or just lurk here. And I'm guessing that even for many of our members, there were years of purging cycles and wishing this would go away. I can't begin to describe the conflict that many GMs experience when they feel urges to dress as women, especially when combined with a fear that their SOs might think they are "lesser men" for doing this. Male socialisation is very strong and if someone doesn't have the personality to be flexible, or perhaps even the right background, it's not unheard of they would hate to see a feminine identity in themselves. So in this case, the barriers to the Cding are internal just as much as, if not more than, the external barriers of non-accepting spouses.

If there is such a thing, you need to find a forum of CDers who haven't accepted themselves and ask about why your friend behaves the way he does. You might find answers there that are closer to his truth.

My SO told me, way in the beginning of our relationship, that it was important for me to not always assume that he wanted to dress and more important, to always respect when he didn't. Not to sound like Yoda, but everyone must follow their own path.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ReineD

I can share with you some observations I've made over the years. Every once in awhile there will be a member who will actually welcome a non-accepting partner. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but it does happen. These CDers say they are embarrassed to dress in front of their partners, or they don't feel comfortable doing it. Several CDers didn't want the CDing to go any further than it had, and they rather liked having the sort of built-in control of not having the opportunity to dress whenever they might want to.

So in this case, the barriers to the Cding are internal just as much as, if not more than, the external barriers of non-accepting spouses.

---

This really makes sense for me! I do think that he's with her and stays because if the "normalness" of the whole thing. & I'm sure he loves her too, don't get me wrong. He's thought for so long how bad what he does is and that no one will accept him if they knew the truth and I think he actually believes it now? This keeps him in check, he can't let it get out of hand or she'll find out and life as he knows it will be over.

Which is maybe why he doesn't want to dress in any more stuff than he can easily hide or can get form her wardrobe. It's contained and talking about it or enjoying it threatens that containment, it already has now one person knows, me.

Right. It's a way to self-edit. But also, we tend to think it is always a non-accepting society that causes CDers to feel ashamed of themselves to the point they don't want to CD. While this may be true for some CDers, for others it is their own self-editing, their own inner masculinity or personality traits that will not give reign to any more feminine expression than is necessary (even if this MIGHT change down the road), and honestly they're happy and feel fulfilled that way even though this may be hard to understand for many of the CDers who are in this forum. The members here seek this place out specifically because they do have a great enough need to be feminine.

Not every CDer feels the need to express the same degree of femininity. And for those who have a lesser need, it is not always due to feeling repressed by a biased society. At the same time, the CDers who do want to express a greater degree of femininity do need to overcome societal bias.

Yeah I'm kind of thinking what he's done is enough for now, he's content with dressing for someone to see what it felt like, but just doesn't want to go any further down that road right now. Which is fine! Stockings and panties once in a while to relax will work!


I do think that just talking about it has helped more than the dressing. He confided in someone and they didn't run screaming for the door, it was all ok. He can talk about it if he wants, but if not we're good with other subjects too, it's a good combination.

I think coming to a forum would be way too much for him to handle too, I haven't told him I even come here, that would be too much. But I need to talk to someone I can't tell anyone! Damn secrets!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crossdressersfriend GG

I haven't told him I even come here, that would be too much. But I need to talk to someone I can't tell anyone! Damn secrets!

---

CDfriend, you should just tell yourself you have a friend who likes to wear pantyhose and panties once in awhile, and just leave it at that. It's no big deal, really.

And one last thing, it sounds as if your friend sees his CDing as a rather intimate, private thing. And so he may well have felt as if he was emotionally cheating on his girlfriend by having shared something so private with you, and since he loves her he may feel as if he shouldn't have done that. You should respect this and maybe try to just let it go.

I believe if a man limits his wearing of feminine attire to one garment, e.g., panties, he is probably not a cross dresser. I would say he has a fetish, especially if the fetish is sexually motivated. However, I do believe there are true cross dressers who are resisting their psychological predisposition to engage in cross dressing. They may be resisting but 'sneaking' some forbidden fruit by wearing panties. It sounds like your friend is still conflicted about his cross dressing.

And, yes, I will agree with Annabelle, that the woman would call him a cross dresser. I really think you have to explore the man's mindset on his level of femininity; 0% to 100%.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ReineD

CDfriend, you should just tell yourself you have a friend who likes to wear pantyhose and panties once in awhile, and just leave it at that. It's no big deal, really.

And one last thing, it sounds as if your friend sees his CDing as a rather intimate, private thing. And so he may well have felt as if he was emotionally cheating on his girlfriend by having shared something so private with you, and since he loves her he may feel as if he shouldn't have done that. You should respect this and maybe try to just let it go.

---

Right again I'm sure Reine. I'm not dwelling on it, it's a part of him but not one he wants to explore any more than he has already and I'm good with that.

That's why I haven't been around as much nothing really going on, I guess that happens with lots of peoplo here from time to time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crossdressersfriend GG

SO my question is.... is he really even a crossdresser? I mean he likes the feel of the stockings and underwear but if he has no intrest in going any further than those things on occasion then is that really even crossdressing? I would think he'd want to take it further than just that?

---

You should try talking to him about it. He might want someone to talk to about how he feels. -K

the biggest thing a crossdresser fears is shame and rejection let your boyfriend know you are ok with his dressing and you love and accept him and even be willing to help him dress he will love you beyond your wildest hope buy him some sexy like a bra and panty set and get a matching one for yourself and show him you want him to be happy and comfortable when he is with you make love to him while he is dressed he will never look for anyone else

I think we often assume that every CD would be dressed in a feminine manner at every chance. Maybe a few articles of clothes and the occasional "full-on" dressing session is enough for your friend? Maybe it's too much work? My SO loves to look feminine and knows he has the green light to dress how he wants to dress. However, when it comes down to spending 3-4 hours getting ready while I play Fallout, he gets annoyed. So, he will often paint his nails or wear a nightie more often than he goes all out en femme. We both agree that the end results are nice, but neither of us actually likes getting ready. So, sometimes it comes down to him enjoying being in a nightie and playing a video game...instead of being in the bathroom for hours while I'm marching around the Wastelands without him.

I think with everything in life there should be a happy balance. Maybe he has found a good balance that is a bit different than some members on this site?