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So, for those who present, how do you feel about the attention you get from guys? I noticed today that every woman who came into where I was having lunch was checked out by all the guys, regardless of her age or looks. Nothing conscious on thier part, but when I paid attention to it, I really saw it. The women also checked out the men as they came in, but it was much more subtle.
I don't think I'll ever present, but I am curious how it makes those who do go out dressed feel.
It feels rewarding if they don't figure out I'm a dude in a dress. I am ecstatic when I blend.
It is really an eye opener to see this from both sides if you can luck in to pulling it off. As a guy you typically don't get that kind of attention and then when you are CDing at first it seems like guys are reading you, but instead they may actually be checking you out. It is a really odd feeling especially if you are not looking for that kind of attention. But, there is a slight buzz knowing someone in the world finds you desirable.
Someone better look when I walk into a room...
Hi,
As a woman & it makes little difference wether men or women ill allways be looked at i dress a little different as in my pic i dont mind im so used to that now.
My facial features are more masculine i dont do the make up, if lippy & eyebrow liner is counted i have no need i have lovely skin & its olive so why cover up whats nice.
When i dress in my period wear or garb then of cause im looked at much more because our style is so different & not seen on our streets much i have fun &
enjoy being dressed in my clothes that way infact its more me,
You know what some of my out fits are really lovely = a wench & Chatiline- lady of the Castle.
...noeleena...
I'm rather relieved to report that I don't get much attention from guys. I think the combination of height, age, and a prominent wedding ring seems to take care of that issue.
I made a point once to see if it was true that most men look at all the women who pass by, and I also notice they do this. Some are more obvious about it than others. I'm told it's an automatic response, something to do with a guy's wiring or something. :p It's fun to observe a man who is with his wife; he knows just when and how to look (when his wife has her attention elsewhere). lolQuote:
Originally Posted by outhiking
Anyway, I'm also told that most female passers-by won't hold these men's attention. They glance, determine whether she is worth looking at or not, and if she isn't they don't give her another glance. Likely the men themselves don't even notice they do this, unless of course a good looking woman walks by and then it's a signal to have a longer look.
Given this information, I wouldn't let it flatter or bother you, since looking up is an instinctual response not unlike blinking. If on the other hand you have the body shape/sexy clothes/hair/etc that merit a second look, then you can decide how you feel about it. But, I should think that anyone who dresses that way does so because they enjoy the attention?
Tongue in cheek comments on this one.
Firstly I was watching a TV program on advertising and they quoted a study that looked at social interactions between people, specifically what they "look" at when they meet someone. Women typically "look" at the face and keep their attention on the face. Men, whilst also looking at the face, almost universally also look at the groin, and even when talking or involved in a conversation will still intermittently look at the other persons groin. This is irrespective of the gender of the person they meet!
Secondly My wife was recently at a function and talking with some (male) friends. A lady entered the room who was rather, shall we say well endowed" and well, according to my wife, was certainly making the most of her endowments. Well, the friend that was speaking at the time this person walked past literally just stopped mid sentence. Bit of typical male chauvanistic behaviour you could say but my wife said that even she and another lady who was in the group were basically "wow, thats certainly on display". The other lady (from Queensland, think an australian version of Texas) said "we call that the cattle dog bra look. It goes round back and pushes em up". :D
From my experience men would notice any woman and say something. I've been whistled at, call out at, I've even had one come up to me (I got nervous on that one) part of me loves the attention but the other part doesn't want it to go no further than a holler
Well I havent gone out CDing but in my freshman year of high school I had my hair at its longest(slightly past the collar bone) and that's when I was becoming aware of how feminine I looked. I noticed alot of guys couldn't help give me a glance an then would look at me somewhat puzzled when they realized I was male. Ofcourse I was 14 at the time and didn't quite have the same outllook on gender that I do today so my reaction was typical of most guys, very pissed off lol. But if I get mistaken for a woman now I get rediculously happy.
Well I was dressed in a short black skirt, black panty hose, 4 in heels and was with the wife putting gas in her car. The island over was a guy that was really checking me out!! My back was to him as I was watching the cars go by in the street. When I got back in the car my wife relayed this info to me. We both had a good laugh as if he only knew what he was Checking out. Made me fill good though!!!
BobbieB
I can't help but be the "center of attention" when I'm out on the dance floor dancing en femme, even for gay guys. Then it kind of becomes a matter of just "how" they are looking at me. Lately I have incorporated female pheromones in my fragrance as an experiment. What I've found with that is that being "looked at" is pretty much a guarantee.:)
Well I suppose I enjoy the 'confirmation' of being femme by men noticing me when out and about but really, it's the women I want to notice me, not the men. Having said that, there is simply no way on earth to stop men from staring at someone wearing a pair of heels, hose and sexy skirt/dress. The heels alone, turns mens heads everytime without fail.
[SIZE="3"]When I'm out en femme I enjoy attention from a guy, be it a look, smile, or a comment. If I'm alone, walking to a club or in a parking garage I have felt vulnerable, GG's I've talked to say it's the same for them sometimes.[/SIZE]
I don't mind it at all! Love it,actually!
My wife dosent mind me looking. You know look but don't touch.
I used to be checked out a lot when I was 20 and had an army of female supporters.
The surprised look when they found out I was a guy was always rewarding.
It was fun being the center of attention and I was proud of it.:)
Well... to add my two cents worth, I havent been out in public but if I ever do and men notice me I would feel like theyll know Im a man in womens clothes and that would make me very uncomfortable. I would not have an issue with women noticing me probably since Im wired that way I would enjoy that much better. Oh my, would that make me a semi lesbian? Hmmmm............
Thera
I guess anyone in short black skirt, hose and heels putting gas in car would get positive attention. Maybe that's why a lot of GG's go about in sweatshirts and jeans, to deter a lot of unwanted attention?Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbieBrooks
I would love attention from guys if I were to go out. I got it once, even though he was drunk, he tried dancing with me :-P
looks or comments dont bother me but theres been occasions where supposed friends got too friendly with their hands,that totally creeps me out .
I love the attention I get and I just drive around. I've run into a few scenarios where someone would start talking...I talk back...no one had a clue. Then I tell them I'm a guy. The look on their faces is priceless! and oh does it hurt so good!! Those are the moments where my manhood takes a backseat..actually gets left behind in the dust. Then I wake up with a 5oclock shadow like, "remember me"?!! Not cool. xoxoxo
Be careful with this. Some guys become violent when they discover the "girl" they were admiring is really a guy. There are unstable people out there who can easily become violent and this is the sort of thing that might push someone over the edge.Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbieBrooks
The other side of this: as a GG I would not wear short skirts, black hose, and 4 inch heels and bend over while putting gas in my car. But then I've been socialized to always be aware of my safety. And like outhiking said, this would be unwanted attention for me.
Just take off your heels and kick his ass. ( oops,did I just say that)Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Thera
:kickbutt:
I guess I would have to say, I do enjoy attention from men when given. Last friday eve a couple of other dressed girls and I got together for girls night out. We were at a nice restaurant that also had a bar. There was an older gentleman that kept looking our way, and we did not make anything out of it. Just girl giggles and joking about it. After dinner we went to the bar area and took a table. The man had the bartender bring over drinks (a couple of times) for all three of us. My girl friends went to the ladies room and I stayed at the table and he came over to see if I would like to have a date. I graciously thanked him for the nice thought but told him we are celebrating being girls. He looked at me funny, and handed me his business card with his private cel number written on it, and said if I ever changed my mind, to call him. When my girl friends came back from the ladies room, I told them what happened and they both teased me unmercilously for the remainder of the evening. I liked the man's style, and yes, I was very pleased with myself and my appearance. Who knows, maybe I might get real silly and call him....Well, I guess I could have a moment of madness and a loss of my sanity. So Yes, I did enjoy the attention.........Veronnie
I don't go out (yet), but if I did, attention from guys would probably weird me out because it would be unwanted since I don't have any attraction towards men. It would be different if women looked at me, dressed or not
I didn't even notice when I went out with my SO while she was "en femme." I don't think my SO noticed either.
I think I have learned to ignore men when I go out. Usually it becomes harder in like bars or something when alcohol makes men think they are more attractive than they actually are...and, gives them some sort of weird motivation to try something. I think I have tuned out men checking me out, but I still notice aggressive things like butt grabs. These usually result in a slap or throwing of a drink. I'm going to get Snookied one day.
I don't like getting checked out like I am a piece of meat...but, I think guys just instinctively look at women. I have more or less tuned out that kind of attention. But, I am pretty scrappy...if I saw some guy overly checking out Cami, I would probably say something to him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
This may be true in some cases, but in my experience one does not need to dress sexy, have their hair done up or have a terrific body in order to get attention by men. The mere fact that they are female often times will suffice. Not sexy to some is going to be sexy to someone else. Remember... it takes all kinds to make the world go round. I know that you didn't mean it in this context, but your statement does sound a bit like... Well she's was asking for it because of the way she looks or because of the way she is dressed. There have been plenty of times where i have taken my kids down to walk on the boardwalk wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, no make up, and tennis shoes and there's been some guy who's checking me out like I am on the menu. No do, no sexy black skirt, no black stockings and wearing a wedding ring with a diamond who's shine could be spotted from outer space. With my kids for CS! it's not whether you're frumpy or fantastic.. it's men and and the way they are wired.. gotta love them though. ( for the most part)
Kel
Thera Home Your testosterone is showing . If I wanted to duke it out with every guy who payed me unwanted attention I mights as well set up shop in a boxing ring.:heehee: You just can't do that.. besides fighting isn't lady like!
I love it when guys check me out.
Guys can be complicated sometimes. If the guy finds out the girl he's been looking has a penis, he might try to distance himself or he may become violent. Even if the guy might be into special girls;) he may turn hostile or even violent because he's worried about what his friends may think.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I like it!:o It makes me feel even more feminine. :battingeyelashes:
No. lol. I was saying that if a woman is quite ordinary looking, in most cases after the initial first glance, she will be dismissed. If she's beautiful and has a good body, she will get that longer look no matter what she wears. I dare say that most of us, in our day-to-day, banging around appearance are quite ordinary looking. Also, age plays a role in this.Quote:
Originally Posted by kellycan27
I was also suggesting that unless a CDer naturally has the type of body that is eye-catching, if she dresses to blend and just goes out looking like a regular female (especially if this CDer is the average age in this forum which is in the 40s or 50s), she won't get glanced at any more than the ordinary woman. If, on the other hand, she has the big breast forms, curvy hip and butt pads, waist cincher, dressed in clothes that particularly enhance this, then yes, she will get that second look but again, if this is her choice of appearance, is it because she wants to be noticed as a voluptuous woman? :p
I don't want attention from guys, in fact it worries me. Are they interested because I look female or because they know I'm a guy in a dress?
When I go out it's for me to feel comfortable and enjoy myself. I might be in the minority, not sure.
The first time I went out locally as Traci to a club having a tg-friendly event, I drove downtown and parked on the street. Walking down South St., nervous as all get-out and certain everyone was staring at the freaky guy (i.e., me), I walked past a convenience store. One of the employees was standing at the front door and he made it a point to make eye contact with me. He smiled and said "Niiiiiice." Well, I was (and am) hooked on the feeling I had at that moment *lol* As I walked away from him toward the club, I'll venture to say there was just a little extra wiggle in my walk *smile*
That's so funny...I would have had a complete opposite reaction. Kind of like when construction workers whistle at you. (Like...seriously...are construction workers following their stereotype, or is it just how a lot of them really are??) I usually give a look that says, "Dream on...don't even try it."Quote:
Originally Posted by tracigirl_tv
It's really interesting to see how different people respond to attention from people.
But, I also think that maybe CDing and getting attention from someone that you look good is self-affirming. I think it may be hard for GGs (like Reine and I) to relate to that feeling since we don't need a lot of affirmation on how feminine we look.
You know, this brings up an interesting point. Up til now I've assumed the CDers pass as females, as I've always assumed was the intention.Quote:
Originally Posted by tracigirl_tv
But, we all know there are admirers (there have been countless threads about this but a good description is found here: http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html). And if a guy looks at a CDer and winks, "Niiiice", well, is it safe to assume he is straight and he appreciates the CDer because he feels she passes as an attractive woman, or is he just into kink or guys who wear dresses? And would this matter to the average CDer (if there is such a thing as an average CDer lol)
And when people stare at a CDer walking down the street, is it because they read him or is it because his presentation is impeccably that of a beautiful woman? Maybe there are just way too many variables to discuss this coherently.
Edit - I brought this up because you said in your post that you looked like a guy and despite this, the employee at the convenience store eyed you appreciatively.
Also, looking at Lori's post under me (I don't feel like clogging up the thread with yet another post), I do feel flattered when someone appreciates how I look. There are subtleties, however. There are men who genuinely find some women beautiful and they let them know. I'm thrilled when I get an appreciative glance and a genuine compliment, and there are other men who are quite crass about this, giving the woman the impression he's just looking at her a$$, boobs, or other parts of her body, in other words he is looking at her like a piece of meat. :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by tracigirl_tv
I wonder sometimes when GG says that if they remember being say 13 or 14 and "boy crazy" and how when a boy. a certain boy in particular said "niiice" did they at that time feel objectified.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
I know that may sound strange but consider a couple things.
1. most of the TGs here are used to NOT being noticed. We blend in on an everyday basis. We are not movie stars looks or athletes or male models. When we dress we either like what we see or we freak out that we are men in a dress. When a man or woman says even something as simple as "you look good" it is something we are not used to. And it feels good. GG's have become jaded (maybe) and have become hardened to the over attention so they either ignore it or reject it.
2. In many cases here when we do dress up it takes us a looooong time ( :)) and having attention is the reason (at least for me because if I want to be ignored I will stay home or just go out in my daily clothes...which are from the women's department but no one notices cuz they are shorts and polos and slip on shoes and you get the point). GG's dress more for their SO's (or to attract a SO) and they only want the SO to notice but the nature of going out puts you where there is collateral attraction. Wouldn't it be nice to wear a neon sign that says "This ain't for you..it is for my sweet babboo only". I am sure that to a certain extent a male dressed in a nice suit at a bar or party gets the same thing , it is just that men, in general don't pay attention unless the woman is on their radar.
I for one like attention from both sexes but since I venture mostly to gay venues I guess I kind of feel safe that gay guys may say nice things but they won't attack me and the lesbians may like me as a friend but there is NO way they want more. Sort of a force field for me. "Straight" guys (and I say that sarcastically because c'mon so very few of "us" are good enough to not be read by even the most causal observer) who hit on me or even remark about me are not straight I don't care what they say. Still it is nice when they tell me how "pretty" I am.
I think that maybe the TG (read those in the CD area) are kind of stuck in the age area that the GG's were in when they were tweens. Some of us mature and we do the same as the GG's, we ignore the obviously hormonal and sociological driven looks and comments. But as I said before, if I spend two hours getting made up and dressed someone better notice.
Oh, I remember being 13. I think about that time I was pretty sure I was going to marry Justin Timberlake/lived in my own fantasy world. (No, seriously...I really thought I was actually going to marry JT). It was a rough time in my life...I wouldn't go back lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah
If I had been walking by JT and he eyed me up and down, saying, "Niiice..." I think I would be a little disappointed. Maybe I wouldn't feel I was *objectified*...but, I'd be a little let down that the man I wanted to notice me had nothing more original to say. I mean, I still live in somewhat of a dream world...I would have appreciated JT saying, "I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful tonight."
It's rare that a man does that. I have unrealistic standards...I realize this. But, then, women write the romance novels that I read...so, the male characters that I love actually originated from a woman's mind. :( (Oh, wait...I'm okay with that).
So, I wouldn't say that I am jaded or that I am walking around pissed that men are constantly objectifying women. It's just that I too have a fantasy...and, most men aren't it. And, the older I get...the pickier I get. It also takes me a long time to get ready to go out, and I appreciate that other people find me attractive. I wouldn't say it is ALL for my SO...it's also for me. But, sometimes men really eye you like you are meat...and, it gets real f*cking old. It seems like it was even old when I was 13, because I would have been sad if I ran into a less articulate JT.
I do appreciate proper men when I am out on the town. A few guys that are more...suave, I guess...have figured out more of what women really want. So, instead of oogling at us in a corner or saying one word compliments...they actually come up to us and say something polite. I'll give two of my favorite examples of men that have complimented me about my looks, but did not creep me out or get a "go straight to Hell" look. One guy came up to me when I was sitting at the bar with one of my friends and said, "I wanted to let you know that how you are dressed is amazing. My friends and I thought you looked like an actress...you look so different than the other girls here, and they don't hold a candle to you." (He was commenting on the fact that I do a 1940s-vibe thing...but, I'm not sure he knew the decade of style). But, it was one of the sweetest things that a stranger has ever told me...and, I was just so tickled that some random person would say something so sweet to me. Another example is of a guy who desperately wanted to buy me a drink. I kept turning him down and he finally said, "I'm going to be straight with you...I think you are the prettiest girl in here...and, I know you might not want to talk to me again, but I would really like to buy the prettiest girl here a drink." So, I let him buy me a drink.
So, those are my two examples of guys that have really stood out in my mind that have said something that really floored me. Guys rarely do this...so, that's probably why they stand out in my mind. I'm sure the last guy was at least 2 years ago. Quite a few guys come up and try to talk to me, and I really do appreciate it if they aren't being creepy. But, those two guys that I mentioned previously go down in my Suave Hall of Fame. (Whatever that is...I just came up with it, actually).
But, I just get floored when someone says something that is really meaningful. I appreciate when someone says something nice, instead of just looking at me like I am meat. I appreciate it when men find that I am attractive. I'm not *jaded* that it happens so often. It's just that I take a lot of time to look very nice when I go out, and I appreciate it when men take time to string words together to make sentences...instead of just staring at me, or saying something half-assed.
It's not that ATTENTION isn't appreciated...it's just the wrong attention is unappreciated and the right attention is more than appreciated.
It may also be harder for people to understand here, because y'all have always been very polite to me. Whenever me or my SO are complemented, it has been very sweet. So, maybe y'all are just more in-tune with the "right attention." It's very subjective, but it's just my opinion. True compliments are always nice to receive...but, stares and half-assed remarks are just as bad as they sound.
The beauty of your inward self is beyond compare Shan, notwithstanding the beauty of your outward self which ain't bad either my friend. ;):)
I'm very out in the mainstream on a very frequent basis and in almost every situation. I may be in the minority, but I do not want to be noticed differently than any other appropriately dressed woman of my age and body shape/style. I dress to blend in, but that does not mean sloppy or boring. Usually I'm not paying much attention to how others are looking at me especially in safe venues and environments. I've moved past that mainly due to experience and being totally comfortable. The grand majority of the time, I get basically ignored like any other person and that makes me happier than getting positively checked out by some guy. You develop a sense based on experience when attention is beyond the norm. Based on my interactions, women pay more attention since it tends to come up in conversations as comments, questions or compliments about something I may be wearing or buying. Lines at cash registers or for the restrooms seem to be the most popular conversation places. I don't mind the attention, but it has to be genuine and done with the proper intentions and in the proper way.
It may take a while to distinguish it, but, at the risk of making a big generalization, some gay males are sarcastic when giving a MTF trans person a compliment about their appearance. You can read it in their voices and body language or unintentionally overhear other comments, but you have to know what to look for. Sometimes it is quite obvious. I've seen a cross dresser walking on air after an apparent compliment not realizing it was sarcasm, and I did not have the heart to tell them nor was it my place to ruin their high. Have your sarcasm detector on since even a positive comment may not be what it seems to be.
lol... Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks like this :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah