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What category fits you best?
- Transvestic Fetish: You find sexual arousal in items of clothing, but do not fully dress as a woman.
- Crossdresser: You enjoy dressing fully as a woman but are happy with your life as a male.
- Transgender: You feel the desire to live as a woman but also need to live as a man.
- Transsexual: You wish to transition to female and have no desire to live as a male.
Hmmm....this one's actually a toughie. See, I crossdress, but I also find myself on a daily basis thinking often what it would be like to be a woman in this world, to greet each day as a female, and to interact with people as a woman. I think how unfair it is that this gender "gift" has come into my life, and become such a big part of it, all the while being denied the societal right to present as I would really like to, as a woman.
Yet, I have a full life as a man. I am very active, enjoy tools, golf, sports. I have many interests that are primarily male-oriented. That's not to say that there aren't women in the world who hold these same interests, but the truth is that they are things that men are interested in a whole lot more than women are.
So........crossdresser or transgendered....in between? I'd love to live as a woman, but I need to live as a man. There. Transgendered. Wait, I changed my mind again.....oh, whatever.
[SIZE=3]I chose transsexual as i wish i was born a girl. I don't think i'll ever go through with it transitioning though for many reasons. If there is such thing as reincarnation hopefully i'll get lucky next time.[/SIZE] :D
It took me a while to firgure it out.. but in the end I love to be fully dressed, but love my life as is.
Most definitely a crossdresser.
I'm heterosexual, I love women, and I'm happy being Andy.
I also love wearing womens' clothing and trying (with varying degrees of success) to create a feminine appearance.
When I'm in drag I'm happy being Angela.
I can't remember not feeling this way.
And I can't imagine not feeling like this.
Love Angela XX
(And a kiss from Andy as well even though I'm wearing a blouse and skirt!)
My outlook had changed over the years as I have goyyen better at dressing and make-up. Also have had an ongoing brain change as things I would have not considered applicable to me now seem perfectlY normaL. It started out as as a fetish, using just nylons and hees and panties. Then I became a crossdresser as I used cosmetics, a bra with breast forms, full clothing, jewelry, perfume, nail polidh and a ewig. At that time I would have considered myself a crossdresser. After a while i started I started using toys and fantasies to simulate sexual situations, and lastly, my present state transgender. When dressed I fully consider myself feminine and want everything a woman can do and feel. Going out, entertaining, being the best woman I can be. I think it is too late for transexual now. If I were younger and knowing what I do know - both in attitude, experience, mind set and what is available out there in the world I would definitely be transgender. I would love and enjoy living full time as a woman.
Dawn
Interestingly no fetishists out there. I guess they would find little use in a forum like ours. It would be interesting to also correlate this with age and also freedom of expression. I believe the freer we are to explore our TG side the more we are drawn into it and develop stronger emotional ties with our better half.
I think we are here just quieter in this forum.. :rolleyes:
Intrigued by the full extent of the the spectrum.
I do not dress to be a woman, but to enjoy the looks and feel of the fabric of women's clothes. Ijust think it is wrong that society thinks it's OK that women can wear anything, and men cannot. My wife loves me and accepts everything about me. Putting on a dress, nylons,pumps, and lots of jewelry is fun and very relaxing, very very relaxing!!! I dress with good fashion sense, and look good as a man in a dress. I hope someday I can go to the store in a nice long, comfy skirt and sandels with pink toe nails. Didn't realize I wasn't a crossdresser. Never heard of the fetish category. Let me know what you girls think, Mellisa
I used to think of myself as a cross dresser, but over the years the more i dress the more i long to be sophie all the time, so i guess this makes me a transsexual, im even starting talking to the doctor about this issue.
I couldn't have put my feelings down better Marla.Quote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
Gemma xx
It is quite a tough question this as the others have already said.
After my thought I have voted as a cross dresser...though bordering on transgender!
Hi everyone,
I'm happily a "Crossdresser", am glad I'm a male and I love women. I wouldn't want to be a gg except as a temporary thing just to really see and feel what being a woman is all about. :p :p As if we will ever know what they're all about.
I love getting fully dressed whenever the opportunity arises, even if only for an hour or two.
Love, Cathy
I'm just a cross dresser, who loves women's clothes more than man's! Yes I waer a long wig at home and out side even at work. I'm not gay, never had a man in bed never been looking for one! May be the next time I come bacit will be as a wonderful woman.........Please God!!
I voted, "I don't know"
The closest label that fits my lifestyle would be "Travesti". I have known a few Travestis and they seem to have similar traits to me.
i voted i don't know...see i soooooooo know that i have this huge fem side (supprized??) and i got this "him" side, one thing veary clear to me is it is true that i love being wendy (it's realy me) but somehow that "him" side dose fit in now .. see i spent so much time just trying to hide my fem side that i grew to hate the "him" side. then i spent so much time loveing my fem side once i let her out . at one time i thought that the only way to be happy was to just get rid of "him", that caused so much conflict that i thought ok the best thing i can do is get rid of my fem side ...i mean what was i ?? was i a cd? was i a tg?? was i a tv?? or could i be a ts?? all too confuseing for me....
perhaps i was just a freak....after a long time of trying to find the right lable something that i could fit in right .. could i be totaly happy just being "him"? no way. would i be happy just being her?? who knows ...maybe icould maybe i would not be... then when i decided that i was not happy with any of them lables i thought why not just be me??? omg that simple just be me so thats what i am me and that makes me happy....dose that sound right????
I am a crossdresser I like dressing as a woman and wearing different outfits there is no way that I would pass but I try to give it my best shot.
For the most part I also am happy in my male body I don't like the turmoil that my dressing has caused but you have to live with the good and the bad nothing in life is fair or easy.
Based on the definitions provided, I suppose that I would have to say that I'm a "Crossdresser" because I definitely enjoy fully dressing up like a woman on a more or less regular basis but I have no desire to LIVE as a woman (part-time or full-time) or actually become a woman (SRS). However, I also define myself as "Transgendered" because, psychologically, I don't consider myself to be male or female. Also, I define myself as "Transgendered" to express solidarity, both socially and politically, with other individuals like myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie
That was a tough choice. Earlier in life I would have easily picked crossdresser but as I get older and more comfortable with it I have an increasing desire to spend as much time as possible as a woman.
I chose transgender.
Hugs
je ne sais pa
I'm somewhere between TF & CD, I think. I do go so far as to wear a full ensemble, but I never try to pass or go out dressed as a woman. However, I do sometimes fantasise about being female, but that's a purely sexual thing. In everyday life, I'm completely happy to be male.
This was a hard question, but a good one. I had to think about my overall life and right now, I am still happy to live as a man. That does not mean that I have not wondered what it would be like to live as a GG. The woman inside me is still emerging and becoming her own "persona".
So what am I? A crossderesser or transgendered? I vote Crossdresser, but I am probally both right now.
Andi
I voted transgender, it's the closest to how I feel about myself. However I don't feel the "need" to be man, it's more like I have resigned myself to being one because at my age it's a little late to start life over and try to make a living as a woman but mostly because I have a wonderful partner that I would probably loose. I'm not obsessed with the thought of transitioning so I am definitely not TS.
transsexual is now I would name myself
i am a crossdresser.but #1 is apart of me and# 3 is apart of me also.
I voted for Crossdresser. Cause most of the time I am dressed as a male. Every now and then I love to dress up and think of being beautiful. One day I would love to try being a woman for a day. But dont think thats going to happen. Angie
Crossdresser... I think it sounds the nicest. :)
But I'm verging on transgender now, (since I have a bigger wardrobe the urge has gotten bigger to live as a woman.)
xx
Hi Julie ~
A fairly easy question but a complicated answer.
Since my youth I always thought I was born the wrong gender. At puberty, the emotional and physical changes were so great, I became convinced I was TS, and I still feel that way.
To survive in the world and to please everyone else, I had to be TG and have lived most of my life that way.
Over a period of time I went the rounds of counselors, therapists and an endocrinologist. They all concurred that I was TS. I could start HRT whenever I choose. I still see a therapist on occasion when I need to talk to someone who understands me.
Here's where it gets complicated. I live about 85% of my life as female. But there is about 15%, I can't shake. I still have to be male to deal with some of life's issues. For example: my young grandkids love and idolize their 'pa', I can't traumatize them; frequent treatments at the hospital; times like jury duty, etc. But still in my heart, mind, soul and body I still feel I am TS, as much as I did when I was 12. Its like being in 'limbo', but I had to vote TS.
I hope this all makes some kind of sense.
Hugs ~ Kim
Hi! I'm new here.
I'm TS. Some doubt about that, I guess. If I had known more about this when I was in my 20s, I probably would have transitioned then.
Wow what a wonderfully biased poll.
"So are you a sicko pervert?......Or a nice girl who NEVER gets excited dressing fully as a woman?....(Oooh or EVEN better)....Transgendered?!!!"
Thanks Julie. Thanks a bundle. I feel so s**t about myself now I am going right back in the closet I came out of a year ago. Well done. Brilliant job.
:thumbsdn: .
(What's the definition of "crossdresser" anyone?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie York
I am a nice girl who never gets excited when dressed,, it is the men that I am with that get excited when I am dressed.
Julie, please don't go back to the closet, I need you here, I need to hear your words.
Please
Amelie
xxx
Inside I'm a confused mess struggling to find my identity! I'm just starting to try and unmuddle these thoughts and emotions that I've fought against for so long, and I'm lost. I know my family, friends, and colleagues would probably be shocked if they could see what a facade the happy-go-lucky male persona I project really is, or read this.
I would love to be female, and that desire has never been for kicks (I would never have understood or felt that as a child anyway when I started to become aware of this conflict of mind and body). I always felt angry and frustrated that nature was cruel giving me this damn body, even as a child. Why did this have to happen to me? Now I get depressed by what I look like as an adult: 6' 6", massive hands and feet and this horrible voice - I look like a freak as a man, and doubly so when en femme! There's no way with any amount of surgery or drugs that I could ever be accepted as female. It would be unbearably soul destroying to be lost in some sort of social purgatory like that. I just can't imagine that desire ever being more than a wishful dream. So, here I am: reaching out into the unknown, trying to find some guidance, some way to contentment, but not really knowing what that is or how to get there. :confused:
OMG, I feel depressed now!
Sorry!
I'm with Marla on this one,Quote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
I voted 'crossdresser' because that is what I do. I have a feminine being inside me and would love to live the rest of my life as a woman. However, I am a man and do enjoy doing masculine things. I would give it up in a minute if I could suddenly become a woman though but that's not likely to happen. So what am I really?
Bonnie
Oh, Julie Julie Julie... Come along.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie York
The word 'fetish' is not an insult, it implies no value judgement, either positive or negative. It's semantically neutral. I mean! Really, it's just a description, now idnit?
I reread Julie's post stem-to-stern, and for the life of me, I couldn't find the words 'sicko', 'pervert' or 'nice' anywhere in it! You're seeing some kind of value judgement there that the rest of us seem to have missed... :eek:
Julie meant no insult or judgement - that would be wildly out of character for her, which makes it extremely unlikely; so dontcha think you might be being just the weeest bit oversensitive... hmm? :itsok: Oversensitivity is an occupational hazard for us CDs; happens to a lot of us, yrs trly included... :o
Julie, you're one of the funniest, clever people I know on here - I need your wit! I don't care what you do whilst dressed... please stay :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie York
xxxxxxx
Julie,
Nice question. Very provocative. I'd have to vote Transgendered. I started late in life and soon realized that I had a certain affinity(?) for expressing my female self. I can't even consider SRS as my wife would never go for it, and honestly I don't think I would want to do it. I'm borderline passable, from a distance, so I do enjoy going out enfemme from time to time, so that will have to do. My wife knows and supports, but I suspect that deep down she'd be just as happy if I never found this part of me.....but she does play with me, shop, dress, make up etc. In fact we have a big new years eve party planned so I guess I'm happy right where I am, happy and transgendered....
Gosh, that is a tough one. Like everyone else, it's a toss up. 1 and 2. I love to dress, but still need to be a male, but, always the but, I'd long to be able to go out into the world every now and then as a women.
Quote:
1. Transvestic Fetish: You find sexual arousal in items of clothing, but do not fully dress as a woman.
2. Crossdresser: You enjoy dressing fully as a woman but are happy with your life as a male.
3. Transgender: You feel the desire to live as a woman but also need to live as a man.
4. Transsexual: You wish to transition to female and have no desire to live as a male.
I have to agree that there is a problem with the way this poll is constructed, because it seems to suggest that partial crossdressers are the only ones who get sexual gratification from dressing, and conversely, that those who dress fully en femme are not sexually motivated at all. What about the crossdressers, transgenderists, and yes even transsexuals, who feel sexy when dressed, at least some of the time? Why make sexuality part of the “transvestic fetish” category while conspicuously dissociating it from the others? It is obvious, to me anyway, that there is an implicit value judgment being made here. The subtext of perversion didn’t have to be spelled out in a culture where sex—even “normal” sex--is still a source of shame, and where sexual fetishes are by definition “deviant.” Crossdressers know they aren’t supposed to be turned on by putting on a pair of stockings. They have been conditioned from a very early age to hide the pleasure they get from dressing because it is wrong. So it’s no big surprise that not many members here are going to stand up and admit to being fetishists.
Obviously, the TG spectrum includes some individuals who crossdress for sexual reasons only, some who do so for nonsexual reasons only, and a great many who dress for both sexual pleasure and gender expression. The idea that crossdressing has nothing at all to do with sex is a myth, and I believe it hurts the members of our community more than it helps them. True, it is a myth perpetuated with the best of intentions by organizations whose goal is to make crossdressing seem less sleazy in the eyes of the general public, but at what cost? If you are a crossdresser who gets aroused by wearing women’s clothes, yet the mainstream literature tells you that crossdressing is not about sex, how are you going to feel? Ashamed at being told once again that you are “abnormal”? Confused because the propaganda you are being fed does not match your own experience?
I’ll tell you how wives and girlfriends feel. In the eight years or so that I’ve been involved in the online crossdressing community, I’ve spoken with plenty of genetic women who are in relationships with crossdressers, and guess what? Most of them know that their men get a sexual kick out of dressing. It isn’t that hard to figure out! But when they go looking for information and support from the major gender organizations, they are told that they are wrong, that crossdressers only want to get in touch with their feminine side and “express the woman within.” Uhuh. So why is it, they ask, that my husband gets excited when he puts on a pair of panties? Why does he spend hours reading fictionmania stories and surfing those websites that I am not supposed to know about? Why is it that he avoids being intimate with me and prefers to dress up and satisfy himself in private when I go out? “Well,” they are told by the gender authorities, “your husband must be one of those fetishistic transvestites. Not one of us.” So they join a women’s support group and talk to some other SOs about their private lives…and come to find out….nearly everyone seems to be married to a fetishistic transvestite! And that is when they start to get angry, because they realize they have been sold a bill of goods designed to make crossdressing more palatable, when in fact what they would have appreciated was a little honesty.
I don’t think that denying the erotic component of crossdressing helps anyone. Instead of trying to pretend it doesn’t exist, shouldn’t we really be working to destigmatize it? There is nothing sick or perverted about finding sexual pleasure in wearing women’s clothes and feeling feminine, but that message will fall on deaf ears as long as we stubbornly insist that sex is sex and crossdressing is crossdressing and never the twain shall meet.
But i have no idea how to classify myself.
Some days i'm happy just to dress now and then and live as a guy the rest of the time but other days i hate being male and don't even want to get out of bed like it.:confused:
I don't know Julie i don't think you can classify people we're all so different.
The closest category for me is "Transgender", but I really feel that a better description would be "Bi-Gender". The greatest role I play in my life is father and husband. Additionally, I have many strong male traits and just generally enjoy being male.
On the other side, I am not afraid to embrace my feminine traits and enjoy being female whenever I have the chance. The reality is that I could easily switch back and forth throughout the week and be perfectly happy. Mostly, I don't think about the labels and just enjoy being me.
Cheers,
Jocelyn
Wow Marla(GG), that was some post. I really liked what you said and you said it so well.
Thanks for those thoughts, they are needed.
Amelie
xxx
Ooh!...Nice one Marla!:thumbsup:
Like Marla said, which is why I couldn't respond to the poll.
most of the time i feel im straight,but love to dress ,when im dressed then i start to think im tv its what a girl would think and do then back to man mode im strait its a tide thing now i think im JUST a cd (thats lonely)and thinks too much.....erica
:eek: <-- at Marla.
*Standing Ovation*
Woah... Couldn't have said it better myself. Yeh, I get turned on... after that post, I'd be the first to admit it.
Yet again, brought down to earth, thanks to the help of the GG community here. :D
Thanks Marla - appreciated. xx
My name says it all
I am a crossdresser, i love all things to do women's clothes but i still like being a man at times.
I think Marla GG said it right. I conducted a brief poll here titled "is it sexual?" resultshttp://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17369,is the thread with the results. I was referred to a site called Yvonnes Place, that conducted a more in depth poll, and guess what, on both polls, the NEVER FOR SEXUAL PLEASURE group was a lot smaller than you would be lead to believe reading most CD literature.
I agree with Marla, we need to quit categorizing ourselves. How can we ever hope others will, if even among oursleves, we lump ourselves or others into some group. I know that for me it is very easy to try an categorize myself, to see if I am NORMAL. But the more that I read and learn, we are are abnormal, and I am not talking speciffically about us TV, CD, TG, TS folks. Humans are abnormal. PERIOD. We are so worried about ourselves and our own little set of "abnormalities", that we try to find others to make examples of - I am THIS, but at least I am not THAT!
As I mentioned in the results poll thread, I started to educate myself for my own acceptance, and kept reading that I was not a Normal CD, cuz yes, there is a sexual, sensual nature involved as well as the "getting in touch" side to my personality. I doubt that I could ever have a sensual, sexual encounter without it striking a chord to my femme side. I don't think I'd want to either, its who I am. I felt rejected by society in general, but then started to feel rejected by the wonderful people who happen to be TV, CD, TG, TS, because I can admit that there is this sexual side to my CDing. Why lie about it to myself? I am trying to understand and accept myself.
I understand that society probably wouldn't be as excepting as they are today of anyone with "abnormal" lifestyles, if the pioneers didn't take every but of sex that they could out of the mix. But we have to be careful not to alienate people who come here for support, and understanding, cuz we all can wink and nod at each other about the sex stuff, knowing about all the other polls and posts we've read here and elsewhere. I know I certainly have recieved offers to meet others for +?
I am not trying to Pi## anyone off here. If you don't feel the way I do, thats OK. Just stating my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions right? (They are just liks A$$^&*%$, everyone has one).:D
Personally, for me, It started in about 7 or 8 years old, too young for a sexual reason. No doubt during adolecense, there was definatley a sexual overtone. Now, once I have gotten past that, as I suspect many of us have, I have found there is so much more about this than sex. My therapist said that fetishes are a mask we put up because we don't want others to see whats really going on. I think there is alot of truth to that statement. What else could be going on behind the mask? HMMMM, I don't know, maybe feminine feelings and expressions, maybe "abnormal" sexuality?
Any way, I guess I have a little of every classification on this poll. Yes I do at times enjoy being a male, and at times I enjoy comming as close as I can to a female, and would love a way to switch back and forth and be fully either whenever I wanted. I don't think I ever will be 100% male or female. Maybe I need a new category all my own. Gender Interchanger?
WOW this was a long response! Sorry if I upset anyone, wasn't my intention!:) :) :)
Like many others I would of answered CD many years ago, but as I have gotten older and have more of an understanding of myself I now answer TG.
i am mostly crossdresser,i can pry pass,but haven't gone out yet.transgendered has been strong at times and weak at times.maybe one of these days i will transgender,but for now i will try to stick to CD.
michelle19845