Have you found females that are accepting? I am so afraid I will die alone and lonely.
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Have you found females that are accepting? I am so afraid I will die alone and lonely.
Mainly only a few, and they are married! There simply are not that many who would want to marry a man who dresses in womens clothes. They may like us as nice friends, but, lifetime commitment is another thing. They are very rare, about as rare as Dodo birds. The lonliness sucks, alright. I am 58, never married, and getting to the point, where i realistically don't see myself married, in this life. It is not impossible to find a lady who accepts dressing, but, not that easy to find her.
Stephanie, I have been very fortunate to have been married to two women that accepted my crossdressing. My first accepting wife died after 20 good years together. My second wife and I were together for almost 19 years. Divorced for reasons not related to crossdressing at all. Today, she is still a friend. My present SO is also very accepting and it's never been an issue.
When I see posts like yours, it makes me wonder..... What's more important to you, the dressing or sharing love with a partner? For me, it's always been more important to have an SO or wife in my life. Once I'd meet someone and can see that the chemistry is right and the relationship is headed for long term or marriage, then and only then worry about her accepting only after the compatibility and a chance for long lasting love is a real possibility. I think those that make the focus on finding an accepting woman are shooting themselves in the foot. Focus o finding love first, then worry about the private things about yourself that you will want to share with her, just as she is at that stage to share private things about herself and past.
it's true, the average woman does not want a man in a dress as pointed out above, but once trust and respect is in place along with her having strong feelings for you, many women can adjust and learn to accept it. I have about a dozen GG friends that know my fem side. With only a few exceptions, each one said that if they found out a guy they loved was a CD, they could learn to accept it.
I know you asked for singles to respond, but I don't understand how a single person can give you a clue about how to find an accepting GG. So I thought I'd add my 2 cents.
I think that most women would rather not have their husband CD, but I have met some that didn't care. My wife has known since a couple of weeks after starting to date. She would rather I didn't but accepts most things. I think most women want certain things in the guy they marry, but it never crosses their minds about having a guy that wears and dresses in the same things they do.
Some depends on your attitude about CDing and women. I've always been able to make friends with girls/women. I met girls while shopping in women's stores and asked them out and have dated a few. Some relationships continued longer than others. A couple probably went away because of my CDing, but others were very comfortable with it.
It is possible to find women who don't mind and there are women who fully like it. You just have to find them. I've traveled and met a lot of people over the years and dated a lot of girls before I met my wife. Maybe you aren't meeting enough women. If only 1 in 100 women would find your CDing acceptable then you need to do a lot of finding to find her.
Like Brandy, I am also not "single!" I am a Widower, who was married for almost 50 years to a lovely lady who totally accepted my crossdressing. I told her that I was a crossdresser when I proposed to her! She not only accepted me "as is," but set it up so that we both wore matching white silk lingerie to our wedding. BTW, I totally agree with the last paragraph of Brandy's email. One of us who either has been or is married to an accepting woman is much better able to give you the proper clues as to how to find one!
There are certainly many other women out there who accept crossdressing! I found another one purely by accident just months after my wife died. Unfortunately for me she is married and lives in another country. But we are still friends and I have been to her house and she and her husband have been to mine
Im 38, single and have been crossdressing since I was a kid. The one long-term relationship (5 years) I have had I didnt tell her in fear she would not understand. We eventually split for other reasons. I have been dating a wonderful lady for about 4 months now and I know if it is to progress I will have to tell her about my crossdressing. The problem I have is at what point you inform your SO about your crossdressing. In the beginning dating stage or when and if love blossoms do you tell her then. I personally believe that your true love will accept you and your crossdressing. Its just about finding that one and falling in love.
Hi Stephanie. I have opened up to one woman who is married but has turned out to be a very good friend indeed, and supportive. I haven't disclosed this side of me to anyone else....time will tell how I handle that situation! I'm not too concerned tho. If I meet someone who is accepting, then great, if not, who cares. I can still be happy. :)
I recently came out to one female friend, who is very important to me, and she could not have been ]more accepting! We are not yet, in a relationship, but that is because of issues she is working thru completely unrelated to my CD. If anything, the level of trust and honesty i have shown in coming out, has strengthened our friendship, and it has boosted her trust of me, which in turn has allowed her to open up more about her own issues.
These women are out there, keep looking! Don't give up!
I've been alone for the past twenty five years! Guess I was born to be a loner!
i think its important to establish chemistry first with the person. i think to tell them before dating would be unwise, but to tell them before marriage is not taking their feelings into account.
Two days ago I told everything, which is quite a lot from dressing en femme, former male lovers, taste in clothes, to my fast fire romance of four months. Long story short: She is awesome, going shopping, shes doing my makeup this week, she knows me and chooses to be with me. Being honest was the best thing I could have done. I was picky in looking. Look for someone that fits you. Get to know each other. Tell her everything when the time is right and you will never have to hide it again. If she runs... Well there is one out there. Go find her.
And why would we want an average girl anyway?? When we are not exactly cookie cut men ourselves.
exactly!!! glad you found your someone! i know what your feeling! having someone you are in a relationship not run away screaming after you tell them such a huge secret is one of the most rewarding feelings of my entire life!Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Informed
Hi,
There is another way to see this , why do you have to have some one who you wont to marry. you can have afriend who would just be happy liveing with you with out being tied to each other,
You know there are people out there who would be quite willing to be a friend live as friends under the same roof share costs & do things together, & yet maintain your own friends, or groups .
I have family & very tied to them & i wont to be yet Jos & i live apart for now anyways,
Yes i could have some one come live with me & i have had a guy & his friend in thier own caravans on our section for quite some time i wont go in to details just i was helping them out,
Im quite happy by my self & im not saying i dont miss Jos being with me , we still do things together as we have done for 37 years, its ( just a time out ) for now its we dont need .....two .....women in the same kitchen , its cool,
any way thats us,
...noeleena...
Haven't found anyone willing to accept that part of me, so I just quit looking. It does get lonely at times but on the plus side I can do it whenever I want to, don't have to hide my feminine attire and makeup. I keep my body hair free, just wish I had the will power to lose some weight and the confidence to go out shopping as a woman.
Actually, recently, i have come out to three women. One is married, and works at a bank i go to, and acceppts. One, i told several years ago, and lives 2000 miles away, does not accept it, but tolerates. The other, an 80 year old lady, i rented a room with, that was in the same church, also 2000 miles away. I told her on the phone that i put ona dress once in a while, and she laughed! I sent her about 50 photos last week. I agree with some of you, that after friendship and chemistry, it should be ok, to tell them, and after bonding, and chemistry, and respect, there is a better chance they will accept your honesty, and truthfulness , and be more likely to accept, or at least tolerate cding. I am sorry i made it sound imposssible.
Some guys feel they have to be with someone and I never really understood that concept.
I have been married twice and it was nice for the most part but I'm glad both ended.Neither knew about my femme side.
I love to be free to do whatever I want when I want.I do have a GF and she loves my femme side, we give each other space which is nice.
My marriages were too confining to be honest always had to do what they wanted or suffer the consequences.
Both were very jealous types and that just makes it worse.
I am out to 5 women I know and they all are fine with it and encourage me to just me myself.Dated 3 of them as well.
I told one girlfriend. We broke up shortly after but remained friends, and she me gives all the girly advice I can handle!
Never give up hope ever. It dosn't matter your age yes i am young but i feel old....sometimes lol But you never knwo whats round the corner right? Get out there girl! Social network sites are great, of course be cautious and wary you'll never know what you might find. I am currently in a relationship with a very accepting girl and we met on a social network site and i've had quite a number of girls on there messaging me saying how they find CDs sexy and want to continue talking blah blah i don't indulge as i am very happy with my Goddess. You just gotta get out there, be yourself and hope for the best :)
Pretty much sums it up for me If it wasn't for this site I doubt I would have ever come out totally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess_Andria
I joined here scared to death thinking of all the ridicule I would receive.
Found a sweet bunch of people JUST like me.I am so thankful for this place.
Wasn't looking for a GF/BF at all and my wonderful GF just came out of nowhere, found her on FB so social networking is pretty cool.
I have not found one female who accepts my lifestyle in so far as a possible mate, but many women who I associate with are most accepting & loving. In general women are more accepting, at least that has been my experience.
My sentiments exactly. I would be at a loss right now if it were not for the support of so many of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
One thing I've learned about supportive females is that it's a different story when you are married. My wife seemed okay with men cross dressing until she found out that HER man was cross dressing. Then she came unglued. There is something about the marriage relationship that makes things different. Watching other men cross dress didn't threaten her security, but seeing her husband dressed up DID!. Even though her security was never in jeopardy, it was to much for her to take. The lesson here is that supportive girlfriends are not the same as supportive wives.
Couldn't it also partially be that she doesn't think she truely knows you, or that she was tricked into marrying you? she probably feels betrayed that she wasn't told before she married you. but i agree i am so blessed with this forum! i like the fact that i am not harassed by trolls and creepy requests for sex. its just us all talking, venting our emotions and kidding around. adore this place =)Quote:
Originally Posted by StephanieJ
i do admit, its very tough finding a accepting lady. I've put my name on singles sites and been upfront about my crossdressing, and have'nt had much luck at all.
I've had a accepting older lady freind for 7 years, but nothings ever happaned sexually.
I do get lonely though at times. I think the loneliness stemmed my bisexuality years ago too. I have a CD freind who has been having a casual relationship with me, in the last 12 mths, but we leave it as just that. Nothing less, nothing more. We are intimate, and he sleeps over at times, but theres no strings attached so to say.
I do hope oneday I find someone. Inside, I feel i'm straight, but the loneliness has made me stray outside those boundaries. But I've never regretted anything.
My last 2 girlfriends were accepting of my crossdressing. Matter of fact I met my last girlfriend on a crossdresser forum, much like this one.. When we started talking on the computer, she was in a rtelationship with a CD, but they broke up, and we started talking more and more til we were dating.
Neither of them were my type phisically, but they were mentally.
If it weren't for other circumstances getting in the way, I beleive I'd still be with either of them.
CD.com is the best of all the CD sites IMO.
The others I have been a part of were trollish and that was not what I was needing at the time. Found this site by accident and I sure am glad I joined.
I was freaked out by all the sex chatter on some sites and it just about had me thinking there was something wrong with me.
You are correct honesty is always the best policy. However therein lies the dilemma. Do you get all attached and then come out to your SO or do you tell them before the relationship goes to far. I told my wife about it a couple months into our marriage and she was accepting... for a while, then changed her mind. We both came away feeling deceived and cheated. I often ask myself - Would have been better to have told her up front and not get married in the first place? No, because there was so much other good stuff about our relationship. Much like Garth Brooks song - "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."Quote:
Originally Posted by smellymelly
In my opinion..... I will repeat that because this is probably going to make someone angry, In my opinion...
It is difficult sexually for a female with strong feminine energy to be attracted to a male who also has a strong feminine energy so it is not your crossdressing they are rejecting but your energy represented by the crossdressing because of how it affects them sexually (attraction)
Think of it like two magnets where depending on what end of the magnet is trying to touch the other magnet they will attract or repel. It is nothing personal but only
the expression of who they are (their energy)
You see this energy expressed in all sexual relationships, top/bottom, butch/femmme, bi (movement between both energies), heterosexual,ect..
Sexual energy is shaped by the energy of your soul which you were born with and could be called personality or temperament but is more than that.
This is the paradox for feminine men who wish to attract or are attracted to a feminine female.
I have never experienced problems with attracting women because I only move toward those whose energy is opposite mine even though I am not moving toward them but creating the circumstances where they become aware of me so move toward me as their energy would dictate.
They engage me first in contact through their behavior which has many ways of being expressed but always with the same purpose even though the destination
is not necessarily known for either of us because it often must be learned in time.
I'm not manipulating them to do this but accepting both our natural energies.
If you use the methods a man with masculine energy would use than you will be acting contrary to your natural powers (energy) so will be acting (playing a role as a performance using trickery) instead of being what you are.
Think of water as a form of feminine energy, it flows around and even when it resists it does this by also changing shape so is very hard but soft depending on the force it encounters.
Feminine energy dominates by not dominating so appears paradoxical because it is the opposite of how it appears and it is at its strongest when appearing weak. This has nothing to do with biological sex!
Like water, move out into the world without any particular objective and emerse yourself without any other reason than just being in the moment.
Hobbies,schooling,associations,volunteer,ect, anything that brings you into contact with others but only because you have a genuine interest in the activity and or pursuit.
Let go of your need to aquire and instead replace it with the desire to experience without any wants attached other than what the experience will bring.(be curious)
In my opinion (even though this will sound very controversial) it is not the crossdressing that is causing problems but the failure to recognized,understand and utilize your natural feminine energies to attract a female with complementary but opposite energy so even if you did not crossdress you would still have problems.
Just as a male with feminine energy is in the minority so is a female with masculine energy so you will have to use numbers to your advantage and go out into and emerse yourself in a sea of humanity to find your complement.
Introversion and passivity are your enemy if you submit completely to them but you can keep this quiet energy and stay true to yourself while being a part of the great
spectacle called life, you must join in but you decide how to stay true to your essence.
No one who is lonely wants to be alone and most of the world is lonely so the world is filled with people all having the same problem because the problem is created by
not doing anything about it.
When we cure our lonliness we also cure anothers but we must also let go of the cure by knowing the cure is available at anytime so we do not use others from a
hunger born of passivity that feelings of worthlessness bring about.
Feminine energy in a male because of societies sick values creates feelings of worthlessness that must be challenged.
i love that song first off. i see the problem with it. i told my lady after about 6 months of dating. and its been an up and down experience. but we are still going strong 5 years later. i just didn't want her to feel decieved. i think honestly i've just gotten luckyQuote:
Originally Posted by StephanieJ
Hell they gotta a bunch of GGs on here ,,,This very site ,,So ya better look around Sissta ,,There right here among us as we speak,,, Talk ya one up ,,Might have to move or make a few changes ,,But what the hell ,,,Ya only live once ,, Grab ya one of these Hot Babes ,,,You know what they LIKE !!!
I'm going to go against the usual advice given on this forum. Or at least I'm going to make an observation based on all the postings I have read over the years. You actually have a better chance of staying married to a woman who finds out your secret than getting a woman who knows of your cross dressing to marry you. The vast majority of women really do not want to enter a relationship with a guy who wears a dress. Tell a girl after a month that you're a cross dresser? I am not advocating keeping a secret, but, it does seem after a woman has endured many years with a guy, she realizes there is much more to him than wearing a dress. It may be a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage, but, many survive. Frankly, after many years of marriage I do not buy into the argument a woman's issue is deceit and keeping secrets. She just does not like cross dressing. She fears society's reactions, if the secret is known. Now, I don't blame her, but that's my personal opinion.
As with the above post I was in secret for about two years then told my wife. She was accepting and is. Coming into accepting more and mor all the time. I. Did ask if she wouldve still gone out had. I told her at first and she said she wasn't sure but thought she would've been ok with it
I 've read all the other responses,I can't agree or disagree with them because they are thier life stories,so mine is that I have 2 very close GG's or shall I say women that I found while in my male role and to this day I can't remember how I told of my femme self.I have always been single and maybe one close call to marrage but I know I will always be single but never alone,after these 58 yrs. I don't believe I could make a good mate I'm too set in my ways.I have found that if you go looking for friendship not love you do not need to hide your CDing it will somehow surface in due time and if it's meant to be it will,just don"t dwell on the negative lifes to short ,enjoy being yourself and others will also.I hope I answered your question.Well bye-bye for now Lisa.
I have been divorced now for 7 yrs, My X did not like me to dress, so all of my life I have had to hide the fact, now that I am single I dress in fem ALL the time at home. and underdress the rest of the time. But NO I have not found anyone to share my lifestyle with. I am to much of a coward to divulge the fact that I CD. But I have not dated since my divorce in 05 either. It is a lonely life that I have chosen and at times that I Hate my life, but I guess I will get over it! For the record this is the only site that I visit
Yes, I know some girls who are perfectly fine with my crossdressing.
I read the posts that advocate not telling, until various times later in the relationship. I understand where you are coming from, but it's not a course I feel comfortable with. In my case, although not in a physical relationship yet, we are moving closer each day. Because of the way we met, and issues she is working through, the whole thing has been based on a very honest and clear commucations. Almost clinical at times. Given that, and her intelligence and perceptiveness, I think trying to keep it from her would have been a non-starter. I didn't want to anyway, What we are building is something very special, if it works with her knowing everything, great, if she couldn't stand having her guy wearing panties, well, that's life. As it happens, it doesn't even seem to enter the equation as far as she is concerned. i feel very fortunate to have met her, whether or not we can make a go of it. :daydreaming:
I am getting a divorce now so I am not dating until it is complete. But when I do I think whoever I date will find out whenever we first have sex because I always wear panties under my male clothes and she will see that and when she does her reaction will determine if we go any further. If she accepts it we will discuss more and if she is into it cool if not she will just figure I am kinky. I will keep on looking for the one who is accepting and even into it.
mm I hope I can find a women because I like crossdressing and anime...also kinky stuff. But everyone who knows me accepts who I am. At work and my online and real friends.