Why do you really?

Okay, so we are crossdressers, that much is a "given", but why do many of us go to such great pains to emulate a woman by going the whole nine yards and getting dolled up to the "nines"? I'm sure the answers to this question will be various and sundry. If you do some true introspection though, the motivations may surprise you. I do it mostly for myself and since to me it's an art form, I do the best job I can. I did have to admit to myself on thinking about it, however, that I do like to be noticed, even if in a subtle way by onlookers(both men and women). How do you all see it?:)

I'm not emulating anybody. I am simply me.

Well my goal is to look as much like a woman as I can. I have always been a girl on the inside and after so many years of looking like a guy I really enjoy when I can look feminine for a change. I would be that way all the time if I could. I just feel complete when I look into a mirror and see a lady staring back.

I don't present, but I do like to dress up as much as possible. I know I look pretty silly in the mirror, but inside I feel pretty and feminine.

When i started a year ago I had no intention of going full en femme, and was only dressing because it felt satisfying. As i went on, I found that there was something in me that wanted to be seen, by me. Now I know I dress because it is me, and that part of me has her look. Her look must be as different from him as is possible, so i dress to the nines to satisfy her. As time progresses she is more and more satisfied with the more normal female attire and minimal enhancements.

Barbara

I agree with "almostalady" & "Barbara" I don,t emulate anybody, I do it for myself and only to satisfy myself. But wish I could dress all the time.

I am going to try and find some references for this, but I don't think it's an effort to "look feminine" more so than it's an effort to align with what seemingly is a more natural state of being.

Out there in nature, there are things that are "attractive" and there are things that are attracted. For example, flowers compete for the attention of bees because the bees are life for flowers. Without the bees, the flowers couldn't live. So they somehow have adapted so the prettiest, most pollen-laden flowers get all of the attention.

Some of us have been thrown into this simulation as bees, but we really wish we were flowers for whatever the reason. Some of us only want to know what it's like to be flowers for a little while and some want to always be a flower.

Extending the metaphor, I don't feel like I am trying to be a woman so much as I a have some need to attract. The makeup, the hair, the perfume (oh, the perfume) etc. all are cultural extensions of attraction at least here in the western world.

Plus each time we add a little more to the experience, we're getting closer to that state even if it's temporary.

Biologically, I am sure adding new things enhances a dopamine or serotonin releases in our brains triggering the sense of calm and pleasure we derive from the process as well. After all, putting on eye makeup (for example) was so exciting and new the first time.

It doesn't bring the same sense of excitement it used to so at some level, I think we add on to that...now eye makeup and plucked brows, or false lashes or whatever to extend the "reward" in the brain.

Ultimately, the "reward" is a state of natural fulfillment for me. Others may have different experiences but I think that's the reason.

After all, life expands and grows until nature pushes back. I think it's 100% natural to grow the female inside as long as conditions are favorable for growth!

Meghan

I guess, to be honest, I like the idea that I might be someone that could be lusted after. It's a feeling I haven't had in drab in a very long time.:sad:

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Originally Posted by clayfish

I'm not emulating anybody. I am simply me.

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Not me ,,I emulate Tracy G ,,, She is my Heroin ,,, See I didn't say Hero,,,,, Im getting there to ,,,, Ask her ,,,LOL,,,

My answers is and always will be... "I have no idea why" and don't care either..... just something I'm driven to do...... if I had my choice I wouldn't do it..... but I just have to......... plain and simple....

Just because. I don't look fem and never will. Like I've said before.... I want to "touch my fem side"

I do it for the wonderful feeling of calm that comes when I am dressed. I just feel right when I am wearing female clothes. I cannot explain it and quit trying a long time ago. I'm sure that there is something on a deep level that should be analyzed but again I don't care why anymore, I just need to do it.

EllenJo

There is either a man or a woman to present, nothing half way.

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Originally Posted by STACY B

Not me ,,I emulate Tracy G ,,, She is my Heroin ,,, See I didn't say Hero,,,,, Im getting there to ,,,, Ask her ,,,LOL,,,

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You are emulating me ?
Hunny you look better than I do you spinky little hottie.

My SO experiences a duality in gender attributes & preferences. S/he has over the years come to feel who s/he is all the time, no matter how dressed. But a part of this is a certain aesthetic of attractiveness that can't be attained just by remaining in guy mode. He simply doesn't feel as if he is attractive as he can be in guy mode. Nor does he like body hair, unlike most men. Getting all dolled up enables her to feel as pretty as she can once in a while, just like I do when I go all out sometimes.

Only do makeup when going out. Never do it at home. I feel that it is a necessary evil when going out in public. I really do not enjoy makeup. The dressing on the other hand, Love it.

I've got to complete the picture -- there's absolutely nothing redeeming about my fat guy head perched over an otherwise lovely outfit. It's all or nothing for me.

For me it has been it something i also don't get at times. But as time has went on i have wanted needed or desired to try more and more to look or feel like a women :)

I guess I'm in the minority here. It's purely sexual for me. I dress in the image of what is sexy to me.

It's really a practical matter for me if I want to avoid full-time confinement while dressed en femme. I must have an appearace that won't attract undue attention, and that involves clothing, makeup, and wig that at least leave enough doubt in others minds that they won't call me out on it. For me, sexiness has nothing to do with it.

My wife has been of immense help in helping me to achieve this level, as well as in giving me the courage to make it happen.

Miriam

Hi Kate, When I get dressed I try to dress and look as good as I can I don't want
to just see a guy in a skirt and heels looking back at me in the mirror.

It's really straightforward for me: As time goes on I seem to become more and more bigendered. Tina is really her own person and my wife and I want to understand her, so she acts as she does on the spur of the moment. That might mean jeans and a blouse with a lighter makeup, or it might mean a more "serious" makeup and a similar change in clothing. I can't predict when I'm in boy mode what Tina will do, as strange as that may seem to many of you. It's really interesting to watch Tina's whims! Makes for interesting conversations after I return to boy mode :)

I really do not try to pass per se, I just like to look a certain way, and unfortunately for me that way is "feminine". I really do not try to pass as a female any more, and only did so in the past for the groups I was with. Hell even when attending Rocky Horror even when in a shiny black spandex mini dress, hose, heels, wig and makeup, I never tried to act "feminine" I just acted like me.

I actually spook myself how close I get to being feminine.

I just like the look, and the clothes.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

My answers is and always will be... "I have no idea why" and don't care either..... just something I'm driven to do...... if I had my choice I wouldn't do it..... but I just have to......... plain and simple....

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I'm with Karen. No idea why, but if I could cleanse it from my brain I would in a heart beat. But I can't and it is who I am. So I go with it. I enjoy it. My incredible Wife enjoys me doing it and going out to places with me. So why not. I don't dress up every time we go out so she get's the man, 75% and sometimes the woman 25%. We have fun with it . But I would still cleanse it from my brain if I could.

Why do I work so hard to mimic women I find attractive? Because I CAN!

And, because looking in my mirror, IT'S WORTH IT!

The reason is to look as much like a woman as possible. I find everything femminine to be very attractive.

I do it because i enjoy it and I'm not hurting anyone so why not?

Another thread requiring introspection?? You're causing me to look back decades. Decades of maleness. Let me see where the stress started. Mom and dad thought it was necessary to study hard in school, grade school. Oh well, that's the job of a kid. Now in the 1950's a girl just would get married off to a mechanic or a bus driver, have babies, grocery shop, and otherwise have a boring life. In junior high I had to study hard to get into a prestigious high school. I made it to that high school. Then, the pressure was on. Again, a high school girl was destined to get knocked up or maybe be a shop clerk or something else as exciting. I had to get into a decent college to earn a decent living, buy a house and get out of the 'projects.' If that wasn't enough pressure, then there was the DRAFT. The troop build up in Vietnam started in 1965, the year I graduated high school. Oh shit! I got to study hard, not flunk out, not go to Nam, not get shot or otherwise mutilated. Study hard. Graduated! Yes! The business world is out there. Dollar bills are hanging from the tree, just waiting for me to pluck. The employment market crashed. The DRAFT I was trying to avoid. Yes, it snagged by ass. Of course, this college graduate surely would get an easy job! Yep, sipping beers after a hard day at the Pentagon! NOT!!!!! Yep, you guessed it, 11B20. That's infantryman for all you civilian. Off to the Nam. But, I lucked out! I lasted only six months of trudging through rice patties, jumping out of choppers (not motorcycles) at ten to fifteen feet, humping (not women) but 80-115 pounds of shit trying to kill Charlie. Well, I lasted six months. Bouncing Betty land mines and protoplasm don't mix. Of course, the guy behind me did not make it. Back to the states.

Then, as most men usually do. They fall for some sweet girl and get married. Yep, got to get a job and be a productive citizen. Have a kid! Yikes, another! You go to a job you hate. Shit happens. The wife cannot take being away from family. Quit said job you hate, and, head west. Unemployed! Funds dwindling! What the **** are we going to do for money! Ah, remember the Bouncing Betty. Veterans preference. Yep, got a nice job. A job that ranks up there with the clerk at the draft board that sent you the carfare money to come down and see the military for two years. Yep, a job where every day was another day of combat. Nobody liked seeing me. But, it put food in the refrigerator. We bought that house. Hey, what's next? It's time for daddy to send the kids to college. And, the wife after living the leisurely life of wiping butts and almost killing kids goes to college tooooo!!

Alas, along comes retirement! Remember that Bouncing Betty land mine and some other encounters with Charlie Cong? Well, that shit has a tendency to crop up in your mind and you start wanting to hide. Where can I hide? Well, those clothes women wear took on added meaning. I sought refuge over the years from stress with wearing some article of feminine attire. Why not the entire deal; wig, bra, panties, stockings, slip, heels, a pretty dress? Being en femme and baking a cake and making a salad and washing my dainties, like I did today is about the farthest I can get from the stresses of being a man. The only thing I cannot do is get pregnant! Duh! At my age I couldn't get pregnant if I were a GG anyway.

Don't get me wrong. I love being a male most of the time. I am sitting here is white BVD's, white tee shirt, cut off jeans I should not wear in public, barefooted (and not pregnant).

I don't know the reason, I just can't explain it. But I do know that I had the first feelings that would equate to my later crossdressing when I was just a pup. There was no high level analysis then, nothing to put it in a psycho-sexual-social context, just a little boy who thought girls clothes were nice. Now move forward 50 years or more and that same feeling still exists but now I have the wherewithall to investigate those feelings. I find those feelings resonate the best when I do my best at finding my closest approximation of what I would look like as a woman. I'm not trying to attract anyone, I'm attempting to find that brief time where I am comfortable and even unaware that I'm wearing clothes, makeup and accessories that are not of my birth gender. During that time I am stress free and happy. Why does it work that way rather than make me feel extreme stress because I'm presenting myself in a way that many would find objectionable? I don't know the reason, I just can't explain it.

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Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

Okay, so we are crossdressers, that much is a "given", but why do many of us go to such great pains to emulate a woman by going the whole nine yards and getting dolled up to the "nines"?

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Kate, I don't really know if this qualfies as "dressing to the nines", but I'll give you my thoughts...
I come home from work, or on my days off, shower, shave, apply eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick; dress in panties, pantyhose, padded panty girdle, bra, forms, slip, skirt and top or dress, and finish it off with appropriate jewelry... 'cause it just feels right to express that aspect of my personality that must be suppressed in order to make a living in the real world.
It's my escape into a tangible reality of my own making. And I feel a sense of exhilaration and completeness I've never felt in any other aspect of my life... and it feels so good I'll never stop.

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Originally Posted by KateSimmons

I do it mostly for myself and since to me it's an art form, I do the best job I can.

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I'll admit, as far as CD'ing, it's all about me! Art doesn't enter into the equation; rather, it's about balancing the wage-earning male father of two wonderful daughters with the carefree, fun-loving spirit of femininity so deeply ingrained within my being. As I've stated previously, I should'a been born female... I'll always regret the twist of fate in the hand I was dealt being born with male genitalia. :sad:

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Originally Posted by Katie Lynn cd

The reason is to look as much like a woman as possible.

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That's the issue... what is possible or conceivable isn't always practical.
Given the major body modifications necessary to completely transition; i.e., FFS, SRS, hormones, breast implants. et al... way too much commitment for me...
I've decided to be content with the embellishments that satisfy my need to recognize and embrace my "inner female".

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Originally Posted by Katie Lynn cd

I find everything femminine to be very attractive.

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Yeah, me too... I adore women, their mannerisms, compassion, gentleness... and, of course, their clothing options and sense of style...

I daresay I may be speaking the thoughts of many here... am I wrong?

I don't want to do it but can't stop doing it love it, want to get better at it

:)I dress because I enjoy dressing. It's always felt right. As I get older I feel less impulsive about dressing. Yet I still dress. That I like becaise it's simply part of my life, I don't need an excuse. I can just do do it.:daydreaming:

Well, I'm no stumble bum who sits here idly posting threads on introspection. Responses such as Stephanie47's are greatly appreciated. I had two tours in Nam and am responsible for the death of at least 1000 North Vietnamese soldiers. I should be happy about that, right?, as they were the so-called enemy but it was mostly a case of we got them before they got us. Even got a medal for it but that plays on you over the years. I tried to have a "normal" life and suppress it but it always managed to come out somehow. My particular form of PTSD I guess. I had to go deep within myself to ID and address my feelings concerning this . I felt that as a man I killed people in war, so wanted to be anything but that. It took a while to accept my feelings, take ownership of them and amalgamate them. My vehicle of choice to do this was CDing. The end result is I'm now a full spectrum person who is no longer afraid or ashamed of his feelings in either mode.Because of how I had felt, when I looked in the mirror as a man, I saw a monster. Looking like a woman made the bitter taste somewhat easier to swallow. Now, because of getting in touch with my feelings, I can look at my man reflection without being repulsed and can enjoy being myself either way and am finally in charge of my own destiny.:)

Let's see.... I don't go bowling and stop after 5 frames, I don't play golf and stop after only 16 holes, I don't go fishing and never make a cast, I don't dress for work and wear only my socks, I don't go to formal affairs without a tie, I don't sit at the table for dinner with family and drink milf straight from the gallon container.(living alone I do that when no one's looking...LOL) The point is, why do anything only half way or sloppy? And most of us would look sloppy, weird, ugly if we did not do the whole nine yards as the OP put it.

Kate, first, thank you for your service to our country. And thank you for your heart felt feelings about how you helped yourself with the PTSD. It struck a cord with me...again, thank you.

I try my best to always look as good as I can as do not want to denigrate women in any way. I also prefer the image that I see in a mirror when I am fully made-up, etc.

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Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

I do it mostly for myself and since to me it's an art form, I do the best job I can.

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Ding ding ding ding ding...:heehee: .......pretty much my answer, it's just fun and I love it:o

Thera

dressing as a girl makes me feel very good.. and I love feeling good, so i dress as often as I can..

In life you simply have to do whatever makes you happy.

That and my wife and daughters appreciate if I do it when we go out.

as i have just started exploring my fem side, i've been doing it off and on for 20 years but have always felt guilty afterwards, but i've thought alot about this questions and there is not one answer. one reason is i like the way the clothes feel to my skin. another reason i'm learning more each day is i'm tapping into my female side and emotions that i have boxed in my whole life.

HI Kate, I try to look as convincing as possible because I am not fond of my male appearance and I guess I seek some form of validation that I indeed do look attractive,even as a woman.This is not just an ego thing but it is emotional for me also as well as almost spiritual.It makes me automatically feel gentle,more caring,much more patient and basically non- masculine.My mannerisms and thought processes automatically become lady-like with little or no effort. It feels natural for me to dress and look like a woman and always has.
I hope that helps answer things a little?

Oh and unlike some on here( no names mentioned but very close by) I see no need for being arrogant or overtly conceited about my looks,as I talk to any CD/TG I like regardless of how great or not they look.It's all a learning process anyway.

Hugs Vicki xoxo

What a great question - and what a wonderful variety of answers. For me it is something I just have to do - without it I feel incomplete. I like to look as convincing as possible if I go out (approprioate to my age of 50) - but then I have dressed quite tarty and thoroughly enjoyed that as well. Sometines I go lad's mag in my room and video or photo myself.. There is no doubt that is is a whole variety of reasons - but as long as it doesm't harm anyone it can't be worng. Cx

I said before it was because I want to appear as a female. It is not easy making a male look female so I do the work that is needed. I guess I go the whole 9 yards....When I dress I do use makeup and a corset but I do not always wear a dress or skirt. I try to look in any situation as a lady would. Many ladies would not leave the house looking too plain or without makeup. Besides I think I look better as a woman than I do a man.

my dressing started young, that young that i cant even remember when it started. Back then it was 'fun', nothing more. Yes the urge was there to put on femme clothes, but never was i dissapointed i was a boy. Its just a part of me, a part that was hidden way too long, even from myself.