Does a straight male cd have a place in the LGBTQ community?

So my wife is very active in our local LGBTQ community. She's on the board of our area Pride Community Center. I go with her to most if their events to show my support as a straight ally, and I've met some pretty cool people as a result.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to find someone outside my home that I can share Jamie with: makeup advice, style tips, just chatting with someone that "gets it". My initial thought was that folks in the local pride community were likely the best place to start looking for that. While I don't fear outright rejection from the pride folks, I am a little concerned that I would be marginalized as a "just a fetishist" instead of someone that belongs in their community as more than a straight ally. Sort of the mentality of, "Oh you have the wrong room, your group is meeting down the hall."

So straight men: are any of you active in your local LGBTQ communities? If so, are you "out" to them as a CD? How did they receive you when you came out to them?

Folks that are LGBTQ: how would you receive a straight male who came out as a CD at a meeting of a pride group you belong to?

My chapter welcomes all so its a non issue.

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Originally Posted by ThisIsBob

So straight men: are any of you active in your local LGBTQ communities? If so, are you "out" to them as a CD? How did they receive you when you came out to them?

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I am not especially active in the community, but they treat me pretty well, and actively take steps to make me and the social club I belong to feel welcome.

Your doing this The Hard Way! You need to find The "T" in LGBQT! Now your Pride Center might be a good place to start, as they should have liaison with various T-Support Groups around The Area. But Gay men and Women aren't particularly interested in supporting Trans People beyond Civil Tolerance, and defending your Right to be whom you wish to be. Yes, you can make friends of individuals within The Gay Community, but I think you'll find that they are just as naive about us as the rest of society.

If you want to start "reaching out" to other T-Gurls, and you want them to start reaching back to you, there is no better place to start than at a local group. Yeah, I know your in Texas, and that's The Home for a lot of Tri-Ess Groups. And although you might be turned off by The National's Stance about Gay people, it doesn't necessarily apply to individual chapters. And, there are a lot of other Groups around that State, not just Tri-Ess Affiliates.

Think I'd start a Web Search right now! There is no better time than The Present Time to make those first steps.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Of course. I feel totally welcome within Houston's LGBT community.

I am not "out" so I am not active in the LGBT community. I have too many fears, confusion, and other things that keep pushing me backwards rather than forwards. I was hoping this holiday season was going to help me over come some of these but it's not looking good. I would love to be active in the community though if the time ever does come for me.

Another "Of course!". A lot depends on you and how you interact with others. If you are open, honest and fun, sometimes fun being the most important, everyone will welcome you with open arms, or at least a smile. If you go with a bad attitude, quiet and shy, who knows how they will take to you?

Being honest will bring acceptance.:)

I think that everyone has a place in the LGBT community, even if one of those letters doesn't directly apply to them. One can support others without being a member of a specific group.

As far as I can tell, the closest LGBTQ group to me is 70 miles away, so I'm not involved. I did some research, though, and they seem to be predominately concerned with gay and lesbian issues. The nearest Tri-Ess group is over 100 miles away. No involvement there, not even contact. I can't even get responses from bars and clubs that claim to be LGBT friendly, as to their friendliness to CD's/Trans. Sucks to be stuck in the corn patch.
Myself,I am straight, albeit, if I could transition I would be a lesbian. Maybe then I'd get recognition.

There is no place outside of the internet for closeted people. If you're looking for a community or a new circle of friends you need to get out and start meeting people. Everybody knows where the "gay" bar is in your small town so go have a drink. Meet someone, make a friend, maybe dance a little. Oh you're too uptight to have a drink in a gay bar? Try getting over it and not judging people because I can pretty much guarantee that your small town queer bar is NOT a meat market and you will NOT be approached aggressively by any body. In fact you'll probably be ignored except for a couple of "how ya doin's".

If you want to meet some queer folks just so you can have a more liberal audience for your "coming out", then start by just making new friends first. CD's tend to blow the cross-dressing into a much bigger issue than it really is. If you wanna cross-dress than do it and be proud of who you are.

if you are a CD then you are also a TG

CD=CROSSDRESSER=TRANSGENDER

TG=TRANSGENDER=GIRL

now if you are a math major or an engineer this will help you to model girls in an analytical way

I think Melissa and Luscious have the answer here somewhere.
Forget about how straight you are, and mix and socialize with your wifes group.
Someone will give you an opening and acceptance.
I doubt you would be shunned. I am sure I am straight, but I can't lie straight in bed so get on with it. :)
Enjoy life.

Well, I uh......since I often dress as female in public , I am no longer straight by definition, though I'm still attracted to women. ....ok, that's that.

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Originally Posted by ThisIsBob

While I don't fear outright rejection from the pride folks, I am a little concerned that I would be marginalized as a "just a fetishist" instead of someone that belongs in their community as more than a straight ally. Sort of the mentality of, "Oh you have the wrong room, your group is meeting down the hall."

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This has been my SO's and my experience when we used to go to the local GLBT club a lot, in the beginning when my SO was starting to go out. It is mostly a gay bar and the guys pretty well kept their distance. They weren't rude or anything, but they didn't have much to say to us.

And it has also been our experience at the lesbian bars that we've gone to. We've had nice, "hi how are ya" nods, but they haven't rushed headlong into conversations with us either. Although my SO is quiet, I'm not, I make friends rather easily, but my attempts at conversation have been a no-go. One lesbian was rather friendly to my SO (they met on myspace) but she was an activist and she wanted activist friends who would help her with events. She had absolutely no interest in discussing anything girlie with my SO. lol

The best source of like-minded people has been my SO's rather large TG support group that is comprised of everyone across the T spectrum.

I met my SO in my local gay pub, it was my So's first time in that bar though is a regular in her/his closest one and had never not felt accepted. I've found that the LGBT community where I live are very accepting of everyone. I've been drinking in the gay pubs for the last 10 years and have never seen anyone have any problems at all. The one I go too the majority of people know each other but always welcome new people. I think the more outgoing and friendly you are the easier it is to get talking to someone. If your wife is active in the LGBT community and you're nervous, can she not go with you as moral support?

The only problem is, you are a heterosexual male who likes to wear women's clothing. Gay men are attracted to men and don't wear women's clothing (with rare exception.) You might find it a bit difficult to find friends or be accepted among them, not because one is necessarily better than the other, but just because of a lack of commonalities with them.

It is Pride Festival here in Jax,Fl and I am a participant.I held one end of the UU Church banner in the parade,worked the crowd,etc..It is an LGBTQ Festival,and I am the T "ambassador",so I really get a sense of how the T's fit in the group.It is all good as we are all different,but the same...we are outside of the norm[and with the Bible thumpers of the South,who wants to be normal??] Like others have said,you can do your thing in their world and you will find other T's doing that as well. I went to a TG meeting after the parade and then to the big LGBTQ nightclub afterwards that was filled with people of ALL discriptions..As Reine pointed out,none of the G and L clubs are "meat markets" for T's and you are apt to just get a smile or a wave from most there,but no pitchfork! lol I am sure there is a T support subgroup of your wifes in your area,you just need to seek it out.

You should be as welcome as anyone else. I get accepted as a gay man and a CD, though less people talk when I'm dressed..... Members of the LGBTQ community should be the last to judge others when they don't like being judged, this isn't always the case unfortunately but you should find lots of people to talk with and hopefully even more friends.

Good luck.

The LGB is about sexual preferences. The T is about gender identification and/or presentation. It's a mismatch. No wonder it's a weak association.

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Originally Posted by ThisIsBob

So my wife is very active in our local LGBTQ community. She's on the board of our area Pride Community Center. I go with her to most if their events to show my support as a straight ally, and I've met some pretty cool people as a result.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to find someone outside my home that I can share Jamie with: makeup advice, style tips, just chatting with someone that "gets it". My initial thought was that folks in the local pride community were likely the best place to start looking for that. While I don't fear outright rejection from the pride folks, I am a little concerned that I would be marginalized as a "just a fetishist" instead of someone that belongs in their community as more than a straight ally. Sort of the mentality of, "Oh you have the wrong room, your group is meeting down the hall."

So straight men: are any of you active in your local LGBTQ communities? If so, are you "out" to them as a CD? How did they receive you when you came out to them?

Folks that are LGBTQ: how would you receive a straight male who came out as a CD at a meeting of a pride group you belong to?

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I believe Tri-Ess identifies with "T". Tri-Ess is a heterosexual support group for mostly married crossdressers. Some chapters do accept single male crossdressers who identify with heterosexual lifestyle. So if there is a Tri-Ess group in your area, that would be a group that would accept you. I belong to a local transgender support group, estimate that 90 percent idendify as MtF transgender or some have completed the transistion. I identify as a crossdresser going to the group functions and am accepted as others are who attend group functions.

Tri-Ess allows all hetero dressers in their chapters, as full members, married or not (at least they are supposed to.)

There are other arenas in which the battle for full acceptance of the LGBT community is being fought.
You will find me in those, rather than in the bars and clubs.
I guess it's because I am getting older ...
:straightface:

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Originally Posted by luscious

now if you are a math major or an engineer this will help you to model girls in an analytical way

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This equation is no longer valid. :p

More women than men now are getting college degrees, which means that women are fully able to take care of their own financial needs and further, in some marriages the wife actually makes more than the husband.

The basic premise that "girls = time + money" is no longer true, although admittedly, the following is true:

For girls, "boys = time"
For boys, "girls = time"

So you see, having removed the money factor, it is no longer possible to extrapolate to "girls = evil"

:D :D :D :D :D

Sorry - but I don't know what LGBTQ is? Actually just worked it out Lesbian, Gay Bi Trans something?? Not a term I'm familiar with. However I think (if this is what I think) that we are different. I think gays and TGs (i.e. people who want to change sex??) are accepted - perhaps because they are 'further out' than we are. From what I have read gays tend to diparage TVs/Cds - maybe as half-hearted - who knows. For me it's about expressing the femme side of me in a physical way. It's definitely got a sexual kick to it (but what's wrong with that) - but it definitely goes deeper. Cx

Luscious, you can't outsmart Reinestein.

As I understand it, the original question is whether a straight cd has any place in the LGBTQ community. It has nothing to do with hanging out in gay bars or being welcomed by lesbians. The question is: Do we have a place by right of who we are? And the answer is, damn right we do. We are the T in the equation. LGBTQ activists are fighting for us as well, and we have a right to demand their support—and to throw our support to our gay, lesbian and bi brothers and sisters. If your lesbian sisters are only lukewarm toward you, then open your own watering place for T-girls. But remember, we are all in this together.

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Originally Posted by ChristineReid

Sorry - but I don't know what LGBTQ is? Actually just worked it out Lesbian, Gay Bi Trans something?? Not a term I'm familiar with.

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Me neither, Christine. I don't think any of us is any more or less strange than the vast majority of humankind.
If Q stands for what I think it does, this is the first time I have seen the letter attached to the other four.
I loathe all labels anyway, so simply reject all of this stereotyping.

This is an interesting Sociological principal. In any large population there are always micro chasms or sub-groups that develop within the community. I have always felt like the "T" was an afterthought in the LGB (oh yea, and T) community. It's like we are the proverbial red-headed-step-child.

Having said that, I also feel it's important that we focus on the things we have in common rather than our differences.

At the advice of my therapist (who incidentally is a lesbian) I recently visited our local LGBT center. I even attended a group meeting for trans-folks called "translation". I met some really cool people there, but none of them really reached out to the "new-comer." Perhaps they were just respecting my privacy, but it seemed more like they were pre-occupied with their own problems (some of which were significant!) Overall I didn't find the meeting or the center that helpful. I would give it maybe one and a half stars out of five. Most of the discussion was around political issues and involved petitioning local government for help with things like housing and medical costs. There was talk about the rights to be out en-femme without harassment from law enforcement or threat of being fired from your job. I don't discount for a minute the importance of these issues but we never seemed to get away from the theme of, "What will society do for me?"

The thing that would have made it a better experience for me would have been to hear what we as a community are doing to help society. We are a diverse and talented group and have a lot to offer. I believe that if we could somehow demonstrate that we are not just harmless, but that we can enhance the lives of those around us then we will be rewarded with a greater measure of acceptance.


PS:

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

Luscious, you can't outsmart Reinestein.

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You are so right about Reinestein!!! She rocks LOL

Yes. Crossdressers count as transgender. However, the addition of T (transgender) to the LGBT community is recent, and not always well understood. LGB are about sexual preference. The community has expanded to include gender identity, and more recently 'I' was added for physical sex differences by intersex people. More letters have been added to represent different subgroups in an attempt to be inclusive.

Some people think that these different types of gender/sex diversity should not be grouped together because they are not really all that similar, and there is often conflict and lack of understanding within the LGBTIQ/etc communities. What we have in common is mainly that we want acceptance by society. We should be able to demonstrate that acceptance of diversity within the broad gender-diverse community, but we are not there yet.

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Originally Posted by juno

Yes. Crossdressers count as transgender. However, the addition of T (transgender) to the LGBT community is recent, and not always well understood. LGB are about sexual preference.

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Here's my two bits
Im not gay or lesbian, Im a man that's declines homosexuallity or the "normal" thought process of society. I am a crossdresser and that is totally "off the wall" to everyone. The gay folks see us as wierd,the "normal" folks see us as wierd so of course we don't fit in with either. I prefer to stand alone in my "off the wallness" and be part of the "me" group and that's how I like it. I don't associate with someone just to be accepted. I'll do my thing and don't give me crap about it. I won't shove my crap down your throat and don't try to shove your crap down my throat.

The "me" group may be very small but we're lethal.:eek:

Thera

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Originally Posted by Thera Home

I prefer to stand alone in my "off the wallness" and be part of the "me" group and that's how I like it.
The "me" group may be very small but we're lethal.:eek:

Thera

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Well said! We are all here to express who we are - not be boxed into someone else's definition of who we should be/

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Originally Posted by Thera Home

I don't associate with someone just to be accepted. I'll do my thing and don't give me crap about it.

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That's a little bit disingenuous Thera. You do in fact associate with others to be accepted, and those others would be your straight male friends that have no idea who you really are. In fact, nobody knows who you really are so how are they gonna give you "crap" about your thing when you "do your thing" in complete secrecy?

I've noticed over the years that a lot of deeply closeted people talk tough about their individuality on the internet but you don't hear a peep from them in real life. I understand how difficult it is for many people to be honest with themselves and others, but I don't understand how someone can be so proudly independent and dismissive of societal classifications here, but completely opposite in their lives.

My religious, teabagger, birther dad, is not thrilled about my transition but he is proud that I at least walk it like I talk it.

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

In fact, nobody knows who you really are so how are they gonna give you "crap" about your thing when you "do your thing" in complete secrecy?

I don't understand how someone can be so proudly independent and dismissive of societal classifications here, but completely opposite in their lives.

My religious, teabagger, birther dad, is not thrilled about my transition but he is proud that I at least walk it like I talk it.

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Hi Melissa
Sorry, Im still trying to figure out how to split the post and answer it separatly, Oh well my pea brain is just so taxed sometimes:heehee:

- The only person I chose to know was my wife. Everybody else will be included in my life as I choose and they will know what I decide they should know about me.

- That's me in the flesh:D

- Im happy that your pappy is proud of you. If you decide to walk the walk and less talk then that's a choice you decided to make and Im happy for you. Do you believe since you decided to go that route that everybody should follow? I believe they call that "running with the pack".

For me, Im content where I am, I'm a deep closet dresser and I like it that way. I do fantansize about going out in public someday and if it happens, great. If it doesn't, great. It doesn't really matter to me because I chose to not let it matter.:D

And thats just "me"

Thera

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Originally Posted by ChristineReid

Well said! We are all here to express who we are - not be boxed into someone else's definition of who we should be/

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Well, said, Christine!!!

You have stated clearly and succinctly what I have long been struggling to say on this forum.

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Originally Posted by Thera Home

Do you believe since you decided to go that route that everybody should follow?

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Absolutely not. There is no bigger advocate of "doing your own thing" than me. It doesn't bother me in the least if people want to be closeted EXCEPT for the blinding hypocrisy when they post on this board. How can you come on here and say "I don't care what anybody thinks!" when in your actual life you care a LOT about what EVERYBODY thinks.

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I believe they call that "running with the pack".

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I suppose they would, but the pack I'm running with is a hell of a lot smaller than the pack you pretend to be a part of. My pack knows everything about me, and yours has no idea that you are such a proud independent thinker. I totally get that you find comfort in your level of disclosure but why try and portray yourself as some maverick, when that's not really the case?

I'm not speaking to JUST you Thera, there are many dozens of you that I'm addressing.

Sorry to take so long to get back to this!

To clarify for those who were asking, the Q in LGBTQ stands for "queer" or "genderqueer" - those who don't fit into either portion of a binary (male/female only) definition of gender. I suppose since in order to completely accurately label myself as cis-male, I probably wouldn't enjoy crossdressing, technically, I would fall closest to the "genderqueer" label.

I already am fairly active in at least a small portion of the local "alphabet" community, through attending local meetings and events with my wife. I've gotten to know about a dozen of the folks she works closely with in the community, they're all pretty cool, and they're all pretty cool with me as a "straight ally". Unfortunately there are no "T" representatives in their organization yet, so I really haven't found anyone through that circle that I could click with.

Part of the problem is that I'm no social butterfly and never will be, even in the nice quiet settings I prefer. The bar scene (yeah there's the one club here... it literally used to be named "The Club" back in the 90s) is not something I've even enjoyed. I almost never drink (no moral issues with it, I'm a control freak), I dance horribly, and I hate having to shout over loud music to be heard.

I've briefly looked into Tri-Ess, and need to look some more. The main problem is the nearest chapter is about 100 miles away. I guess it just boils down to the fact that I'm pretty much scared to seek out the local trans community. I'm not looking for a date, a hookup, or anything like that... just friends that understand the CD part of me. My fears are likely mostly not rational, but that doesn't make them less scary. :)

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

I totally get that you find comfort in your level of disclosure but why try and portray yourself as some maverick, when that's not really the case?

I'm not speaking to JUST you Thera

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Around these parts I have no name since Im that closeted:heehee:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQGGQ-FCe_w

:argue:

:naughty

:p

Thera

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Originally Posted by ThisIsBob

To clarify for those who were asking, the Q in LGBTQ stands for "queer" or "genderqueer" - those who don't fit into either portion of a binary (male/female only) definition of gender. I suppose since in order to completely accurately label myself as cis-male, I probably wouldn't enjoy crossdressing, technically, I would fall closest to the "genderqueer" label.

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There is a wonderful Afrikaans word "skeef", which the transgender community uses in South Africa.
It means "skew" or, better still in South African terms, "not straight".

Maybe we could all agree to simply use that word instead of all the others?

Straight vs skeef .... a simple binary code.

Then we could do away with all this nonsense.

Dream on, CF!

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Originally Posted by ThisIsBob

Folks that are LGBTQ: how would you receive a straight male who came out as a CD at a meeting of a pride group you belong to?

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The Community (and I use that in the broadest sense) is not so big and powerful that it can afford to turn people away. People should realize that but on the other hand bisexuals get some really wicked flack that we are not gay enough or that when times get tight we can fade back into mainstream heteroland. People should know better and realize that progress towards equality needs (NO, Requires!) all of us working together. It is stupid NOT to do that, but it's almost like some inside The Community want all the glory and all the benefits for themselves. They are unwilling to share. I would not be surprised if a similar thought process has been levied against straight crossdressers. And, I suspect that it is an even greater leap of Faith as they just KNOW that you're really gay and in denial. Probably the best advice is staunchly maintain your identity. Don't shout it from the rafters, but be resolute.

Society at large attempts to marginalize ALL of us because we sleep with and have relationships with people of the same sex OR because we choose to present opposite to our physical being OR we don't determine our preferred partners by gender OR we don't think of ourselves as sexual beings OR there is a mismatch between our sensibilities and our physical being. All of these things SHOULD be reasons to unite us, but instead many people consider them as reasons to stay separate and apart. This will NOT do.

So, if we don't see the behavior that should exist, it is up to us to model it. It is up to us to be inclusive. It is up to us to recgnize our differences, accept them and be drawn together by them. Anything less will be viewed as tacit approval of the behavior that we don't want.

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Originally Posted by flatlander_48

It is up to us to recgnize our differences, accept them and be drawn together by them. Anything less will be viewed as tacit approval of the behavior that we don't want.

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I prefer to look past "our differences" and see the person within, without bothering to put them in a box. Unconditional acceptance of the person as a person.

I have heard it said that gay people don't "accept" CDers such as I. Can't see why, though. I would have thought that any support would be better than antagonism.

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Originally Posted by flatlander_48

The Community (and I use that in the broadest sense) is not so big and powerful that it can afford to turn people away....

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Quite true. It's the "We hang together or surely we will hang separately" philosophy.

In the past, before homosexuality had its present level of acceptance, heterosexual CDers went out of their way to disassociate themelves with the gay community which is why groups like Tri-Ess limited their memberships to heterosexuals. Some older groups still adhere to this stricture but many have moved into the current century and are accepting of all sexual orientations.

HI,

Down in our part of the south isl of N Z we dont have gay bar's nore do we have LGBQ or T for that matter, id have to drive 130 miles north to Ch Ch , or south 90 miles to Dunedin to even find any. I know one chap whos in his 70's & have done for 7 years .

I know of 7 women same amount of time . & we used to meet each month though we have disbanded most of the others are working. I even took Jos & our daughter & her Kid'e along for a potluck evening get to gether, that was nice.

The only comment i had was at another get together was i would not be accepted as a female / woman no matter what i did or said they made it very plan in thier eyes i was not a female even though i was /am a intersexed female ./ woman.

As to my other friend he was more than willing to be a friend, & still is, & he knows about my background like the others,

I allso have been with 120 women at a gay evening or pride week i know two dresser's came along & went with in a hour , they were not interested in being there, i stayed till about 11 men who were invited to come up after 2 hours of the start of the evening , & then some decided to go to see were the bar's were, heck that was out side my whatll i say comfort zone. never been to any like that, i stayed a while had a look around then thought . time to head off, not my thing, my point is i went took time to be with them & showed my face,

I dont have any contact with any groups such as we are talking about , its all the driveing involved, & the one group i knew is disbanding, or has,

So , so im just a woman whos pretty much involved with our community & our groups, here in Waimate, most are woman any way so im happerly at home,

& i dont see any dresser's or trans if there are any about i would only know of one whom iv not seen in a while, due to health issues,

Just thinking a bit more & really what would i have in common with those in the gay community, even they would not be interested in our community of women here were i live they are not interested in our groups, or what we do.

so i spos the saying is where birds of a feather flock together means much ,its that, we have very different interests,


...noeleena...

Yes, but then, a lot of us are bi, some are on hormones, and some have done minor surgical procedures. And some of us have done none of that. I hang out at gay bars, get pegged as gay, and straight, and everything else....but I am nice, friendly and THAT is why I am accepted, so it has precious little to do with my orientation or presentation....

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Originally Posted by clayfish

I prefer to look past "our differences" and see the person within, without bothering to put them in a box. Unconditional acceptance of the person as a person.

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You're assuming that differences separate. That is only true if one uses the idea as a way to separate and attempt to feel superior over someone else because of those differnces. Ignoring differences and refusing to deal with them does not make them go away. Do all of your friends look like you? Do we all dress the same? Do we all drive Chevys? Of course not.

I'll bet you anything that my life to this point has been very different from your to this point. Among other things, our experiences shape who we are. A lot of our differences are based in these experiences. When we ignore differences, it is a way of assuming that we are all alike. Clearly with over 300,000,000 people in the US, what are those chances?

Understanding differences facilitates the understanding of who we are and why we respond in certain unique ways. Getting back to crossdressers, we all have different reasons why we do it, what we enjoy about it and what we gain from it. Sure there are some general themes, but there are also many shades within those themes. We come from being straight, gay, bisexual or transgender. We started young, middle-aged and old. We underdress, go out dressed, we live en femme 24/7. We are in relationships or not. We have children or not. We want to transition permanently to the opposite gender or not. We inherentlyhave a number of different paths by which we come to THIS place. This is the richness of who we are and we can't shortcircuit this in the interest of simplicity.

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Originally Posted by melissakozak

Yes, but then, a lot of us are bi, some are on hormones, and some have done minor surgical procedures. And some of us have done none of that. I hang out at gay bars, get pegged as gay, and straight, and everything else....but I am nice, friendly and THAT is why I am accepted, so it has precious little to do with my orientation or presentation....

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OMG!

If I had a bell I would ring it. Short and to the point. (a really sharp and pointy one too)

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Originally Posted by flatlander_48

You're assuming that differences separate.

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I know they do.

As for the rest of your post, the points you make are relevant and pertinent. And, at the same time, irrelevant and impertinent.

This thread mentions a handful of boxes, each one with a letter label. Can we put each of the roughly 300,000,000 Americans neatly into just one of these boxes? Clearly, no we can't! So what shall we do? I know, let's find the broadest common denominator we can! Let's put all of them into a wonderful box labelled "Americans".

But hold it ... what about all the other people on this planet who dont't live in the USA. Bugger! Better put them each into separate boxes and label them according to the countries in which they live. Perhaps a step in the right direction, after all, there are about 130 countries in the world, I think.

But hold it ... will that allow all the people of this world to live in peace and harmony? Don't think so. Look at the civil wars taking place right now in countries such as Syria and Zimbabwe, to say nothing about the wars fought by the USA against all manner of other countries in the latter part of the 20th century and the last decade or so.

Nationalism is not the way to go.

Neither is LGBTQ ....

What we need is a great big melting pot so that we all become humans, for at the very root of our existence, that humanity is what we ALL share.

Sure, we each follow our own unique path through this life. But at the end of it, we all return to dust. Our differences do not matter, when we look back on them. They only serve to separate us one from another, and to make each invidual's life that much more difficult.

We have lost our sense of community in recent decades, through the rise of the I, ME, MINE mentality. A handful of little boxes may provide temporary shelter, but they cannot encompass the richness of our diversity and singularity.

My two sense: We all agree that all sexual persuasions should accept each other's right to live and be whatever you want to be without bigotry and harassment.
"Accept" and "tolerate" allows hetero CDs to mingle in LGBT clubs and gatherings without obvious problem, but do they understand what makes you tick? No, I don't think they do. And what happens when one's life style is not understood? We know the answer already. I haven't met a gay person yet who knows why we do what we do (we really don't either) but I do know that gay males prefer other males just as gay females prefer other females.. Along comes the hetero CDs who generally tries their best to emulate females in dress and physical appearance. So why should they be attracted to you? The gay person may welcome the CD's right to be whatever they wish to be for that demonstrates their wish for society to be tolerant of all but are they comfortable socializing with us (other than relatives)? I think not. I go along with those posts that suggest for you to find either nearby or by Internet CDs to whom you can relate.
Julie

Fascinating thread, glad you started it. My guess is that you personally wouldn't struggle greatly to have a nice place in the community.

As a more general proposition, though, I think it would depend on how vehemently "straight" the CD is. Not that the CD would need to be anything less than 100% straight, but if she is someone who needs to constantly reaffirm that fact, or make sure that everyone knows it, I can imagine that her reception may be less than universally positive.