A vacation with my wife...(with a catch)

My wife has agreed to go on a vacation with me for four days, the only catch... I must become her female BFF to include a full body wax and a set of salon quality nails. Another stipulation...I will only answer as Miss Jessica for the whole time...this will include thinking and talking like her for the duration. We are looking at an urban vacation to Atlanta. Also, we are planning on going to a male strip club, taking shopping trips, and having a few salon sessions together.

I must admit, the male strip club idea has me a little nervous, but is equally intriguing. Should I go and be a women fully, or should I retain a bit of my male dignity?

p.s.- we have both had a few stressful years lately...do we use this an excuse to "reward" ourselves...

Miss Jessica

Wow, what an opportunity. If it were me, woman all the way...I'd be nervous about the strip club also.

Could this be a trap? Before you go as Miss Jessica to a male strip club you need to discuss how she expects you to act. Normally
girls at such a club will ogle, leer and just act silly without taking it too seriously. So will she be looking for gay tendencies while there?
Come to an agreement before you go! Perhaps I'm just being suspicious. In which case no harm is done.
Julie

Girls can get pretty wild at those shows. I am assuming you're going to a reputable place, so there will not be any opportunity for you to stuff $$$ into a guys jock strap. Shucks!

Are you kidding? Most CDs would "kill" for a chance like this!

Before you go, try to get your hands on some Canadian Tire money.
Show those male strippers just how much you love them by shoving 5 cent bills under their $10 bill.

;)

This doesn't sound "fun" but rather some pseudo-S&M kind of thing. She wants to dominate you and seemingly humiliate you. That is not a vacation nor my idea of a good time.

Jessica...I think that you should go for it!! It sounds like a wonderful time and you shouldn't pass any of it up.

I would go for it in a heart beat. Enjoy yourself and appreciate your wife for such a great vacation.

I have no idea your history or what your relationship has been founded on, but I agree with Jennifer in that I don't think this is a wise move for the health of your marriage. Obviously, you know the dynamics of your relationship better than I do.

That having been said, hopefully this won't make you give us TMI, but why is "reward" is quotes? I'm sure I'm just being naive...

*** I think I figured it out... yup! I was being naive. Do what comes naturally, I suppose.

I think I read this one on Fictionmania once quite a few years ago. ;)

If this is serious, then by all means go all out, and don't forget to be grateful for a wife, that accepts you, and clearly enjoys the domination aspect of a relationship that I'm guessing you like!

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

My wife has agreed to go on a vacation with me for four days, the only catch... I must become her female BFF to include a full body wax and a set of salon quality nails. Another stipulation...I will only answer as Miss Jessica for the whole time...this will include thinking and talking like her for the duration. We are looking at an urban vacation to Atlanta. Also, we are planning on going to a male strip club, taking shopping trips, and having a few salon sessions together.

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This is an EXCELLENT IDEA!! This will help both of you sort out a number of different things that may have been issues for her and for her. First, it will give you a chance to experience what it's really like to be a woman, including the spa treatment, and all of the other things she has suggested. You will be amazed at how beautiful you look after a full body wax by a professional. You might also want to ask her if she wants you to get laser hair removal.

This may help you decide whether or not you might want to transition, it will help her to experience you and get to know Jessica, who may be significantly different from the man she married, and she might actually love Jessica even more than she loves Jess (or whatever your male name is).

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I must admit, the male strip club idea has me a little nervous, but is equally intriguing. Should I go and be a women fully, or should I retain a bit of my male dignity?

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Absolutely you should go as a woman fully, even to the male strip club. This will give both of you the opportunity to experience handsome and attractive men giving you kind and positive attention as women, and will help you experience men as a positive experience. You may decide that men are not your thing, but by being open to the experience, you may find that you can experience more pleasure with you wife in many different ways. Keep in mind your wife is taking the chance to experience you as a woman, possibly even as a female lover, which may be as awkward for her as you experiencing a man. If you let yourself enjoy the experience of being a woman flirting with a man, you may both have a lot of fun.

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p.s.- we have both had a few stressful years lately...do we use this an excuse to "reward" ourselves...
Miss Jessica

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I suspect that by the time the vacation is over, both of you may have opened up to new experiences that will have both of you loving each other and expressing your love for each other in new and exciting ways. You may even find new combinations or activities that you both enjoy.

I would also suggest that before you go, that you read some of the books by Sarah Desmarais - on Amazon books. Including Three Weeks in Dallas, Room and Board, and "A Change in Our Marriage". There may be some aspects that you would embrace immediately, others you may need some coaxing, and some may be hard limits, but you may find that you could have a whole new level of excitement in your marriage for both Your wife, and you as Jessica.

That sounds like a great offer from her. By all means go for it to the max! I would be drooling at the oppertunity. Particularly the salon sessons together. As for the strip club, go, enjoy and be your best female self. I do not know about your sexuality or how long and supportive your wife has been. If she is recently aware of your dressing, this could be a test to see if you are leaning towards being gay. Either way, have fun with her, let her lead the way and don't be surprised if your little guy tries to express himself at the strip club. It doesn't mean your gay, just reaction to a sexually charged situation.

If it sounds appealing to you you should do it. It sounds like a "total immersion" experience and you are likely to learn a lot about Girl World.

I'm not sure about being called "Miss Jessica" for the whole time, though. Perhaps just "Jessica" would be better! :)

Go, go,go and have fun, fun, fun. What an opportunity.

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

I must admit, the male strip club idea has me a little nervous, but is equally intriguing. Should I go and be a women fully, or should I retain a bit of my male dignity?

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LOL. You're asking, in a CD forum, if you should engage in a bit of forced feminization with your wife, and go to a male strip club dressed fully as a woman as her BFF? And you're asking CDers, many of whom fantasize about men while dressed, what they think? :D OK.

Anyway, your story is eerily familiar to a post you made in September. If you did go with your wife three months ago, then why would you feel nervous about it now?

FYI, when I was in my 20s and my female friends were being married, we did have a few bachelorette parties (female version of stag parties) at places with male strippers. It was a hoot, but no one really payed any attention to the guys. lol They were fun to watch and all (they gyrated nicely and it wasn't full nudity), but we were having much more fun being there as friends, having drinks, and playing the part of the excited female (a bit of a role reversal from how we imagined men behaved with female strippers). We'd act all raunchy, try to whistle by putting our fingers in our teeth, and generally just make @sses out of ourselves and have a grand ol' time. And then .... *sigh* they broke the magic. At around 10 or 11PM, they'd let the guys in. Turns out their "ladies nights" were just a marketing ploy to fill the house with women, in order to attract the men later and sell twice as many drinks. :p We'd leave then, because more often than not, the pickings were slim for those of us who were single. Who wants to meet up with a guy who shows up at the tail end of a ladies night, hoping to get a little action? :p

Dear ReineD,

Unfortunately, the September trip did not materialize...my wife has been working out of town for the last few months. However, she comes back for good in about a week.

In short, I am afraid I might like the experience of seeing these naked men...however, I have never considered myself gay or bi...perhaps as Jessica, it becomes a moot point?

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Originally Posted by ReineD

LOL. You're asking, in a CD forum, if you should engage in a bit of forced feminization with your wife, and go to a male strip club dressed fully as a woman as her BFF? And you're asking CDers, many of whom fantasize about men while dressed, what they think? :D OK.

Anyway, your story is eerily familiar to a post you made in September. If you did go with your wife three months ago, then why would you feel nervous about it now?

FYI, when I was in my 20s and my female friends were being married, we did have a few bachelorette parties (female version of stag parties) at places with male strippers. It was a hoot, but no one really payed any attention to the guys. lol They were fun to watch and all (they gyrated nicely and it wasn't full nudity), but we were having much more fun being there as friends, having drinks, and playing the part of the excited female (a bit of a role reversal from how we imagined men behaved with female strippers). We'd act all raunchy, try to whistle by putting our fingers in our teeth, and generally just make @sses out of ourselves and have a grand ol' time. And then .... *sigh* they broke the magic. At around 10 or 11PM, they'd let the guys in. Turns out their "ladies nights" were just a marketing ploy to fill the house with women, in order to attract the men later and sell twice as many drinks. :p We'd leave then, because more often than not, the pickings were slim for those of us who were single. Who wants to meet up with a guy who shows up at the tail end of a ladies night, hoping to get a little action? :p

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Reine, it is my understanding that it is becoming more and more popular for GG's to hold their bachelorette parties at gay clubs - and more particularly - in the ones that also feature drag shows. I wonder if a similar - yet in some ways also different - dynamic is at play here.

They seem to enjoy the interactive trading of thinly-disguised barbs with the drag queens that is often part of their performance, and the b*tchier, raunchier, sarcastic, and pointed the jokes are, the more these bachelorettes seem to get a kick out of the whole experience. Kind of like being at a celebrity "roast", where no one takes themselves too seriously, nor is overly offended...

Granted, the more that copious amounts of alcohol are consumed at these "stagettes", the more the inhibitions are cast aside and the wilder it gets. But it also seems that these GG's feel safer and more comfortable acting out in such an environment, as the risk of being hit on by "regular" guys there is minimal. On some level, they also seem to regard these drag queens as just "one of the girls", and therefore feel free be themselves without the type of sexual tension that usually exists in "normal" mixed company.

Any comments from a GG's perspective such as yourself to better help us understand this?

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Originally Posted by ReineD

LOL. You're asking, in a CD forum, if you should engage in a bit of forced feminization with your wife, and go to a male strip club dressed fully as a woman as her BFF? And you're asking CDers, many of whom fantasize about men while dressed, what they think? :D OK.

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and I thought this forum was the last bastion of objectivity. Where's my head at?

Well Miss Jessica, not to worry then. Really, male strip shows are quite tame, you'll see women acting more like teenagers at a rock concert (it's all just a put on to have harmless fun, a few drinks and a few laughs), and the guys don't get naked. Personally, I quite welcomed the opportunity to temporarily view a member of the opposite sex like an object (or at least pretend I was), after having grown up in a family where my mother was the typical 50s housewife. It was rather liberating! :D

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Originally Posted by Leslie Langford

But it also seems that these GG's feel safer and more comfortable acting out in such an environment, as the risk of being hit on by "regular" guys there is minimal. On some level, they also seem to regard these drag queens as just "one of the girls", and therefore feel free be themselves without the type of sexual tension that usually exists in "normal" mixed company.

Any comments from a GG's perspective such as yourself to better help us understand this?

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Can't speak for other GGs, but I personally feel safe anywhere, whether it is a regular club or a drag club, whether I am there with my SO or with female friends, or even if I should go alone. There are too many people around for it to be dangerous, mind you I don't hang out at dives by the wharf. :p I don't understand why so many members here think that we feel threatened in any way when guys come on to us. Some GGs enjoy the experience, others become annoyed (depends on whether they're looking or not), and if they don't want to be hit on, I honestly can't think of a GG that would be so shocked by the experience that she would be tongue-tied. She goes to that club knowing it is a club and she knows that people in clubs come on to each other, and she is perfectly able to tell a guy that she's not interested and then just ignore him.

And on the topic of hootin' and a-hollerin' over muscular young men or drag queens, there's an age for that too. It was fun when I was in my 20s, but honestly, my youngest just started college and I'd feel awfully silly behaving that way over someone who is just a few years older than him. There comes a time when our definition of fun changes. :)

As to considering the drag queens like one of the girls, in my case, no. I don't know any women who dress like that, who put on makeup like that, and who appeal to gay men like that. lol. But, I do enjoy the costumes and the shows. One of the drag queens in our town is very nice, and when she's out of costume (this DQ is TS and not a gay male), then she feels more normal to me. But it's hard to look at someone in all that getup and consider them one of the girls. Besides, many of them are gay or straight males who do this for a living. They are not TG.

Use it as an excuse to reward yourselves and strengthen you relationship if that is what is needed.

I believe there has been millions of CD stories written just like this ... and cd's everywhere would LOVE for this to happen!! Good luck and stay safe in ATL.

Steph

Don`t pass it up. Go for for it girl

I say go for it. It sounds like fun to me and I would go if I had the chance. If you don't go you may regret passing up the chance forever. Of course, if you don't like it you never have to do this again, but will know more about yourself.

If that were offered to me, I would do it in a heartbeat!

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Originally Posted by JodyCD

I think I read this one on Fictionmania once quite a few years ago. ;)

If this is serious, then by all means go all out, and don't forget to be grateful for a wife, that accepts you, and clearly enjoys the domination aspect of a relationship that I'm guessing you like!

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My thoughts exactly. I've been to a "male review" and it wasn't much fun.

The question you have to ask is, "Will this make my wife happy?" I have never made a mistake when I made my wife happy!

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Originally Posted by JodyCD

I think I read this one on Fictionmania once quite a few years ago. ;)

If this is serious, then by all means go all out, and don't forget to be grateful for a wife, that accepts you, and clearly enjoys the domination aspect of a relationship that I'm guessing you like!

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My BS meter is quivering as well, but if this is real and genuine, it sounds like a great time. I would love the chance to go anywhere with my wife and be Linda for any length of time. I don't think either of us would ever think of going to a strip club, but restaurants, shopping, and sightseeing as girlfriends would be great.

if my wife would have done this... we wouldt have been divorced... your hedging on the idea why????

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

I must become her female BFF ...I will only answer as Miss Jessica for the whole time...this will include thinking and talking like her for the duration.
Should I go and be a women fully, or should I retain a bit of my male dignity?

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First I don't know what male dignity would entail. I think maybe you are feeling a little male indignity. Like you feel you may be attracted OR she might see something she likes. The first part of your post answers your question. She wants you as a BFF. How would a BFF react? In for a penny; In for a pound.

Go all the way...and what on earth is male dignity. Talk about an oxymoron! ;)

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

Go all the way...and what on earth is male dignity. Talk about an oxymoron! ;)

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:yt: :rofl: Ain't it the truth?

BTW my first thought wasn't that it was a fantasy, I thought it was a way her wife was trying to use to get her to back out

That trip would have been a dream come true.

Hello again and thanks for the responses...

This is really not a fantasy nor is it a real forced feminization scenario...geez, I already "willing" serve as my wife's housemaid once a week when the children are off to school. We learned long ago that fantasies were useless. We instead have decided to start living them! I have always had a bit of guilt with my dressing so perhaps being "forced", even in a playful way, somehow makes it easier. But in reality, I would crossdress with or without my wife's knowledge. I am lucky that I told her before we were married. I am also lucky that she does not have any siblings and has always wanted a sister...

Jessica

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

I am lucky that I told her before we were married. I am also lucky that she does not have any siblings and has always wanted a sister...

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Just so you know, although maybe some GGs initially take their husbands' femme expression as someone else (in other words they see the male & female selves as being separate), this doesn't last. Fundamentally, a person is the same whether they dress or not and if you and your wife are together a lot when you are dressed, she will come to see this too. I talk to my SO about all the intimate things that I wish to. And I had the same type of relationship with my ex. For example (using something girly), I can talk to my SO at length about the merits of an outfit I am thinking of getting, or watch a chick flick with her whether she is dressed or not. I could do that with my ex too, who is decidedly not a crossdresser.

Also, are you sure that you want your wife to see you as a sister? :p

One of the hardest things for me when I was first with my SO was going out in public and not holding hands or showing any public affection the way that lovers do. We didn't want to attract attention to ourselves by appearing as two women who hold hands, (for the same reasons that many lesbians don't hold hands in public) and this was the one big let-down, empty feeling for me. The last thing I wanted was to feel that my SO was no more to me than a good female friend. It was like trying to suppress my romantic feelings for my SO and it was difficult. We've been together for years now and like most couples we've stopped holding hands so much, so I don't quite feel the same empty feeling I used to and all is good now. But, if I should ever come to think of my SO primarily in a platonic way or like a sister, it would be time to move on from our romantic relationship.

Seems to me something is going on in your marriage that might bite you in your tush if you are not careful.

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

Hello again and thanks for the responses...

This is really not a fantasy nor is it a real forced feminization scenario...geez, I already "willing" serve as my wife's housemaid once a week when the children are off to school. We learned long ago that fantasies were useless. We instead have decided to start living them! I have always had a bit of guilt with my dressing so perhaps being "forced", even in a playful way, somehow makes it easier. But in reality, I would crossdress with or without my wife's knowledge. I am lucky that I told her before we were married. I am also lucky that she does not have any siblings and has always wanted a sister...

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If you weren't a CD, she wouldn't be able to force you even if she wanted to. But as you said, there are many dynamics that come into play when she "forces" you to do it, or when you have agreed to be "All girl, all the time", since it give here a sense of control and power and gives you a sense of "permission" that will make both of you more comfortable with the experience.

I suspect that both of you will have a lot of fun on this vacation.

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Jessica

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

Hello again and thanks for the responses...

This is really not a fantasy nor is it a real forced feminization scenario...geez, I already "willing" serve as my wife's housemaid once a week when the children are off to school. We learned long ago that fantasies were useless. We instead have decided to start living them! I have always had a bit of guilt with my dressing so perhaps being "forced", even in a playful way, somehow makes it easier. But in reality, I would crossdress with or without my wife's knowledge. I am lucky that I told her before we were married. I am also lucky that she does not have any siblings and has always wanted a sister...

Jessica

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There is nothing wrong with that. I'd be lying if I said my own "bs meter" wasn't quivering a little, but that's just because it comes across like soooo many forced fem type fictional stories I've read over the years. (The once a week maid thing does too) haha! But, if you are simply living the dream, and you and your wife are happy with how you guys live your life, then that's awesome! My wife and I live our own lives the way we wish as well, and I certainly won't pass judgement, besides it would be hypocritical, I spent most of my youth reading those stories after all. ;)

I'm not sure why you shouldn't be allowed to voice your thoughts on a public forum as some have pointed out but hey, that's the mods determination not mine. I find it amusing that many of us obsess so much about image, that we end up being the most prudish group of people I've ever come across. (Which I find ironic, because we are after all, men wearing dresses.)

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

If this trip goes down, I will be in complete stealth mode and likely be seen as my wife's sister or lesbian partner. I will completely assume the mannerisms and thought patterns of Miss Jessica, not as a bulky man in poorly applied make-up and poor fitting clothes.

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Miss Jessica, my SO and I are out all the time in public. She is the same height as you (going by past descriptions of yourself). She is slim and has small hands and feet (same size as mine), plus she has her own mid-back length, curly hair that he keeps tied at the nape in guy mode (which is fairly common when you work in a creative field), in addition to not having any beard shadow after having had laser beard treatments. She also has her own long nails and trimmed eyebrows. Her taste in clothes is impeccable and she's a pro at makeup. Her breast forms are the best you can find on the market and she also wears a waist cincher and hip & butt pads. She does not have flagrant male features like a square forehead and jaw.

People do know that she is not a genetic female. She's OK with this, since they treat her with respect for who she presents. You mustn't mistake an absence of comments about your presentation when you're out in public, for a belief that you are a GG. Most people are too polite to make comments, and we do live in a world that does not stigmatize CDers quite as much as a few decades ago (the gay rights movement did a lot to help this).

Transitioning TSs go to many lengths to rid themselves of their male gender cues by taking female hormones for years and also by having facial feminization surgery, and it still takes a while after this for them to not be read. You should visit the TS section and read the threads about this. Rare is the genetic male who can simply put on a bit of makeup, a wig, forms, and clothes, and pass himself off completely as a GG, even if he does not look like a fetish CDer. If anything, you're likely read as a TS, since most people in the mainstream do not understand the differences between TSs and CDs all that well.

Hmmm... I don't know the context of your relationship, but I agree with the posters who said something about S&M tendencies in the agenda. Why all these "stipulations"? Can't you just be yourself? Seems like a vacation to test your resolve to be feminine and en femme, including physical pain (waxing) and humiliation (salon nails that can't be easily removed and male strip club). But, if you are okay with it, then go for it, and have fun!

That is something I can only dream of. I wish that could really happen to me some day. I would more than happy with just a single night out as girlfriends with my wife, but I don;t foresee that happening any time soon. We expect to see a lot of pictures of your adventurs out.

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Originally Posted by whowhatwhen

Before you go, try to get your hands on some Canadian Tire money.
Show those male strippers just how much you love them by shoving 5 cent bills under their $10 bill.

;)

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OMG ,, What a small world ,, I have some of that Canadian Tire Money.

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Originally Posted by Miss Jessica

My wife has agreed to go on a vacation with me for four days, the only catch... I must become her female BFF to include a full body wax and a set of salon quality nails. Another stipulation...I will only answer as Miss Jessica for the whole time...this will include thinking and talking like her for the duration. We are looking at an urban vacation to Atlanta. Also, we are planning on going to a male strip club, taking shopping trips, and having a few salon sessions together.


I must admit, the male strip club idea has me a little nervous, but is equally intriguing. Should I go and be a women fully, or should I retain a bit of my male dignity?

p.s.- we have both had a few stressful years lately...do we use this an excuse to "reward" ourselves...

Miss Jessica

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loose yourself, go for it sounds like fun

This is a great opportunity for you to enjoy being totally 'en femme' with your wife's support! Don't question it. Go for it! Enjoy the time and know that there are many of us who would love to have such an opportunity!
Di

What a fascinating thread! We always interpret an op in our own personification, and it's been wonderful to watch it here.

In my case, my male side and my wife are a married couple. Tina is the girlfriend. By being a girlfriend Tina has been able to learn how to be a girlfriend! We don't use BFF but that would not be inappropriate!

I think this all comes down to a matter of trust. If they trust each other and know who they are, this will be a terrific vacation!!!

Good luck, keep the communication open, and be who you are!