Sissy vs Transvestite? Is there a difference? What is cross-dressing for you?

I'm new to the world of cross-dressing, and am not yet sure what "cross-dressing" is to me.

The idea of cross-dressing for role-playing as a sissy maid, or for BDSM sounds appealing. However I'm not sure if I would cross-dress on my own, or in the outside world.

I'm not sure if its just a sexual fetish object, or if there is more to it than that.

Those that have more experience, could you please share your experiences?

Did you start cross-dressing just as role-playing, but then it became more than that?

I never was interested in role playing, I started because at a young age I knew I wanted to be a girl.

You're going to get all kinds of answers on this one, Fred, as the reasons people dress are many and varied.

I started, mostly, with nightgowns, which is almost a classic fetish pattern. However, I tried moving from those into dresses, and found that I wasn't "turned on" as such, but I felt happy and comfortable, and something about the way it felt felt right. This led to more of these, and building the kind of presentation that could let "Amy" enter the real world...but not as a "sissy" or a "maid," but rather as a reasonably-competent woman. It goes both ways, too; now I can slip into a silky nightie and not go into immediate arousal, but just feel happy and femme. I guess this is "maturity," after a fashion.

- Amy

I don't know what cross-dressing is either, I just know I love wearing women's clothing. I don't have a conscious reason for it, that i know of, it is just a part of who I am. Wish you the best. It is one of those journeys that one starts and for most people there is not turning back. Dress at your own risk. Different folks approach it from different levels. The deeper you go the more fem it gets. Some find dressing a way of experimenting with their feminine side, others dive deep into all aspects of femininity.

Cross dressing is not related to role playing or BDSM. Some may CD during those activities but that is a fetish thing, not a cross dressing thing. I've never been interested in any fetish behavior. I am just a cross dresser.

To be honest, the 'sissy' thing never really appealed to me too much. Certainly at times it was a bit 'erotic', but interestingly enough as my 'girl side' has gotten stronger any interest in that flavor of material has diminished.

I started dressing as young child who had only the vaguest notions of what sex was. Thereafter, as i secretly dressed on and off through my twenties and thirties, I must say it was an Enormous sexual turn-on at times (and I wouldn't trade those experiences off for anything!). But now that I'm "older" I dress simply because I love to. I feel so much more at peace with myself now as my feminine self, even drawing on an inner sense of strength and equanimity that's not as available to me otherwise. I would imagine that many of us have grown through TV to CD to TG periods as we've lived our lives. So yes, it did become more than that, and I'm very thankful it did. Elfin

I have to wear womens clothing.... but I don't consider myself a sissy.... I don't get the whole sissy thing personally....

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Originally Posted by almostalady

I never was interested in role playing, I started because at a young age I knew I wanted to be a girl.

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I was/am into role play , to an extent (.....my little girl thing.....you know, human imagination), but I finally realized it had nothing to do with expressing myself as the other gender. That part got me to where I am now.

Nowadays , I just prefer to be just the average woman. It's the social side of me. It feels great!

Must confess, the role playing appeals to me - as does the BDSM; but I like to wear women's clothes because they just feel right.

There was a time during my teenage years that it was more toward the sexual end, I think many of this experience this, however now it is all about expression.

I started out as role playing. That's how I got what I needed with out owning up to the fact that I wanted and needed to dress. It's not that I want to its just part of the role.:o But I think she knew, anyway that was 31 years ago.

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Originally Posted by Shy Girl

I started out as role playing. That's how I got what I needed with out owning up to the fact that I wanted and needed to dress. It's not that I want to its just part of the role.:o But I think she knew, anyway that was 31 years ago.

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Truer words (for me, at least) were never spoken. At some point, however, I just wanted to remain dressed, without focusing on the arousal part. And, that's when it got scary, as I realized something much bigger was going on.

Xxoo,
Cate

There are many here for whom crossdressing is more about their identity and self image. But there are also many here who just dress for the fun, be it the erotic thrill or the wonderful feelings it brings. Or both. And that's ok. ; )

For moi, It's me being the true me. I have desired for over 50 years to be a woman, or at least to live my adult life as a female. I am trilled to be leaving this lifestyle. I have not transitioned and do not plan to do so.

Sissy dressing is a variety of fetishistic crossdressing. It isn't a synonym for crossdressing. Different people have different reasons for dressing.

I've never dressed for role playing, and I don't care for the sissy stuff. From little on, I dressed because of gender identity issues.

Carol

Okay fred, since you won't receive messages from those of us here on the forum, here goes. A fetish is commonly referred to as something required (an inanimate object, whether clothes, sex toy, shoe, whatever) in order to get sexually turned on, and without that object are unable to function sexually. So, that doesn't apply to the vast majority of crossdressers. What you write sounds like you want a submissive role as a female, with the attire, behavior, and all it encompasses. Remember, there's nothing wrong with that. Enjoy.

Hi,

Never did crossdressing as refered to here, or did role playing never did the male or female role did not know what it was to start with, or saw it as most people seemed to. what then was my role, how i saw it, or more like what i saw was, people doing things . there was no only males do this or that & women did other things,

To me it was ill do what ever if i liked some things say gardening i did it mowing the lawns or doing washing just did it sewing was good i liked that. no matter what it was oven mits or sewing skirts or tops i saw it as i can do this,

Clothes to me were ill wear what ever to keep me warm, though i hated male clothes,i would not buy them. Mom did, & then Jos, yet did not wear female till the time came to live & be what i have allways been a female, so those clothes that reflected who i am as a person became more this is who i am as a female, who has grown in to a woman. theres allways a part of myself that say's male a mix of both really,

What does it take to be a female, being born one liveing as one & being accepted for who you are as a person, then growing into a woman,

...noeleena...

Back in the 60's, when I was in elementary school, sissy was the worst "curse" word we knew. If someone called you that, it was like fighting words. I loved the girls frilly pretty dresses, and so wanted to try them on. I just kept my feelings hidden.

Not sure about the older definitions of sissy, but in the non-CDing world it is a pejorative term for feminine men. In the CDing world it is a type of fetish, for example dressing like a little girl in petticoats, or a sissy maid or other submissive female.

"Transvestite" is the latin form of "crossdresser" and both terms are interchangeable. For some reason, many crossdressers in the US believe the term is applied to a fetish crossdresser, but in truth, there are fetish crossdressers/transvestites and there are non-fetish crossdressers/transvestites. "Transvestite" is used quite a bit overseas. In most academic research, the term "transvestite" is used to describe men who wear women's clothing.

We are who we are and what we are. When we try to relate names and labels to our feelings, it becomes difficult sometimes. :)

From my experience (and I'm an old guy as _48 is my birth year), the term sissy refers to a male with distinctly feminine characteristics. It could be speech, how you walk, mannerisms, how you argue, what upsets you, etc., but it is in the context of a male presentation. Crossdressing does not necessarily have any bearing on how one behaves in male mode. I think you would usually be hard pressed to tell who crossdressed by observing their male presentation. You also may not be able to understand much from observing sissified behavior either. However, sometimes the 2 notions do intersect. I would guess that it would be a fairly low incidence as most here identify as heterosexual. And, judging by their activities, hobbies, etc. I would not guess that they are invested in sissy behavior.

I identify as a bisexual crossdresser. Many people in the population at large erroneously assume that they can always spot who is gay because they believe that all gay men have at least some degree of sissified behavior. That isn't true either. The community isn't like that. As always, there is a lot of misinformation floating around in general society.

I honestly never got the whole sissy thing either. And too many people use it as an insult anyway. I never saw myself as a sissy, I'm just a boy who likes beautiful clothes, be they male or female clothes.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

... in the non-CDing world it is a pejorative term for feminine men. ...

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It's not so much feminine as girl-like (as in female child) -- being like an adult woman wouldn't be called "sissy."

In this context, "girlish" is extended to include anything that is considered insufficiently "masculine." When I was growing up (1950's, 1960's), my interest in music (playing piano) was considered to make me a "sissy," as was my reluctance to get into fist-fights. The term is inherently misogynistic, since it's based on the idea that being in any way like a girl is humiliating and denigrating.

In fetish or CD contexts, I'd say it refers to anything that is exaggeratedly little-girl-like.

No role playing except when on stage.
Other times just wanted to be a girl, and good at it.

CDing to me is a release. I am a transsexual but I am still a guy not matter how much I hate it and that isn't going to change. CDing lets me live the dream, at least as close as I can.

Interesting that Fred posted only this thread, no intro. And something that was definitely prodding some oxen.

Sissy and transvestite are not even in the same neighborhood, and yet both are words used outside the community to be demeaning and disrespectful. Another you say EEther and I say EYEther thread?

I will await further threads before I think about this question. Call me jaded.

There's a big difference between what people will think of the terms "sissy" and "transvestite". Sissy can mean so many different things to so many different people. For example, a lot of non-CD community people use it in everyday language to mean a guy who is not very manly or someone who is a feminine guy, which translates into (for them) a weak guy and so they used as a pejorative term for a boy or man who violates or does not meet the "standard male gender role". Personally, I actually like to think of myself as a softer, gentler, "non-standard" feminine man and so if someone were to call me a sissy, I'd actually think of it as a compliment!

In some quarters of the CD community being a sissy is to dress in a very feminine and/or emasculated way. It's related to submission and feminization of a male person which is connected to a Dom/sub scenario. Some people see the term sissy as just describing an uber feminine way to dress, i.e a "sissy dress" is often made of satin or silk with lots of frills and lace etc.

Transvestite is traditionally the older term for a crossdresser. It's derived from Latin: "Trans" means to cross and "vestite" means to clothe. i.e. cross clothe or cross dress. So to answer your question: "Sissy vs Transvestite, is there a difference?" ... to most people I would say the answer is most definitely "yes".

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Originally Posted by Rachel Morley

There's a big difference between what people will think of the terms "sissy" and "transvestite". Sissy can mean so many different things to so many different people. For example, a lot of non-CD community people use it in everyday language to mean a guy who is not very manly or someone who is a feminine guy, which translates into (for them) a weak guy and so they used as a pejorative term for a boy or man who violates or does not meet the "standard male gender role". Personally, I actually like to think of myself as a softer, gentler, "non-standard" feminine man and so if someone were to call me a sissy, I'd actually think of it as a compliment!

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I agree with Rachel and I have no problem with the term "Sissy" because I really consider myself to be a Sissy. I also take it as a compliment.

Growing up I was called a sissy all the time because I wasn't tough like the other boys. It was meant as an insult. I agree I am a sissy but it hurt to be called one.

There is a distinction between being a sissy (ie. exhibiting feminine traits like compassion) and dressing in frilly "sissy style" clothes. Just because they happen to use the same arrangement of letters does not mean that they are related.

Sissy is a style of dressing that I don't really relate to, but that is fine. Many who enjoy sissy dressing might not understand why I enjoy being in public in a simple T-shirt and Capris. Vive la différence!

I started with just the desire to wear my mother's slips because I liked the feel of the nylon fabric. Slowly I progressed to wearing her dresses and undergarments and attempted makeup. I never viewed cross dressing as role playing as a 'sissy maid.' I now like to dress totally en femme when I feel the urge. I also like being manly.

I would say, if you're only interested in being a 'sissy maid,' then I'd say you have a fetish. There is nothing wrong with playing that role. You'll probably encounter women who think just the thought of a 'sissy maid' is demeaning to women. I am conjecturing a woman may think, "Ok, you like to emulate a woman, strange for a man, but, at least you're emulating women in ordinary roles. But, to emulate a role of a sissy maid? Is that what you think of women?"

You may find it very difficult to venture out into the world in sissy attire. I know there are fetish BDSM clubs for men and women who enjoy that role. If you enjoy it, then partake.

As you can see, you are getting a wide variety of answers. I started out just wearing panties 16 months ago because it just felt right, and put my mental side at peace, and i became a better person, and lost quite a bit of anger. No role playing, no sexual fantasies. I have spent the past 16 months trying to figure out why it had this effect. And now I know who i am and why I must be feminine, still trying to figure out where i am.

Barbara

Barbara,
A truely heartfelt response. HUGS !!!

Never been into role playing (of course I haven't gotten my French Maid uniform yet)...
For me this is all just an expression of ME. It's how I have always felt, more female than male, and how I love to be. I'm just an average woman at heart, nothing exotic, just me.

Evryone has their own story. For me it started with sexual overtones. Now, I dont feel right dressed in male clothes, and when I slip the forms into the bra cups and get dresed for the day, everything is right with the owrld.

When people refer to me as a sissy, my wife or I will generally correct than and say "No; she's the housewife"

So I am guessing this hit a nerve with many of you since you are still feeding it. No profile, no photo. One post. Hasn't been back since. Inflammatory question and people still answering. Well played Troll

I have wondered if that is the case on a few of the recent postings. I hope not.

In my opinion, a sissy is like a little girl, and a transvestite reflects his true level of maturity.

I've read the responses and I do not think anyone has viewed the question or post as inflammatory. I've seen some postings here cross dressers wearing French maid outfits. There have been threads on role playing. Yes, the posting may be from a troll, but, then again, there are many times I read threads that make me think, "Sure? You expect us to believe that?"

Without asking the question, the person may never know where he stands in the spectrum of cross dressing/fetish dressing.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

So I am guessing this hit a nerve with many of you since you are still feeding it. No profile, no photo. One post. Hasn't been back since. Inflammatory question and people still answering. Well played Troll

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I have fetishes, and I have a maid's outfit, but I don't have a fetish for maid's dresses or sissy maid role playing. I think the outfit is super-cute and super-sexy, and I like to wear it. When dressed in the maid's outfit, if I were to be called a sissy or sissy maid, I wouldn't be offended, because that's how I'm presenting. I'm a normal guy who likes to dress up occasionally, so I don't consider myself a sissy (unless dressed, as I said above). However, if my buddies with whom I do guy stuff (watching sports, hunting, fishing, building, etc.) knew I crossdressed, especially in a maid's outfit, I would surely be so labeled.

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Originally Posted by Stephanie47

I've read the responses and I do not think anyone has viewed the question or post as inflammatory.

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So you don't feel that someone calling a Transgender a "sissy" or to a lesser degree Transvestite (thank you media and movies for making the word something to laugh at) as inflammatory? And if you read the first page you will see that Reine made that same point.

But of course so many here find the word transgender to be an insult too.

As far as seeing themselves on the spectrum how did they associate transvestite with a fetish when it is used in Europe as another word for Crossdresser. Now Sissy I can see (and yes I know there are several members who fit that fetish) but the broad "Transvestite"? But why not "French Maid". I will await Fred to return with a profile.

I've done fetish role play stuff with a Dom and that's fun but CDing been a lifelong thing for me. I only explored the BDSM part way later in life to see if there were answers there. For the most part, it's about the feeling of being more like a woman. Sometimes, I think that in a sense, since we have an X & Y chromosome, we actually are half woman already. Women are X & X so they are way more extreme without even trying. Most of what our culture (America) values is men that are right in the middle--just the right amount of sensitivity mixed with the ability to hunt for food. Of course, this is a narrow definition of gender and for some, it's not about balance but exploring the edges. I was never drawn heavily to the overly masculine side. I tried when I was young though because I was afraid of what being feminine might mean. However, the female was always waaaaay more interesting to me. Maybe that's where the challenge is for me.

I was a bigot my whole life though thinking that I needed run from my female side because it was inferior. Now I see that it's just a continuum. We celebrate those beef bus guys who compete for muscle. That's just as extreme to me as someone who passes as femme. Why not celebrate that also. Really, there should be a magazine to go with Flex called Swish or Velvet or something like that. I'm talking equal time here.

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Originally Posted by FredLofthefuture

Sissy vs Transvestite? Is there a difference? What is cross-dressing for you?

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[SIZE="2"]A crossdresser (MtF) is the same thing as a transvestite. The former term is acceptable in this country, while the latter term is more widely used elsewhere. Some people in America hate the term transvestite because it carries historically homosexual overtones, but I like to think of myself as a “tranny” irregardless of any bigotry floating around. A sissy is someone who is essentially making a statement against masculinity, or male expectation, by exhibiting (via clothing, comportment, or actions) a certain level of effeminacy. However, you can be a sissy and still be a hero, and, in any event, the sissies WILL inherit the Earth. I don’t mind people thinking I’m a sissy – mission accomplished, if you ask me...
:clap:[/SIZE]

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Did you start cross-dressing just as role-playing, but then it became more than that?

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[SIZE="2"]Playing the “role” of a girl in my lifelong autobiographical play sounds like fun, but I really just like to wear women’s clothing. Meanwhile, I am bonded to the State...:straightface:[/SIZE]

I'm new to the forum, and am not sure how I can make it so that I receive messages. I understand that that's what I fantasize about. I'm just curious if I would like cross-dressing outside of the fetish world. Perhaps I just need to buy some cloths and try it out. I just wanted to see if there were other people who use cross-dressing as a fetish object, and for comfort or pleasure on their own (not only for erotic reasons).

Trolls come and go and kind of hard to tell one at first but I think this person qualifies as one.
I sort of sensed this so I never responded.

I think the role playing as a sissy maid got me started into dressing. The more I dress I experimented more and more to the point where I'm at now. Glad you posted this I have been racking my brains out on how I got into wearing women's clothes. As growing up I couldn't stand anything about women's clothes or wouldn't touch make up with a ten foot pole. Now it's the opposite.

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Originally Posted by Tracii G

Trolls come and go and kind of hard to tell one at first but I think this person qualifies as one.
I sort of sensed this so I never responded.

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I'm new and even I got the sense that this thread was sort of an oddity on these boards. Heh.

To be perfectly frank, in some ways you are ahead of the game if you just keep your crossdressing in the bedroom.

If you want to identify as a "sissy" and get involved with scene please feel free, but that's a word I really really hate, and mentally moving from sissy to transgendered caused me decades of pain.