Fantasy v Reality

Hello everyone
I got dressed up this morning but quickly reverted back to guy mode and it got me thinking about the reasons why I like to dress like a girl.

I was thinking in general about the huge spectrum of cross dressers that use this forum. My train of thought quickly went on to the subject of fantasy. When I dress I have a preconceived idea of how I should look and no matter how hard I try or how careful I am when I dress en femme I could never achieve the look.

For a start my fantasy girl I emulate is 15 years my junior. She is a lot slimmer than I and stunningly attractive she is also very cool and popular. So yes she is a million miles away from the middle aged bloke that sometimes wears make up and a dress.

Before dressing I do see this fantasy woman in my head she is someone that I am attracted to enormously and the excitement hits me and I have to dress up to be like her. Today after dressing I didn't feel disappointed but as always the person in the mirror is the person looking back and that's the reality. The fantasy of the whole process is the reason I dress to begin with

So all I can do is fantasize about this beautiful sexy cool popular girl that I am underneath. So I pose a Question is dressing for you about fantasy or reality and is your inner girl achievable?

In the long run crossdressing is a feed back/feed forward process which essentially means we get out of it what we put into it more or less. :battingeyelashes::)

Hi Andrea, The great thing about Crossdressing is that we can be who ever we want to be.

We can be who we want to be only in our heads for most of us. I love looking down and seeing the long legs in heels and the boobs. I look in the mirror and the fantasy all goes away. I've thought of giving it all up since I can't look like I want. But I'm still holding out for a make over service and see what could be done with professional help. Of course, that would mean telling all to my wife. She does not like me without facial hair.

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

So all I can do is fantasize about this beautiful sexy cool popular girl that I am underneath. So I pose a Question is dressing for you about fantasy or reality and is your inner girl achievable?

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Andrea
When there's a will...There's a way:)

For me it's now the reality of who I am inside.
Years ago it was the fantasy of being that beautiful model in the magazine that everyone was wild over. Then I came to accept myself for who I am and now I'm no longer the "girl of my dreams", just the girl I dreamed I always was.

There is a certain amount of fantasy all the time about dressing.
We would never make progress without it.
Just because we think we look butt ugly when we look in the mirror, with a little care and acquired skill we can turn time back a little.
That is the best part about dressing when you are older.
The things you can achieve with makeup and clothing choices.
I use my imagination a lot to wear those contemporary fashion styles.
When I was twenty I did not appreciate I was at the peak of my career.
Boy! I do now.

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

So I pose a Question is dressing for you about fantasy or reality and is your inner girl achievable?

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Let me start with the last bit "is your inner girl achievable?" ... I think for me the answer is "yes" and it's a sort of heartbreaking sweet-sorrow.

For many, many years I was inexplicably driven towards wearing specific things: panties, pantyhose, & tights for the most part. I'd had a secret stash ever since I was a very young child and it wasn't always a fetish-type thing, though it grew into that briefly during adolescence, then I grew right back out of it. In any case ... it just didn't make sense. I didn't understand ... Why am I doing this? it doesn't make sense?.

I'd look in the mirror and see the dude, and I'd think to myself well, there's no way I could ever be anything other than this. None of the pieces made any sense, but I still couldn't stop myself. I had to wear those girly things where nobody could see. A primal part of me just needed to and I couldn't understand it.

Until finally ... that one day that I really tried.

I looked in the mirror and there she was, sure with a lot of first-timer rough edges, but still ... there she was. I could see this other dimension of myself that I'd thought was at best some phantasm of my subconscious standing there in real life. I could touch her, when I moved, she moved. She was Me, and it was wonderful beyond belief.

So it's about fantasy I suppose, in that it makes an abstract part of me real if only for a short time.

I don't know though if she is necessarily all that different from me. She's not overtly sexy, though she likes to look nice. She's not the popular, cool person because that's not who I am, and she's not particularly younger than me. She's just me ... with a different form factor, if that makes sense :-)

Hi Andrea, Of course it's a fantasy, but mine is to look like an attractive women about 10 years younger than I am. I think I'm able to reach my goal most days. I do feel like I would be cooler and more popular as a woman too. Some of my outfits are for a much younger girl and that makes for a bigger and different fantasy on days when I'm in the mood for that. We certainly do have the option to be many different girls...Hugs Jaymee

I'm very fortunate. In drab I look about 10 years younger and in drag as much as 20 years younger. Last Friday, a 57 year old gentleman made the all time world record guess of 27 years younger than my actual age. Wow. I was sprinkled with "pixie dust" as a child and have had to endure the "Peter Pan complex" of not growing up my whole life! Actually, I quit smoking 15 years ago, and gained 20 pounds which helped to fill in the wrinkles that would normally decorate my face.

When dressed and madeup and crowned with some great hair, I really like the person looking back at me in the mirror. She's pretty close to my dream girl! Oh sure, her chin is too wide, and her nose lists to port a little, and she's really got no waist at all, and her hands are kind of big; but there's just something about her that I like. I think she looks great and she likes me too! We sort of compliment each other.

I just let the other me take over and what the end result is I go with it.
Fantasy? Too some extent it is I suppose but for me its an extension of who I am so the fantasy factor bears very little to how I feel.
I still see the guy side when I'm dressed to a degree but if its a really good make up day most of him is forgotten when I walk out the door.

Yes, it seems to be an escape into fantasy, for me.

OH that is a good question Andrea. For me it is fantasy. I have caught sight of her in the mirror, every once in a while. That does not keep me from trying. If I ever did Crissy just right one time, I would have to give up cding!!

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Originally Posted by mfakley

Until finally ... that one day that I really tried.

I looked in the mirror and there she was. I could touch her, when I moved, she moved. She was Me, and it was wonderful beyond belief.

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I could have copied your entire post, but decided to highlight just this part. You expressed so well how it was for me too.

Andrea, my wardrobe isn't outlandish - pretty much "girl next door". When I dress, I'm not trying to project a fantasy dream girl. Yes, I know I'm a guy, so anything other than that is fantasy, but the image in the mirror is not a costume. It is exactly the woman I would be if I hadn't chosen to be just a part-time woman.

Wendy

Candice is reality, not fantasy... Maybe not genetically but close enough.

Yeah, it is a tremendous spectrum here, so everyone has different reasons. I don't really have an image that I am trying to meet. Unlike some, I'm not trying to look like a particular image of a woman, or expose what is underneath the skin. At times, it would nice to imagine physical changes, but they'd be more an addition, rather than a transformation of what I am. For the most part, if I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I'm pretty happy with it.

I know what I want my body to look like, and I'm getting there very slowly. But I've never had a facial image for Michelle. For me it's been "here's this blank, or very boring canvas. Let's see what we can do with it."

Well...
I have to say I was excited to meet the girl in me. I had no idea what she looked like. I had no idea what her mannerisms were. I knew nothing of her, save the fact that she was inside of me all that time, waiting to introduce herself. It was my wife who coaxed her out. It was my wife who named my female self, and found the look that suits her best, to this day.
I had no pre-concieved ideas or expectations of who would be looking back at me through the looking glass, that first time.
As for fantasy...the reality came first, so fantasy simply followed suit.
When dressed, I am Nikki. The girl in the looking glass is me. Is she attractive? My wife seems to think so, as she is head over heels in love with Nikki, every bit as much as she is with me (as The Guy).
I was breathless when I beheld Nikki the first time, and so far; the fantasy has rooted it's foundations in the reality that presented itself before me that day.
So having said all of that, in order to at least in part; validate my own perspective of your question, I offer this as my answer:
It is about realizing as much of fantasy possible by using reality as the building blocks. The inner girl is achievable, absolutely.

Hi,

Maybe life is a fantaisy, or when you hurt it becomes very real .

Im not beautyfull on the out side, so its not clothes that make me what i am, or the makeup or what ever one is suposed to wear to look beautyfull , the mirror tells only the truth, of what i look like,

Dressing for me is just my normal womens clothes , except when im dressed for one of our three groups, of different times long ago.

In one group some have found info of some who they would liked to have been like male or female though most stay with thier own gender, how they lived & what they did, & how they dressed,, & some look pretty good as well. lovely garb = clothes,

Im staying with my background as i would have been had i been born in those times, Prussian & one of my names is all so Prussain so i could use that of Von Reutchthos, so more history to look up.

Do we live in a fantaisy or reinact a times past that was real.

I live my life as it is & how i see my self i dont try to emulate another, that to me would be a false way to live my life, & what people see is just the real who i am part of why im accepted as a woman. i dont need to have a story based on a made up life ,what people know is how iv lived all my life, so for me its the ...real... deal.

...noeleena...

I can never be what I feel I should have been. Simply not possible. What I can achieve, is the feedback, visual and tactile, that tells me that I am her. I've found all the clothes, accessories, shoes, wigs and such that I need so that when I'm dressed, I really do feel like I'm the fourteen year old girl that part of my mind thinks I'm supposed to be. As long as I avoid mirrors and anyone who would force me to look and feel the body I have, the delusion is maintained. for good, or bad, for substantial periods of time, I get to believe that I am that girl.

I feel I have achieved my inner girl. Call it fantasy if you will but when I see a GG dressed a certain way perhaps whilst out in male mode I want to dress as similar to her as I can as soon as possible almost becoming her double.

Maria

My biggest fantasy is to be about hundred pounds les than I am now.
To be a more slender woman than the BBW that I am now.

I think that your situation is the same we all experience in girl or guy mode. We think we know how we look or want to look, but we cannot truly see us as others do. It is easier to see ourselves by looking in the mirror, but I still tend to think of myself as thinner-younger-better looking than I am no matter what I am wearing. Think of listening to your own voice on a recording and how it is not how you think you sound, for me it is the same thing.

That said when I get dressed up, in my mind's eye, I am a skinny, attractive young woman no matter what the mirror might tell me about reality. That is part of what makes it fun.

Thanks for all of your comments
There really is a huge spectrum of wonderful people on this forum. For me its what makes life more interesting. just imagine the boredom if everybody was the same. I dress therefore I am. To quote a greater man than myself.

For me the only fantasy is the hope I could be like this all the time. I do not see a fantasy girl in the mirror I see myself. I remember the first time I completely dressed up with a wig and makeup and the whole deal. It was a changing day in my life. For the first time in my life I saw....me! When I present as a man that is the disguise. I am the girl I see in the mirror. I always have been I just never saw it before.

I look in the mirror and see a 61 year old. I want to be that woman. I "wish" I could go back and be able to be a 16 year old girl, and grow up female, but that was stolen from me. I am comfortable as Leah, and live as her every minute possible. She's far from beautiful or sexy or anything else, but she's all I have, and I've come to totally accept her.

Leah

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

So I pose a Question is dressing for you about fantasy or reality and is your inner girl achievable?

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It’s more about fantasy. The “girl” I visualize is very hard to achieve… :sad:

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

So I pose a Question is dressing for you about fantasy or reality and is your inner girl achievable?

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My attempts at emulating a woman is about realizing my fantasy. My inner girl happens every time I dress if only in my own mind.