I can’t stop worrying about other members sometimes.

I made friends with another member but worried about her because she was going very fast from joining the forum to major changes in her life.
We talked all the time through PMs. I would get a PM every day from her. I tried to slow her down because she seemed to be in the dreaded pink fog.

But her posts and the PMs have stopped now. Nothing for weeks.

So I worry again. I say again because this has happened to me before.
She has probably just lost interest in the forum but I start to think the worst.

We are real people here and I get involved sometimes with other members problems.

Silly but I can’t help it.

Suzy, That's just the price you pay for being the compassionate , empathetic and feminine person that you are.
P.S. Don't change !

Some just go too fast and not much you can do about it.

One of the downsides to being in touch with our feminine side is the compassion we feel for others
If we were just normal guys I doubt we would give a second thought to someone we were talking to on the internet. But that is what makes us so unique. Yes we are men but we are caring men and the world could use some of what we have.

andrea,
Very well said hon. HUGZ !

I have tried to slow down a person or two on here with poor results.And if they have a need to make friends,it seems that they get caught up in it that much easier..

Over the years, I've seen some go fast and ended up just fine, so it isn't always a bad thing, all depends on the individual, their needs and what else is going on in their life. We need to keep in mind that we shouldn't try to tell others to live their lives the same as we live ours.

Different strokes for different folks. ;)

Carol

Carol,
Very true darlin, very true. :)

It seems that some of us repress this side for so long, that when we take that first step the floodgates are released. All you can do sometimes is offer advise and hope that they listen through that dreaded pink fog.

Suzy - It's caring and compassionate people like you that make this forum a safe and welcoming place for us girls to share our feelings and seek advice.

-Michelle

One of the drawbacks of having relationships over the internet is that a person can drop from sight, and you might never know what happened to them. This has happened with our real life cd support group. Girls will disappear. Because of wanting to remain anonomous, we have no way of tracing someone who disappears.

Just a fact of life in this cyber world.

Jodi

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by suzy1

Silly but I can’t help it.

---

No, definitely not silly. It's good to know that someone is thinking about others because it is so easy to develop a serious case of tunnelvision. I'm sure that the people you have communicated with didn't have a sense of what was really happening until you prodded a bit.

I have only been coming to this forum for about six months, and I too have met a couple gurls who have joined after me and apparently left already. Sometimes I wonder what happened too them. I hope its all good.

Suzy, why am I not surprised? It's just you - thank goodness.

That's how it is with good friends Suzy. Just know that I consider you one of mine Hon.:)

We should never stop caring. Often times there are some very hurting people here. Though much of it seems like good times, there are quite a few girls struggling to understand and they need to know they are not alone, that's why this can be a safe haven.
Carry on Suzy!
Hugs,

That happened in my professional field as well. One invests a great deal of ones self in the other person and when they disappear you feel that you may have failed them in some way. You didn't of course, and they might have been worse off if you had not tried. Chin up old girl!

Suzy it just shows you care.:) We are living in a "me" world. It's a good quality I wish more people had. Nothing silly about it at all.

Ive done that too.
I like talking to people, and when they vanish off the forum
it can be a worry. I suppose you just have to hope they are ok, and that they will contact you if they need to talk.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kate Simmons

That's how it is with good friends Suzy. Just know that I consider you one of mine Hon.:)

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MichelleR276

Suzy - It's caring and compassionate people like you that make this forum a safe and welcoming place for us girls to share our feelings and seek advice.

-Michelle

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by andrea lace

One of the downsides to being in touch with our feminine side is the compassion we feel for others
If we were just normal guys I doubt we would give a second thought to someone we were talking to on the internet. But that is what makes us so unique. Yes we are men but we are caring men and the world could use some of what we have.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marlena-4now

Suzy, That's just the price you pay for being the compassionate , empathetic and feminine person that you are.
P.S. Don't change !

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marleena

Suzy it just shows you care.:) We are living in a "me" world. It's a good quality I wish more people had. Nothing silly about it at all.

---

Wow Suzy, i don't think i could say anything better than these ladies have said and it worth reading agin what they had to say to you hugs girlfriend.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by andrea lace

One of the downsides to being in touch with our feminine side is the compassion we feel for others
If we were just normal guys I doubt we would give a second thought to someone we were talking to on the internet. But that is what makes us so unique. Yes we are men but we are caring men and the world could use some of what we have.

---

Andrea I so agree with you.
Suzy, Since we're a family I believe thats why you feel the way you do

I've had friends here and on other forums drop off the face of the earth and then I bump into them on Facebook and they are fine..... to date I've only had one friend drop from site because she was in a bad accident.... most of the others just lost interest or more commonly got pissed off at someone or something and just left..... so in my mind I no longer worry about them.... they are all fine and having a great life somewhere.... out there... we just aren't a part of it......

I hope for your sake it is only a temporary absence.
Different situations arise within a family and the dynamics do change.
Friends that I have do touch base with each other enough to know that we are still there.

There's a member that I've always looked forward to seeing here, her posts were always helpful and upbeat, but she disappeared all of a sudden, and her Flickr account went silent at the same time. No response to emails either. That's when I really worry.

Carol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by suzy1

We are real people here and I get involved sometimes with other members problems.

---

You really have no idea if you're dealing with a real person or not. Anyone can be anyone on the internet.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by famousunknown

You really have no idea if you're dealing with a real person or not. Anyone can be anyone on the internet.

---

So true. We are only truly real in real life....maybe

I worry about a few of my friends who post stuff on my girl fb page.

I agree, anyone can be anything on the internet but I disagree we aren't real unless we meet up in real life. I read things here and there and wonder if it truly is a sister trying to come to terms with things or an admirer trying to get their rocks off.

I personally enjoy the interaction with my sister's and the GG's here on the forum. We have a great community here and shares a lot of things we otherwise might not and certainly couldn't before the internet. With every bushel though there are bound to be a few bad apples, and not every train stays on the tracks.

All we can really do is offer some small support and wish each other the best on this ride ;)

Frankly, I know many caring men who are compassionate, level headed, and are not cross dressers. I also know many women who are Grade A bitches and backstabbers. Being compassionate is hardly a 'downside' of life. You're giving cross dressing men too much credit for being compassionate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by andrea lace

One of the downsides to being in touch with our feminine side is the compassion we feel for others
If we were just normal guys I doubt we would give a second thought to someone we were talking to on the internet. But that is what makes us so unique. Yes we are men but we are caring men and the world could use some of what we have.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by famousunknown

You really have no idea if you're dealing with a real person or not. Anyone can be anyone on the internet.

---

I think you make an excellent point. However if we take this to its logical conclusion then we are no longer a support forum are we?

Kudos Andrea, your summed it up beautifully. Suzy1 you have a good heart but there are many that come and go on these forums sometimes they just move on and other times life just gets in the way and they don't have time. I know I have been in that situation where other things take a priority.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by EllenJo

Suzy1 you have a good heart but there are many that come and go on these forums sometimes they just move on and other times life just gets in the way and they don't have time. .

---

You make a good point EllenJo :thumbsup:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by suzy1

We are real people here and I get involved sometimes with other members problems.

Silly but I can’t help it.

---

It's not Silly at all to worry. While people do come and go, it is sad when we lose contact with a longtime internet friend or acquaintance. I've lost contact with more than a few over the years.

One thing you might try is seeing if the person is involved in some other online trans community.

Veronica

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by VeronicaMoonlit

One thing you might try is seeing if the person is involved in some other online trans community.

---

Gee Veronica - know of any?

:)

Kathi

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by suzy1

I think you make an excellent point. However if we take this to its logical conclusion then we are no longer a support forum are we?

---

It is what it is. When someone says they're "worrying" about someone on this forum....unless you've met the person in question in real life, you really have no clue. I can assure you that there are more game players right here in your midst than you can shake a stick at. Words in cyber space. Truthfully, it's not much more than that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marleena

Suzy it just shows you care.:)

---

And then there are those who say that a person who cares has low self esteem. I said it and knew it was true for me.

FYI I've done the pink cloud. It lasted about five months. It was a great ride. A large luggage case of great clothes that I'm not likely to wear for a while but knowledge that I can wear them and how. A touch of the feminine side comes back to me whenever I want it. I love fabrics and make kilts, and elaborate miniature draperies.

Pink Cloud University. It was like going to school for me. I'll always be partial to the school colors...or colours. I can wear pink, perhaps, but only with accents of black and some other striking color.

No, Suzy, caring is not a weakness. Not caring is the weakness. And those damn boys just don't care. Male side calling. Have to go.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by famousunknown

It is what it is. When someone says they're "worrying" about someone on this forum....unless you've met the person in question in real life, you really have no clue. I can assure you that there are more game players right here in your midst than you can shake a stick at. Words in cyber space. Truthfully, it's not much more than that.

---

I totally agree with this. I've hung out with CD's in real life that I don't know anything about, I wouldn't even recognize them in "male mode" so would you consider someone a friend if you didn't know their real name, or what they really looked like?

People on the forum are only real in the sense that they communicate back to me but I have no way of knowing if they are being truthful. They could be 50 year old men in dresses as far as I know. ;-)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Gee Veronica - know of any?

:)

---

What do you think? Of course I do, have accounts on a few, mHB, trueselves, pinkessence and crossdresserclub most notably, but that is what "Let Me Google That For You" is for. :-)

http://bit.ly/WMB5iE

http://bit.ly/WMBce6

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by famousunknown

I can assure you that there are more game players right here in your midst than you can shake a stick at. Words in cyber space. Truthfully, it's not much more than that.

---

I don't know, while I have no doubt there are some, I don't think it's "more than one can shake a stick at".

Veronica

Sephanie47 is right. There are compassionate non CDing men, and cruel men. Kind and compassionate women and, mean, nasty women. I used to take in homeless people who begged me for a place to stay.
Most were bad experiences. I have had four or five non crossdressing men and women die in the last month or so. Some who live alone, or in hostile marriages are very lonely, including me. But, i am a little wiser now. I cannot live another's life FOR them, anymore. My life is still a dysfunctional work in profress, too. I will have to go care for my intolerant, unhappy, miserable 92 year old father again , in a week from now. I will need support then, or
or i might end it all. Suzy1 , you are a lovely person. Pink fog nearly got me in a lot of trouble several yrs ago. I hope your friend balances out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by VeronicaMoonlit

I don't know, while I have no doubt there are some, I don't think it's "more than one can shake a stick at".

Veronica

---

That's the beauty of this. You can believe in all the fantasy you want. That's probably why fictionmania is so popular.

Suzi, its near imposible to get someone to slow down when they make up their minds. All you can do is support them as best as you are able and roll with the results. I dont get anyone from here pming me at all other than to say hi. On FB I know a few girls out there, but again, communication is sporadic. Keep helping cause they need people like you out there ;)

If you exchange PM's with a member as Suzy described you should know if they're the real deal. Then there's the photo gallery to back them up. I doubt many people put fake pictures up.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marleena

I doubt many people put fake pictures up.

---

I would never say that. I personally know people who have had fantasy lives on the internet for many years. Why do you think I make such a big deal about being real? Melissa Hobbes are my legal first and middle names, I want people to know that even if you don't like what I'm saying, I at least have the courage of my convictions. I can never run away from my comments here or on FB or my blog, I am unquestionably and verifiably the real deal. Anything less is suspect.

Well Melissa I can't fathom why anybody needs to be fake. I do have friends here that I consider real friends but haven't met them in person. I don't need to fake anything except orgasms... eventually.:D

Oh..and I know you're the real deal and I like that about you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marleena

Thanks mr. grammar police.:) I'll leave it just to bug you.

---

That wasn't about grammar but whatever works for you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by famousunknown

That wasn't about grammar but whatever works for you.

---

Then we agree to disagree as usual...

Good of you to invest your time in others, Suzy. I think that's very noble and sweet. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to be OK with giving more than we receive.

To the point made in this threat about being real, some of us lack whatever courage it is that let's us come out fully. Beside, if a man puts on a dress and no one sees it, did it really happen?

One thing to bear in mind, it's really easy to drop from connections on the internet. What you're describing is a common experience, unfortunately. You can have real friendships, but people often don't treat them equally, some people more than others. And it's not a male/female thing -- I've known women to seem close, but change/drop out when something in their real life rises. Oftentimes, for both men and women it means an SO has shown up, so that can be a good thing. Could also be a sudden new job or getting accepted at a doctorate program, something that abruptly absorbs their life for a while, and then when things calm down, they find new ways to spend heir time.

As for the pink fog, it's a good idea to try and slow people down until they get their equilibrium.

It's unfortunate if you think you've developed a connection and they just drop it. Online forums or games are easy to do that with, and the online friends can be collateral damage. Sometimes, they even miss the people they've left behind :)

It's not unusual for them to show up again. In my experience, only occasionally did something truly bad happen. Sometimes something small.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marleena

Then there's the photo gallery to back them up. I doubt many people put fake pictures up.

---

I wouldn't say fake pictures are common, but we see them now and again. there have been a few to try that here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Badtranny

I personally know people who have had fantasy lives on the internet for many years. Why do you think I make such a big deal about being real?

---

A person I considered a friend on these boards lied to the boards in general for quite some time. She claimed she was out to her wife/family and her wire/family was supportive

That turned out to be not true, though it was the person herself who admitted it. I accepted her apology, but lying did affect how I saw/see her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marleena

Well Melissa I can't fathom why anybody needs to be fake.

---

Compliments and attention. You KNOW how the younger CD's and TS's get fawned over here because their perceived as more passable. Also the moer passable CD's also get more attention. The prettier you are the higher you are in the "pretty hierarchy" here.

"I'm not a pretty young thing but the PYT's get all the compliments and attention...I'll just take this stock model photo and alter it a bit in photoshop."

Here's a good resource:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/gog/index.html

And a famous in the transcommunity example:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/transk...ira-triea.html

Veronica

Veronica I'm not naive enough to believe fakes are not here among us. The thing is the mods/admins/members do a good job of weeding them out. As for fake pictures I reported one myself that was obviously a picture of a GG. It was promptly removed. I think all MTF's would love to be beautiful enfemme, I know I would. However what you see is what you get when I post a picture and I think that's more the norm here.


Suzy was referring to people she's PM'ed and has gotten to know them. I've made good friends here myself that are the real deal because we've shared multiple PM's and they have friends here to verify.

I guess I just don't want to worry too much about fakes because it ruins my time spent here among good people. That's it.