Sorry have to vent.

Well there's no better place then here to vent. Here we go again same story different situation, are you ready to here a story of a no win situation. Here we go, yesterday my wife went shopping and told me she found some winter things on clearance and asked me when we get a chance she wanted me to try them on for her so she can see how it looks on someone else, and she knows I am always happy to help her out with that. Later in the day I asked her what we were doing that night because on Saturdays we usually go to our friends house and because most of our friends have younger children they prefer we go to there homes.She told me she had a long week and wanted to stay home and go threw her summer cloths and that I can try on and have whatever she didn't want and I could try on the dresses she bought that day. I thought I hit the jack pot. Having two children in there early twenties when I go out on Saturdays they also go out and the house sits empty from 6pm to 2 or 3 in the morning. Here comes the good part, well on this night both kids didn't go out they both stayed home, that was unbelievable first time in 5 or 6 years that both we were home and both kids were home. My wife told me to put out the white flag, give up trying because what happened tonight we both had a better chance of getting hit by lightning then both kids home on a Saturday night. I try not to get mad because its not fair to my wife it's not her fault and she also did feel sorry for me, so I hold it in, don't get me wrong I love my children but I can't believe I can't find a few hours to myself during the week. Maybe I should take my wife's advice and give up trying and put out the white flag

You don't have a Lock on your Bed Room door ?

Not white. A nice floral pattern.

Damn, I hate when that happens.

I really feel for you Maria because I was in that situation once.

Your children are in there early twenties? Then hopefully it won’t be that long before they leave home and make there own way in life.

Just think how great things will be then.:)

Count your blessings. The wife is accepting. A rare occasion the kids are home.

Unless you're planning on coming out or going out dressed, I'd keep your flag hidden, Maria!

It's simply one Sat. nite, rite? We ALL make some sacrifices for our "craft"!

There are a thousand stories in X dresser city.

This has been one of them.

I would find out who the children had up in their bedrooms for a start.

I say enjoy those kids while you still have them. Break out the snacks and a good movie or board game. :)

It is because there will be a full Moon in a day or so. It is called Lunacy, The disease of the Moon.
Maybe next time, they will not have that dreaded Moon disease.
Rader

Oh no I hope they are not starting a new trend, not going out!:sad:

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Originally Posted by Andy66

I say enjoy those kids while you still have them. Break out the snacks and a good movie or board game. :)

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Yeah. That. :iagree:

Before you realize, and all too soon, your babies will be gone. Enjoy them. Cherish them. Think of them first. There will be plenty of time for you once they're gone.

Kathi

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Originally Posted by Jodi Anne

Oh no I hope they are not starting a new trend, not going out!:sad:

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Now now let's not even think about that. Your scaring me.

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Yeah. That. :iagree:

Before you realize, and all too soon, your babies will be gone. Enjoy them. Cherish them. Think of them first. There will be plenty of time for you once they're gone.

Kathi

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Mine are grown and on their own now,and I wouldn't trade a minute of their childhood for anything.At the time I wished I could have more me time,but looking back now,it went so fast it's like a blur.I cherish the memories.

It's one night of your life...a wink of an eye in the entire time you will spend on this planet, so don't let it get to you.
Don't take this as a problem...enjoy your kids, grown or not. Someday they won't be there.

Count your blessings having a supportive wife. My storage shed aka my dressing room has voracious mosquitoes and bush flies but they'll shortly give way as winter looms to short and freezing days. Its what we have to do when CDing is abhorrent to our wives yet we want to stay married.

If you have children or are married, that's going to happen from time to time. Even if they don't live at home any more. Just remember there's always tomorrow, or next week, or next year (sorry, Brooklyn fans).

As they say in spanish...caca pasa. "s--t happens". With a wife as accepting as yours I would not worry about such a minor detail. With your kids in their 20's have you considered telling them. They may well already suspect it.

Just get the kids jobs so they leave home and you live happily ever after. Or until they get married and have grandchildren that come and stay weekends.

I understand your frustration, but the bigger picture is a good one - you have your children and a very supportive wife! What could be better? They will soon leave the nest, I'll bet, and you'll treasure the time and memories when they were around. In reality, I'd say you are lucky, and it is only one night that did not go as planned. There are many more nights to look forward to having your time with your wife.That's the bright side!
Di

Thanks for your responses and making me feel like a heel. Your all right maybe I should start looking at the positive of things, thanks to you all for your advice, I'd be so lost without this place.

Hi, this may not help but you have a very understanding wife. I have hêard that staying in is the new going out!!!

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Originally Posted by Maria 60

...Having two children in there early twenties when I go out on Saturdays they also go out and the house sits empty from 6pm to 2 or 3 in the morning. Here comes the good part, well on this night both kids didn't go out they both stayed home, that was unbelievable first time in 5 or 6 years that both we were home and both kids were home.
... don't get me wrong I love my children but I can't believe I can't find a few hours to myself during the week.

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Man, can I relate to your situation! My two are 22 & 21, one graduated from university last spring and the other will graduate this May (hopefully!). Both have part-time jobs but don't make enough to live on their own. One of my kids spends a handful of nights at his girlfriend's place, but the other one stays home way too often. She was jilted by her boyfriend and hasn't quite recovered emotionally to start going out again, no matter how much we try to counsel her and encourage her. But that's another story for another day.

The point is, she's home on Friday and Saturday nights probably 3 weekends out of 4, and that really puts a damper on not only me wearing pantyhose openly (one of the few things my wife will tolerate), but it also eliminates any intimacy between my wife and I. Since her bedroom is only about 20' down the hall, and let's just say the walls aren't very soundproof. I know some of you wouldn't care who hears you, but I do care, at least with my kids, even though they're both adults.

As I'm typing this, she texted that she's on her way home from work. So I had to run upstairs and put on some sweatpants, as I am wearing pantyhose. Although I also love my kids dearly, there are those times I admit I'm looking forward to the empty nest!

Try that for months! This happens to me EVERY weekend. My wife says "Jessica and I are going out Friday night." Then, I'm getting called in to work, moving things around, wife is sick, then, I'm sick, kids sick, cars breaking, motorcycle (work related) breaking, family issues, and weeks were I put in 80 hours in a week! CRAZY! I threw in the towel LONG ago. I know I will never have time to myself again until my wife gets back to work. Other than that, I know I won't have ten minutes alone.

Wow, that's utterly intolerable. Something I see and shake my head over. Whose life is it anyway?

I know nobody reads this sort of thing, but hiding as a crossdresser is non-productive. I'm out, and my only problem is what to wear, where to go, and who to go out with.

End of my rant.

Maria,

It won't be long until you will gladly sacrifice a Fem night for a chance to visit with your children, and grandchildren.

I feel the same as you, but now the kids know to call first. "You might not like how I'm dressed!" They're grownup, I let them deal with my grownup issues, and I deal with theirs.

And yes, I'm happy to shed the pink now and drab-up (partially) for an evening with family.

Michelle

Hi Maria, I understand your feelings on this. A lot of the time, it does seem like the cards are stacked against us almost daily. But we all know that we are strong inside, we have had to be strong all of our lives, for our lives are not easy at all. Never give up the hope for another great opportunity to come by. I know it's hard, but DO NOT give up. I used to feel the same way at times but for different reasons. Many years ago, I wanted the step daughter to go away for a while to give my then wife and us some private times. It was almost like she was doing this on purpose. I would most days have to get up at 4am. I was waiting around and having hopes that she would go shopping like she did a lot of. On nights when she was going nowhere, I'd give up my internal plans and go to bed and go dead asleep. Some days I would go see my parents, then get home around 11, tired, and going to bed, wife sleeping on the couch, step daughters car gone when I would get home. I'd ask my then wife, where's the daughter? Wife would say, oh she went to her BF's house, she just called and is on her way home.

Back in those same years, I found myself laid off, well, at least I can become Tara for a while. Step daughter would never leave. The two of us sat at home together all the time. Then and it was every time, I would just take off for a few hours and would return home, the step daughter would be gone too, and would return right around the time her Mother got home. I could have won bets on this. I knew something was up. The step daughter would always return with so many shopping bags too. I would ask, where did you get the money? "Oh I had saved it" she would say. It turned out, that when I would leave, then she would go into my bedroom, which was against the rules, and help herself to some of my 401K money. So that's why she couldn't leave when I was there.

But on becoming Tara, I had another home 50 miles south where I would go for the weekends sometimes.

But Maria, just do not ever give up. Maybe go buy your children some movie tickets on a Friday night that must be redeemed at one particular time. And make sure Mother in law get her groceries on Thursday. I remember the story you told of where you were right in the middle of getting dolled up and the you mother in law called with car problems and you had to take it all off to go help your Mother in law. I feel for you though, I really do. Been there many times. But I never gave up, don't wave the white flag,ever. Nowadays it's just Snow White and me, and I can get up any day and be Tara all day long. Things and situations do not always stay the same. But when your lucky day does come, we all want to hear about it. Here's praying for you.

Tara D. Rose

PS: if we lived closer you could come and visit Tara and the 2 of us could get all dolled up and prance and dance.
Peace my friend.

Most people don't keep a 401k in the bedroom, they either invest it or put it in an IRA...unless it would fit in a piggy bank.

oh my lord I feel your pain.

email me at [email protected] would love to vent to.

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Originally Posted by Momarie

Most people don't keep a 401k in the bedroom, they either invest it or put it in an IRA...unless it would fit in a piggy bank.

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That's right what you say there, about "most people". I had to do it that way for I didn't want a family court snatching it from my bank account in divorce. But my ASSets may not be as big as yours, but it's all invested quite nicely for me now.

Maria,

I wanted to respond to this because I can relate in a desperate way. I am new here and really appreciate this sort of forum for venting these frustrations so here goes! Lol. I have three children and all are under five years old. My wife is only accepting of my girly side 30% of the time. I have few friends and even fewer that know I am trans, my kids are always home when I get up in the morning and when I get home. My wife doesn't work and I have literally ZERO alone time. Completely NONE. One of the only places I even exist at all is the Internet. I am constantly depressed, anxious and insecure about myself. It's hard and I have no idea what I can even do! I also go to college, so two nights a week I am away from home from like 8am to 8pm so I started just wearing a tiny little bit of makeup to my classes. Which boils down to light brown eyeliner, a little powder and mascara, but I wash the mascara off as soon as I put it on which is ridiculous in and of itself but hey, it makes me feel better. One night after school my wife noticed the eyeliner and we got into a HUGE fight and almost broke up because I was wearing it to class...I love my family and I love spending time with them. I wouldn't trade them for the world but everyone needs alone time, at least just a little...I can't even poop in my house without the door flying open every few minutes! Even when it's locked! :-/ so I feel for you dear. My heart is right there with yours...xoxoxo

I have two 20-something children living with me, and I routinely dress in front of them. I figure if they don't want to see me in a dress, they can get jobs and move out.

Hey, I give them food, clothing, and a roof over their heads. That's enough. I'm not going to give them my dressing time too.

One day your kids will be gone and you will have too much time alone. One will be on each coast. You won't be able to get everyone together unless it is a crisis or a wedding. Whenever you have both of them home, have them decide the family activity for that night, time and jobs permitting. One day you will get a call. "Remember when we did ..............? It was such fun! I miss that! I hope we can all do that again!" And you will pay #@&& to get them at home together at the same time. One day you will wish for the inconvnience.
When my daughter moved out to go to colledge 3 1/2 hours away, it took me a week before I had the courage to go in her room. When I looked in, I was trashed, in tears, and I am NOT a crying type.
There is a reason they say "Absense makes the heart grow fonder."
Billie

Sigh!

Wife, 35 year old daughter and 45 son WITH wife living at home - and they stay in most nights.

Thankfully, there is the River City Gems and their socials.