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Hey everone,
I just wanted to say that I have made a major break through. I finally have come to accept my crossdressing as part of me. I have fought this so hard by going into denial so many times that I lost count. I have purged too many times. Just the other day I just realized I am hurting myself by not accepting me. My stress has come down and I am much happier.
Thanks for listening and thanks for a wonderful site! I used to feel so alone but not anymore.
Congratulations, hope every day brings more happiness as you evolve.
great feeling isnt it..... i came to accept it in my life recently when my daughter surprised me with some shoes....talking to her after she said she was proud of me and it didnt bother her at all.......she even told her best friend
yesterday i got into an arguement with my unaccepting wife who once again called me names as she has for years but instead of going all embarrassed i turned round and told her i would wear what i want
writing this i am underdressed and she knows it but hasnt said a word........small step
so you go girl now youve accepted it yourself enjoy it......
Self-acceptance is the key to winning the loving acceptance of others. You go girl!
Welcome to the club girl. And welcome to the family sister.
Now just get on with it and have fun!
Hugs from Suzy:)
Congratulations! This is a very important step that will help both your emotional and physical health.
Congratulations and welcome to the club.
Just remember; You must learn to crawl, before you can walk. You must learn to walk before you can run. Take your time and enjoy yourself with every step you take on the path you have decided to travel.
Love and Lots of Hugs,
Jamie
Congratulations! What a great step! The acceptance will have to be renewed from time to time, and it will grow to become, deeper, more reliable, and radiant!
Valerie
I know the feeling and congratulations. I never went through purges or any of that. With me it was a very rapid progression like a dam bursting and in less than year I found that thing that was always missing and have come to embrace it.
Way to go Jennifer!!!!
XOXO
Lisa
Getting in touch with your deep feelings is one of the most important things you will ever do Hon.:)
Hi Jennifer, You'll make several breakthroughs along this life journey. I have a long history myself but the greatest breakthrough was to hear my 30-something daughters tell me that my ex told them the real reason we divorced, and they've told me that they're okay with anything. I got over it but it's really nice today that I have some old school friends finally know why I was so shy in school. It's really liberating! I'm a CD with ideas of really being TS. I live as a woman as much as I can. I don't know for sure how my future will evolve. For you, just take a step at a time and live each day to the fullest! I wish you well!
Cheryl Ann
Hi Jenn, Lets hope that you learned from your mistakes .
Congratulations! acceptance is liberating. It is also a difficult thing for so many of us.
Ciara
Thank you all for your kind words and support! Usually I feel ok with it but it will last a short time before I try and be someone I am not but now it just feels consistently good like a weight off of my chest.
Well done Jennifer! Note to self - no "in de Nile" jokes please!
Way to go, Jennifer!
Hi Jennifer,
Indeed this is a big step -- congratulations! Self-acceptance helps get rid of much of the guilt and anxiety. Now just follow your star wherever it leads...
Thanks so much for the continued support! It is very much appreciated!
Congratulations Jennifer!
It took me decades to come to the level of acceptance you describe, i.e. hurting myself by not acceptating that part of me.
This forum is a wonderful place for support, understanding on so many levels, and, acceptance, both internally and externally.
Kate
Now that you realize that you have been wasting time purging I hope you start to progress better.
All the best.
I totally understand how you feel. Self-acceptance is a very difficult thing for me to find as well. I have being seeing a therapist who has helped me realize that CDers, TG, and TS are born and that we have no choice about the feelings that we have.
The therapy has greatly reduced my stress level to and has helped my wife realize that I cannot just “quit” being a CDer. This is who we are.
Thanks to everone for reaching out for their support. A very good therapist told me about Triess about 19 years ago. I never went because I was afraid and in denial. I thought if I just forgot about it or tried to absorb into more guy stuff it would leave me but I was wrong. Time to have fun and stop livng a lie!
Good for you,Jennifer.It took me a while to accept it too.Fought and denied it for years.Once I did accept it,I felt like I'd been reborn and am now happier with myself than ever.
Not accepting yourself has a huge impact on your life...you don't notice how much.
So how did you come to accept your self? What's your story? I'm in therapy trying to get over the deep shame that I still feel on this thing that is a part of my life. Any advice for somebody who is still trying to build confidence?
Congratulations it was hard for me to accept this. I thought I had issues and realized that I did but being a cross dresser wasn't it. I'm a different person now that I came to terms with this.
Way to go Jennifer!
When I was in your place, I finally accepted this truth about myself and it changed my life. I was in a bad place, and now I'm happier than I've ever been.
I truly hope you feel the same.
Michelle
Yes, and isn't it ironic that sometimes when the need to assert our feminine side becomes too overwhelming, we have no choice but to simply "grow a pair" - particularly when dealing with an intractable, controlling, and manipulative SO. And as you have found out, when we confront such bullies head-on and draw our own line in the sand, they usually fold like a house of cards....Quote:
Originally Posted by bobble143
I recently arrived at the same place and it is a great feeling. My therapist had me list all the reasons that crossdressing was a 'problem' and one by one helped me address them. In the end, it came down to picking up my things when my sons come over and realizing that I am hurting no-one, sleep better en-femme and am feeling much better about myself in general. I now dress every day after work, have an appointment with Mary Kay consultant on Wednesday for a facial and instructions on how to apply makeup and am making plans to go to Southern Comfort in Septmeber. The best part is that I am not stressed about any of it. It is just who I am... :)
I hope you continue to enjoy your journey as much as I am enjoying mine.
Hugs
Shelby
Thanks for all the continued support and kind words. Ossian asked me how I came to just accept the crossdressing instead of fighting it? I just stopped punishing myself for enjoying myself. I really am not hurting anyone. My thoughts are my own and it is just how I am wired. I couldn't change the desire to dress anymore than saying I have given up liking a good pizza...it's not gonna happen.
I made the connection sometime as a young boy with the typical panties and the sensation mentally and physically was like everything just fit. (no pun intended) I went to Jennifer when I was feeling good as well as blue over the years. She has been a good friend to me. She helps me stay focused on who I am. I have not always been a good friend to her. I have tried being overly macho with trying to suppress and it comes across as a joke. I have denied her to my wife saying that it was something I used to do. I purged and purged some more. The craziest thing I ever did was enlist in the Air Force thinking that would help.LOL Three and a half years of trying to be someone I am not. The thoughts and fantasies just came right back with a vengeance. I actually thought it would work and if that is not being in denial is then I dont know what is. LOL The only person I am hurting is me and I am tired of it.
These days I am consistently enjoying my own thoughts and whatever fantasy comes my way. The other day I started feeling low and guilty about it but I was proud to stay on course which is a major breakthrough. Funny enough I am from a family of people who can't for the life of them enjoy themselves for too long. Negativity and doomsday awaits them and it really is toxic and a stupid way to live. The light at the end of the tunnel is not always a freight train. If you trust things will work out they usually do. There will be bumps in the road but they usually are just bumps. I am also learning to lighten up and stop taking myself too seriously. Another way that has helped is that I know a lot of people who are downright miserable in their lives. They have a lot of regrets. They wished they did this and the other but for some reason never did. They haven't forgiven themselves and they feel they missed the boat. Quite frankly some of them have especially if they really wanted to travel and now beccause of ill health they are not up for it. They may have the money but the opportunity is now gone. It is a shame. Being me and being happy is the number one priority. I have to be me because everyone else is taken.