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I really would like to meet with some of my fellow, CD friends in person. What was it like, the first time that you met a fellow CD in person? It is something that I really want to do and I have not followed through in doing it. I am just a little apprehensive about the first meeting.
Thank you for any support or suggestions. I spend more time thinking about Cross Dressing than actually doing it. That needs to change.
Actually, My first meeting was a group meeting way back in 2001. I had decided to attend A Renaissance meeting and join the group if it worked out. It was good and I hung in with those folks for their monthly meeting for a number of years following. This gave me the confidence to get together with others one on one to socialize and lunches and chatting.:)
I recently met another member on this forum. We did meet in guy mode but looking back I should have at least came in girl mode. It went really well and after we picked out a new wig for me we talked for a while. I say do it!
When I visited a big city and went to a wig shop that works with major league drag queen crossdressers, a customer came with ten of his wigs to prepare while he was flying out of town work. This was the guy who sits way in front of the plane. He seemed so...plain. A few years younger. He had no need to meet me. He was in civilian boy clothes and I was in girl dress but not mind getting a make up lesson. We chatted as well as possible, for a few minutes. Both of us were forcing small talk. What stands out to me is how unassuming and inconsequential this meeting had been. I would love to go to a place where "us" girls can get out for a night. Oh, but for a large city.
I joined this forum in 2010. Shortly thereafter I was contacted by another member who lived about 40 minutes away. Her name was Tami. Each of us was familiar with the other's town. We agreed to meet at my place dressed and what a truly amazing experience it was. She was gorgeous and we sat and talked for an hour or so sitting face to face like girls rather than side to side like guys. We took pictures, even took a couple on my balcony! Finally we agreed to go out together to an LGBT club in another town to the south. She would come by and pick me up the following Friday. That first time out was magical. I met a few other CDs, a couple of drag queens, and this gorgeous girl walked all the way across the bar to compliment me on my strappy pumps. The only ones I owned at the time! She disappeared a year or so later and I miss her terribly, but she got me out the door and the rest is history.
Not all the CDs you may meet on the forum will be so gracious. Some will ignore you, some will talk big and never show, some are complete BS. Not to worry, there are gems out there like Tami, who can change your life.
It is a bit like learning to ride a bike.
Once you have done it it seems a lot easier.
I met a number of drag queens in my first foray into the outer world.
They just grabbed me and took me out there.
It can be just as awkward, or just as easy, as meeting anyone else. The one thing you've got going for you in this meeting compared to meeting any old stranger is that you know you share at least one common interest already.
For most of us the first time was probably filled with plenty of nerves leading up to it, but after that you get to the same kind of interaction you'd have with anyone pretty quickly. You'll soon know if this is someone you'd enjoy spending time with.
-Bree
Try to find a local suport group. You will meet some wonderful people who are willing to help.
Kelley
I like the way Bree put it. We are a slice of society, so from a personality standpoint, it isn't any different then meeting anyone else. Some will be pleasant and some will be stand-offish as mentioned. My experiences have been predominately positive. Any that had the potential to be negative, I could tell before even heading towards meeting in person.
The one thing is that we share a common interest. This will sometimes pull people together; sometimes it won't make a difference. But I have met some of the most wonderful people because of our common interest.
My very first time was meeting Kathi Lake. It was a great and fun day. Little did she know the monster she was creating. Now, all of my best friends can be tied to the one event where I signed into this forum.
I joined two local groups. I have met over 100 "ladies" and most of them are very nice and a few are really good friends I wouldn't want to have missed meeting.
I agree with others in this thread. Meeting another crossdresser is amazing. Chatting about dressing on the internet is one thing but face to face discussion of similar topics in person is quite different. Meeting another who shares your passion and feelings about dressing is great.
RE: Not all the CDs you may meet on the forum will be so gracious. Some will ignore you, some will talk big and never show, some are complete BS. Not to worry, there are gems out there like Tami, who can change your life.
A few weeks ago I received a PM from another member in my area. Asking if I wanted to meet them. I am not out to the world, and other then a few drives in the car am not out at all. After thinking for a while I responded that I was interested. That I had never been out dressed. And asked what they had in mind. As a side note I mentioned that I was straight and in a committed relationship.
I never received another response. I looked at the persons profile, they are a long time member but almost no posts. Made me wonder if they just troll looking for sex partners. I don't know? But I do know that the world is full of all types of people.
Be Careful! And try to have fun!
I go out frequently to LGBT friendly venues. I am always approached by TG people, asking questions or giving compliments, but i am also approached by people who appear to be "just another one of the guys"... Only to find out that they know me from here or another photo/forum site.Quote:
What was it like, the first time that you met a fellow CD in person?
Almost all of the Cd's i have met while out and about, are usually in Drab. However when i do see another CD....And they see me....I always introduce myself.
(yeah i know...I break the rules...i dont need a lecture on clocking another TG person.)
But The very First time i met another CD....It was great, it gave me the confidence to know that there really are other people like me out in the world.....
Now its hard to keep me home on a saturday night.....
-Donni-
We're like anyone else. I met a girl downtown at the club on Saturday who was polite enough, but not really interested in making new friends. Then I met a different girl at the club last night who was really friendly. We shared a lot of stories and chatted until we parted ways. Meeting a fellow T-girl is just like meeting anyone, except, maybe, that you feel you can be a little more honest? You don't have to worry about them judging you for what you do, although they might call you out on your shoes if it is warranted! ;-)
I have two members from this forum twice. Once alone with the two and once with my wife. The first meeting was my very firs time out and interacting with the general population. I reached out to them the first time because I needed and wanted some support that first time. We had a great time. We seemed to hit off, beyond our one obvious common interest. Like all first meetings, there is a chance you will not hit off. And by the way, it was made clear before we met that this was not a hook up. Before your meeting ask any question you like. The second time we met, it was a larger group with my wife, as mentioned, and their dates for that evening. We went to a broadway show, dinner and had a really good time.
I also met a fellow member in Las Vegas who had declared themselves "bi" and in that case, I made it clear that this was a platonic meeting and she had no problems with that. We had a great time just hanging out.
Like all things, be safe, try to get to know them before you meet them and when you meet, make it a public setting. Have fun
Fortunately this Forum provides an excellent way to meet sister crossdressers. You may not hit it off with everyone, but the more you get into circulation, the sooner and better the chance that you will make some true friends - maybe the closest friends you'll ever make, given the unique bond that makes us so different - and if you're lucky you'll get the experience the joys of a girls night out, nothing like it!
Thank you for all of the replies so far. I do see a common trend in the responses, that I will need to be upfront about the meeting, it is not going to be a hook up. I never considered that factor.
This is why I asked this question in the first place, to gather information from your personal experiences. I realize that every meeting will not make an instant friend and meeting in a public place should make for a safe common ground to find that out.
I have never regretted joining this forum and I have gained many wonderful online friends so far. I just need to meet some of my friends in person to be able to really open up.
Keep the comments coming, and I will read all of them.
Thank you,
I have met several from this forum and others. I have no problem meeting first in guy mode. If one can meet that way and have a decent conversation, then meeting dressed up is that much more fun. As Bree said, it should be no different than meeting anyone else in guy mode for the fort time when meeting to discuss a common interest. Go with the flow, diplomatically ask the questions that you want answers to and enjoy the moment. Also, trust your own instincts, they will be more accurate than you think. Good luck.
I have only met one other member of this forum in person. We met at a pub in London, in male mode. I don't recall that we even mentioned CDing.
While I don't necessarily have a lot of friends here, I have met almost half of them FtF. It's really amazing to meet someone like you, and be able to talk about how it started, where you are now, and how you got there.
For me, I felt safer meeing in public rather than my house or hotel room. And after I met a couple of girls, I could ask one of them if they knew so and so.
The first girl I met in the parking lot because I was afraid to walk from the parking lot to the car and to go into the restaurant alone.
So, make sure that you are comfortable with the arrangements in advanceand be clear if this is social or sexual.
Great question Rebecca. I almost meet some CDer's at a get together in Vegas years ago but I just wasn't ready. I've always wondered what it might be like. Part of me thinks it would be awkward. I'm probably over thinking it. I enjoying reading the responses.
My question is do these meetings take on masculine, relaxed tone. Men dressed as women talking about sports and drinking beer. Or are they generally more feminine, with everyone in "character", sipping white wine and talking about clothes. Of course, I generalize and something tells me it depends on the company. Both scenarios are appealing and scary at the same time.
Marlene, from my own experience the conversations will go wherever they want to. Sometimes you may talk about CD things, like makeup, clothes, getting out of the house and neighbor hood, other times about just being out, and probably the majority about whatever we did yesterday or during the week. Now, the first time you meet someone, there is that natural getting to know you part. Since we have this unique side of us, there may be more time spent on that. However, if you meet that same person multiple times, the conversation actually gets a lot more "normal" and, yes, that includes sports, cars, and women.
At the first time I met another member of this forum I was very nervous as I hadn't really sorted out my own feelings about myself. She was very careful to help me feel comfortable and when we met I was in male mode and she was en femme.
Since then we've become fast friends and get together whenever we can. Of course it's best if we're both en femme, but sometimes circumstances demand that one or the other of us be in drab and that is fine too.
I have met quite a few in the past week through a social, support group.
It has been an astounding experience, the welcome, acceptance, and the visual experience too!
For me, joining a local group has allowed me to meet people that truly are part of the sisterhood and definitely not trolls. :)
It is a safer way to meet like minded souls with a large measure of security and you will not feel so vulnerable.
Rebecca
I my experience I've never met another dresser that was overly: aggressive, pushy, obnoxious, boring, or nasty! And, I've met so many since coming out of my closet on line over 5 years ago. Most, I find to be quite remarkable people.
Don't be paranoid of anyone u meet on regular CD sites such as this. I missed meeting a few who could have become friends, locally, when I first came on line. Because I was worried they mite "hit on me"! Sigh!
Do be paranoid of men who want to meet u. Or, anyone that u meet on your fem Facebook site!
I'm new at this(64yrs old)2yrsxdressing and I have been venturing going in public,walked thru the mall,go to my therapist
enfemme most of the time.My wife is okay with me and we go to local LBGTCD club together,nice to have a person to talk with. Two weeks ago I went by myself to a drag show(Bella Streets Broadway Bombshells) but really didn't meet any one
( still terrified).
This past Friday went to the same club to hang by the piano bar.Felt more comfortable singing and talking to everyone.
I guess I could say officially met another CDer we were both dressed prettyi nice.
Eydie actually sat next to me at the bar.We talked and sang about two or three hours.I felt like a teen on his first date.
We exchanged numbers when we left,didn't go home together oh we'll.
Yeah that was pretty fun,I will contact Eydie again.
I am comfortable at this club (RainBow Mountain in the Poconos)and am looking forward to going more often
JackieOhNo
I have met several but only 1 from this site. I spend most on my time on Flickr. There the gurls all want to have sexual relations. But here it is much tamer. The few I met from Flickr I had great experiences with just coffee at a shop or lunch or even had dinner with one. Then the two others we met and boom we making out and going at it and they both did oral on me and I stroked them it was the best times of my life last year. I am hoping this summer repeats itself. It's all what you want to get out of it Friendship or more. But have fun and be safe.
Since I'm only out to like 5 ish people (and only will think about dressing in front of my SO), the idea of telling someone else seems terrifying. But I know that if I ever do it would be really nice to connect I person with someone who can relate and can be more natural around.
I've met many from this forum, and can say that it's been a wonderful and rewarding experience. We've met both dressed and drab. It's allways a great time to talk about our journey through life. I would encourage anyone to take the opportunity. The best therapy you can have for the price of a cup of coffee or a meal . :)
Someday I hope to meet another CD in person. BTW, these days I spend more time writing about crossdressing than actually doing it – back in the good old days (before I joined this site), I was a veritable Kathi Lake…Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebecca W.
:battingeyelashes:
I have never met a fellow CDer in person. However, I do believe I traded "looks" with one at a DSW shoe store a few days ago.
I have met up with a bunch of T minded girls from this forum. It is all good! Some you warm to and some not so much,but it is always a good thing to meet others from the same playground. Just do it!
In my experience, it has been mostly girl talk. What you're wearing, where did you get it, etc. Also talk about wives and SO and what they think about you crossdressing. I've also met wives/SOs of crossdressers, maybe half a dozen or more and a couple of unattached GGs who just like to hang with us.Quote:
Originally Posted by marlenesexton
As a good example, you see a lot more hugs than hand shakes when a new girl arrives.
Like anyone else you may meet, some girls you may really hit it off with and others not so much. I've "recruited" several girls into our DC Sisters group, either met online or some other venue.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogina B
Thanks for the insight Steffi, I guess it would make sense to talk about the things that you would both relate to. Especially since there aren't that many people to openly relate to.
Luca
If you don't know many people that you can openly relate to, you can make a choice to change that.
I've attended the Keystone conference for the past two years. This year they were about 450 CD/TG/TS girls there.
I'm a member of several local groups that often have Girls Nights Out with 15 to 30 girls in attendance. We always try to arrange a special reception when an out-of-town gierl is in town.
I've also made arrangements to meet with other groups when I'm out of town on business.
And I've also made arrangements to meet several CDs one-on-one in guy mode, because that's what works.
I have met three from here Amanda Q,Jean Marie and Nicole Erin and were very nice.All very different but sweet people none the less.
You pretty much talk about family stuff and regular things most everyone talks about. We are regular people right?
I joined a trans support group and have made some great friends there too.
Set guidelines for the meet up so both know where you stand about hook ups.
Always check the persons profile because you never know and never answer a Craig's List add for a meet up because you have no idea what they are looking for.
Remember you don't have to dress up you can meet in guy mode too.
I belong to a group in Sacramento, CA call the River City Gems. They have a monthly meeting where newbies and ol' timers meet in drab and get to know a little about each other. It is meant for girls like me who haven't come out yet, or are still anxious and the meeting acts to bridge the fear of "am I the only one".
I have gone on to four of the RCGs socials and still attend the "Drab Gab" meetings. The group is great, either in drab or femme. I have had lunch with another girl in this thread, in drab, and while we did talk about some girl stuff, we mostly talked about being 66 and what to do with ourselves.
Don't be afraid to reach out to another girl. Just remember, they were where you are now, just a while ago!
Thank you for all of the nice replies so far to my question. It will help me to get out and to meet some fellow cross dressers. Sometimes, you just need the support of friends to help you to dress with more confidence. I will use all of your advice to make the first meeting, a safe one.
Thank you very much!
Years ago I met someone from close by in an ad in Tapestry Magazine. We exchanged quite a few letters before we both felt comfortable meeting each other. We met halfway at a MacDonalds. We had a pleasant chat that lasted almost two hours but what disappointed me was that she didn't really want to talk about the things we had in common. I was greatly disappointed in that. We continued corresponding and I did see her a few more times after that. One was at a support group meeting where she came in drab. I was in my womanly best that night. I wrote her I think two more times but she never got back to me again.
I also met two other CDers at about the same time. The one wasn't afraid to share anything while the other one had some very strange ideas. The first one was having marital difficulties and after about two months I never heard from her again either.
Most of my experience meeting others involves transgender support groups. I think the support groups are above board, safe for you and a great way for your significant other to meet other SO's.
But one-on-one face-to-face meeting with another crossdresser is a whole 'nother animal. You'll be fine while you are in a public place but going to the other person's home or hotel room is fraught with peril (depending on what you seek).
1) I set up a drab meeting with a person I had corresponded with via snail-mail (before the internet). When he was visiting my town, we met in the lounge at his hotel. The conversation gave no hint of his intentions until he blurted out that he wanted us to go to his room where he would get dolled up, then perform a sex act on me. I declined his offer and never heard from him again.
2) A friend from a support group visited my home so she could get dressed for a speaking engagement at a local college. I did not hear any odd sounds from the bathroom, but after she left, I could smell something that had gotten away from her. I never did find it but could smell it for weeks.
3) I met with a lovely t-girl after months of emails. We met at her home before going out for dinner and shopping. Upon returning to her home, a bit of small talk led to a kiss that was much more passionate than I expected from a gal pal.
Elsa
I'm a firm believer in talking a lot. If they can hold a steady conversation then I would meet. Last thing I want to do is meet someone that can't hold a conversation without mentioning sex. Although in my side work I have met many trans people for work. And occasionally that was specifically for sex acts. I should say this was cam modeling and not prostitution. We would perform and then talk the rest of the day. It was strictly professional so the intentions were known from the start.
I too have met some other girls in real life. I've enjoyed each experience and have met some really fantastic people! My first time out was to a local TG support group and I had a wonderful time! Everyone was really nice and welcoming, I was very comfortable there. Unfortunately I haven't been since because life has gotten in the way every meeting day since then, I'm hoping this month I'll be able to make it again though.
I have met out at clubs with other girls a few times, though none that I had met from here. The first time I think there might have been a small amount of confusion as to why I wanted to meet, which was just friendship on my part. When I explained that though everything was fine. We chat regularly online via email and would like to go out again whenever schedules allow as we both had a very nice time just being out and about.
I think someone else here has already said that meeting in person is a lot different than just online, and it is. Way different because you're in person, it's hard to describe.... Me personally I love going out and meeting other people, it's validation I suppose. That I'm real, this is a big part of me, and that it's ok to be me. :)
I can offer my opinion on this being that I recently met up with someone here. I stayed with them and their housemates for the weekend and I loved it. I made some really cool new friends. This is just my experiences on the subject.
But onto the first meeting. We both met in guy mode because it wasn't a good idea for either of us to be out en femme at the time. Anyway, once we got back I got changed and spent the remainder of my time there dressed until it was time to leave. We had a chat about problems only us CDers face and also spoke about clothes and wigs. But we also chatted about things we like, TV shows, games, expo etc. We had got to know eachother on here first so we did get on quite well before we met. I've found as nice as it is having people to talk to through chat or messages nothing beats meeting a fellow CDer in person. You can share stories properly and even help one another with makeup tips etc. I was nervous at first because I would be dressed in front of others but I'm always like that the first time.
Now mine was a friendly meeting. Very social. It was a risk as some people aren't what they say when online. Sometimes people are looking for hookups etc. It's an obvious statement but be sure of what you want beforehand. Just be cautious and if you only want to meet new friends then don't do anything you're not comfortable with. I know, it sounds really silly me saying that. But it's just they way it is and I think you probably know that already.
Although I'm not part of any groups I have heard many of them mentioned here and I think that is a good way to go. You'll meet lots of likeminded people in a safe place where you would be welcomed more so than some other places.
You were pretty brave coming to meet me and my housemates really, I could have been a maniac for all you know hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by Kimberlyfaye
Several years ago I met a local CD through Tapestry magazine not far from me. Our friendship progressed to having dinners as couples with our wives. They have since moved far away and my friend has transtioned and is just about "6-yrs-old" in her new life. And even yesterday we spoke on the phone and had plenty of laughs. Some years ago she and I went to a couple meetings of a local support group and I met many. One other is still a friend. What I found for myself is a comon theme here that reflects what wives of CD's might experience--- A little shock.
Now don't take this the wrong way because I certainly cannot cast stones myself. But I was somewhat taken aback to see some who would be perceived as obvious males wearing female clothes. Some were extremely passable and some were in transition. It was very different but I was able to quickly understand that everyone was mostly just like me. I did my best with makeup and a dress I made myself to present the best I could. But something inside me tugged at my heart. I felt badly for the 6'-6" sister of mine who had so many manly features knowing that deep within that shell was someone who identified as female. I still talk with her and love her with respect as a friend. I still feel so bad for our sisters who struggle to make the best of this. Living with this, I think, has made me a better person to accept people who are somehow different than what people perceive as a norm. I think we're all lucky to be the way we are in that sense. I think this makes us more caring and loving, as it should be in every part of our lives.
Cheryl Ann
I was as nervous as hell before meeting my first fellow CD'er. Then, of course, I found CD'ers are no different from other folk; some you hit it off with immediately and others are a pain in the b***!!! But that is nothing to do with the fact they dress; it is just some people click and others don't.
This thread interested me because as one who is in the closet but who from time to time gets the opporttunity to spend a few days as Helen away from home I have pondered what it would be like to meet up with a kindrid spirit.
I'm not yet confident enough despite making sorties out in public to say meet up dressed in a pub or eatery. That aside, I wonder how I would act, speech and manerism wise? I would hate to appear"camp", overly exaggerated mannerisms. Counter that with being dressed but talking and acting as I would if in the pub with mates seems equally perverse.
It's a bridge I need to cross if I'm to travel further down the road of better understanding of myself but I fear there are trolls awaiting.
I would love to meet crossdressers someday like in uk or in a club setting or around my area how ever I was too scared
Before I joined my current support group (Pathways) , I met several cds at a convention called Fetish Con in Tampa Florida. I go there every year and at this one party in the ballroom I began chatting with several gorgeous cds. Unfortunately, I wasn't dressed up so it felt a little awkward talking with them about dressing and being in public but they were all pretty cool and very nice. Years later I'm finally going to be all dressed up for the Fetish Ball this year and all my friends are telling me they can't wait to see me, lol!
-Audrey