I have been wondering if a lesbian would be more supportive of crossdressing than a gg?
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I have been wondering if a lesbian would be more supportive of crossdressing than a gg?
Well lesbians are GG's so I don't think there would be a difference.
If you're talking hetero female vs lesbian, it's a legit question. A hetero female is sexually attracted to men, and a lesbian is sexually attracted to women. A cross dresser (not transsexual) presents as a woman (yay for lesbians) and is usually a hetero male (yay for hetero women!). So the attraction factor swaps from lesbian to hetero woman when the CDer clothes come off and the boy parts are apparent.
Then again, when you say supportive, I think that the lesbians might have a slight edge on average due to CDing being considered an alternate lifestyle/expression thing.
I dunno. I've felt chilly glares while dressed in NYC lesbian bars, even when with a GG couple, haven't tested it enough times to know if it is customary. However, once when I came out to a lesbian colleague, she explained that to her CD looked like just another load of man bullshit and she was lifetime done with that.
that's pretty closed-minded / out of it... jeez!Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackie7
We are always talking about how Gender and Sexuality are separate things
I don't see why this would would be any different when it comes to acceptance from GG
It has been my experience over the past 40+ years that those who identify as lesbian do not care for those who identify as CD. This is in no way a scientific fact or anything. I have known many who identify as lesbian over the years. Some do, most don't.
There was a case four or five years ago in Washington DC where a group of lesbians beat up two transgendered individuals. I believe FtM. In my experience lesbians really don't like men, whether a CD or not. However, you mileage may vary.
Well, lesbians are GGs too. You mean lesbian GGs vs. hetero GGs.
And no, lesbian GGs are not more supportive. There are quite a few lesbians who feel that CDers appropriate women's roles in order to infiltrate womanhood so to speak, and they don't like it. The non-militant lesbians might not feel as outraged, but I'm sure that among them you'll find an equal amount of disinterestedness, tolerance, or patient amusement as you would among hetero GGs.
Last, if you're looking for a romantic relationship, no lesbian will be interested. They're into women and not male-bodied individuals who engage in cross-gender expression.
Sorry to be so harsh, but really your best chances for a romantic relationship if this is what you're looking for, is among open-minded hetero GGs.
I think lesbians are more accepting of a transsexual than a crossdresser. My own experience has been nothing but positive acceptance from lesbians I've socialised with, whether they encounter myself or crossdressers at the same venue. However, when you get down to it their sexual interest is definitely in the direction of girl's bodies.
It a curious question. Supportive could mean a lot of different things...it could be welcoming, understanding, accepting, encouraging, empathetic, and maybe a dozen other things, but all presumably positive. In the absence of a clearer meaning and the ability to take a reliable sampling of straight and gay women's attitudes towards CDrs all you get is speculation.
I'll offer my own experience. I have met and conversed with many lesbian and of course quite a few straight women as well. I have been received very positively by the lesbian women I have met. I'd use all of those terms I listed above to describe their reactions to me. I have NEVER encountered a lesbian who gave any indication that she saw me in a bad light. But the same seems to be true for the women I have met. So, maybe it says something about the places I go, the women I meet or something about me and the way I present. Who knows.
Generalizations don't matter. What matters is how you relate to the women and men that you encounter.
I don't understand your Q. The last time I checked, ALL lesbians are Humans. Just like CDers of every variety. Every last one of them unique. No sense lumping them into one basket - one size fits all - is there?
So, my best guess is that some would and some would not. I think the only way to know for sure would be to ask them but even then they might not tell you the truth.
After reading thousands of questions here and tens of thousands of responses, it's pretty obvious. There IS no accounting for just who will accept.
It will always be a roll of the dice and nothing more.
Thanks so much for the feedback. I am 59 year old cd who came out to my wife several years ago. The thought of me dressed makes her sick (her words) and so I'm way back in the closet. I was curious as to what type of women are more supportive for we cd's.
Some things missing here: why wouldn't lesbians have the same biases as everyone else?
Not necessarily. I think it depends a lot on the individual person. Although I've found that gay gals in general like me when I'm at the club. :battingeyelashes::)
Why would a lesbian not be a GG?
Other than that,from personal experience, of those who were interested in me in a romantic way, 3 are bi, one a lesbian, and my current is neither, but tolerant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels
Exactly!
Good points, Reine, and I would go so far as to suggest that of all the sub-groups of GG's mentioned in this thread, the ones who typically identify as bi- would be the most likely to be fully at ease with - if not actually turned on by - the thought of being involved in both a romantic and sexual relationship with a CDer...Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
the best girl to accept your crossdressing is one who is really into you, open-minded helps. The rest is up to you and how much you accept yourself. If you can help her get her rocks off really well and then attribute it to the crossdressing part of you that probably wouldn't hurt either.
Leslie, in your above quote you write:
"I would go so far as to suggest that of all the sub-groups of GG's mentioned in this thread, the ones who typically identify as bi- would be the most likely to be fully at ease with - if not actually turned on by - the thought of being involved in both a romantic and sexual relationship with a CDer..."
Not necessarily. A person's sexual orientation has nothing to do with their tolerance for gender variance. I have a bi GG friend who is intolerant of cross-gender expression. She likes her men to be men and her women to be women. This isn't just a "would-be" bi-woman nor a "bi-curious" woman, nor is she a hetero GG who is in a relationship with a CDer and who calls herself bi. lol. She has been in real relationships with both sexes. Honestly, I think the idea that bi-women are more accepting than hetero women is a CDer fantasy. Besides, what's the percentage of bi-women to hetero women ... 3-5%? There are, on the other hand, many hetero GGs who do accept (to varying degrees) cross-gender expression in their partners:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=supportive+so
... and this is just a tip of the iceberg.
So to recap, I believe that if 40% of hetero GGs will not run away from the CDing, then 40% of bi-women (albeit a much lower percentage overall) will not run away either.
Open minded women who do not hold strong, traditional viewpoints, and who are given time to get used to the idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaRenae_arkie
I think you should look for Bi GGs. What could be better. They would get a boy and a girl in the same package.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaRenae_arkie
When my partner and I briefly broke up, I tried to date one lesbian. She loved the way I looked but she could not get over the fact that I was trans and still had my male parts. She said "I just don't know what to do with you." Another one I actually dated was kind of a "bull dyke" type as they say. She was 6 feet and very aggressive. She loved me and wanted to continue. It did not bother her at all it seemed. I really was not looking for that type though so it didn't work for me. I just think the overall population of lesbians just don't know how to react to us. I never got hit on at a lesbian bar even looking my hottest. So, its mixed but I think it skews to the non-interest side pretty heavily.
Also I agree with the Bi-girl thing. My best friend has exactly this and is married with a kid. All came after transition. Even girls with Bi leanings are a very good fit so I hear from others.
I can't believe we're actually having this discussion….people are individuals with whatever prejudices and preconceptions they have acquired, whether straight, gay, bi; I don't like making a (artificial) distinction between the feelings of lesbian GG's vs Hetero gg's
It's been pointed out that lesbians are GGs.
That said, they are all individuals with their own thoughts on crossdressing and everything else.
I guess this is a joke, but if it's not, I can assure you that this is a crude oversimplification of how bisexuality actually works.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi
No I don't believe its a joke. :/
People do not seem to understand that acceptance of a gender variance is not contingent on sexuality preference. I find myself constantly fighting the misconceptions of bisexual women on this forum. What I like about men are their manly qualities and what I like about women are their womanly qualities. A GM does not fill out the expectations of what a woman that I would find sexy, would look like in my mind, even wearing the "right clothes.
I have noticed that the most supportive GGs are those that you are not in a relationship with. Something about not in my backyard.
I have found that (generally) lesbian/bi women are more open-minded towards gender variances because of their own sexuality.
Not necessarily, both can have polarised views.
Both are girls.
You may find more acceptance in the Lesbian community, but what will be attracted to you would be bisexual women.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaRenae_arkie
Bisexual women struggle because they want the sensuality and intimacy of women, but they also want the security and "respectability" of men.
When I finally came out as transgender and started going out in public, I was surprised how several women came out of the woodwork to introduce me to women who turned out to be bisexual.
I was also surprised at how much they enjoyed and WANTED the cross-dressing to be a part of our sexual time together. Often, they would dress "comfortable" in public, but in private enjoyed getting dressed up sexy as much as I did.
As a cross-dresser, they don't have to worry as much about bruising your fragile ego if they ask you to do something different sexually. They can tell you how pretty you look and you are delighted. Even when you are out with her as a man, wearing a suit, she can compliment your feminine qualities and you are delighted. There is the opportunity to really experience emotional intimacy.
At a social level, once you are "out" and women know that you are transgender, both straight and lesbian women will start to treat you differently, like one of the girls. When you can learn to talk about your feelings in front of them, and they can talk about their feelings in front of you without you trying to "fix" it, you know you will have achieved something very special.
There are some caveats, however. Often a lesbian who knows her partner has had and enjoyed male partners as well as female will consider you a threat to her relationship. As a pure lesbian, she may only want girls and she will not be interested in sharing. At the same time, she may worry that if her girl-friend sees you, that the girl-friend might get the best of both worlds with you, who provides much of what she likes best about both men and women.
I have had this get ugly a few times. At one point, a bisexual woman started flirting with me and her partner got so jealous that she wanted to castrate me, she even recruited a couple of girls to help. Fortunately the club owner got wind of it and told me not to leave the bar until she said it was OK. This was the ugliest it ever got, and that was a misunderstanding.
Hard core lesbians will make it clear that they don't want to deal with what's "down there". I usually chuckle and say something like "Oh that little thing, not a problem, but I do understand" (because I do).
At the same time, many bisexual lesbians would be quite friendly and when we had a chance to talk 1-on-1 in a quiet place, they often let me know that even though they liked girls, they liked what I had to offer too.
There were some women, mostly bisexuals, who liked both Rex and Debbie, and would be very friendly to both.
Other women, mostly lesbian but bisexual, were friendly to Debbie and a bit cold to Rex.
Many women who were more straight but bisexual were more friendly to Rex in public but liked Debbie in more private settings (Dinner, shopping, away from "her crowd").
I did find that in straight environments, such as clubs or groups, the men would "bird dog" me, taking particular interest in women who flirted with me, then swooping in to "Rescue" them from trying to waste their time on me because I was "Gay". The women who told these guys to buzz off - were the wants I wanted to get to know better.
I have found these things to be true of women who wanted to be lovers as well as women who wanted to be friends. For me, there is nothing more wonderful than going into a social environment where women know that "It's always Debbie on the Inside" and they come up to Rex and greet me with a loud "DEBBIE!" and a huge smile and a hug. It's a little gesture of friendship that just makes me feel like I (Debbie) belong.
I'm a "type 6" transsexual, but if you consider that there is a range of gender Identity from 1 to 6 and a range of cross-gender preference from 1 to 6 and there is usually a good overlap across 2-3 grades, there is actually a pretty good chance that you could have some wonderful friends and a lover or two, even a life time partner.
One bit of helpful advice though. Don't let appearances dictate your choices. The girl who dresses the way you want to dress may be doing so for another partner. If she has a bit of a vanity streak, she might not want to compete with you and she would REALLY hate to "lose" to you. More than a few times I've heard "I don't want to date a man who looks better in a dress than I do".
The woman of your dreams might be a bit transgender too. She might be the one with a few extra pounds, wearing the loose fitting slacks, and the loose fitting sweater. Better to have a size 16 in sensible shoes who is completely crazy about you dressed and not, than to have a fashion model who "tolerates" your dressing. A bisexual woman is likely to be better at being able to adapt to her situations. She dresses comfortably for work and social functions, but can be sexy and hot when she wants to play in the bedroom.
There is a flip side to this. Do you have any concept of lesbian sex? If you just want to dress up and then have traditional sex, with the usual intercourse, then you might not have much to offer a bisexual. On the other hand, if you are willing to try lots of different things, including things like toys, bondage, role play, dominant and/or submissive, and switch it up different ways, and create with her, you will have a LOT to offer.
I don't want to go into any further detail in this forum because I don't want to offend anybody. The editors might need to clip some anyways (I hope not). The point is that you really need to think about what you have to offer to a woman who likes women.
This has certainly been my experience when I have been out socializing. There really are a lot of bi females who use the phrase "best of both worlds" talking about CD'sQuote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Lesbians I have met seem to be more willing to tolerate being in a social setting with CDs than most GGs . The reality of it all seems to be that for most lesbians, we who CD take our dressing to the extreme for their taste.
It's easy to see why. I would never go out clubbing wearing jeans/ t-shirt a ball cap and no makeup ( typical attire in most lesbian clubs I've ever been in). Oh on second thought I do go clubbing dressed exactly that way in my guy mode.
Just once I'd love to meet and chat with a "Lipstick Lesbian" to get her views about CD's
The only gf I ever had that really liked my CDing was bisexual and quite feminine. Just my experience.