Wondering how your wife views you?

I gave my darling wife a gift card to go buy herself what she wanted at Dillard's for Christmas. I let her off at the door of the store today and told her to go buy herself whatever she wanted. She said she picked out several outfits and things she wanted and the she saw a panty bin of many different colors of Lacey panties. She said she I picked up a pair of red ones and thought Jaylyn would like these for Christmas. She said really didn't think of me but that she wanted Jaylyn to have a present also. She then said it was like buying for another person. A separate person. I opened her gifts to me and then opened Jaylyns present. What a great wife I have.
Here is my question, do those of you that have wives or as we say SO's that know and approve of your dressing view you as a totally other person? (I'm lucky that my loves Jaylyn as much as me....

My wife would pick out things in a catalog; Mainly because the stores just did not carry
my size in much of anything. Although we never left the house dressed, she would tell
me what to put on. She enjoyed dressing me. I will miss her.
Rader

"Two apps working off the same database". That's how my wife sees my gendered selves. We really are two separate personalities. BTW, my male self would have NOT been expected to open a present for Tina. Tina opens hers and my male self opens his.

Unfortunately my wife views my fem self as someone she would rather not know or deal with in any sort of way.
It saddens me and reading how many of you have accepting wives makes be so jealous but I know I should not be.
I love my wife but wish she could understand in some way,

I don't have an alternate personality so my wife uses my name and if she buys a fem gift for me it has my name on it. When shopping she points things out for me not an alternate name.

Whenever we are out shopping she always asked "is there anything you want to look at.". She is not referring to sports equipment.

My wife only accepts my dressing and the presence of Requal. She is becoming more accepting as time passes.

My wife is accepting but not overjoyed.
Although when we are traveling she opens up a little more.
There are not the constraints of being near home.

LeighR, I'm kind of in the same boat, so I understand. As I have said over in the intros section my wife is somewhat supportive In that she likes my feminine sides choice of movies and help with kitchen and laundry But she doesn't even know I have taken a name for her and though she paints my toes and plucks my brows for me and gives me panties, she would never allow me to dress up or acknowledge me as female. In fact tonight I told her I was sorry that the very part of me that makes me enjoy the things that she likes about my femininity Are the same things that make me want to be female, she said "well, I guess you just have to take the good and ditch the bad huh." I said I sure wish I could... I do desperately want either for her to wake and decide that she wants a full wife instead of the emotional wife with physical husband or that I would be able to find the secret to forgetting that my whole life has been lived wanting to be a woman so I could actually BE the man she seems to want and I presume she thought she was marrying 20 years ago.

I'm not quite sure on this one, but she often says things like "Do you think Amanda might like that?" For Xmas she bought me a sring of pearls and a pair of pearl earrings - but nothing for my male self. As our American friends say - go figure!

My wife is very supportive. Tonight I received a few of Suzanne's presents when my son went to bed. 2 pairs of panties and a sparkly I phone case. However, she can be overwhelmed by the fear of where this ends. She and I acknowledge that I am transgendered and am somewhere past cross dressing on the TG spectrum. We have to stay in the present and work hard at communicating honestly. She wants her husband and I want to be authentically me.
This is not easy! Merry Christmas!
Hugs
Suzanne

My wife knows about my dressing but doesn't like it one bit. She, however, knows that Carolina is the easiest person to give gifts to since i love any pleated skirt, nice blouse, dress or heels. My male persona is far more difficult to give gifts to, and as Carolina i love any female clothing. As such my wife gets me all sorts of nice female outfits for bdays or special occassions. As a result my female wardrobe is far bigger than my wife's or than most GGs i could think of. The problem is that she doesn't like seeing Carolina thus i keep my dressing up in the closet, never ventured out and need to be alert with my teenage kids who know nothing of Carolina. So yes, my wife talks about Carolina when seeing a nice outfit i'd like. Treating her as a different person helps keep appearances with the kids.

Can't say my wife sees me as two different people. She has seen Isha dressed complete (helped in some instances) and has seen Isha go off on her adventures. However when I am at home either femme or boy, I use my "boy" voice and she refers to me by my boy name. So I think I will default to one person - two different shells.

Hugs and Happy Holidays.

Isha

My wife is fully supportive. I don't feel that she views me differently in any way. When we are out she refers to me as Sue as to not draw attention. But no matter how I am presenting or where we are, we have one relationship and that is the way we talk and treat each other.

My wife views me as one person , if she see's something that she thinks I might like or that I might look good in then she will simply ask, " Do you like this". mind you it can get a bit confusing as sometimes I am not quite sure if she means do I like it for me or do I like it for her so then I have to ask " Who for" and hope that no one is close by if she comes out with a " For you " :o

My wife is definitely supportive of me, Not sure she think of me as 2 different people.
But she does understand that there is another side of me, For Christmas Raychel got a new bathrobe.
Ray got nothing. :daydreaming:

I admire all of you that have outted yourselves to your wives but must say "one size doesn't fit all". I wish it were so but I know my wife wouldn't approve and it could be traggic for our marriage. Even if she accepted, like many of you she wouldn't like it and would ask that I do it on my own time and that she wouldn't want to see me. Who would blame her as she thought she married a man and not a man who want's to be a woman. Knowing what I know now about myself earlier in life I might have changed directions but I didn't so I live my life as I see fit and have learned my boundaries and am happy with that. No point in creating problems if they are not necessary.

Hi Jaylyn Yes my now wife, we just got married Nov. 4 and have been together 8 yrs. We know that both of us tend to be different, I take on more of a fem. role an she a male one. Our balance is good for us. She prefers me to be a women, I think I have one of the best types of a relationship. To top things off we are the same size in cloths an shoes, so when we go shopping we tend to pick out cloths for the both of us.

My wife is tolerant, lets me dress for the most part at home, views me as one person.

There's Misty and there's me. My wife acknowledges both and the communication is on a spectrum rather than a one or the other basis. Trying not to be too complicated, but sometimes it's a me only chat, sometimes Misty only (like when shopping or getting mani/pedis together) and many times it's a blend recognizing all dimensions of the whole me.

My wife thinks of me as one person and doesn't even know of this new name I've invented for myself

Just a few weeks ago we were Christmas shopping in a pretty big department store when we ended up in ladies section and from across the room I couldn't believe they had half and full slips there and couldn't help but to check them out. Because it was a little bit of a higher end department store they were of a better quality then most others, I told my wife I couldn't believe they had slips there because how these days they are so hard to find. We walked away and when we gat to the register to pay the slip was in the biggie, I asked my wife how that slip got there? She said it was a Christmas gift to Maria. I was so touched but yet I couldn't let her buy it telling her Christmas is a very expensive time of year and that I have so many and don't get much time anymore to dress anyway. I was touched and flattered that she is so thoughtful and does consider Maria as a person.

My wife can do no wrong in my eyes, when it comes to my feminine side. I'm not sure she would want to spend time dressing up together or things like that (which is a shame in a way, as I would love her to do my makeup), but she is very accepting. Neither of us would be shocked if she caught me dressed up to the nines, to be honest.

If we're out somewhere and see something I might like, she will try it on for me and generally be very encouraging - it's no deal at all. She has known for years, though, so there aren't any secrets. I keep nothing back from her, I just don't want to.

On Christmas Eve, I mentioned in passing that I wanted to change my name on the forum... I was like 'well, my girl name has to be Tallulah... something or other'... and she said 'Oh definitely Tallulah, that's a lovely name... Tallulah... hmm... Rose! Yes, that sums you up beautifully'.

So Tallulah Rose it is.

I was so pleased that she helped me choose my girl name. I really love my wife. :battingeyelashes:

And Tallulah got some incredibly sexy deep red nail polish for Christmas. Just the right amount of shimmer, it looks like satin in a bottle - my eyes just lit up when I opened it. It's great that she knows my style - but then we are both into vintage styles, very similar things.

My wife sees me as the same person, regardless of my clothes. I don't have an alter ego...I try to be myself.

My wife and I have always traded clothes, though that used to be that she just wore my men's clothes. Most of my fem clothes are gifts from her so we pretty much dress the same. I am a bit more flamboyant but we're both heavily into black. We often buy the same clothes, just in different sizes. I don't have an alternate feminine persona I'm just me to her, maybe a little bit more me if I'm in a short black dress and fishnet stockings!

I am the same person no matter how I present myself to the world. My wife would like the CDing to dissappear or be "cured". I know she doesn't nessesarily see me the same since I came out but I am the same.

It's just me, being in a dress or jeans, it's still just me. But the wife knows Tina well, as what she thinks, I guess you would have to ask her if you could, I can't speak for how she feels, but how she acts, that I know. She has always bought presents for Both my male persona and my female persona. In fact some of my most expensive things come from her, I'm to cheap to spend it on me.
Before going shopping she always wants to know if Tina needs anything, she refers to Tina only in the third person, one on one, she calls me by my given name, she sees me as one being, so two names just doesn't work for her. Even in the third person, it's only when in public, as in "do you think Tina would like this". But that's to save me being embarrassed, not her thinking of two different people.
As far as how she feels about it, I can't say, but she treats Tina very nicely, so why would I risk upsetting the apple cart if you know what I mean, I'll take how she treats me over how she feels about it anytime, if she felt bad I don't think it would be that comfortable for Tina, so I guess that is an endorsement of sorts.

Not two different people. She has accepted my feminine side and that I CD, but struggles with it, as do many women who have CD S/O's. I do not have a separate persona anyway. She is however, seeing me differently now that I have revealed my feminine side. And as I accept it more and become more comfortable with it, she is seeing it a bit more. (fem side, not actual dressing) What She feels is that I am changing, whereas I am merely coming to grips, and accepting for myself what I have always been. So, I do not feel a change that she feels. It is a change for her though, and something we who have revealed after a commitment or marriage have to understand. It IS a change, and a big one for them, even though we do not feel the change.

Awesome wife!!

I have separated from my wife for 3 years, in that time I started to crossdress. I came out to her 2 years ago and nothing was said. It was her birthday so I texted her "happy birthday". the answer I got is she doesn't know to reply. Now my wife is pretty conservative and unforgiving so I doubt I will understood. Most of my kids and grandkids know and support me. But at my age I figure what the heck, I finally living my life with my rules.

My wife was very supportive and tolerant at first, but as dressing (and Sarah) consumed more time and $$ (and public outings) she became less so. She actually got to a point where it would have been either the CDing or her. She won, I guess, but the urge never goes away.

My wife knows of my dressing, supports it, and enjoys being part of it. She actually helped me discover crossdressing. She made me buy my first pair of high heels when she asked if I enjoyed her in heels and how sexy heels made me feel. She believes cro0ssdressing brings me a lot of enjoyment and wants me to be happy. Happy crossdresser, happy life. Crossdressing is something we share and we both feel it has increased the intimacy in our relationship. There is a secrecy, a naughtiness, a non-conventional behavior that we share. We communicate about all aspects - even outfits to wear and hairstyles. We enjoy roleplaying. We have gone on crossdressing weekends together. We often wear the same sexy pajamas. We have a few pair of the same heels. I usually get home first and she sends me messages to change rapidly so she can eat dinner and watch TV with her best friend Heather. We make crossdressing fun, sexy, mutual. I know I am fortunate and I always let her know how much I appreciate her and her enthusiasm.

WOW!!! You are living my dream!!! Your wife is AWESOME!!!! I am so happy for you and so jealous too!!!! I would love to meet an understanding woman like that

To answer your question, no she does not, but her credit card company does!

I think she accepts me. I dress every day. I do not hide my purchases from her (she occasionally compliments my dresses and hair style). Christmas presents to me from her were jewelry and stemware.

My wife considers me to be ME and just feels that the crossdressing thing is just a mental disease and an affliction propagated by some kind of misfortunate upbringing. Evidently I missed out on all of the man training to make me want to snatch fish from the water, (you can buy them at the grocery store) and spend thousands of dollars to go faster than that other guy. Maybe if she would get to know Carla a little better, Charles would have more inclination to kill things and fart more. Sure, I can be two people. Maybe even more. Hmmm?

My wife has never in 25 years thought of my feminine side as a 'second self'. I am who I am with crossdressing as an integral part of me. Pretty cool IMO. I have brought up the subject a few times, but she never bit. I do not use my female name around her, though she knows I use it when shopping or other CD related stuff.

With that in mind she does think of me as a CD only, with a bit of fetishism tossed in. I mentioned that I lean more to the TG manifestation / definition but that upsets her, thinking that it damages our relationship. She will not acknowledge that CD/TG/TS is a full range of feelings.

She wants to have me as a CD only, and does support and compliment me when I dress en femme. I can live with that trade off.