Question - not sure what forum to ask this question

This is something I have always wanted to know. Forgive me if I ask this wrongly - I'm a newby.

Now, the question - I've always heard and thought that crossdressing or MFT transitioning was because of being born with the chemistry or heredity that lead to feminine traits and actions and desires. But the more I think about it, I have one issue that I can't resolve - MTF crossdressers always seem to go completely frilly. Being married for 20 years, I can tell you my wife is rarely frilly and seldom wears clothing that looks "hot."

So, why do MTF crossdressers go to the extreme frilly/feminine, sexy outfits. Not that I don't - I'm just trying to reconcile my thoughts.

Sorry if I worded this incorrectly or shouldn't be asking at all.

Because it is an archetype of femininity. We have limited time to spend in girl mode so we make the most of it with the stereotype feminine attire.

Funny, but as I dress more, I have become far more causal.

Because women have had the privilege of been there/done that all their lives. Men, in general, don't get that privilege , and therefore MTF crossdressers gobble up every piece of frillery and finery they can get their hands on. It's just human nature.

Also, males tend to be more fetishistic about certain things than females.

With women, there's a certain objective that they are trying to achieve in order to obtain the goal. However, women often size each other up when it comes to wearing outfits.

As I grow older, the crossdressing has become more satisfying on a different level. Instead of getting excited, it has become a more natural feeling - I don't understand it or know how to explain it, it just feels more "right." Hell, maybe I have just come to terms with it and accepted it. But I bet I've worn my wife's dress, stockings and panties more than she did. Now, I have my own. Yeah, if you couldn't tell, I am a little ADHD. :)

I tend to agree with the other girls here we want so bad to be girly we tend to overdo. I think my expression of my real girly side came over the early years when I like dressing like a little girl in short frilly dresses and the like but I know longer want that. I prefer the more causal looks and all the cute skirts, now I do gravitate to the short skirts even though I'm older but hey I got the legs for the short ones so why not lol.

Dear Lena, I wore a crinoline once with a big hoop skirt--now that was frilly, and I did not like it at all. I've noticed many CDers who call themselves "sissy" wear that sort of thing. I suppose that is more of a fetish approach to dressing. Sexy, on the other hand, I love. Short skirts/dresses and astronomical heels with some shiny stockings (did someone say fetish?).

The other responses you already gotten explain a lot, don't they? Most of us are not full-time so we spend whatever time we have overdoing things a bit. I don't know about you, but my challenge is to not put on too much makeup. Know what I mean--eyes too dark and wide, blush looking like your in heat, lipstick looking like a camel instead of a girl.

Truth is, the more you do it, the easier it gets and the easier it gets the less overboard you will go. The chemistry may be there, but the rush always is.

good old fashioned "Over Compensate",
Same reason young boys sprint the first 100 meters in a 4,000 meter race, while the older more experienced runners relaxes in to a 4,000 meter race.
I still love my frilly skirt, haven't worn it for a few years now.

Because today's women don't dress "girly" in the numbers they did 100 years ago when I was young, I believe it is our obligation to continue the "girly" look so as it does not become extinct. :heehee:

I'm not sure but not every MTF Cder does this. I think it may just be a matter of taste sometimes in our idea of frilliness. :)

Lena - as good as place as any to start... :)
I think I've been asking myself a similar question - but I feel a lot of it depends on the individual's personal motivation, although that may not always be overt or conscious. I've never been one for frilly - either in clothes or women. Now sexy and hot - that I can do in both - and yes, maybe 10 years ago my wife would often do sexy, but I guess GGs are not going to be pursuing that all the time - again, I think it comes down to their motivation.
Me, at present, I get maybe an hour a week dressed (yes - that's 2 hours prep before - get's longer as the years go on.. :cry:) and I'm not about to spend an hour in jeans and a blouse, so sexy and glam gets my vote. I think for me there is also an element of the type of woman I am wanting and trying to emulate and again, I'm not often going to go 'girl in drab' but I am happy to do casual sexy... in fact I quite like that :o
I hope we don't go down the chemistry/ heredity trail again in this thread, I'm quite enjoying pondering on 'girl emulation mode' (GEM - a new acronym :yahoo:) at the moment... Emulation... mmmmm... that has a nice feeling...
Katey x

Lena,
I think frilly is a stage that young newbies go through.I passed the frilly stage last week, I think. :)

I am a M2F CD.
I dont think I go over the top. I certainly dont go frilly. That takes things into that whole 'sissy' territory and thats another thread all by itself.
I expect that I over-compensate to some degree, but that's more on the makeup side, I use as many tricks as I can to create the illusion of femininity, or at least that which my brain defines as feminine.
In respect to clothing, I'll wear anything as long as its something that's clearly made for a girl/woman ie nothing that could be interpreted as androgynous. And as long as it's not ugly or WAAAAAY out of fashion.
Having said that, those weird MC Hammer pants are in fashion and I HATE those....

To conclude, I guess its a matter of my taste vs your own.

Sounds kinky! I don't think I own any frilly clothing but it sounds like fun. It sounds like petticoats and such. I have one blouse with ruffles and I like that look along with other fem styles. I have to admit to liking a sexy look, but that would only be for certain occasions.

Maybe I'm the exception here. While I do have nicer/sexier outfits they are saved for the times when they are appropriate. That's not to say that I don't like to dress nicer, but when I do it's because that's what would be normal for anyone at the same event. Normal day to day wear is jeans, or shorts and a casual top depending on the weather, the same as a GG would be seen in. Maybe the difference for me is that I'm not dressing to wear the clothes, but to appear to the world the way that I feel on the inside. The other thing is that I've come to the realization that I'm not just a cross dresser and that I'm really more towards the trans-sexual orientation. This is how I want to live my life and now it's just a matter of deciding how best to accomplish it.

Hi Lena,

I think others have answered your question pretty well however I think there is one more thing to add. It is my theroy that a lot of ggs don't dress "better" or sexier more often because, with all the hype of womens lib, they have forgotten they really are different, and have forgotten how to be a woman. I believe also that going back thousands of years woman developed beauty to help hold a male and to counter, in the species, the fierce intimidating look important to males which helped them in life at the time. Both of these traits may be less impoetant now, but maybe not. Are you not intimidated by a scruffy/fierce looking male more than a well groomed one? Are men not more attracted to a well groomed shaply looking female? Now don't get me wrong, I am all for equal rights between the sexes I do not view women as second class citizens, but that doesn't mean men and women are the same. Maybe for the same reason that many women don't like men who x dress (they have lost that fierce look), maybe men don't like women who don't look feminin (lost that shape or frilly look) . And there can be different definitions of feminin, from white and frilly to shinny black leather. A difference, which doesn't have to do with the discussion here but I will bring up anyway is the more agressiveness of the male and submissivemiss of the female. Males had to go and do battle with other males and large animals which over time made them stronger and more agressive while the females stayed in camp and tended to children and day to day work. Again, don't get me wrong here. I don't necessarly think being submissive is bad. Look at crime and war, mostly a male thing.

I hope I haven't ruffled feathers here, not my intention, just trying to point out that there are differences.

Sherrii

My opion on this is that is why we dress to have all the sexy thrill outfits that females get to wear as it starts our engines

it's quite simple really... all the femininity that modern women have cast off or discarded over the years has been concentrated and reprojected into our minds and bodies! It's like Feng Shui.... only prettier! So it's womens fault that were this way! lol. Got to try that one on my wife next time she complains I'm too girlie!

I dont go over the top unless I'm going out to a club, other than that I dress as sexy as possible while staying very casual. Check out my recent post in the picture section. A lot of women are to self conscious to dress sexy.

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Originally Posted by Sherrii

... with all the hype of womens lib, they have forgotten they really are different, and have forgotten how to be a woman. ... Males had to go and do battle with other males and large animals which over time made them stronger and more agressive while the females stayed in camp and tended to children and day to day work. ...

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Sherril, any woman reading this is laughing and rolling their eyes at how lame a man can be. By the way, back in the caveman days, were the cavewomen wearing dresses and doing their hair? No, they were gross hairy beasts, like the men. I am sure that Darwin did not capture fashion in his proof of evolution.

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Originally Posted by Lena

Now, the question - I've always heard and thought that crossdressing or MFT transitioning was because of being born with the chemistry or heredity that lead to feminine traits and actions and desires.

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No that's not necessarily true. There are many motivations ranging from a mild fetish about women's clothes right through to being TS and everything in between. You may be born that way or you may have developed an interest at some point for one reason or another. Not only that human nature being what it is you may well change as you get older. As others have pointed out. You can start frilly, go on to sexy and end up casual. There are no rules.

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Originally Posted by Lena

But the more I think about it, I have one issue that I can't resolve - MTF crossdressers always seem to go completely frilly.

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They don't always. It you want to pass in public you won't. I personally don't like frilly, sometimes I'm more butch lesbian! It's all a question of taste. But in a sense you have to go for maximum feminity when dressed. Most only get a few fleeting moments of dressing as a woman. They have to make the most of it. Women too take the opportunity to dress up when it comes. Weddings and parties, dates etc. You wouldn't wear party clothes to bring the kids to school! Having said that I have seen some very well dressed Mothers at my kids school. Keeping up appearances I suppose.

If you only get a few chances to dress, wearing a pair of jeans and a tee shirt doesn't really cut it!

What Jennifer said, and, please, everyone, use 'men' and 'women', not 'males' and 'females'. This is not a wildlife film you're commenting on, you homo sapiens :D

As for the actual question: over-compensation, liking stuff with sex or fetish appeal, the general fashion sense (or lack thereof) of men, copying archetypes/stereotypes, having old-fashioned 'style icons' are all valid reasons for the general CD style of clothing.

i'm not so frilly. i love heels 5" though and all of my outfits are with heels, but i am fairly conservative.

For many it's a fetish and the "ideal" image of a woman is that which they have seen in magazines and ads over and over and wish to emulate.
It began that way for me but over the years has evolved, much like a girl growing into womanhood, and my tastes have changed. If you were to look into my closet or that of my wife you would not be able to tell the difference. Yes we prefer slightly different styles, but both contain dresses and skirts and slacks and jeans as well. If you looked at the shoe rack you would not be able to tell who owned what shoes.
It's not really fair to generalize that we all go "frilly". We are individuals.

I once heard the following explaination: new cross dressers are like teenage girls, always trying to show off with their short skirts. The longer you dress; the longer your skirts get.

Listening to the more experienced members, this observation sounds right. :)

I believe that it is sorta like when women dress for special occasions, clubbing, etc etc, When a CD dresses, that in itself is typically a special occasion.

Gendermutt, Great answer!

When I was younger I got all the most girly frilly things I could lay my hands on. These days, while I still like my underthings to have a bit lace or frill to them I dress much more conservatively than I used to. I think its a matter of taste of preference. The part of the country I grew up in was farming and ranching so a lot of the women and girls around were not dressed frilly most of the time. They put on the frills and took on a whole new light on special occasions, like dances and weddings and such. I love how they looked when they were all "dolled up". So later on when I moved to more of a city area it was nice to see the women at their jobs in the offices and things dressed so femine and appealing. As time has passed styles have changed and so have I.

I don't think I've ever owned anything frilly.

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Originally Posted by Lena

This is something I have always wanted to know. Forgive me if I ask this wrongly - I'm a newby.

Now, the question - I've always heard and thought that crossdressing or MFT transitioning was because of being born with the chemistry or heredity that lead to feminine traits and actions and desires.

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No we are not all doing this because of chemistry or heredity. Yes, there are some that have some chemical or hormonal imbalance, or difference. I think you are perhaps confusing transsexuals, intersex people, and others who have some kind of gender disphoria. The important thing to remember is that there is no fixed link between biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identification, or gender performance. You can look those up, but beware, there is considerable overlap between the various descriptions, and even more disagreement of the definitions, lets not get into the arguments about causes...

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Originally Posted by Lena

But the more I think about it, I have one issue that I can't resolve - MTF crossdressers always seem to go completely frilly. Being married for 20 years, I can tell you my wife is rarely frilly and seldom wears clothing that looks "hot."

So, why do MTF crossdressers go to the extreme frilly/feminine, sexy outfits. Not that I don't - I'm just trying to reconcile my thoughts.

Sorry if I worded this incorrectly or shouldn't be asking at all.

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We don't go all frilly. I suppose I could be said to go all "girly" because I have a liking for sleek stuff. I have a theory that sometimes CDing is a response to men wanting to express something in them that the mainstream regards as unsuitable for men. "I'm not allowed to behave that, way as a man? Fine. I'll be a woman then." I think that there is a lot of harm done to men and boys not being allowed to show a softer side. Equally, I feel women are being done a disservice being "expected" to be all girly and taking on certain roles. "That's woman's work!" is a horrible phrase.

Anyway, don't lump everyone here under the same label, there is a vast range of reasons for doing what we do, most of us can't tell you why, and it can be progressive, or change markedly as we start to investigate our behaviour. A lot of us don't really get into why until we come on here. The repression that a lot of us suffer form prevents us looking at ourselvves honestly, and being able to talk about it honestly is the first step on the journey. there is no telling where it goes, but you, and your partner, should try to look at it calmly, and not rush into things. None of it is wrong of itself, it only becomes "wrong" if you try to force someone to do something they don't want, or try to make them accept it. If a relationship can't deal with it, then the best thing is to let it end peacefully. Not always an outcome that can be achieved unfortunately...I see from another thread that you've recently told your wife and she is not happy about it. Hope that gets better, if she can understand your confusion, guilt, etc kept you from telling her, that may help.

We don't all go frilly. I prefer the well-dressed classy look, but I have a lot of casual outfits too. I shop at the same stores as the GG's, so it stands to reason that my outfits look pretty much the same as theirs.

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Originally Posted by Lena

So, why do MTF crossdressers go to the extreme frilly/feminine, sexy outfits.

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For me it was the feedback that I wasn't male. Tactile, visual, olfactory and auditory all signaled to me 'female'. Women's clothes, perfume, shoes, jewelry, etc. all give back different signals than men's. Women's clothes such as a sweatshirt and jeans don't have those qualities. There can be more reasons, I suppose others will fill you in.

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Originally Posted by gendermutt

I believe that it is sorta like when women dress for special occasions, clubbing, etc etc, When a CD dresses, that in itself is typically a special occasion.

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Every time I dress its like im going to a party I dance all night x