Why did you want your crossdressing to stop?

Good Lord people. I have read countless postings (zillions it seems on the silliest named undergarment (YUK) panties. Everyone knows real ladies call them undies(wink). Then if there is a single word "bra" in a post title, there are 3700 reads.

I think after reading so many posts that most of you say you want this (CD'ing) to go away on the outside but you can't seriously think that anyone is going to believe you if that is all some and so many seemingly want to talk about.

I call BS. AND besides the fact that I love undergarments and besides the fact that I love wearing them, I never wanted to quit and purge.

Please explain this is driving me nuts!!!

There I said it! And I think someone needed to say it. Something is wrong in Denmark because the claims don't back up the actions or the postings..
Vanny

Not everybody wants it to go away. Some of us think it's the best thing that ever happened to us.

There's no reason to expect the opinions of many different people to be consistent with one another.

I'm not certain that I want it to go away....I just want it to be okay, to be alright, to be a non-issue if I do it. Until then, it would be much easier if I didn't think about it all the time. :)

Suzanne

If it ceased to exist tomorrow, I'd bet more than half of us would re-invent
it. Within minutes probably.

I would say for those of us that say we want it to go away is most likely because it's so unusual to want dress in clothes that are for the opposite gender, I mean for me what person in their right mind does that. It's not like drinking to get drunk and that can have ugly consequences too but at least you can talk to your buds about it. Not this you can't go to the pub the bar or your church and say hay let's go shopping for dresses meet you at the mall. No but it's not a problem to say let's go out and get some drinks or go fishing or play golf. So I hope this makes sense, cause for me that would be a reason

I would love nothing more than to be able to dress exactly as I want whenever I want. That would mean bra and forms(maybe even breast enhancement surgery), skirts and cute shoes and painted nails every day.
Unfortunately, this would cause no end of pain in my life due to the unaccepting people I need and choose to be around; among those are my mom and two sons whose loss would devastate me.
Also, there are activities I am involved in with my sons, scouts and sports, where I take a leadership role. Most of the other parents would not understand and I would lose that not to mention what would happen at my work.

So, I don't want to quit at all. Life just makes it so da**ed inconvenient to be who I am that I often wish I didn't have to deal with it and I guess I think quitting might be easier than changing the world even though I know that neither is very likely.

:hugs:

Shelby

I think you are jumping to conclusions, I did not want my crossdressing to stop.

I did go through a quick phase where I wanted to stop crossdressing. :)

I stopped cold for many years, but my life with out it was dull, because I left behind a part of me so very vital that was every bit as much me as Thomas, my boy self. amberlee is back, and as I said recently out here somewhere, she demands her panties, and thankfully, I, amberlee, am now in charge of this body which I share with Thomas. I shaved it, softened it, and all of a sudden, with new panties (yes, I said panties) stockings, a new skirt, I am in a heavenly place that no drug could possibly produce such a high. and, the kicker? it is healthy for my brain; i'll say it again, it's healthy for my whole body, soul, spirit.

you get to a certain age and you see the big d not far off dpwn the road, and what people think somehow no longer is important, and that makes a big difference. I understand that a younger man sees it differently. maybe our relative ages is part of the reason for our differing opinions on the matter of "giving it up', but fact is, girlfriend, if you are reading this, if you are one of us girls, you ain't never gonna give it up. period.

QUICK, WATSON! - MY PANTIES! - lovingly, amberlee

I went through the buying and purging routine for over two decades before finally giving in because through it all the desire and wanting never went or goes away. I had to go one way or another so I decided to stop fighting it and enjoy myself, what a difference. In the past I would dress and then go through guilt trips but not thirty minutes later after I would revert back to my male self those feminine feelings would constantly return. I can't explain it I just live with it.

who said anything about stopping? After a few purges we all figure it out sooner or later...i just wish for some it is sooner..it will save you ALOT of stress and over thinking not to mention thousands of dollars in clothing,shoes,wigs,forms etc

many of us would love to stop dressing

i love many aspects of it but i do wish i could at least see what my life could have been or could very well be without it in it

innit

i think it has made me afraid of relationships esp. getting closer / letting go and being myself

i feel like it's gotten in the way of intimacy and really messed up my mental well being (depression/anxiety)

so yeah it's fun to talk about lingerie and going out and the sociology or whatever of it all but in the end i can't help but feel like it's made my life worse in many ways... (and better too!) ... kind of like the internet ... def has improved my life in many ways but has also led to problems maybe not being in the "real" world enough...

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Originally Posted by CynthiaD

Not everybody wants it to go away. Some of us think it's the best thing that ever happened to us.

There's no reason to expect the opinions of many different people to be consistent with one another.

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Spot on Cynthia and thank you for stating the obvious.

I have often wanted it to stop. Mostly out of guilt and denial of who I really am. It has been a constant struggle for me throughout my life. Parents take you to a shrink to determine why they keep finding you in your sisters clothes. (she had some fun clothes, and my mom's panties, I once put all of them on and went to school, had to pee real bad but could not get them off, so I got a pair of scissors to cut them off just to pee and tossed them into the trash can, well being 7 years old at the time I had no idea that police would get involved, I never go caught though.) All of my life I felt like I was given a curse, you are a boy and you do not want to be, hahaha. I think I went through gender dysphoria at an early age and it continued until this day. Dating, oh yeah baby, girls, girls, girls. Deep down I not only wanted to get into their panties, but their bras, skirts, and everything else, no to mention body parts... I think dating has escalated my cross dressing to higher levels, not only can I buy her things, I get something for me at the same time. Then came commitment, well, what is it in your life you desire most, having a family or dressing up. Do you still want to be a girl? Well that faded for a while, besides I had all the clothes at my disposal since my first wife wore my size, how convenient. I really did not wear her things. ( well perhaps there was this skirt and satin cami that was hard to refuse). Mostly I wanted to feel normal, be normal, all because I was ashamed of who I was. One thing lead to another, to a better outcome of divorce (in the long run it was the wise choice to make, in the sort term it was complete hell.) I got my life back and went ballistic with clothes. I purged when I felt guilty, that was part due to my upbringing and the shrink who was of no help, I am not sure why I was there in the first place but assumed it was steeling my sisters clothes. I still remember hearing my mother say "I am such a failure, I failed you Eric. I honestly though there was something wrong with my parents as to why they kept coming into my room while I was asleep and exposing me. I got punished for being who I am. Being normal would have been an easier life to live. The heck with that. I have an easy life, I am who I want to be, I dress the way I want to dress. I can be the girl I see myself being. I don't wear any crosses so I guess it is okay.

Let's face it, life would be easier if we didn't. If it was totally accepted it would be different, but others don't always accept our differences. I do enjoy wearing clothes designed for women. I'm addicted to lingerie and prefer most women's clothes over mens.

I had a rough time accepting who I am. It took living on my own to finally accept and come out to a few people. I loved to dress up and always had deep regrets when ever I tried to give it up. Why did I feel so guilty, long ago boys and girls both wore dresses. So why is it viewed as so negative my those who do not understand the reasoning behind it all. I love dressing and will not stop it. I may donate a few clothes once in a blue moon, or throw them out if I cannot repair them. What I wrote previously may sound like BS, trust me.. it is not. Let me tell you 13 pairs of underwear are really hard to cut through with safety scissors. I could have saved myself much embarrassment had I just taken them off one at a time, but spinal tap is painful. I heard about the police story after coming out to my older sister. She was 2 grades ahead of me. Now she had the link why mom's panties disappeared and why all the girls in the school were checked for underwear.

I personally do want mine to go away. I'm soooooooooo tired of being alone. :'(

I am also afraid of something happening whether it be a car accident or death and my things being found in my house by family. Yea I know I'll be dead but.......

For most of my life I made it go away, pushing my thoughts to the back of my brain and trying to ignore them. The reasons were obvious, to avoid the shame and embarrassment of doing something I considered at the time to be perverse and to protect my loved ones from that association.

I'm a lot more educated now. While I would certainly accept the "magic pill" solution, I know that it doesn't really exist. I'm just happy achieving some measure of balance in my life while preserving the relationships that make that life worthwhile.

Though it may seem a little far-fetched to many of us here....

I would imagine there are many who have overcome "it". The will
to do something is very powerful and surely there are many who
have found ways to resist and be just fine.

We wouldn't ever hear from them, because they wouldn't be here.
Or anywhere CD related. Just living their lives as best they can
and as separated from anything to do with CDing as reasonably possible.

I quit drinking. It wasn't that big of a deal and I have no need for
any alcohol at all. For many years, I drank a complete 12 pack every
single night. Was I an alcoholic? Who knows. I have a beer now about
once every 2 months and one is plenty.

I think if someone really wanted to quit, they could *possibly* do so....?

~Kate (ducks under table)~ ♥

I would take the magic pill. It would stop the cross dressing because it turned me into a real girl. Where do I get this pill? Then I could wear anything and it would not matter since it is socially acceptable for women to dress any way they choose. And have hair as well, no more being bald, not have to shave your face. The skirt is always prettier on the other side of the fence. Bummer, I want the pill.

N, I don't want it to go away. I like it!

Christen x

Stop. Stop? STOP! Hell no I won't go.

Actually I love it too much to stop. It's a big part of me, and my wife would kill me if I stopped and reverted back to my ugly old self.

Mostly because of how it has complicated my life. Followed by a close second of not understanding why I like to do it. Which leads to the good ol' emotional roller coaster. If those two were to become non-issues then I don't think I would ever consider stopping.

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Originally Posted by Julie1123

Mostly because of how it has complicated my life.

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This was true for me, too. I felt that it complicated my life too much. For me, crossdressing was a sex act. A very lonely (although incredibly exciting) sex act. I know that there are women who can accept, or even enjoy, their husbands' crossdressing, but for me to make that a requirement in searching for a mate just seemed to put too great a limit on the possibilities. It seemed as though my most likely choices were either to be a solitary crossdresser, or to be a non-crossdresser in a fairly traditional relationship with a woman. I chose the latter, and I don't regret it.

Never really did want it to stop. I did however wish the world would be more accepting. I mean it's better and better nowadays but what I don't get is people are moving towards better acceptance of lgbt's but mention you're hetero AND married AND your wife loves your femme side, and folks just spaz. I am so happy that the U.S. at least is moving towards actual legal acceptance......IE: gays in the military are no longer DADT, and towards legalization of gay marriage......fantastic!
But what about us guys that love their wives and have no same-sex urges but also love to let their inner girl roam free?
No I feel no need to stop cross-dressing, I just wish I could be accepted for who I am in public.

Hi Vanessa, I really never wanted it to go away it has been part of my life for 67yrs.

The question assumes that everyone in the audience is already crossdresser. Given the topic of the forum, that's a valid assumption, but it may be the wrong question.

The folks here crossdress because it provides gratification of one sort or another. It comes as no surprise that they do not want the source of their gratification to go away.

Many have also suffered, some greatly, from consequences of crossdressing. They want to enjoy a life free of those consequences. A life where the time, energy, money, and attention that is currently devoted to crossdressing is instead devoted to things that they could be proud of.

Could another question be asked: "(why) Do you wish your crossdressing never started?"

Best wishes
MsVal

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Originally Posted by Vanessa Rose

I think after reading so many posts that most of you say you want this (CD'ing) to go away on the outside but you can't seriously think that anyone is going to believe you if that is all some and so many seemingly want to talk about.

I call BS. AND besides the fact that I love undergarments and besides the fact that I love wearing them, I never wanted to quit and purge.

Please explain this is driving me nuts!!!

There I said it! And I think someone needed to say it. Something is wrong in Denmark because the claims don't back up the actions or the postings..
Vanny

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Vanny, I'm not sure what your reason for dressing is, it is said around here that there are many different reason we give for what we do. For some, it truly is a hobby, and they dress in clothes of the opposite gender just for the fun of it, but then you get people like me, I don't dress for the fun of it, I dress for mental survival. I don't put on a dress because I want to, but because I need to.
I've given up dressing more times than I care to remember, and at time for years at a time. I would have gladly left it there, in the past. But when it comes back as a nagging, gnawing, raw nerve, depression that leaves you angry, resentful, and bitter, causing you to lash out at the ones you love, or give into that force that pulls on you, but yet you can't understand. Then, you are left with hard choices, loose everything, because you are impossible to life with, run off and be alone, or the final solution, overdose. Well I didn't like any of those choices, so I told my wife I had to do what I do, and gave up the fight and learned to enjoy the time I spend in a dress, but you cure all of those problems it caused, and I' would give it up in a flash, and would enjoy that final purge. But so far no one here, or in the medical field have ever been able to offer such a thing.

I never wanted to quit as much as other people wanted me to VR. Still don't. :)

To the OP, I think you're confusing a DESIRE for "it" to be gone with it BEING gone. Meaning that even though you want it to be gone, if it's not, then you still have the thoughts and desires and a part of that is wanting to talk about it. Count me amongst those that would wish it away and if it became reality, I wouldn't be talking about bras and panties because I wouldn't be here. Don't misunderstand me, after years of torment I finally came to a manageable level of self acceptance but it comes at a cost of dadt, secrecy, money etc.