Just came out as trans* to my dad!

So, I realized that I needed to tell my dad that I'm a transguy. I'd been really nervous about it but realized that if I'm going to get anywhere with my transition that he needed to know. So after angsting about it for two days here's how our conversation went.

I asked him what he would say if I told him that I wanted to be a boy. And he looked at me and was like 'Yeah, that's kinda obvious.' I was surprised but said 'I'm transgender. I want to transition to being a man'
'Yeah, so?'
'There's a support group for people like me coming up and I want to go.'
'Okay, sure. Let me know when it is and I'll take you.'
'Um Dad...You're cool with it?'
'Yeah. You gotta be you, however that is. It's not about me.'
'I love you, Dad'
'Love you too, let's watch Psych'

lol So, best possible outcome! =^-^= I love my dad so much and I'm go glad that I don't have to keep it from him anymore! Though from what he said I wasn't doing that great of a job hiding it...XD

Our parents are so great. But it is our love for them and the relationship built up that causes us to be nervous when telling them about ourselves. If we didn't care, we probably wouldn't be so nervous. Great story and I am so happy for you!

Hey bud:) Conga Rats! Parents can be so cool can't they?

Sue: Yeah, he seemed more upset by me thinking he would be upset than he was about me being trans lol

Barbie: For sure! :D

Way to go! It couldn't have been easy, but it was worth it!

Speaking as a dad there are many of us who, like your dad ,truly have unconditional love and we want our children to be happy ! I am so happy for you ,Congratulations :)

I know it happens all the time, but I just can't understand how a parent couldn't accept/support. I'm so happy you were able to address this and that your dad is the kind of man he is. Thank you for sharing this.

That's awesome and I'm very happy for you that it went as well as it did.
Let us know when you get back from over the moon ;)

I am so happy this worked out for you, Len. Our parents aren't always the mean ogres we think they are. Now that you have the important people in the know and have their support, full steam ahead. Just don't overwhelm them with too much to fast.

Wow Len! Could that have gone any better...? :)

That is just such the right approach - I'm really pleased for you and your family that you can all go through this together...

Katey x

I'm really happy for you, Mr. Gray! Your Dad is a helluva guy, and is a good role model for you to emulate, I think! I'm so happy this worked out for you, too often these end up being sad stories. :(

You are a nice young man, and I'm so pleased you have support in place for your transition.

Oh wow! That's wonderful news.

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Wow, Len!

That had to be one of the hardest conversations to start, admire your cojones, guy!

Maybe now he's dreaming of taking you fishing!

Hugs,
Persephone.

Ask him if you like but I would bet he was probably hoping for a son when you were still in the womb.
Also just for the heck of it, find out what your male name would have been. Maybe use that as your middle name when you legally change it.

It sounds like you and the ol man have a strong bond.

If not too nosy, how do you and your mom get along? Not sure you have mentioned her yet.

Aw, Len, that's great for you, and your Dad. Good luck to both of you.

Christen x

Thank you all for the wonderful replies!

Persephone: My dad isn't the fishing type but he has mentioned that baseball season is coming up and that we should go see a game together :)

Nicole: Me and my dad have always been close :) He said that he always knew that I'd be born a girl but that he probably would've named me after my grandfather so either Paul or Richard. ;) My mom...well, she's a different story. I doubt that she'll be very supportive and even my dad said that I shouldn't tell her until I'm well on my way to transitioning ^_^;

That is cool with the male names. Paul and Richard are two man names that work for any generation (unlike so many "fad" names that pop up again about every 50 years).

In the case of FTM, I would say dad's support is more important anyways. Who better to teach his new son about how to be a man, you know?

Len, I'm happy to read of your disclosure, but not at all surprised. Let me tell you a little story:

My daughter called an important meeting with my wife and I at a nearby restaurant. When we sat down we could tell that she was quite anxious. She is normally quite the bubbly, chatty person but this day she was quiet. Her attempts to make small talk fell flat. She seemed to be at a loss for words. After about 10 minutes of rambling she announced that she was a lesbian.

We replied "Honey, we know about that. Now, why did you call this meeting?"

It was a non-issue right from the start. As Christian fundamentalists, she did not know how we'd handle it. It was okay. We live by the first precept, which is to love one another.

Your dad loves you, it's plain to see. Now go on and bask in the glow of that love, knowing that he is on your side, no matter what happens.

Parenting - When you've got it right - it's right.

Best wishes
MsVal

Wish it was that easy for me! Happy for you bro! I have yet to come out to my parents. My mom is not that cool lol

Len, That is AWESOME!

Wishing you the best!

Nicole: Yeah, my dad has always been the one that's been there for me :) I like the idea of Len Richard or Len Paul but I'm not sure if I'm going to keep my name as Len or not. I'm rather partial to Alex or Sam :)

MsVal: Haha, I don't think that I could've ever been in the closet ^_^; Even when I came out as liking girls everyone was just like 'Yeah...saw that one coming' lol My dad's a really awesome parent and I know that he loves me, no matter what :)

Shadow: Thanks :) My mom isn't that cool either lol My dad suggested that I wait until well on my way to transitioning before mentioning it to her ^_^;

traci_k: Thank you :) I feel way better now that my dad knows ^_^

Len, it's nice to hear that your Dad is so cool!! I hope that when you do tell your mom, that you find the same unconditional love that you felt from your Dad. I have five daughters that I love very much, they don't always make the decisions that I would make, but I love them just the same, they will always be my kids and I will always love them and support the decisions they make.

I hope your mom suprises you. Just as your Dad seemed to know, maybe your mom does also. Best wishes on the road ahead, I'll look forward to updates in the months ahead.

Hugs Bria

WOW! I know how tough it is to have to screw up the courage to tell your parents/spouse you want to be a different gender; same person, just different.

I am also glad for you that your Father has been paying attention and had his answer ready for you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LenGray

'Love you too, let's watch Psych'

---

I am not sure I would want to emulate the foolishness of the characters on "Pysch"!

Just run through the possibilities with names combinations you like. All the while, remember YOU are the one who is to live with your chosen name when it becomes legal. Others can suggest or say "I do not like that" but it is YOUR choice. I guess if I had to give advice I would say - try to pick something that you won't be having to constantly explain because of the name itself. tsroadmap has some tips for selecting a new name and it could apply to anyone changing it.

Do not do what I do as a joke and say my old name was "Mike Hunt". Say it aloud at normal speed and you will hear the humor... Oh gyod the other day at Walgreen's they asked me put in a name for my photos and I wrote that, it was funny hearing the clerk say, "Are you Mike Hunt?"... :D She never caught on.

My personal opinion of your man name - "Alex" seems to work well. You just kind of look like an "Alex".

I'm glad you are with your Dad for obvious reasons Len. :)

Congratulations Len. Glad you came out to your Dad. I'm glad you have such a great relationship with him. Good luck with the baseball games.