Unaware of being at a LGBT friendly business

I am sure this forum is just like the local tg community where as many tg/cd people are unaware of the different types of businesses that are LGBT friendly. Over the several years I heard special outing stories where an individual went to their bank, doctor, hairstylist, restaurant, theatre, post office, etc crossdressed. Being active in the LGBT community, most often I am not surprised by how awesome the service was and how friendly some of the patrons were. Reason being is because usually the businesses I have seen been involved with the LGBT community in one way or another. Perhaps I seen them sponsor LGBT events, advertise in LGBT media, be involved in Pride Parades, and make theie presence known within the community.

So how sure are you that you have been to a business that isn't known to be a LGBT friendly business

Hard to tell. I have never shopped dressed but when I have shopped for feminine clothing for myself I have never felt unwelcome. Getting easier all the time.

Unless you are familiar with the business you may never know.

I certainly can't speak for Manitoba, but in Ontario, I assume businesses are friendly, and want my money. I haven't been wrong yet. I do avoid redneck bars, and places that Nascar hats with sunglasses perched on them congregate. A little common sense goes a long way. A chi chi pasteria with a pink haired waiter named Sean is more likely to treat you well than 'Bob's Big F*ckin beef' with a waiter that looks like Hoss from Bonanza.

Now, now, now, Paul...isn't that called "profiling", and sooo unacceptable in today's politically correct world... ;)

Then again, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, odds are...:thinking:

It would be great if someone could start a website (which is usefull in a advertising point) that rates shops/restaurants/etc etc etc, on there tg acceptability. It would have to work on a point system, by adding and subtracting points depending on feedback.

So... because I have received great service at just about every single establishment I have ever been to, does that mean they are a LGBT friendly business? Maybe business' are in the business of doing business and don't really care who they receive money from? And if that is not their policy, then generally they go out of business pretty quickly, and I don't do business with them anymore.

There have been a couple small issues but generally I have not had problems with businesses. Most of them treat me like they treat anyone else.

I live in NJ, where the state law is that all public accommodations must be LGBT friendly.
I've also found that most major cities are also very LGBT friendly.

Fortunately, by the time I had to start appearing in public as Debbie in cities that might not be so friendly, I blended in so well that most people don't see me as anything other than an attractive older woman. I still get a bit nervous when driving through rural areas of bible-belt states.

I am pretty sure that most national chains have by now adopted clear statements or policies in support of the LGBT community. And I've googled "LGBT friendly" coming up with an astonishing list of businesses here in Houston. Having the first Lesbian Mayor probably helps in that regard. As a result, I suspect that most places I would want to go are inherently open to serving the LGBT "market" if not overtly supportive. But I have also patronized a number of establishments that one wouldn't necessarily assume to be "friendly", including a car dealership in a small OK city, a tire repair shop in Topeka KS, and an IHOP in Sioux Falls, SD. I was a bit nervous about the repair places, but I was treated with great courtesy in both cases.

Well, up here in Lib'rul Massachusetts, its pretty much accepted, but the ones that are *specifically* LGBT friendly will often have some kind of rainbow flag emblem in their window or on their door. You can also check out their notice board (if they have one) and check out what business cards are posted there.

The web search is also an excellent idea.

- MM

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Originally Posted by Princess Chantal

So how sure are you that you have been to a business that isn't known to be a LGBT friendly business

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Is this another thread suggesting that we first ask the owner of the business if they are lgbt friendly before we do any business with them? Or are you suggesting that we put on our prettiest dress before we go to that business to find out how they will treat us? Because as far as I know, I've never seen a decal on a store that says anything like 'TG friendly business', or 'TG supporter' or anything like that.

Then again, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, odds are..

Lesley - it MIGHT just be a cross dressed chicken that passes.

Hi,

So gone are the days of just being accepted for who you are, doubt it,

Im accepted pretty much where ever i go. and maybe i have so many friends and people i know over the years 66 and they most have seen read and know of my changes and all pretty much male or female are so used to me now , its life as it is day to day,.....

we talk about what ever is the flavour of the day or what we or others are doing familys or well you name it,

i dont need a card to say im this or that. all i need do is turn up and say hi,

before i get in the door its hi noeleena......

...noeleena...

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

Is this another thread suggesting that we first ask the owner of the business if they are lgbt friendly before we do any business with them? Or are you suggesting that we put on our prettiest dress before we go to that business to find out how they will treat us? Because as far as I know, I've never seen a decal on a store that says anything like 'TG friendly business', or 'TG supporter' or anything like that.

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No it is not.....
I have never called a place asking if they are tg friendly and never will. There was another thread posted this week about ever going to a lgbt friendly place and there were many responses that mentioned that they never had. These never had posts brought up the idea of the thread and to let those folks recognize that it is a good chance that they have.
Seems like whenever someone mentions lgbt friendly, people focus on the night clubs.

And btw those walking duck posts popping up on the forum lately are quite annoying.

It is how you are as a customer as well as how much they would like your money! There are rainbow flags on some stores and businesses that want you to know where they proudly stand. Many national companies have all told their branches to be good to us! It is easy to get a sense of what to avoid..

I'm not sure if they are "officially" LGBT but you can't beat Dress Barn for accepting us as we are. They don't even blink when I go in en femme.

Hi Chantal, In this day and age so many businesses are with out us even knowing it.

I've been to a few stores that haven't been friendly over the years. Some acquaintances have told me that the BRIDAL SHOPS can be very unfriendly.

1. Went into a theatrical store of all places in New West Minister and had a cow ask me what I'm looking for and said, "sir I can not help you sir." as she shook her head from side to side.

2. Was in a custom bra store once and a cow was scowling at me the whole time and said I don't think we have your sizes.

3. I've been to a couple 2nd hand clothing stores over the years that didn't like my kind, made it known by giving me attitude and could careless about my money.

4. There are several bridal shops in our city that have kicked out members of the LGBT community, apparently told them NO WAY you will buy anything from here. I personally have not shopped at a bridal store and tested this mainly because I want to spend my cash on other things.

I have looked my best when I've gone into these places, shown respect, tried to WALK LIKE A DUCK but in the end I was seen as walking like the tranny looking for things to buy. LOL

Ok I just had to :)

Launa

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Originally Posted by Amanda M

Then again, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, odds are..

Lesley - it MIGHT just be a cross dressed chicken that passes.

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Now I have this image in my head of a chicken with a strap-on bill and webbed shoes...

In the same way that I have two profiles on Facebook, I also have two profiles on Yelp. Maybe we should start using that more for our femme side to write reviews for the great places we go to, Kohls, Lane Bryant, DSW, wig shops, the neighborhood Starbucks, etc and the places we don't get treated well. I am Tiffany B. let's find our friends and use the technology to help the friendly places and avoid giving money to the folks who don't want to serve us professionally

Hi Laura (previous message), and Chantel:

I've had several of those (tg unfriendly shops), but in my locale it is usually the exception rather than the rule.

Calling ahead is a must, and even checking with any local (or other) CD/TG/TS support groups.

I have had great luck with Macy's and the like, one lady at Lord & Taylor was less than friendly, but not pointedly negative. The big stores know how to make profits: customer is king, withing reason of course. One lady of an ethnic identity markedly not known for tolerance of anything outside of it's 'rule book' of submission, was less than pleasant at a Macy's. I dropped a note to the manager, not being complaining, but noticing: the potential for loss of business might be there. I got a note back saying the sales lady had several incidents of showing disapproval towards clients, and that she was offered work in a different department, or doing stock work. For a company to actively tell you of the actions taken, i thought was pretty impressive. I also got an 'additional 25% off of any clothing items' coupon- and was invited to call the manager next time before coming in and they would have a sales associate help me out with anything I needed. I spent over $250 on the next shopping trip-

Isolated minds foment prejudices- travel, real or vicarious (through literature or online stuff) dissolves prejudice. I think kids today are generally less prejudice mostly because they have so global a community to chat and interact with from and early age.

Keep the faith- things will get better yet.

BTW- in my current job search, i'm actively looking for LGBT friendly or owned businesses- I'd rather earn less working for an LGBT friendly or owned company, within reason... :-/

hugs

You can usually find an explicitly GLBT place by seeing which ones advertise in the local GLBT papers and whatnot and those who sponsor GLBT events in the community. A local trans support group can also usually point people in the right direction, especially for things like wigs and breastforms, electrolysis and TS oriented healthcare services.

Personally, I can tell pretty quickly if I am wanted or not in a business. If I am not, I take my money and leave.

Hi Chantal,

To be honest I don't really give it any thought. Not because I don't care but more so because it never crossed my mind. When I go out as Isha I just go out. If a store doesn't want my business or makes me feel less than welcomed, I leave (might have a few words with the management before I go).

Hugs

Isha

Well with me being 60 years old let me say this. Back in the day unfriendly sales associates were not uncommon. I was refused service more than once even when I was shopping for my wife or daughters. Most places did not make any big deal but being disrespected was not uncommon. However with that said, for the last 15 years it has changed a lot. Now days I shop pretty much where ever I choose and have not had any issues. Some one stated that rural areas are a problem but I disagree. They have a limited population so any chance for business is welcome. I went into a resale shop in a nearby town of 12,000 the the young lady that owned the place was super to work with. I was actually looking for some things for my handicapped daughter and she was helping me with blouses. I spotted a super cute skirt in my size and asked her about it. She said that it was not in my daughters size and I replied that it was my size. She did not even blink but grabbed it off the rack and took me to the dressing room. I purchased the skirt and she gave me a shoppers card and told me that it was valid for all purchases whether my own or my daughters. Now when I go in there she always shows me things that have come in that she thinks I would like. Not bad for a small town out in farm country.

As a gay guy my self and a shop owner i have no issues with anyone because each to thier own and who are we to judge, i welcome anyone and my staff are the same, i have to to say in all the years of owning the shop i,ve only ever had one cd in, ive had loads of gay lesbian folks in, its a shame i dont see cds in though or perhaps i have and i cant tell, never the less i make sure everyone is welcome.

On the subject of going into shops, yep ive had a few rude staff serve me in the past, thing is i look gay i stand out a mile i just as well have a tattoo across my forehead lol but ive come across staff that look down thier nose at me or treat me like scum, lol there are 2 times i remember well, one time i got sent out of a mens wear shop because he did not serve my kind and one time this guy served me in burger king years ago and when he gave me the change he touched my hand doing so and i cault him in the corner of my eye him rubbing his hands on his trousers, lol duno what he thought he was going to catch, last i heard you couldnt catch gayness lol so yea ive had my fair share of un gay friendly places but i take it all with a pinch of salt, not everyone is going to be on board with it and i respect that.

I don't think it will happen in my life time but it would be great if people could fully except CDs, gays, lesbians, bisexuals and all that jazz, having a world where you could go out and dress how you want and no matter what you wore no one took a blind bit of notice, I grant you times have changed so much now and things are easier but there are still corners that are very dark and people still determined to bring your world down

I'm very happy that times are changing. in the 60's I would call ahead and asked if that accepted cd's. if yes i bought there otherwise I was nowhere in sight. Also back then you could be killed and the police would not even try to solve your murder.