My SO's three shocks in a day

Well, My SO has been full of surprises lately. She never ceases to amaze me as to how well she is with all of this. Had I known I may have shared this side of me with her a long time ago but hindsight is 20/20 as it is with everything in life.

Last week she asked me to take May 1st off. I was thinking...anniversary? someone's Birthday? What am I forgetting here? as she seldom asks me to day any one certain day off. Turns out that she bought two tickets to the 2014 Women's expo. Talk about shock but when I asked who the second ticket was for her reply was "Joanne" which was the bigger shock.

I have mixed feelings about this, the femme side is giddy as all get to go see new products, clothes, and maybe learn some techniques (if I can without outing myself) but I feel that I may be way out of place there as I will certainly be in drab. I voiced this to her and then came the next shock...she suggested I go dressed.

That certainly is a no go. While I may be about an hour and a half from home, there are some people going there that I know of that I surely don't want to know anything about my femme side. If these two shocks weren't enough, the third was the suggestion that I "bring a bag" and we'll go to some nice area and I can get some outside time and she'll take some pictures.

That is a strong possibly as I haven't had a chance to dress in about a week now. I am hoping that time permits it but I guess it all depends on how much time we spend at the expo. One of our favorite stores reopened this last week and I am dying to go there and see what new stuff they have.

I don't have any questions or such....just wanted to vent about this a bit as it makes me think a bit and ow, it hurts lol

I'm now pounding my head on the desk and saying over and over.....why couldn't this be me?

Your SO is wonderful in stating the "extra ticket is for Joanne"! Unless you are comfortable and confident with your complete feminine presentation, please be cautious about revealing too much to too many! Enjoy.

I would say damn the torpedoes and go dressed anyway.

Chari, I'm not all that comfortable but I am told that I do present very nicely. I think it's just the fear that keeps me from just heading out the door on any given day.

Tracii, I have been thinking about it the last couple of days since she gave me the tickets but it keeps coming back to a couple of co workers going to the same expo on the same day that keeps me from seriously considering it. They both have big mouths and I don't need that attention. I am packing a bag though ;) just in case.

Will the coworkers recognize your wife? I ask as that is the most likely source of being outed. We think we look the same, but more often than not, when dressed though we may not pass as the perfect girl, we would rarely be recognized as our males selves. But our wives on the other hand will most likely be dressed as themselves and thus easily recognized by anyone that knows them. So, if no one that knows her is going, then I agree with Tracii.

Joanne, I know how you must feel. I'm a few weeks away from my first time going out dressed. It's something I never, ever thought I would possibly do, but it's happening with the support and friendship I've found here. Part of me is saying, "You're doing WHAT?!?" and is terrified, and another part of me is thrilled with the idea and can't stop thinking about it. I never felt a need to go out dressed, but I simply can't pass up this opportunity to find out, "What if?" You're very lucky to have this kind of support ;)

Nadine, My So knows both of these other women so they would recognize her in a minute which would get me outed just the same. Some days I just wish I could say to hell with it and just do it but not this week ;) I am grateful enough just to get some outside time if the weather and time affords it. Oh and Nice blog :)

Julie, that's exactly how I feel hon. You know that this may never come around again, or if it does, it would be such a long time off that you'll have many regrets until the next time even if you pass the next time also. I hold too many regrets over missed opportunities now.

You may not have ever thought you'd go out my friend but the experience of it is beyond words. Go and have fun even if all you do is walk around in a secluded area. A word of warning though.....once you have this experience, you'll want it time and time again. Don't be surprised how much you want it once your back in the house ;)

Thanks Joanne. Yeah I go out all the time, but if it is someplace that people would recognize my wife, I choose not to. So I totally know where you are coming from.

Then just go as a guy and don't worry about feeling out of place. I am sure the guy to girl ratio will heavily favor women, but you get to be that cool husband that is willing to go with his wife to support her and take an interest in her things. And besides, what a cool gift from obviously a very cool wife, so go enjoy yourself and revel in the fem convention.

:)

Oh, be a good sport and do it!

Hi Joanne, If I ever get an offer like that I will be dressed and setting in the car ready to go.

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Originally Posted by BLUE ORCHID

Hi Joanne, If I ever get an offer like that I will be dressed and setting in the car ready to go.

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That about sums up my feelings on it. I would not do anything intentionally on my own to be outed but if my wife is with me, under her terms, and her ideas, nothing anyone else says will matter that day.

Joanne, I'd jump at a chance to be out and about enfemme with someone you know and love. I got the opportunity to spend an entire day with my mom last fall shopping at an upscale mall in the southern part of Denver and then visiting the IKEA store. We made a system of being able to separate if we saw someone either of us knew, just a simple, 'it was nice to meet you, have a wonderful afternoon, I must be going now' and then walking away and then meeting up in a different part of the store. We figued if someone saw one of us, we'd just pass it off as a casual meeting of another shopper. Although we never got the opportunity to use it, I'd do it again if I have the chance.

Sounds like a load of fun. I hope you enjoy it!

My suggestion would be to go en femme, and make sure your SO introduces you as a friend, if you run into those coworkers. Of course, the obvious route would be to avoid them if possible, but have a back up plan.

Your SO is a wonderful gal. I would go dressed. You will have such a great time, and probably learn so much. You might be surprised that when there you feel like you are right at home.

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Originally Posted by ~Joanne~

as it makes me think a bit and ow, it hurts lol

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That's why I stopped thinking years ago, it hurts too much!

Loan your wife a wig, you'd be surprised how many people won't recognize her any more. But be careful, you don't want to lose your job over this.

Hi,

makes life interesting ,

The detail that stands out to me is you not wonting to be found out, Hmmm.... okay yet your SO is okay with that, so why not go.

Iv been to a few and have helped out at one ,I wellcomed people in and made sure every one who had a stall were okay, if any thing was needed i did it,

the other was a very large do again im involved with womens groups so some know me ,well most do.

Im sure you'd be far better than i at dressing and look like just another woman there id go for it take the lead from your SO.and have fun , dont miss out ,

hey i enjoy being with our groups and i get to meet so many people as well.

...noeleena...

I would say if it doesn't bother her and she obviously thought this out ahead of time go as Joanne, then again it isn't me being exposed to people I know. It feels like this could be Joanne's presentation to the rest of the world, I know that with my wife by my side I can do anything, how about you? I wonder if you don't go for it will you regret it forever and will your SO be so open again?

Several here have the right idea, especially Alexis -- I use the same plan. Your co-workers would not be expecting to find "Joe" if they see JoAnne with the wife. Unless you shriek "all is lost, woe is me" at the top you your lungs in your male voice upon seeing the co-workers, you can just slip away while they take up conversation with your wife. As is often said here, people don't see what they don't expect. You in full femme - they don't expect it, they won't focus on it unless you draw undue attention, and you could probably walk right up to them and ask the time, get an answer, and walk away and they'd be none the wiser. JoAnne is not expected to be Joe - their brains won't process the convergence unless you really make a scene.

I urge you, DO NOT allow this great gift from your wife to slip away. You'll regret it immediately and spend a great deal of time and energy second guessing yourself.

All of this IMHO.

Good luck and best regards (and get pictures of yourself at the Woman's Expo and post 'em).

We're all pulling for you.

Rhonda

There have been similar stories of a change of heart by women to their partner's dressing habits.

As good as it may be I would still find it hard to get my head around.

Really messes with my brain, "If I think about it."

As I have said before not too much deep thinking here. :)

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Originally Posted by ~Joanne~

That certainly is a no go. While I may be about an hour and a half from home, there are some people going there that I know of that I surely don't want to know anything about my femme side.

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So what if bu some fluke, you get spotted,, just say "Well, you know, When in Roam...."

I wish and pray my wife would be like this. I would be a dream cone true if my wife wanted to go out with me while I am in woman mode. I would not mid being seen by friends but to each is their own... maybe you look different enough where they would not recognize you?

If it were me (and a very jealous me right now lol) I wouldnjust say t hell with it and go, but that is me not you. If you do go and your wife or you happen to see these women what do you expect the consequences would be? If any? I personally would have thought that a guy in drab at a Women's expo asks more questions about yourself than them seeing you in femme at a Women's expo

I would be cautious, but at the same time you can also figure out an excuse like you lost a bet with her or plant the seeds early on that your wife is going there with your cousin (have a name prepared) and you'll be out with the guys golfing. I would think going in drab would attract more attention. Also these shows are huge, you never see people you know...but if you do, just look past them, stay cool and walk away as if you don't know them. Later on you make some comment that your wife and cousin spent too much again and next time you are dragging them out golfing instead.

...don't think about it too much - just go and follow your wife's lead, and maybe ask her what if?.... .......................Debra

I say go and have fun with it. If you happen to bump into these girls from work, Just say you lost a bet and this was part of the bet, taking your wife while dressed as a woman to attend a women expo, I'm sure your wife can vouch for that. But I certainly understand the concern about being recognized.

Have you told your wife about this concern with your co-workers? Your co-workers are the kind of people who would be interested in something like that show, and you might be surprised to find out that they accept your kind of interest in it, because other people like you go to these shows.

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Originally Posted by Jenny Elwood

be careful, you don't want to lose your job over this.

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I don't think it will cost Me my job persay but the ribbing and such would become unbearable. I am already the butt of all kinds of ribbing because they know I am going to this thing, imagine if they knew the whole story.....

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Originally Posted by noeleena

The detail that stands out to me is you not wanting to be found out, Hmmm.... okay yet your SO is okay with that, so why not go.

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I am going, just not dressed.

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Originally Posted by Michelle V

I know that with my wife by my side I can do anything, how about you? I wonder if you don't go for it will you regret it forever and will your SO be so open again?

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Nope but I am at least honest about it lol I just accepted that THIS is me about a year ago....I still have hurdles that need jumping, not to say that this wouldn't be a good one to try, but I am just not at that point yet.

I will probably regret it for sure but My SO is very supportive, there will be another time and another place.

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Originally Posted by Rhonda Darling

you could probably walk right up to them and ask the time, get an answer, and walk away and they'd be none the wiser. JoAnne is not expected to be Joe - their brains won't process the convergence unless you really make a scene.

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I don't really have a femme voice. I have practiced but haven't developed one. The one time that I have been out, to Janet's Closet, I just used my male voice. It's not overly deep but it's not feminine either. The minute I spoke to either....they would know.

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Originally Posted by shawnsheila

maybe you look different enough where they would not recognize you?

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I am told that but I am my own worst critic. Once I spoke though it's all out the window.

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Originally Posted by natalie_cheryl

If you do go and your wife or you happen to see these women what do you expect the consequences would be? If any? I personally would have thought that a guy in drab at a Women's expo asks more questions about yourself than them seeing you in femme at a Women's expo

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You know I have been thinking about this for two weeks now. The consequences, especially at work, would be endless ribbing and who knows what else. I don't know how the family would react as they are a wishy washy bunch. If I got spotted en femme by either of these two co workers, the whole world might as well know....whether that's a good thing or a bad one is unknown but I feel in my gut that this isn't the time to find out.

I agree with the male at a women's convention comment that's why I am sort of having mixed emotions about even going but the up side is that i will have fun without anyone knowing it ;)

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Originally Posted by Butterfly Bill

Have you told your wife about this concern with your co-workers?

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Yes we have discussed it and she said that if I didn't feel comfortable doing it, I probably shouldn't. She just wanted to offer me the opportunity figuring we were an hour and half out and chances of knowing anyone would be slim. It was her suggestion that I bring a bag and change afterwards to enjoy a bit of time outside femme.

Just so everyone knows reading this, I do plan on going and having a nice day out with my SO no matter what anyone thinks (at the convention) I just probably won't do it en femme. To many risks involved. I do plan on dressing afterwards though and going out somewhere if time permits. I certainly will take pics ;)

Thanks for all the feedback :)

So, the problem is what? Everyone should have your problems!

Go dressed but at different times than your co-workers :D

joanne, i always love your look and think that you are gorgeous!! your wife is an amazing person! such a shame that you can't go dressed :(
i have a feeling that if you did run into someone that you knew while dressed, they would think you look fantastic and probably want to know
where you shop!! :)

Sandra, unfortunately, the best freebies, according to my SO are on the first day and shortly after they open. She doesn't want to miss them.

Thank you Paula :D your too kind

Joanne.....so cool about your S O very very cool hon:hugs:

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My So knows both of these other women so they would recognize her in a minute which would get me outed just the same

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Totally get that now that I live here and people know ME we come across this too and things we used to do are a bit harder to do because of me. We have still gone to local things but I have had people see me and run over to hug me ect....we just seperate...but it is stressfull. Most the time now we go a town away.....maybe your wife might want to take a drive and have a picnic in the near furure since she was so open.

Your post makes me happy.:love:

Thank You Di :D My SO is so great that it is beyond words. I have only heard of a handful of wives that are the same and I have a great friend that rivals my SO in acceptance, support and everything else. Believe me, I know how blessed I have been to have found her and that goes way beyond the CDing.

We are actually planning on a drive tomorrow after the convention and have already packed my bag ;) Where that road leads, we'll find out ;) Thanks again

One persons problem is another persons dream come true. But, I do,understand the hesitation. But it is still a good problem to have.

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Originally Posted by ~Joanne~

You know I have been thinking about this for two weeks now. The consequences, especially at work, would be endless ribbing and who knows what else. I don't know how the family would react as they are a wishy washy bunch. If I got spotted en femme by either of these two co workers, the whole world might as well know....whether that's a good thing or a bad one is unknown but I feel in my gut that this isn't the time to find out.

....

Yes we have discussed it and she said that if I didn't feel comfortable doing it, I probably shouldn't. She just wanted to offer me the opportunity figuring we were an hour and half out and chances of knowing anyone would be slim. It was her suggestion that I bring a bag and change afterwards to enjoy a bit of time outside femme.

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Apologies if this has been asked and I just didn't see it, but I have to ask how well your wife knows your two co-workers. Is it possible that your co-workers would be more open to meeting Joanne than you currently fear? (I'm guessing perhaps not, but that might be an unplanned benefit of the invitation from your wife.)

Andrea, Sorry I guess I should have added that detail at some point. We all worked together at one time. She actually knew them before I did. She doesn't work there any more but she is still good friends with one of them.

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Originally Posted by ~Joanne~

Thank You Di :D My SO is so great that it is beyond words. I have only heard of a handful of wives that are the same and I have a great friend that rivals my SO in acceptance, support and everything else. Believe me, I know how blessed I have been to have found her and that goes way beyond the CDing.

We are actually planning on a drive tomorrow after the convention and have already packed my bag ;) Where that road leads, we'll find out ;) Thanks again

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Joanne, indeed those of us with supportive SO's and wives are SO fortunate. Enjoy the ride!!

... and maybe ... just maybe ... you'll see something at the convention you really like....

I don't pass in any way. But if I got what you just got I'd so be there.:hugs:
Angie

Hey Joanne we are looking forward for you pics... :)

Guessing if your SO suggested you go 'dressed', she has no fears of you being recognized by your coworkers, or doesn't care..
Personally, I'd 'pack a bag' and do the 'after' thing, but go in DRAB to the show..
As often as my wife says "lets go out now" while I'm dressed, and I beg off, the stuff at work would be a real grind if the Co-Workers are anything like my step-daughter can be.... Horrors! I'm looking forward to a weekend out, but we will avoid exposure to my co-workers.. I'd love for some of them to 'know', but others can make like difficult.. IMHO.. Have fun whatever your choice..

If you don't go dressed, you will wake up the next day wishing yu had. Life is to short for regrets

I had disappointments... http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...4-Women-s-expo but I wouldn't call them regrets. I have been blessed with my SO's love and support and can dress pretty much whenever I want, inside or out, for as long as I want. There will be another time, place, and opportunity. I think I made the right call not going there dressed but that's the fear talking ;)