Thinking of going out in the daylight for the first time. Fear is creeping in. Ugh.

So, I have a group I am going to go to a meeting with. I am not required to dress but I have been to the meetings and the others are dressed. So, I thought to myself, "I am going to try to get the courage to go as Vicki". Alas, my insecurities have kicked in. The meeting is tomorrow night. So it will be starting to get darker when I go, but it won't be the late late (we early morning) hours I have gone out before (when no one was around).

My GF said I look great and that she really does not think anyone will even wonder. So I have that, but still, I am frigging nervous.

Aaaaaaaa

Ok, thank you for reading. I at least expressed some energy. Now to get the bad energy out and go for it. (aaaaak!).

Exactly how I felt the first time I went out in public dressed. But in the company of friends, in a friendly environment and with a confident stride, all the fear slips away. Go for it and have fun!

And be sure to let us know how it goes ... ;)

Go for it. Be confident and enjoy.

If you are going out with the group I am thinking about, you'll be just fine.

If it is a different group, you'll be just fine.

The hardest thing for most of us to pass ..... is the front door. Once you're out and about, it gets better. Really. Do your best, dress to blend and you'll be fine....

Enjoy the butterflies.... eventually they go away and you'll miss them... kind of.

Renne.....

Own it Vicki! :D

Go out, be nervous, and revel in it afterwards! You can't top the joy of going out with your girlfriends! We all are a little frightened at first but people really aren't paying that much attention. You will find that most of your fear is in your head.

Can't wait to hear how it went!
Debby

Vicki,
A little apprehension is a good thing, it helps balance reasoning and keeps that pink fog to a lower level.

Weigh all your considerations up, and having read everybody's experiences and suggestions...... Go out and enjoy yourself.

Going out enfemme is something that you will grow to love.

It's all about confidence first.
From how how your GF sounds, it seems like you will have no problem.

Wish I had some support up here in Nor Cal.

I find it hard to find people to support me in trying to get out while en femm

I don't know where you are in Nor Cal but if you are anywhere near Sacramento, check out the River City Gems! We have monthly events and always a fun, safe, and friendly environment!

Well, by this writing you have either gone and done it or gotten cold feet. I hope you listened to your GF and broke through that thin wall of insecurities. It's really much better on the other side!

I think many of us have been there before... its the most nerve wracking yet exhilarating experience to go out for the first time in girl mode. Its kinda like that big wall you have to use a rope to climb over at an obstacle course... it looks scary and if you keep thinking about it, you'll never get over the wall... you have to just take a deep breath and just do it... don't think about it... just do it. The next thing you know you'll be at the bottom of the wall on the other side, arms in the air as a victor.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Debglam

...if you are anywhere near Sacramento, check out the River City Gems! We have monthly events and always a fun, safe, and friendly environment!

---

Te RCG was where I first came out. Debby is a doll and will help you wander your new path gracefully. The drive is a bit too far for me so I have found a group in San Jose.

Hi Vicki . . . welcome to the "waiting to pass the front door club". It is natural to be nervous as going out "en femme" leaves you open to all sorts of potential happenings, good and bad. However, you will find that most people don't care even if they clock you as a guy and if they do, they normally have the good graces to keep it to themselves. Once you get out and about you will find it the biggest "non-event" and wonder "why the butterflies". However, caution is a good footing to have so do remember to be careful as I note you are going out at night . . . my advice for your first trip, stick to the venue of the meeting, go have fun then go home . . . breath then prep for the next time. Because once you go out, you'll be chasing that dragon from that point forward.

Hugs

Isha

I would think going to a support group would be the best way to start going out in the daytime. Just knowing that you'll be with others with the same proclivity, and who've been there themselves, should lessen any butterflies.

Out in the daylight!!!! OMG!!!! Call Emergency Services first so they can set off the sirens and announce to hide all the children, dogs, and those that might have weak hearts. :)

There are several ways to go out. As mentioned, a trip to a support group is a good choice. A trip to a park in the middle of the day usually works because there are less people. It gives you a chance to get out in the sunshine and stretch your legs. Go for a ride in your car. Start small and as your confidence grows step up your outings. Soon you will be at the mall on Saturday mid morning with everyone else and not care one way or the other who might see you.

Vicky, your fears will melt once you walk out the door. Do think about venue and time and dress for that. Daytime makeup is normally quite light. Less is more. Daytime and casual usually go together unless you are going to a formalesque luncheon, for example. Simple = blending...

Going out in the daylight is actually easier,safer and less stressful.

Please to "BillyAnnJean" and her post from today about not being pretty enough --- funny and a new perspective - just dress (for yourself) and have fun:D........................Debra

First time is tough, it gets easier each time after

About once a week I go to an informal group that meets at the local Hamburger Mary's, I've been going for several months now. I'm still a little nervous as I walk from the car to the door. Don't know why, because of all the times I've gone there has never been one hint that anyone recognized me as a "man in a skirt" or any such thing. Once I'm inside with the group, its a nonissue, I'm comfortable and have fun!

Dress up and go for it!!

Hugs Bria

Hi Vicki,

Pull up those big girls' undies and get in there :heehee:. Seriously, I know that feeling oh so well, but seeing as you already know the group, you might actually feel more relaxed and a part of the group once dressed. Stage fright is to be expected, but it also gives an extra spur for me to beat that enemy.

Anyway, you have to go dressed so that you can report back.....no pressure, but within 24 hours girl....OK? :devil:

Rebecca

Good for you Vicki, i know the first steps are nerve wracking but I finally did mine the other day and i'm not looking back..


Tina

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tracii G

Going out in the daylight is actually easier,safer and less stressful.

---

I would have to agree with you on that. I do go out at night as well to. I've been going out for a year now. So yes it gets easier each time. When you first go out go with a friend. That'll help you out. Once you get comfortable after that you could always be able to go out by yourself.

Take care, Nikki

You are going to love it! If you have been dreaming of this moment them seize it. Don't look back! When your heels hit the pavement it is going to be a thrill you will never forget. The world is waiting.
Hugs
Suzanne

Yes! Go for it! You will wonder afterward why you ever hesitated. And it just gets easier. You rock, honey.
Hugs
Sammie

I am near sacramento, and the gems told me I wasn't welcome :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by RenneB

The hardest thing for most of us to pass ..... is the front door. ..

---

Yea Renne !!!! You nailed it !!!! Yes have fun....and put on some cute sunglasses..I love daytime for that reason...wearing my favorite pair of Jackie O's .......

I did it. I did it. IIiiiiieeeee dddidddidddidddd iiitiiitiiiitttttttt. OMG. I did it.
Pant pant. Holy Cow. Talk about a mission. Whew. It was awesome and yet terrrrriiiiffffiinngggg at the same time.
The support group was awesome too. The group is the Diablo Valley Girls (www.diablovalleygirls.org) and they are great. If your in the North end of the Bay Area, it's a great group to be with. Sacramento is a little to far for me.

As for the experience. Yips and Yippieeee. Jorja's response is perfect for this experience. You will all love this one.

Out in the daylight!!!! OMG!!!! Call Emergency Services first so they can set off the sirens and announce to hide all the children, dogs, and those that might have weak hearts. - - - This is precisely what I expected. I have a mother that drove into me the horrors of men that Cross Dressed. Or as she put it, "Men who dress like women are sick. They need to be castrated and then hung. Killed slowly". No, she has no idea and as long as is possible, won't know. So yes, I was fearful of being attacked, or arrested as if I were some child molester or something. So it was very hard to go out. Yet, Iiieee dddiiiiiddd iiiititttttt.

--- My original plan was to go a few hours early to try and just relax and adjust. Give myself time to breath, relax in the meeting room before meeting, etc. Fear was there though and in the end, I left early enough to be there about 45 minutes early. -------

There are several ways to go out. As mentioned, a trip to a support group is a good choice. ---- agreed. This is probubly the BEST time to do so for the first time if it's an option -----
A trip to a park in the middle of the day usually works because there are less people. ---- I bet this is the case...normally. So, I got to the meeting 45 minutes early and felt confident enough (getting out of MY town and into one that no one knew me helped here) that instead of sitting around, I went walking. Well, across from the building was a park with a TON of people. There was a Farmers Market like thing going on with Massive amounts of people. (aaaaaaaa!). Yet, I took a deep breath, and started walking to the park anyway....and fell down. LOL. OMG, I was laughing so hard while getting up. People came running over to help me but I was up before they could. I was laughing at myself thinking, "only me, only now. This is a test of my courage and dam-it, I am going to pass it". Off into the park and about 1000+ people (at least that is what it felt like) I went. For those that know Concord Ca, it is the park across from the Spaghetti Factory and it was Thursday. I walked all the way around the park, kept from looking at anyone in the eye and just smiled a lot (I do that when nervous AND happy). Yet, the smile got many others to smile back. Not only that, but I got the Humpf, she thinks she's so cute (grumpy) looks from many (grungy looking, unclean, dirty, don't care how bad they look) women. I also got a Wow, she's hot, from a man. It was pretty intense.

It gives you a chance to get out in the sunshine and stretch your legs. ----- I stretched them for a good 30 minutes of walking around the public. Oh how good I felt by the time I was at the meeting. I felt like I could do this every day. Wow.-----

Go for a ride in your car. ---- The drive is were my confidence started. Once out of my home town, it was as if I was Vicki and no one else. I felt ......well it felt like I was me. I belonged the way I was. It felt right, and great.

Start small and as your confidence grows step up your outings. Soon you will be at the mall on Saturday mid morning with everyone else and not care one way or the other who might see you. ------ lol, my GF asked me this am when we were trying to figure out what we wanted to do if I wanted to go out as Vicki with her to the Mall. OMG. I was wanting to, but with it being the 4th, I was wary that we might run into a lot of people and more worried that if people were drinking, they might not be as....well they might not be in control shall we say. So I opted out and said that we will go on a different day when it's not a holiday. Yep, it's going to come. She is wanting to. She likes the idea of going out with Vicki to the Mall. To the stores and such. Now to get myself ready for that because that will most likely mean having to do the one most scary of all for me. Using a restroom. (Holy @#%%@#. Now that really does scare me). Can I be arrested for using the women's restroom if I am not in transition and just a CD'er?

So, the experience was awesome. I already know I will be Vicki tomorrow and so, I will try to get some good pics of me to post even. Give you all a chance to see me.

Till then, this is, was and will be an amazing experience. If there are any of you in the North Bay and have not yet been out but want someone to go with. Let me know, we can see about you coming with me to the DVG when I go. Going to the Support group as your first time going out in full in the day time is great way to go. Who better to help you feel secure once you reach your destination than a support group. :D

Love you all. Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement.

Oh, before I go. I am going to post one more time with an explanation as to why I think "I" Vicki feel the comfort of being Vicki over when I am not. So catch it if you see it.

Again, thank you so much.

Vic

As promised, pictures are up on the following thread. "Thread: Post your Selfies HERE!!"
Love you all.
Vicki

Good for you, Vicki!

I remember the butterflies in my stomach the first time I went to a supermarket as Amy...I nearly slipped on a slick part of the floor, and some teenagers coming out of the store may have been laughing at me (or not, I couldn't tell), but it went just fine!

Now, all fear of being out as Amy is long since gone. I am no longer the frightened crossdresser I was, I have become a "woman of the world"! Just today I went out as Amy three times to do some shopping for my fiancee...and this was in the middle of the day, in brilliant sunlight! (And I regretted I couldn't stay out long enough to go looking through Ulta Beauty or Sally Beauty Supply lol :) ) Nobody paid me any mind in my black-and-white sundress and sandals...I even saw another woman dressed much the same as I was!

Keep going out, and eventually you, too, will lose the fear.

- Amy

Congratulations!

Glad your experience was positive, Gamer! I think that we all remember our first experience out the door and mine was similar to yours, a CD group meeting.

Looking back on it some of my fears seem a bit silly now, but they were very real then!

Vicki just go out into the light and be Vicki!

Hi Vicki,

Yes! You did it. "You did it. UUUUUUeeeee dddidddidddidddd iiitiiitiiiitttttttt. OMG. U did it!!!" :cheer: ... and yes, Jorga and everyone had it right on. (Thanks for the fun read -- it's like we were all experiencing what you were feeling!)

If you are like many of us, you won't forget that first time -- I know I haven't! Even though I've been out a fair bit, I still get that little rush when I'm out the door. (kinda nice, really.) Bet you can't wait for that shopping trip with your fiancee -- you'll both have a lot of fun! We've had lots of threads about using the ladies' room -- do check them out. (E.g. empty the bladder before you leave, and if you do need to use it, just do a quick in - out.) Isn't it great how a smile reaps its rewards? One bit of advice from Lacey Leigh -- do "Look in eye, look in eye" -- it adds that touch of confidence that helps (at least it helps me.)

Enjoy!!!

Claire

Hi Vicki, You are out there now and there will be no holding you back now.

I just did for my first time, how exhilarating it was.:) If you didn't go out and do it now!

The first time is the hardest. I now actually prefer going out during the day and doing "normal" things as long as it is not too hot out.

Congratulations Vicki! What a great outing, bet you will be buzzing for days :)

As with most things that require confidence, baby steps is generally the way to go. Set achievable targets and continue to challenge your self with each successive attempt. Now to follow up on my own advice. My first (and so far only) outing occurred recently at a seaside town away from m y home. I had planned to go out at 3.30am as remote chance of meeting anyone. Renee is right when she says getting out the front door is most difficult. I went to the main street, parked and walked up and down window shopping. The experience was absolutely amazing and one of the most exciting things I have done. Every fibre of my being was stimulated.
A more detailed account is described in Playing away from home.
Vicki if you went out I hope you felt the same way. I look forward to the next outing and the opportunity to experience with other CD friends
Cheers
Amanda

My first time out in the daylight happened the day I was expecting a package from amazon. The mail came I went out to get the mail and had completely forgot that I was dressed. I was walking back to my house with the mail and package an noticed I was dressed. I saw my reflection on my car window. I was a bit nervous for a second then just walked back into my house.