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I went to a big festival recently. Three days. There were thousands of people there and I saw hundreds personally. I counted the crossdressers. How many did I count?
Zero. None. Not even a suspected crossdresser. I wonder sometimes how many crossdressers actually do go out in public. In my experience, few if any.
I guess that depends on where you live and what events you go to. I for one go out quite abit in Seattle. Festival this and show that or just out to go out. I've seen plenty of other crossdressers out and about.
But think about it. If your at a festival with 1000's of people. You can't look at all of them and honestly our numbers are what, 2% 1.5% of the populace.
The other is. Did you get dressed up and go out? That makes one right there if you! And if you didn't. Then you are your own answer to your question of why and how many go out.
Cheers
I have seen may be 3 when I was out in male mode. My wife said she say one at the theater we volunteer at I was working a different door so I did not see her.
I saw one today...ok it was me! :o. Windy day today, was wolf whislted at by some scaffolders, well I was showing a bit too much of my boobs off due to windy conditions, so ok, I must be quite convincing!, will get some pictures up when I can get my iphone to talk to this site. x
Thanks to admin for heads up ref my avatar, will find something more suitable....
S.O. Saw one of us in the elevator at work yesterday. Said she was very pretty and 2 of her friends didn't realize they had just shared a ride with a CD. "She didn't out the young lady to her friends either"
I agree with you Krisi. I rarely see crossdressers unless I go to a venue that is crossdresser friendly. I did see another this weekend just by chance as I was waiting in a parking lot and noticed a man putting on a wig and doing his makeup in his car. He never got out an eventually drove away.
I am actually not at all sure if I could tell if a man over 50 who chooses to dress as a woman and is a little bit careful about presentation was a man. I understand that if you are young, built or particularly hairy you might have difficulty passing, but if you are older, the same general shape as most people in America middle aged and older, wearing a wig, a bit of make-up and ordinary female clothes I doubt I could tell at a glance. I see plenty of older women that certainly could be men.
You were at a festival. Depending on what kind of a festival (i.e. not lollapalooza) I would bet that you saw a few cross dressing men but because they were over 50 your eyes just glided right over them.
This could, of course, be my own cluelessness. I'm not interested in blending in, which is just as well since now Winter is starting to swish her skirt across Florida I seem to be the only person not female at birth who is wearing tights in my town.
BUT
I'll bet a bunch of the older girls who dress in public but dress like older women actually dress (no tutus, no minis!) here would agree. If you are no longer young you are, essentially, invisible (or, in my case, just weird).
Yes, as a middle-aged woman, pretty much my options are dress to be weird or dress to be invisible.
LOL! You have no idea. I've been dressing in public for over 34 years. I can count on one hand how many times I know I was read. Have no idea how many times I was read that I was not aware. The point is that those of us that dress to blend can be pretty good at it. We know places to go that people would never suspect crossdressers to frequent. We can hide our concerns (even though sweat is pouring from our pits) when someone starts staring til they look away after they realize they must be wrong after all. I can say that I have shopped for groceries, clothes and even hardware dressed. I've dined at Chili's and high end restaurants in NYC without raising an eyebrow. It's not because I am super petite or that pretty. I just act and dress like every other woman that I have been observing for years. And like these women, I go about my task without regard for those around me and they do the same. We are all over the place and even with my radar always up, (even in drab) I have only spotted a few that were obvious. Others that I suspected could have just been manly women in need of serious HRT. And yes, since I see the age thing has been raised, the older we get the more womanly men can look and the more manly women look with us meeting in the middle where we all blend. So give up looking and just accept that we are spending a day or evening among you and happily spending the day as our girly selves.
I see them here and there, not too often, but now I have an excuse to tell my last encounter/experiment cause I wasnt going to start a thread on it. But found it something worth sharing with gals who are afraid of going in public.
At the mall ( where else do cd's go during the day?) As I was walking down the hall in guy mode with my girly shopping playlist on, a CD sister popped out of JC Penny's right in front of me ( I read her right away) and started walking parallel to me right NEXT to me. What do I do? I never been in this situation before. I only READ about it on the forum. Do I say something? Do I whip out my phone and show her a selfie and say " Hey...THAT'S ME? I decided that was a bad idea, but I was still curious and the nerdy blogger in me kicked in and decided to create my own little experiment. I was going to watch her, from the distance ( without being creepy) and see if she gets read, and watch the reaction of the public to a sister. So I pretended to fumble for something and dropped a few steps back and now watched EVERYONE ELSE she passed .She made it to the center of the mall without anyone batting an eye, when she continued down the next wing, a gal working inside a jewelry shop saw her right away, smiled to herself, and went back to work. She made it down the entire wing AGAIN without anyone noticing. Now she ventured into Macy's where one male sales associate read her, and when she passed he immidiately ( and immaturely) went looking for the nearest employee to tell of his sightings. She proceeded up the escalator to the womens dept. This is where the story ends cause lucikily thats where I parked and was headed home anyway. I know..not really that exciting of a story. But my point is nobody cared, except the immature macy's sales rep...who diddnt really care, just probably needed some excitement in his boring day. She did fine. No harm,no foul. How did I read her right away? She was wearing the crossdressers uniform of Knee high boots, pencil skirt, long sleeve blouse. ..no biggie...but it was the FIRST week of Sept ...STILL pretty much summer here...thats what drew my eye first...just an observation I made...it was interesting to witness...but not really all that exciting...
What was your criteria for deciding that someone was a crossdresser? I go out several times a week to many different places and I do not think that very many (if any) people would think that I was a crossdresser. I try my best to present myself as just another woman.
Divida is correct I think the older CDs have an easier time of passing. Most male start loosing the leg hair and arm hair and then they start wearing more loose fitting clothes. It's just what us old gals do. Usually don't see the elderly GGs in very high heels, lots of makeup, or short noticeable skirts. The older I get the more I wish they would reverse that trend but it won't happen, as they are out for comfort now and not trying to impress any and every one. I've noticed a trend on here that it seems there are lots of gals over fifty. Maybe it's the testosterone slipping away, who knows..
You were out TRYING to bust people. Something Mean Ol' Society simply does not do. They do not care because they have no reason to care. You were trying but had little success. That's REALITY.
Many of the full dressers here also go about their business "looking for sistahs" Many of them have also never seen any other CDers out in the RW. Or they see "plenty" at LGBT friendly places. For many here, "those" kind of places are the ONLY places they go. Many here claim to bust sistahs out in the RW because their feet or hands were too big or their voices too deep. Real GGs are quite capable of any of this. Or having the audacity to have lipstick on that clashed with their shoes or a purse too big or small or any number of things.
You were looking but couldn't find ANY. I'm guessing you are sharp enough to realize that all GGs are not going to be doing their best female presentation [according to many here] perfectly at all times. So you were not suspicious of some of them? Were you scrutinizing the running shoes of everyone? Certainly there may have been a man or woman wearing a pair of the opposite sex simply because they liked them/they fit better? Were you making sure that EVERY man you saw was not wearing FEmale jeans? Or shorts? And/or shoes? Reasonable people here who shop in B&M stores realize that MANY FEmale items are indistinguishable from men's.
Chances are good you saw but missed many? Unless you have Xray vision, you don't really know for sure how many were wearing the WRONG underwear.
Do you?
IF a man wears Mantyhose but not pantyhose, is he still CDing? Pantyhose WERE originally designed for women.
How many "ladies" did you walk by who were sitting down? MUCH harder to bust someone bust when they are simply sitting.
It's reasonably easy to conclude that NOT many of the "full dressers" that water here are out there roaming about. Undoubtedly SOME are but they most likely stick to the LGBT events/places. This is supposed to be the largest "family oriented" or something to that effect CDing site in the world and yet ...
Losing the NIMBY attitude and just getting out there "dressed" however one wants to is a simple and easy cure.
Very few of the CDers on the planet are full dressers. And or need to/do go out.
So what. No right or wrong way to do this and in my state [at least] there are no LAWS that say a man cannot "dress" or present any way he wants do.
THE limiting factor to presentation is the person in the mirror.
Ever think that maybe they were that good that you couldn't tell? Really, who goes out looking for CDer's at public events?:)
I used to go out but don't so much now unless I go to club like The Way Out, on Saturdays in London.
I used to go en femme to Cinema, mostly blend and watch girly movies... It's more hassle if I'm out late.
I don't notice many crossdressers when I'm out and about, on public transport or shopping in supermarket.
If I do think of going shopping en femme, mostly now I change my mind and end up in drab mode.
Maybe not as bold as I used to be when I was younger.
So how many quilters did you see? How many people from New York? How many had eggs for breakfast? What you see is really often not what is real. If you saw me, you would probably not notice. If you did see any CDs that would be a "fail" for them unless they wanted to be seen. Usually they don't wear a banner.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
How many go out in public? Who knows? How many CDs are there in the world? Who knows?
What Stephanie and Lorileah said...If you had been at the Alex Colville painting exhibition at the Art Gallery of Ontario here in Toronto yesterday around 7:30 P.M., you would have spotted me there in "Leslie" mode.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie Julianna
Then again, maybe not. From what I could tell, I must have blended in seamlessly (maybe even "passed"), as no one - except possibly the female ticket taker - seemed to take any particular notice of me.
And while this ticket taker did go out of her way to speak to me and exchange a few pleasantries as she scanned my ticket (and again on my way out), I suspect that it had more to do with the fact that she likely saw me as a fellow middle-aged woman who was dressed far more smartly than the rest of the patrons. She was probably also impressed by the care I had obviously taken to put myself together fashionably, and which was in sharp contrast to the dull, grey, non-descript work uniform that she was obliged to wear to perform her duties...
Like Adriana, the last CDer I saw out and about brought my attention because of the long platinum blonde hair and heeled boots with a short skirt. Having said that, I was able to sit back and watch as we waited for a subway car, rode in the car, and then started walking after we got off at the same stop. Literally no one gave her a second look! I must admit it made me smile for the rest of the day that we really do blend in without a problem if we have a reasonable presentation, and act like the girls we are trying to emulate, doing it with surety!
But that speaks to the OP...not seeing a sister is probably very likely in the general population. Not sure what kind of festival it was, but blending in with a themed festival is probably easier than the mall!
I'm a CD and even SA's think I'm a lady until I speak, which is why when I'm out with my wife she does all the talking.
The point is if I'm fooling SA's in department stores and restaurants, what chance would you have "picking me out"?
Check-out my photo if you don't believe me.
Hi Krisi,
I do go out quite often as Isha . . . in fact just got back from Isha time. However, while I can blend to a certain degree I seldom pass close inspection. So yeah, I am sure you would have picked me out of the crowd pretty quick if you were looking. The funny thing I have learned is that people are not looking so if you walk with confidence (own the moment) and dress to blend, most people won't see past the initial "looks like a duck, walks like a duck so it must be a duck".
Hugs
Isha
I live in vegas. I do see girls out from time to time but even here the sightings are rare.
Many have entertained crossdressers unaware. Trust me.
On the rare occasion that I come across another dresser,I usually don't notice until someone else points them out.Ironic,being a dresser myself.The only time I noticed was a short while ago at an airport,and then only because one of them was dressed way over the top,almost like she wanted to be read.Her friend with her was lovely,and I never would have made her otherwise.I envied her.
I like Lorileah's reply. How many dressers live in the US? How many in your town? How many fit on the head of a pin?
Wait. Let's all count together: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc. ad finitum!
Mmmm!
Spot the cross dresser.
I was in Dallas Fort Worth the other day and saw some big beefy women, not body builder types but large proportioned women, I would never consider them dressers as I really don't care for the eternal search.
The only dressers I see are hirsute bearded types.
That is a rare occurrence.
Natasha,
I did not see any in Attle today, I will look downtown tomorrow.
Saw a crossdresser on a random trip to the grocery store tonight, they are out there, depending where you live you see more or less, no big deal either way.
Nice to meet you. That was me! Oh, wait. You're from San Diego; it wasn't me.Quote:
Originally Posted by GinaD
OK. So let's not count the half a dozen I've seen at the Renaissance Festival. And let's not count any of us when i went out to dinner with two or three or 20 CD friends.
I've still seen a half a dozen easily, and my record is two in one night (unrelated). And it was usually something different that gave them away. For example, hairy arms, wiggy wig, comportment (walking, eating) plus own who works at the supermarket who is just out and owns it.
I go out every 2 weeks. People look, people might laugh, people sometimes get the 1 finger salute. But I'm not full time, if you doubt I go out then come to my city. We have a big masquerade event coming up next weekend and I will be standing out alright. LOL you should see my facebook page!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
I've been full time "obvious" (i.e., skirts or dresses) for over 2 years, and on HRT for 2 2/3 years; I was 24/7 "not always obvious" (e.g., women's jeans, jeggings) for a few years before that. My hair is about 18" long, which is down to my bust.Quote:
Originally Posted by devida
I still to this day get people calling me "Sir" after a glance at me, even before I have spoken. (The portion of people who call me "Ma'm" after I have spoken is very small. My voice is not deep or "manly" but it doesn't have the "music" that women's voices have.)
Do people hassle me beyond automatically mis-gendering me when I am presenting female? No, or at least very few. But they "read" my face at a glance. Always did, even with wigs and full professional make-up. Including in bad light, from a distance. I am not a disturbance; people don't pay attention to me, and they don't "avoid" paying attention to me either. But that doesn't mean they don't "see" the original gender at some level.
The only time in my part of the world I ever seen a crossdresser out in public was one passing through getting gas at a local fill up spot. There is a guy who wears a kilt I see at auctions sometimes but then I don't think he is crossdressing because he wears the other Scottish items that goes with that.
Some years ago we were in Trinidad Colorado and at that time there was clinic there that did a lot of sex change surgeries. I did see I think if memory servres me three TG there, one of them was working in the restaurant we were eating at. At that time I think Trinidad was listed as the sex change capital of the world.
Other than that I have seen a few over the years in various places in cities. I really don't go around looking and trying to spot someone out dressed.
Kind of rare around here. I wonder if it is mostly because living in the tropics? It's summer 300 days of the year and going out in tiny sundresses, shorts, and skimpy tops can be a bit more difficult than wearing what you see in colder climates during the fall and winter??
I have crossdressed thousands of times out in public and am sure I passed without being noticed as a crossdresser 100% of the time. It is when I apply make up, wig, breast forms and replace some of my guy clothing that are covering up my underdressing that I am sure people could spot me as a crossdresser.
I wasn't trying to count people wearing the wrong underwear, I was looking for males attempting to pass as females, much as I would do when I go out in public. As a crossdresser actively looking for crossdressers, I think I could have identified any that I saw. I didn't even see anyone that I wasn't sure about.
No doubt there are parts of the country or the world where crossdressers are more common in public. I was just posting what I saw.
I hit the thrift stores with a passion. I have saw some in the ladies departments I knew were cders and some I can only assume they were. I would venture a guess, we pick a place we feel we can blend in and other open forums not so much.
Blending and passing is an art form in it self. I know a bunch of CD girlfriends that you would never be able to make. And then there are the rest of us! And yet we can still get positive responses from those with enough self confidence and lack of fear that the experience is usually great fun especially for classy old broads like me!
I have run into a couple of crossdressers at rock concerts. And I swear I have seen them at the mall or aleast tall girls with broad shoulders and no hips.
I totally agree with this. If you counted how many in this forum go out regularly in the mainstream, you might find 200? 500 maybe if you go back several years? 1,000 if we are to be generous with the numbers? This is a drop in the bucket compared to the total population, even if all of the active members here were to go out regularly in the mainstream.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
Even when my SO and I go to LGBT/alt clubs, s/he is the only CDer there, except for the drag queens.
To Stephanie Juliannna,
Couldn't agree more. I've been in lesbian bars where they thought I was a girl, Gay bars where they thought I was a lesbian, just regular bars where they thought I was a girl, and so on.
Whenever it's time for me to replenish my makeup, I ALWAYS get a makeover. What the heck, I'm going to buy the foundation and powder anyway, so why not get a free makeover?
The point is that CD's are getting better at it than just going out and buying "Covergirl" cosmetics.
By the way, nice photo you have.
Cheryl