Why we get so many E-mails from male admirerers

Fun with statistics:

According to the AdultFriendFinder adult personals website, there are 813 males in my 5-mile radius. 40 of them (4.9%) are listed as seeking CD/TG. However, a survey of my E-mail box shows that 57.5% of men who contacted me were not listed as seeking CD/TG. After correcting for this, there are approximately 94 males in my area who are really seeking CD/TG. 11.6% of males are interested in CD/TG.

Within the AdultFriendFinder environment, there are approximately 70 "males seeking CD/TG" for each "CD/TG seeking men." That incredible ratio explains why we have so many male admirers... supply and demand I suppose.

Personally I wouldn't place that much stock in this kind of data. There is no substitute for meeting someone personally in my book. :)

It's not exact data and online statistics never translate well into real life figures, but it does show a certain (online) trend. It really wouldn't surprise me if there are way more men looking for CD/TG in an 'adult' context than the other way around like Diana suggested

I do not seek, want, or need admirers. I have, to date, only received emails from my friends here and I like it that way ;)

I think that many men think just because we enjoy looking hot that we just might be easy..... Lol

I agree with Jaylyn. And, another reason, is the great erosion of natural love and affection between GGs and GMs. Many men are looking elsewhere now.

OK, I'm thinking, "ewwww!" Just ewww. Not my cup of tea.

The numbers based on my OKCupid profile to do not correspond with the OP's numbers. At the end of the first section of my profile, it clearly states I am transgendered. You have to scroll down to see it especially when using a phone to view my profile. During the past two months, I get 1 legitimate message for every 30-40 visits to my profile. Of those who leave a message of any type, over 90% have not read the part about me being transgendered based on only one of them not running away after being told they should carefully read that part of my profile. This is less than a 0.5% "hit" rate. It is not possible to know the actual reason 29-39 visitors do not leave a message upon visiting my profile. There are many other reasons than me being transgendered. Regardless the interest rate is very low and closer to the rate that feels right.

I seriously doubt men are switching to transgender women for sexual relationships because of an erosion of a more traditional form of love and affection from cis women. For most, sexual orientation is a binary and not very fluid (i.e., heterosexuals are the most common). Just because someone is not finding a suitable partner, I doubt they are going to change their sexual orientation or preference for a cis woman unless they already have bi- or homosexual tendencies or desires.

Melissa Rose, I have met a number of men, that are fed up with GGs, going bisexual, or after Tgurls. There is a trend.

After a while, you get over the thrill of being contacted by admirers, because that's all it is -- a little online attention. It means little and does not "feed" your soul. It is very easy to respond to an ad or to leave a comment that says "You're hot". But, it is much more difficult for people to step up to the plate and say, "I'm available for something meaningful," and actually prove it. The new generation of TGs want meaningful relationships, not simply a roll in the hay. So, frankly, I could not care less that men are turning to tgurls as a trend because they are fed up with GGs. The question is, "What can these men offer over and above a roll in the hay?"

If someone is looking someone who really loves being a girl, loves wearing pretty clothes, who enjoys being sexy, and really enjoys being feminine, who better than someone who really wants to do it even when it is NOT as accepted as it would be for an average girl. Many men think we are more sexual, more seductive, more submissive, and more willing.

Most GGs get dressed up, not because they like it, but because they want bigger tips, they want to impress a guy, or they want to have a special night. Most women don't like to get dressed up sexy and pretty on a regular basis. Some "Tranny Chasers", both men and women, are attracted to the possibility of having a partner who wants to dress like their fantasy girl - because they want to.

Of course, fantasy and reality are two different things. Those of us who are transsexual and go through Real Life Experience learn pretty quickly that dressing like a fantasy **** is generally not practical for every day. Going to a WalMart in a mid thigh miniskirt and 3 inch heels is going to get me a LOT of attention but not the kind I want. To be truly accepted as a woman, I have to be like an average woman, nicer than about half, but not nicer than the other half.

On the other hand, if I had been out when I was young, and met a man who loved Debbie and wanted to see her and wanted to go out with her and even wanted to help her with transition, I might have been very open to such a date or even such a partner. If I had known everything I know now, back when I was 20, or if I were suddenly instead of 50++ I'd be much more receptive to a partner who really loved Debbie - even though that partner was male. Fortunately, I have a wife who loves Debbie and loves her more every day as I love her more every day. So dating boys isn't an option. anyway.

Diana,
I have a program on my computer that tells me I am all female.
I do have to feed in the correct information.
It is called Excel.

I do not place a lot of credence in figures off the internet unless they have been extensively researched.

You can quote me as saying there are approximately two male cross dressers to every 400 males in Chicago, that is .5%.
That would be on a Tuesday on the corner of Ohio and Massachusetts.

Not really a valid survey.
Yep! it is fun number crunching but not always conclusive. :)

Just spitballing here, but I think you get those emails because you are on a site called "AdultFriendFinder". There's an easy fix for that.

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Originally Posted by Alice Torn

Melissa Rose, I have met a number of men, that are fed up with GGs, going bisexual, or after Tgurls. There is a trend.

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They are looking for "what they aren't getting at home" best describes that situation..
There is no "trend"!!! And for those who have "the fantasy"...When the clothes come off,things change! Way too many ******s online with a fantasy they focus on to get off. When you meet a genuine person out and about,that is what matters.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SometimesDiana

Fun with statistics:

According to the AdultFriendFinder adult personals website, there are 813 males in my 5-mile radius. 40 of them (4.9%) are listed as seeking CD/TG. However, a survey of my E-mail box shows that 57.5% of men who contacted me were not listed as seeking CD/TG. After correcting for this, there are approximately 94 males in my area who are really seeking CD/TG. 11.6% of males are interested in CD/TG.

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Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but I don't see the issue here. Having more options than you thought is a bad thing?

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Originally Posted by Jaylyn

I think that many men think just because we enjoy looking hot that we just might be easy..... Lol

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I think that pretty much sums it up...But I'd also be curious to see the stats of how many guys actually show up for a "date". Bunch of cowardly wanna-be horn-dogs:-)

Jaye

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

Just spitballing here, but I think you get those emails because you are on a site called "AdultFriendFinder".

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I agree. The name makes it sound like a website for booty calls, and probably attracts people who want just that. OK Cupid and certain other site sound more love relationship oriented. The website name alone probably does alot to filter out certain unsavory customers.

This has become a daily routine for me on Sherry's FB page:

I get a Friend request from a guy and ask him, "Why do u want to Friend me?"

Their usual reply, "Because you're hot!"

My remark, "Did u know I'm actually a 70 y/o, straight male?"

The guy, "That's cool. I'm bi."

Sigh! MEN just won't take "NO" for an answer!

I think the ratio is correct, I wonder what would be the ratio of CD looking for other CD, AdultFriend Finder is more a hook up and swinger place but you would be surprised that there is interesting people there ...you are going to find creeps everywhere even on the more mainstream sites, some of them like to hide there.

Maybe "trend" is the wrong word. The reality, is a lot of men looking for whoopie, or love, anywhere they can find it.

If I was single I'd be more interested in a natural women looking for a cross dressing heterosexual male.

I agree that AFF statistics do not translate into other "markets." I simply found it empowering to see so much interest in crossdressers. So many of us are terrified to go out and focused on those who might not approve. Just remember that there are also those who love and appreciate what we do.

Although AFF is not a relationship-oriented website, it is responsible for uniting me with my current girlfriend... 5.5 years ago! No complaints here :)

IMO these "Admirers" are not into the "Reality" of actually meeting a cd...but rather more into the "Fantasy" of meeting/hooking up with a CD. Ask them to hang out tomorrow and spring for a high class hotel ...I bet 99% run with their tails between their legs....Its actually my new tactic to get rid of the guys who bother me on facebook...cause they ALL amazingly dissapear with a Jimmy Hoffa type skill level.

People who look to have sexual experiences that are outside the vanilla congregate on these sites and so there is a higher percentage there of people who look for alternatives. But if you count ALL the people looking for partners on Adult-Friend-Finders and sites like Match.com, and at their local church groups, schools, bars, through friends, or however people find each other, you'll find that the 70 males in your area looking for CDs represent a small drop in the bucket.

Also Adriana brings up a good point. There's a difference between online fantasy and the actual life and sexual experiences these men have.

I also suspect that the men are also not exclusively just sending you emails i.e. lots of men have a large sex drive and want sex regardless.... CD, cis-girl, ******* etc...anything goes. Often just throw out many emails to anything attractive and see who replies. As ReineD indicates its also a self selecting sample which doesn't represent the total (rather boring) population.

BTW - Like the sexy cat look. MEOW!

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Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

This has become a daily routine for me on Sherry's FB page:

I get a Friend request from a guy and ask him, "Why do u want to Friend me?"

Their usual reply, "Because you're hot!"

My remark, "Did u know I'm actually a 70 y/o, straight male?"

The guy, "That's cool. I'm bi."

Sigh! MEN just won't take "NO" for an answer!

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This has to be both the funniest and probably most accurate answer of all... :lol:

I am just beginning to understand (yes, yes, yes - how naive can one be... :facepalm:) that cd.com does not represent the broader reality of crossdressing, t-girls, traps, etc. that pervade both the internet and the sub-culture of clubs, fetish and BDSM peripheries - and that is what you touch on with sites that are more representative of the real world...

We are much more highbrow and intellectual here... we like to throw in a decent proportion of gender issue discussions with the favourite panty colour threads, just to keep a reasonable balance... :devil:

;)

Katey x

Jennifer at Home.
I think you hit the "spitball" in the right place!

Why are people so fixated on percentages and numbers?
Some are fixated on why am I like this and what does it all mean?
If I do this I must be that so obviously I'm gay or Bi.
Holy crap just enjoy your yourself and don't sweat the small stuff.

Most men don't read your bio that tells them you are really a man because all they see is a "Hot Woman" in the profile picture.
I used to have a Facebook set up for Jen and only added friends who knew about this side of me but of course i joined some Cross Dressing groups on there and i used to get tons of messages a day from male admirers who were mostly foreign wanting me as their girlfriend.
They knew what i was though as i either always told them straight away or they twigged from me being in a group for Cross Dressers. It soon got annoying so i closed my profile lol

These days since starting again as Jen and after evaluating what went wrong the first time, i am not so open to people about dressing as a woman as i was a bit oblivious to how much it got some peoples backs up and that some people can be ok to your face but then talk about you after.
I only share my pics in private groups like this and a closed LGBT Aspergers group on facebook and its great to talk to some brilliant people who understand you and know where you are coming from.

And yes i wouldn't mind a nice bi-sexual man to meet for real rather than on a screen 😉

My female FB page has many from here and actual GG's that are accepting.
No indication of being a guy, its all girl and I don't post ton of my pics either.
I have a few male admirers but they seem nice and don't ask me out or get nasty with me.

@Jaylyn,
Maybe some of us ARE easy. LOL.

Diana,
I think its a fantasy, but also some men wonder what it would be like to be with another man and by them "choosing" a CDer, it may "justify" in their minds that they are not gay or bi.
Thats my 2 cents. Keep the change ma'am. jk.

Love,
Lexi V.

It may be "forbidden fantasy investigation". As there are closeted CDers, there are closeted CDer admirers. What people (myself included) search for online means nothing in real-life. Except for those who make it real. I never did.

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Originally Posted by Zylia

It really wouldn't surprise me if there are way more men looking for CD/TG in an 'adult' context than the other way around like Diana suggested

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No surprise at all. men's sex drive is waaaaaaaay stronger than womens', and yes, most of the time, it's only sex that they want, whether with women or other men.

I changed my dating profile to "looking for a man" to see what would happen, over 100 messages in 24 hours.