Hi all! I'm so excited and happy! I'm just returning home from my first night out en femme.
I had it all planned. I had the chance to spend the day alone, so I decided to start prepparing myself in the afternoon. I took a nice hot shower and shaved my legs and beard. I did myself a little pedicure (not ready for mani yet, but I didn't feel I really needed it anyway). I took a couple of new makeup goodies that I bought yesterday and did a couple of tries before getting a more kinda natural femme look.
I wore a beautiful skirt, tong, bra, purple blouse and my beloved wig. I waited around 30 minutes and I jumped into my car to look for adventure!! Well... in reality I was sooooo freaking nervous! But the first thing I did to kill the anxiety was passing by an ATM to get some cash out. That was my official first step in the outside dressed like a woman. Yay me! LOL.
The ATMs were all in the same cubicle, but I managed to enter when no one was inside. But then, right before leaving, two guys entered too and I faced them. They took a look down to the top at me and didn't say or do anything else. I looked at them directly, bravely I'd say...
I got in the car again and drove to the city, searching for a parking lot near "Bochinche", the most visited LGBT disco in San José. On the way, maybe I was too nervous, but I think I attracted some looks from the people on the street, but after a while I got used to it :) Luckily I found an open parking lot. Now thr big deal came... I had to get out of my car and ask for the parking ticked, then walk a couple blocks to the disco. I gathered all my strengths and did it as quickly as possible! I didn't have to stand in line to enter the place, and when I was walking on the sidewalk I noticed several people looking at me. That's totally a new sensation!
Right at the door, this TG lady came to me with a bucket, and told me:
- Hi gorgeous! What's your name?
- "Gabriela". Its the first time that I use it.
- that's a lovely name -she said, and I blushed :o - look, before you go inside and drink like hell, would you mind sharing something for helping the HIV infected?
- Of course! How wouldn't I?!
I put some money in the bucket, gave the lady a hug, crossed some more words with her and entered the place. I guess that was a really nice and warm moment, having the chance to talk to someone that seems to be active in helping people like that belongs to our groups defined by lifestyle choices. I feel like I'm getting deeper in understanding my feelings about CDing :)
I won't talk much about the disco, but I'll say it's a nice place to hang out with friends and party hard all night long. That wasn't my intention tonight, so I just sat at the bar and had a couple of cocktails and sodas. Didn't talk much to anyone. I preferred to look at the reactions people showed when they saw me. There weren't any other crossdressers or TGs but a couple of drag queens that server "chiliguaros" (killer shot mix of guaro -might also be vodka-, tomato juice and hot sauce), so that caused again, me being observed by all the people there. I told my self "what the heck!!" and stared back at 'em! After around two hours I felt that I made my point and proved myself that I was capable of presenting en femme in public, at least in a gay bar :) I lost the fear and anxiety of the first time out. I'm looking forward to go out with my GF and have her to talk and have fun with me.
Driving back home was easy and quick. Right now I'm enjoying my las moments of the evening wearing my girly outfit and writing this long and boring story LOL. I'll post some pics tomorrow of me wearing tonight's clothes and makeup.
I hope you enjoyed this and I encourage you to love and aceept yourselves as you are, dare to show your feminine side in public, not now, but when you feel you're ready.
Hugs!
Humana... or Gabriela... whatever!
