"A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"

How did you find your way to here?
What gave you the courage to sign up?
Or did you sign up with glad relief to find other like-minded souls?

I did not even know the term "cross-dressing". I did not even know the term "underdressing", it was just something I did. When the urge came to start wearing the clothes I looked on the net, finding news stories like "men who wear women's clothes", news stories about men in tights, took a few days, until I finally found the words "cross dressing". I searched and found the forum, and the rest is history, phew, relief. I did not really even know what I was looking for until I found it. What did we do before the internet?

Does anyone else share a story of accidentally stumbling on this place?


xxx Pamela

I stumbled across just as you did. Typed crossdressers in Google, looked at the site a few times and then signed on.

Pamela,
Signing up to online forum was out of desperation to try and get off the rollercoaster ride I was on !
A year or so ago I would never have dreamed of having a female name and the courage to post a picture of myself ! I may still suffer for that but I'm far better equipped now to deal with that situation if it arises !
As for the question of what we did before the internet ? Crossdress for fifty years ! It wasn't the internet that got me started it was sexual urges !

I wound up here after surfing for CD support sites. There were tons of naked people sites as well as fetish sites. Not at all what I was looking for. I had almost given up and then found this site. I lurked for a while (a few months) then stepped up and joined.

You don't know how fortunate you are to have discovered crossdressing after discovering the internet. Many of us who grew up as crossdressers without online resources thought we were lone deviants.
When I got a computer and internet, the first thing I searched for was crossdressing.

Hi Pamela,

Like a few others, I had reached a point of mass confusion, guessed what I might be then set the internet on Google Auto Cruise and found this place. Have been here since.

Hugs

Isha

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

You don't know how fortunate you are to have discovered crossdressing after discovering the internet. Many of us who grew up as crossdressers without online resources thought we were lone deviants.
When I got a computer and internet, the first thing I searched for was crossdressing.

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Nicole, I was the same way. The first AOL account that I had, I looked up crossdressing and discovered that I was not a lone pervert. I had felt alone for so many years. The only information about cross dressing was found at adult bookstores and most of it was about sexual situations such as forced feminization. After the internet the whole world opened up. For all the young members here, I am so glad that you can come here and learn about yourself among those that have gone before you.

Hugs
Ellen Jo

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Originally Posted by pamela7

How did you find your way to here?

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Don't remember. Probably clicked on a link while shopping for some type of girl stuff.

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What gave you the courage to sign up?

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Anonymity. And, I saw a lot of disinformation here. I wanted to contribute, and at least share what I learned about myself and how I wound up being a crossdresser; so many just wanted to leave it all up to 'I was born this way' when I know for a fact that does not hold true for all of us, and by ignoring other causes it can bring on all kinds of problems.

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Or did you sign up with glad relief to find other like-minded souls?

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I found the mass existance of other crossdressers way back in the early 90's when I found the usenet. Alt.transgendered was a wild place, an electronic bullitin board inhabited by all kinds of people from everywheree on the planet; male, female, mtf, ftm, gay, straight, bi, where anything goes, there was no moderator, no censorship of any kind. It was there that I learned a lot about other crossdresser's reasons for their behavior and much about their lives, and that the 'born that way' was often a cop out to avoid dealing with psychological trauma that we were exposed to in our past. It was also where I came across wives of other crossdressers who had come there to learn about their husband's and what might be causing him to want to dress or be female. The censorship and editing here sometimes bothers me, but then again I don't own the forum, so I don't make the rules. As long as I can contribute, I will stay here. If and when it gets to the point where I don't feel I can help anyone, I'll leave, and just hope that my bio will remain in the writers forum as an example of how easily childhood influences can really screw up a kid's gender identity, no 'born this way' genetics involved.

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What did we do before the internet?

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Libraries and book stores. I had learned about Christine Jorgensen back in the early 70's, and that inspired more research into the transgender studies. I spent lots of time in the New York public library, because local libraries didn't have much material on sexuality. Then one of the people working there suggested the big Barnes and Noble book store to find more up to date information. There's still a wealth of information in printed media, but without going to the libraries and book stores and browsing, you probably won't find it. Going to amazon and searching just shows titles and little of what's in the book.

My need to cross dress was beginning to boil inside me. I was being an a$$ to my wife and I wanted to find some forum where others might be like me. A simple google search required sifting through porn central. But I got here. It helped and a friend here helped me come out to my wife.

When there was no internet, I was alone in this.

Back in the early days of my computer life I found a pay site for Crossdressers and joined it. That lasted for a couple of years until I got tired of the TS crowd trying to convince everyone they where just one step off of being ready to transition, and anyone that didn't understand that was just stupid.
Well since I've been dressing all my life, and had no interest in transitioning, I got tired of people trying to convince me different. I gave up my membership with them, and after a long time searching, I found this site, it took a week of reading to decide this was the place for me. Best use of a search engine ever!

And that’s what I love about this forum and this site is you hear those similar thoughts and experiences as your own. I too went to the internet searching for an answer to these feeling and desires; I kinda knew or thought I had an idea of what cross dressing was, but with the internets obsession with sex, dating and the bizarre I was getting very frustrated. I was really getting ready to give up and just conclude that this was some dark sexual fetish when I found this place. To tell you the truth I’m not even sure how I found it, one day it was just there and the more I read the more I realized I was not alone. I signed up with glee and feel at home here. I very recently came out to my wife and we are trying to work things out, but this is where I sent her for more information.
Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it
Love and hugs
Victoria ;)

I don't remember how I came to this site. I have lurked as a visitor for a long time. I recently became active on this site because I have decided to make changes in my life. It began with coming out to my family doctor. She has been treating me for depression for several years. Independently, but also on her recommendation, I began to talk to a therapist as of yesterday. Hands down, best thing I have ever done. I have decided to face my fears, step out of the shadows, and take charge of my life. Becoming active on this forum is an extension of that.

This forum is prominent when using any search engine.
Because it is relatively flameless and devoid of harsh and ridiculous criticism I find it a winner and a safe place to be.
We may not always agree with the administration but it is best to bite your tongue and see why certain rules and arguments are applied.

I made many sacrifices. I wandered in the desert. I searched deep within myself. Finally it came to me, as in a dream.

Sorry, what was the question again?

I searched CD and hit a nasty nasty dating/porn site so I backed out.
Saw CD.com and thought oh no more of the same nasty stuff but was surprised to find a place that was free of the porn fetish aspect.
Took a few days of browsing and I joined.

Google. The way I find everything.

okay, so how did you first discover the term "cross-dresser"/"cross-dressing"?

honestly, i don't even remember how i found this site.
but i know i stumbled across it some how...
and for me it was a relief to find like-minded girls! :)

I was flying over one day. The plane suddenly had mechanical problems. After steering it away from the town I jumped out. A sudden gust of wind threw the parachute off course. I ended up landing right at the front door. I saw all these ladies coming and going so I decided to go in to use the phone. A long story short, I'm still here waiting on my ride. ;)

found crossdressers.com after becoming member of uk cd/tg community

Can't say I stumbled into this pit of vipers .. sorry, that's one of the other sites. No, I was just overjoyed when I did take a peek in to CD.com that I found such a balanced and usually objective site and bunch of people.
And before the internet, well anything to do with TG/CD in papers and magazines always caught my eye, but it gave you a pretty jaundiced view of it all. And yes, as Jen said I was alone in all this.

Christen x

Google, like many others. Back then, I was a lurker (is that even a word?). Came out to myself and then to my wife, set up Kandi's e-mail and "identity", signed up and jumped in with both feet!

: Hi Pam. I knew the turm Crossdresser and after coming out to my wife. I looked for whatever I could find on crossdressing and found this froum the was 8 years ago.And I'm still here.And would like to welcome you.:hugs:
Angie

Google and company had largely failed me at finding more than the seedy underbelly sites. This site was recommended in either "My Husband Wears My Clothes" or "My Husband Betty," I forget which of the two it was. I signed up here hoping to find people to relate to on a higher level than "what color are your panties" or my least favorite request to "role play housewives." (Never seemed to go well when I would tell them I didn't have to role play as I was in the middle of laundry and here's what I will be cooking for dinner.)

While I've had the odd run in or two this place has been phenomenal for me overall and the closest match of the available choices.

My wife and I discovered "Tina" one Saturday morning. Those who have seen me here over the years know that I had no indication that I had any kind of feminine self lurking in background, but after a series of incredible coincidences, my wife and I suddenly became aware that this was something we needed to investigate. We knew nothing about this incredible world of being transgendered, so we headed off to the internet and found this site. It seemed extensive so I signed up (the name Tina was agreed upon the next day). This site has been a wealth of information and has made a difference in Tina's life!

I too have bulletin board experience dating back to Usenet. The Alt. hierarchy was simply awful but there wasn't anywhere else...

Fast forward to a couple years ago. I was connecting the dots in my life and then the answer became visible. I was a crossdresser, or something like it anyhow. I went to a couple of search engines and began researching. As others have said, there are quite a few raunchy sites out there. I was getting confused. I don't have the same desires as so many others seem to have. I found a site for CD wives and became really confused. If I wasn't one of the crossdressers I'd read about, then what was I?

Eventually I found this site. It is devoid of the smarmy stuff, there are no flame wars, no trolls, no pop-ups, nothing prurient, just civil discussion among like minded persons.

That's EXACTLY what I was looking for. I lurked for a month or so and signed up.

A VERY BIG part of what makes this forum so good are the moderators. Let's give them a hand.
<pause for applause>
I have had run-ins with moderators a few times, but their often unrecognized work is what makes this place so special.

Best wishes
MsVal

I like to read Stana's femulate, and her site is linked to CD.com I followed the link and here I am and how happy I am to find it as well, it has been a godsend for me
Adelaide

i found this site researching crossdressing for haloween one year

I found this forum years ago. I would lurk on it once and a while. I started having questions about what I do and wanted to find out more on this forum than what I could being a lurker. So I signed up.

Pamela, I knew of the term cross dressing for many years before I found this forum. I had been a closet dresser through both my marriages even though both wives knew and disapproved. When wife #2 passed away I went searching for chat rooms or web sites that addressed my own desires. Crossdressers.com was one of the first sites to pop up on my google search. That was in 2007 and I've been a member ever since.

Like every one else I googled crossdressing a term I learned from two publications named the" TV-TS Tapestry for all those interested in Crossdressing and Transexualism" and Lady Like.I can't remember how I came across those mags but they led me to a support group but it was more for TS's and transitioning not what I was or looking for. It took a long time before I found this site and jumped right in after only a few incidents of "lurking". Learned a lifetime of info and support so now I accept my CDing as a part of me and even take pics and post them something I would never do before now I can't stop. Funny now I'm not alone in this crossdressing thing anymore.

It was by chance . It took a while untill i got the courage to sign up . I had no idea of what to expect. To my surprise i found people who had the same desires as i . It then became something real,I wasnt the only one who enjoyed crossdressing. I was no longer a pervert. There a millions of us out there but only a few will admit it. I enjoy crossdressing ,i am a crossdresser ,and here i can say it ...THANK YOU GIRLS

A string of unpaid parking tickets.... up before the beak and given 200 hours community service and bound over for two years...

"What... ? Like any community...?" I said foolishly....

The rest - as they say - is his story.... :facepalm:

Kidding Katey x

I'm pretty sure I have already talked about this exact question on here before, but maybe not with this much detail...

I discovered the term 'cross-dresser' long before the internet was as ubiquitous as it is today. It was in 1990 when I was playing Leisure Suit Larry III. The term was mentioned in a particular scene, and made me think that if there was a word to describe it, it might be more common than I initially thought. So I can thank Sierra for putting that phrase in my head.

Many years later upon getting (dial-up) internet access, some of my first ever searches online were for crossdressers. That's when my curiosity REALLY exploded. Even then, it took years of scouring the internet and personal websites for me to finally take the plunge and do it for myself. But it wasn't something I just spontaneously decided upon. It took a lot of surfing, browsing, viewing, and reading to convince myself that this was something I wanted to do. Fortunately, I found more than enough material online to help with my decision.

I hope this doesn't hijack this thread, but does anyone remember Pandora dePledge? or Austins Angels? I'm pretty sure that I've seen a few photos on here that looked very much like one of Jamie Austins makeovers. Possibly even photos I can remember looking at on that site... Anyways, I frequented those sites quite regularly. But, coming in at No.1 as my most frequently visited website during my 'years of discovery' phase, was none other than Vicki Rene's Prettiest of the Pretty! Even back then, it had hundreds, and hundreds of linked websites of people from all ranges of TG. For myself, that was a valuable resource when it came to realizing that crossdressing was WAY BIGGER than I had ever imagined.

Around that same time, I found URNA, and mustered up enough courage to make a profile and reach out to local people. Made some friends, hung out with some of them, got out with some of them. This was great fun for a couple of years. Then, what felt like all of a sudden, we just stopped getting out together... I bought a new house, moved out of my parents house, and it was around this time that communication with my three best CD friends seemingly vanished. The odd email would fly around occasionally, but nothing ever materialized. Maybe another year or so went by... Occasionally I would hit up URNA again and see I couldn't find some new local friends.... Nothing ever panned out.

Somewhere around that time, and I don't remember exactly how, but I ended up on this forum. Might have been a google search that landed me here I don't know. But after a few days of lurking around, I decided to join the forum. Made a few posts here and there, and then as quickly as I had found this forum, I forgot about it... Just stopped coming back... Meanwhile, I had started up a Flickr profile and began uploading my favorite pics. That kept me busy for a while, and I still update my profile from time to time. A few years rolled by, and again, just out of nowhere, I remembered that I created a profile on here and came back to see what was up, and what has been going on...

I'm very happy that I did. I really enjoy visiting this forum and reading about others on here. While I don't contribute nearly as much as some, I still visit the forum usually once a day, take a quick look at what's new, and when I find I subject that warrants my opinion or thought, I leave a message.

Like many others it all started with a Google search. I had no idea how many others there were out there until I started reading about other crossdressers on Flickr and URnot Alone. Reading these sites only fueled my curiosity and finally 1 day I happened across this site.

I lurked for a quite a while since I really didn't understand the community yet. After reading for a few months I joined.

After finally realizing what I had been doing for years was, I spent 2 years wandering in the wilderness of porno and hookup sites before finding this one. It has been incredibly helpful, despite some small wounds and one large one inflicted by someone who later became a mod, it has been a positive experience overall

Found this forum while questing for reasons why other CDs CDed; unlike many here I was inexplicably free of the pornography and sexual content associated with cross-dressing. Also, I wanted first hand information from fellow CDs rather than abstract theories and broad blind brushes.

To test the waters of how I reckoned cross-dressing was perceived, I actually put up a post on my high school confessions page over a year before I came to this site. Reactions were largely supportive vis-Ã*-vis my parents and the school discipline committee who considered it 'perverted' for one to CD for the sheer sake of it. So ashamed was my mother that she reprimanded me in Mandarin exclusively so the neighbours wouldn't understand.

Eventually I signed up here to join a network of advice and ruminations; sadly anonymity can only go this far before vulnerability rightfully breaks through. This site was one of the first I stumbled upon in the midst of my daze of catharsis and an irrational fear of being outed and disgraced. Of course, trying to come to terms with my CDing took priority as it never went away despite many hiatuses.

Before the internet I didn't know anything about CDing except that I was doing it! I felt alone, isolated, thought there was something horribly wrong with me. Then, thanks the arrival of the net, my whole world changed. Found out there was nothing wrong with me at all and could leave an ugly period behind.

I only found this forum a short while back but guess that has to do with me being a non-english speaking nationality. But aside from the occasional language barier I find this an awesome place to talk about our passion

Hello Jason! Nice to see you again from back in the old dial up days.
Glad you are well!