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Hi. I'm new to this site and was wondering what your GGs think about your CDing.
My fiance is a CD. Before you ask yes I knew before he proposed to me.
I have absolutely no problem with it. I feel whatever makes him happy and comfortable is fine with me.
And..
When he is Stephanie I have a great time with her.
So, please tell me what are your GGs thinking/saying?
My wife knows about my cross dressing for entertainment purposes. The only thing she knew before we got engaged was that I loved to wear high heels at home. She did my make once, but I didn’t get fully dressed up that time. She has seen fully dressed up only once. We were going to go out that night with me dressed up; I did my own makeup and everything that time. She got a kick out of it but was not ready to go out in public like that.
I’ve showed her pictures I’ve taken fully en femme. She doesn’t mind at all, but said she just has to get used to it more. I’m looking forward to when she comes to band practice when I’m fully dressed up.
:)
She is very a lucky girl to have you. Wish more GG's were understanding like you. I had a girlfriend that was like that and I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world. Loved to go shopping with her, she taught me so many things about my makeup, even mannerisms that I should do to make me look and feel more like the woman that I am. Loved doing that for her and me too.
Hugs,
Bree :)
My wife accepts it but let me know she finds it difficult to look at her husband and seeing a man in a dress. So far it is ok for me to dress while she's around but for the most part she wants me to keep out of her presence for example be in a dfferent room. It is ok to have some brief interaction while dressed such as make a cup of tea for each other etc. I would love if we could both just be comfortable and have some fun together with it. I can only hope. In any case, I feel I'm very lucky to be where I am today. I hated when I was doing it furtively behind her back.
Hi there Que-cera-cera girl,
I'm a GG so I will answer this one for myself. My husband (Pamela on this forum) has been underdressing for more than 12 years, and CDing fully for about 2 months. We have always had great fun with the ladies' underwear, which was reserved for bedroom play for the first 8 or 9 years. Gradually the undies started being worn all day, and it went from being something that was once every few months to a few days a week.
About 2 months ago a massive shift happened and he discovered that he absolutely loved the whole thing of wearing ladies' clothes. Since then, he has barely worn any men's clothes, and has been more relaxed and happy in himself than I have seen him for a long time, if ever.
What am I thinking? My thinking changes on a daily basis, because my husband's experience of CDing is continuously evolving. He has gone from just wearing clothes, through buying a wig, learning about makeup, and going out in public both fully dressed and as a man in more androgynous ladies' clothes. Nail varnish is a regular thing now, and the men's clothes have pretty much vanished into the back of the closet.
On the whole, I love it - I have a husband who is finding that he is comfortable in his body and in himself for maybe the first time ever. He is still completely the man I fell in love with, and yet he is becoming more than that as he discovers a gentler side to himself, one where he finds that his connection with other people, particularly ladies, is transformed.
On the down side for me, he is continually pushing my boundaries as to what I feel comfortable with. I am totally happy with him dressing around the house, to the extent that I don't even notice that the clothes are female rather than male now, unless he walks in with a particularly odd combination of colours or styles. What has been causing me problems is the issue of him going out of the house in ladies' clothes and nail varnish. I fully accept that this is my problem, and gradually I am realising that I am not responsible for his choice of clothing or appearance, and that largely nobody even notices anyway. This is work in progress for me, and each day I am feeling a little more comfortable with the idea of our neighbours seeing him in female attire, for example.
Really, though, life is too short to spend it not doing what makes you happy just in case someone might disapprove or think you are odd. I am really pleased that you are so comfortable with your fiancé and his CDing, and I hope he knows just how fortunate he is in finding you!
I asked my wife and this is what she says. First off it make my husband happy. Secondly when hes dressed up we have girls nights; watch movies, drink wine, facials and other things and have fun doing it. I get my husband/best girl friend all in one and think its fabulous!! I'm glad that he feels comfortable sharing this with me. I would never want him to hide this part of his life from me. I wish I knew more gg's I could trust to share this with. Maybe someday...
My wife accepts and supports my dressing and has for a very long time. We have a lot of fun with it, including dress up nights and couple mani/pedis. (She gets color, I do not) I do her nails, her make-up and I shop for her clothes with her. We have a blast doing this. I am not out to the world and my dressing is between she and I. I love it that way and have no desire to take it further.
I also like my role as a man in our relationship and give lots of my time to that. She likes that, too. Thus, we just "fit." I do not really know what would happen between us if I wanted to go public or spent less time in man mode. She has encouraged me to go out, but I really am not interested.
In short, our relationship works marvelously for us. Your mileage may vary.
My wife has known I like to dress since before we got married and that was 34 years ago. She had a few questions about it at first, but she started buying clothes for me. Now we like shopping at stores together. I help her find clothes and she finds me clothes. I think it startles a lot of women that I am digging through clearance racks with my wife. I believe she likes it when I dress as it mellows me out when I have a stressful day. I think she realizes it is a part of me. She is the only person that knows I dress and at this time I want to keep it that way.
My wife simply accepts that it is part of me and only a small part. We go out together on occasion and we openly talk about it. I frequently ask for her input on my style choices and she happily helps me. At the end of the day, she would rather I was not a cross dresser but I am so there it is.
My wife knows. She chooses not to see this or participate. we do discuss it from time to time. Sometimes she will make little jokes or comments. Overall, it's hard for her. What keeps us going, or perhaps I should say what keeps her going through with our marriage is that I respect her wishes and I don't push her on this.
Well, my fiance and I have been together for 15 going on16 years now. Before we even met (back in 2000) he told me of his fascination with pantyhose. I told him that's fine, I like them too. We met and decided we wanted to dress for Halloween. So....I had always wanted to dress like a hooker for Halloween but instead we thought it would be funny if I dressed as a 1970s pimp and he dressed as my hooker. So we did.
Now let me enlighten for a moment if I may. My fiance is 6' 1" and I am 4'11 1/2". So now you see why we thought it might be funny.
After we got dressed, we went to his parents house to show them. His dad was on the floor laughing his but off, literally. We left there and went to dinner. Then it was around 10-11pm n we decided to go to Kmart to pick up some snacks. At checkout the cashier asked " umm...let me guess, you're the pimp (pointing at me), and you're ?'.
I said " I'm a 70s pimp and hes my hooker.". She shook her head n said OK.
From then on, my fiance would dress up once in awhile.
He now where panties all the time and uses pantyhose not only cuz he likes them but also çuz they helps medically as well.
I too help my fiance when it comes to make up, clothes and shoes matching. He is very good at applying makeup better than me. Of course I was never really into make up hair and clothes when I was younger. So we are both really learning together and its great.
Natalie Cupcake,
Please let your wife know if she would like someone to chat with about this, she can talk to me on here. I'd be happy to help in anyway.
Bree,
If I may ask, whatever happened to your understanding gf?
OK so it seems to me that a lot of your GGs are accepting/understanding but are still having some issues with your CDing. If any of your GGs want to get on here and chat with me about it, I would be happy to.
Or anyone for that matter.
Very nice thread, my partner does not care how I'm dressed it's all the same for her. We talked and still are talking a lot about it and she even makes suggestions to my look. Yesterday she wanted to try new brow pencil and did my brow and it looked so nice I asked her to teach me! Couple of things we decided was that I won't go out until we both decide and once we do it will probably be together, and that I start doing my own makeup.I agree with her, don't think all women do is each other makeup all day long. I like to be a woman not a small girl who knows not how to do things, and she likes that I'm not someone who she needs to baby sit.
Hi QCCGirl,
My wife is 100 percent supportive and has no issues with me presenting around the house or in public when I see fit (I am gender fluid with a 40% female/ 60% male split). We share clothing and shoes and agree to disagree on some fashions. I am still her husband and she knows that as I am still a loving, caring, supportive partner irrespective of how I am dressed. I have come out to those around us including our mutual friends and my work. The one thing she has asked and I agree is that her work never find out about this as it is a very conservative Law Firm and she is afraid of backlash. This is not an issue as her work colleagues are not mutual friends and our employment is dissimilar. She will also not go out with me dressed not because she is embarrassed but because she does not want to see hate/laughs/giggles and whatnot when I am out. I have decided to ask for accommodation at work to dress once a week in keeping with my gender split and she supports that 100 percent.
Hugs
Isha
QCCGirl, my fiancee and I have been together for almost eight years, and she has know for about a year into our relationship. She is accepting and even encouraging. I try not to dress too much so that she will feel she has the man she fell in love with, to the point that she will suggests that I dress.
Thanks for posting the thread , it's so good to see some are comfortable with CDing !
I'm not in such a good situation at the moment but I'm hoping things will come right if I keep working at it !
My GG was, like many, afraid it meant a number of things. Was I gay? Would this be something that I wanted to become?
Gradually she's realized that I'm still straight as an arrow and wouldn't leave the house en femme for anything.
Knowing that has allowed her to be a bit selfless and participate to make me happy. But she doesn't get her own thrill from it.
I think for most GG's when they sat down and ordered t-bone off the menu and end up with a filet mignon it's a bit hard to swallow.
GG here
We met as Sher and Di, dated mostly as Sher and Di....now married we kinda have a dual life thing going on ( wants to keep work ect seperate.)
No drama, no boundries just us being us.
Everyone has to find what works for them as a couple.
Life is constantly throwing you curves.
After years of getting small thrills from dressing time to time, I discussed with my wife about getting more serious with my crossdressing. She was very supportive, understanding, and helpful. She took me on my first outing dressed, a Drag Show and gave me a wig & makeup for my birthday. Then our world changed, she had a heart attack and stroke 2 1/2 years ago. At first I did everything for her, and still do most of the things around the house. She has slowly improved, no paralysis but is easily confused and has difficulty saying what she is thinking. I feel personally responsible for her mixing up he and she in her speech.
While still accepting of my dressing , she has become concerned with family and neighbors finding out. Although we have a few close friends that know and are accepting. Whatever life has in store for us next, we will do it together and I will always think of her needs first.
Many years ago my wife gave me "the ultimatum". It has definitely affected our marriage and level of intimacy as I will always harbor a slight amount of resentment toward her and at times feel that part of me is missing on an emotional level. She did know prior to our wedding who and what I am. But I know as a male I can take things too far if allowed. So I think the best path would have been to be open and vocal about limits and not waiting until after those limits are breached, not total denial which many of us face. QCCgirl, Stephanie is very fortunate to have a girl thoughtful enough to post this thread.
QCCgirl, my wife is very much on the same page. Her view is that life is short, so you better be who you want to be. And since she believes that and is somewhat of an optimist and realist, she chooses to enjoy this side of me rather than reject it.
I think it's awesome that you and your fiancee are having fun with his CDing. My wife is totally ok with my CDing too. In fact, we met online on a CDing forum (not this one) so she know way before we got involved with each other. We've been married for 12 years and the CDing is as much a part of our marriage as it ever was. Marla is very much a trans-ally for our community and is also the President of the local TG support group that we started 7 years ago. See my signature and profile pic.
Hello. Welcome to these forums. Your wondering what my wife thinks? Well as you can see, Im a CD. Like you, my wife knew before we even took our relationship further. She actually asked one night while we were having a discussion on what turns me on. I told her. She said bring your girl gear one day. I did and ever since, i wear everything or just hang around the house dressesd in tights, or pantyhose with a long shirt so my junk isnt all exposed. We have to daughters who know. Short story, mom outed me by accident. Smart TVs, mobil devices, and sharing pics of us as a family and running across pics of me dolled up with mom is how they found out. Oldest said I was real pretty. So with that, I do wear partial girl gear around the house. My wife is all game for me just walking around everywhere half dressed up or all dressed up. She doesnt give a hoot who knows. So thats support in the fullest. Shes got my back. When she comes home and Im all dressed up, she doesnt think anything of it. Just says im pretty and life goes on. We hang out, unwind, you know. Typical family with this perk. Lol. Just like you say, whatever makes me happy and comfy, is wonderful with her. She has NEVER put me down about any of my dressing. She is a member of our forum here but has no need to login due to our relationships strength and communication.
So to answer your question what my GG is saying or thinking, Thinks nothing of my dressing, and says i look so pretty.
Look forward to chatting it up with you and your hubby. Keep in touch, yes?
My wife is tolerant of the clothes around the house, but prefers me in public as the man she married and is not really into seeing me with makeup/wig/whole 9 yards, which I respect. I use days off from work if I want to fully dress and that works for me since she doesn't want to participate. (She doesn't participate when I work on the car either, so I just chalk it up to something that will remain one of those solo ventures :) )
My beloved wife accepted when I told her in December and to date, has been fully supportive. She has given me shoes and various items of clothing (I get first pick before things go to the consignment store), critiqued many outfits for me as I have tried them on for her, has had no problem with the money I have spent so far on hair removal, clothing, makeup, a wig and a few road trips. We openly discuss it as any other part of our lives. She has given me various coupons for dresses and lingerie.
It has been so much better than I could ever have imagined. I also explained to her two phenomena that were happening for me. The first is the champagne theory, once the cork was popped, everything came flowing out. It certainly has. The other is the fact that my duties and responsibilities as her husband will change with the weather, more yardwork, projects, summer activities, etc. Less time for dressing and I do believe things will slow down until fall rolls around again.
Part of her acceptance is the trade off she received, which I have spoken about in various threads. I became a much, much better husband and man. No question about it. Loving, attentive, caring, open, honest and extraordinarily happy. So I think we both benefited.
All that said, I know life is full of curves, things evolve, so I remain thrilled that I finally told my wife and embraced who I have always been, a husband, father, provider, man who has a some girl in him too! I guess that helps when you have a wife and two daughters!
My marriage essentially ended the day I came out to my wife as trans. (I'll hit the two year anniversary of that awful day on April 7.) She asked me if I was going to transition - and I didn't have a ready answer for that, other than, "I hope not, I'd rather not, but I have to do whatever it takes to feel better."
She took that as a yes, and four months later asked me to leave our home. I offered all sorts of compromises - other than I couldn't compromise over where ever the stuff about my gender was going. I literally couldn't compromise on that, I was ready to die. (Indeed, I attempted suicide at one point - I was that miserable.) Anyway, I offered to live in a different part of our home, I told her that if I did transition, I'd understand that she might need someone else, and I was OK with that. I dunno, I offered all kinds of things shy of divorce. I did love her and didn't want to lose her.
Unfortunately, in her grief and rage over my revelation, she ended up outing me all over our tiny, conservative, rural town, and I began to get messages of "it isn't safe for you here" from locals who were none too happy to have someone like me in their midst. So that pretty much insured I couldn't stay. We made plans to separate - I'd hoped to stay until the end of the year, to better prepare things for the both of us. Two weeks before I actually left, in July, she told me that she couldn't take it anymore, and asked me to leave immediately. So in August I did just that, and moved back to Dallas, where I live now.
The thing about all this is that I didn't start my transition until after I left. By the time I left, I knew I had no choice, I wasn't long for the world pretending to be a man anymore, I couldn't take it - death would've been a relief. So she saw me dressed maybe 2-3 times. I didn't spring that on her - I told her that I had cross dressed before, and also recently, but I didn't show her anything until she asked to see it. When she did ask to see me, it just made things worse. At the end, I just presented as a male in front of her. I was miserable, but I did it because it bothered her so much to see me as a woman.
I know it bothered her that I had troubles having sex with her. I hadn't taken a single hormone at that point, but I hated the feelings I got from sex, and really, I just couldn't do much without taking Viagra. I think this really bothered her. I remember the last time we made love, the evening of the fourth of July, this really bothered her, and she begged me "please don't let this be the last time we make love." A few days later, she asked me to leave, and so it turned out despite her wishes otherwise, that was the last time for us.
BTW, if I hadn't transitioned, I am pretty sure she'd have asked me to leave anyway. She hated the idea that there was anything feminine about me. It completely destroyed her image of me, which I guess is fair enough, since the image I presented was almost entirely fake. She wanted "John Wayne", she got me instead. What an awful deal for her.
So I sit here, writing this, waiting to go to Fry's to get another board to repair the computer that's going into what used to be my observatory, but is now her observatory, and once I have all of that working again, will be someone else's observatory. (I'll sell the thing, and give her the proceeds from it, as per our agreement.) I know she's bitter and disappointed, and feels she wasted her life. I think I treated her well, and we were together, and I think happy, for 20 years, during 18 of which we were married. She often told me she felt spoiled. Maybe she was never happy though, and all that stuff I bought for her (and there was an awful lot of it) just served to make her feel like she was. I think there was always a distance between us that she never understood, at least not until the end. So perhaps we weren't ever happy at all, really, but just both faked it really well.
I don't know anymore. I know NO ONE expected us to divorce before I came out. We were that couple everyone thought was just so sweet, and so happy together.
All I really know is that to this day, she can't bear to look at me, which I guess is fair enough, since from her perspective I'm the woman who murdered her husband. Still hurts though. I'd be friends - I miss that. But I don't think that is probably in the cards.
It's awesome that you're having a good time with it! :)
I knew from the beginning (about 8 years ago) and was immediately supportive. In fact, I encouraged my SO to start going out to places other than her TG support group. We did have a rough patch for some years though, from about 6 months into our relationship onward. My SO was developing wings and flying and it seemed by far the preferred activity, and so I wasn't sure where it was all going. At one point I felt as if my SO would be a lot happier being free, without me.
But it all fell into place as my SO got used to doing everything in girl mode that he did in guy mode (except work) and for the last few years, things have stabilized tremendously. The CDing is just as much a normal event in our lives as going out to have pizza with friends. Well, it always was, but my SO prioritizes other things now too. :)
That is great Kandi! I too help my CD fiance with a lot of his feminine items.
My S/O is a strong supporter of my c/d-ing. Every morning, when we are together at her home... she expects me to emerge in femme attire....(and we read the newspaper, and share coffee together.... One morning, when I didn't (emerge en femme) she asked "Is something wrong???".... She's a dream-come- true.... She supports me... and I am outlandishly content to be her man... any-time, every-time....
Mimi is very supportive of me as I explore the various paths available to me. She recognizes that I'm not doing this by choice and that I'm a better and happier person when I can express myself as I wish.
Our social life is much richer than it was before we had "the talk." When I'm all dressed up we need somewhere to go and friends to share the experiences with.
I'm not saying that all has been perfect all along, but we love and enjoy each other no matter how we are dressed.
My wife knows and is accepting but cautiously enthusiastic.
When I can wear the wig out all the time things will then be different.
My wife "discovered" Cheryl some years ago and it seems it wasn't the right time for her to come out.
About 10 years ago I could take the closet no more and decided to have THE TALK. After much crying and talking she decided to give it a try. She found it wasn't what she thought it was at first and is fully supportive. She goes everywhere with me and shares every moment. It's done nothing but make us closer.
My GF is fine with it Hon. She knows when all is said and done, she has her man and if I'm happy she is happy. :battingeyelashes::)
My wife enjoys her time with Tina and has directly said that she thinks "Tina is sweet". We found Tina together, and that sharing has spawned hours and hours of conversation that have brought us much closer. Sharing something as intimate as one's feminine self does make a positive impression on a committed spouse who isn't spooked by some bigotry spawned in her upbringing.
I sincerely hope that his sharing his feminine self with you is as positive in the long run as it has been for us.
My wife gets hot and cold with it. Every Halloween we do some sort of gender swap (i.e. Me Cher, her Sonny). She likes to help pick the outfit, help with makeup. But the rest of the year she has no interest in Jennifer.
But get a couple drinks in her and she might get frisky and want to see me in her underwear. Then for several months my dressing won't come up.
Then last Saturday out of the blue she gets really into again. It was finally warm her in Chicago and we went out to a nice late dinner. It was so nice we walked about a mile to the downtown area of our town. We proceed to split a bottle of wine and head home about 11PM.
We get about a block from the restaurant and head into a nearby park, and start to ride on the swings. Suddenly she looks at me and says "do you like my skirt". I say "yeah". She says "do you wish you were wearing it?" I say "possibly". Next thing you know we're hiding behind a bush exchanging bottoms.
We're laughing holding hands and walking home. It was really exciting to me and I thought both of us. But nobody's talked about it since.
I guess I need to respect her boundaries and realize it will come up when it comes up. I just wish it was once a week instead of once every few months.
My wife is fully supportive and enjoys her time with Zoe, in fact we were just in the bathroom doing our makeup together. I feel very lucky to have her and it makes me happy to see that others have accepting SO's. Her acceptance has gone a long way to helping me get past the guilt complex and accepting both sides of me.
We are like several lucky couples here. I told my wife on our second date, she embraced it and me, and has been supportive no matter what has happened for over 20 years. Everyone has their own pace and experiences. I think you just go with the the flow and learn and keep the communication open, especially keep talking. Nice to have you here.
My spouse is accepting, but still seems fearful and clearly feels a need to set limits. We talk about this from time to time, mostly at my initiative. I point out things I notice in the media about trans issues, and she is non-judgmental when it comes to others doing this. She has occasionally given me things -- her cast-off nail polish, a couple of necklaces, a small jewelry box. She lets me take things she's no longer wearing to a clothing swap where I mingle en femme with GGs and pick up new items for my wardrobe. She seems to like to be asked about clothing choices when I'm getting ready to go out, and gives me advice. She'll say, "You look nice" as I'm going out the door. But she doesn't want to go out with me dressed, and isn't wild about my wearing girly things when we're together at home. I try to respect those limits and not push too far, too fast.
Stacey how long ago did she find out?
If it was recent, I can tell you it will take some time for her to become comfortable with your femme side. Some SO,s are comfortable quickly, some take time, and others, unfortunately never become comfortable with it.
I hope yours is quicker.
It was about three years ago, after decades of marriage and only a few scattered (and unintentional) hints about it from me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Que-cera-cera girl
My wife is more of a DADT person. She caught me about 15 years ago. She is in charge. Does not want to see it. Does not want neighbors or relatives to know. Then again, she is a very private person, not very social. We don't talk much. I am similar--not social at all. Wife is now OK with my approx 30 outfits, many wigs, makeup and shoes in my outdoor storage shed.
My SO has been phenomenal about all of this but it wasn't like I just dropped it on her, she knew. I wore hosiery a lot and fully dressed a couple of times for Halloween. She just waited for me to come clean about it. She is very accepting, supportive and encouraging. I knew she wouldn't have a problem with it but due to the fears that also come with this, I waited a long time to tell her. She doesn't treat me any differently and I don't act very differently around her. All in all I surely am one of the lucky ones ;)