I preferred CDing over a one night stand

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. Well I´m not even sure whether to call it funny or not...it could just as well be a stupid thing.

I had gone out to a bar and was having a beer when this woman approached me. I was somewhat surprised as in my experiences it´s the male who has to approach the female 99 out of a 100 times. Anyway, we started talking and it was pretty obvious she was more than interested. She didn´t look like a filmstar or anything, but still good enough to make any man want to spend at least the night with her. But the thing was, and to me it was a real big thing, she wore this gorgeous silk frilly soft white blouse. The kind of blouse that no true CDer can keep his eyes off. Well nor could I as I was staring at it the whole time. It got so bad that at one point I didn´t even hear a word she was saying. All I could think of was that blouse.

To make a long story short...in the end I said `Goodbye nice meeting you`, walked away, went home and dressed up for the rest of the evening wearing the best blouse that I own. Now, a day later, my male half is screaming at me and kicking myself for letting such an ´opportunity´ slip. Am I going crazy? I´m 100% heterosexual but is this CD thing getting too strong?

Would love to hear if any of you ever had a same sort of experience. Any comments?

A sensible decision.

One night stands are a good way to acquire sexually transmitted infections and legal issues if she can prove paternity.

I take it you were in guy mode. That is a bit rare, a GG coming on, but happens. I had a similar thing happen years ago, and i would not go all the way with her, and went home. Maybe you did the wiser thing, and did not do something you might regret later. Some of us do get a thrill out of items of clothing, that is for sure!

I do the same as you, you may get more than you bargained for.

Did you catch her name or only her bust size? :)

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Originally Posted by JeanetteX

The kind of blouse that no true CDer can keep his eyes off. Well nor could I as I was staring at it the whole time. It got so bad that at one point I didn´t even hear a word she was saying. All I could think of was that blouse.

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Why is no one commenting on this part?

This was not a conscious decision to not sleep with a woman in order to avoid STD. This was about having an object (the blouse) or an event (wearing the blouse) become so important as to supersede everything else!

To Jeanette, you mention not understanding your actions because you are hetero. Heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual all describe attractions to other people. There are non-other-people types of attractions too (autosexual, object-sexual) and there are also people who do not experience any sexual attraction (asexual). Some people can overlap between people-attracted and non-people attracted. Whether this stays stable, or whether over time a preferred form of sexuality emerges to the exclusion of everything else depends on the person.

If yesterday's experience bothers you, you might want to start noticing which way your reactions are heading so you can make some conscious changes. But, if you're OK with preferring to dress over having relationships (emotional, sexual, or both) with others, that's OK too. We don't all fit into the same box. No one is here to judge you, but it sounds as if you are wanting to figure things out.

Yeah yeah yeah...which bar was that?

Well it seems crossdressing is your sexual preference, nothing wrong with that. Or your female side smelled trouble, chicks can sense when other chicks are up to no good:) If you put your Peter in every hole that's offered, well then we haven't strayed to far away from our base animal instincts have we?

Thank you very much Reine for your answer which is really helpful (in contrast to another, right Angela?). Its true that I haven't been in a long term sexual relationship for a long time and maybe my CDing has to do with that. I'm at a point in my life where I think a lot of who I really am. I've been a crossdresser for most of my life but only a few years ago started to fully dress. Maybe, unconsciously, my female side is becoming more important than I've realised til now. Thanks again Reine.

Love Jeanette

I am struggling with a similar problem I have a girlfriend I have had for about a year, but my sister keeps coming out and making me choose between her or my girlfriend. She knows about Susanne and wants her to be strong so it makes it even harder! What do I do go with a person who loves me or a desire to be free!

I have one night stands while crossdressed does that count ?? I know my bad..I'm not offering any help here... ok i will try....I have ditched chicks to cd before......now i get hit on by chicks while dressed...its more fun that way..go out dressed...maybe you can still have that one night stand xoxo

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Originally Posted by JeanetteX

Now, a day later, my male half is screaming at me and kicking myself for letting such an ´opportunity´ slip. Am I going crazy? I´m 100% heterosexual but is this CD thing getting too strong?

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It all depends on what you feel the need to do. Remember, you can satisfy your sex drive on your own. The thing you can't, is the need for physical contact, affection (you can give yourself an orgasm; you can't give yourself a hug). As long as you don't need another person involved, and you feel the need to crossdress, then fulfil that need. Finding a woman for a one night stand isn't as hard as you think, or maybe I've learned so much about women that I can spot the ones who are interested in me way easier than I could when I was younger; it's no longer a mystery to me.

AFA disease, Giuseppina, well that's what condoms are for.

Hi Jeanette,

I don’t think I could get in a situation like that these days but when I was single I might have gone back to her place and asked to try the blouse on.

My comment wasn't intended to be helpful, Jeanette. I'm not really one to hold your hand and say "you poor thing" unless the situation merits it. Getting bent out of shape over a single occurrence is drama that needs a little levity.

If you really didn't know anything about this woman, CDing was probably the better way to go for any number of reasons.:)

Some guys go to bars to pick up "one night stands." Other guys go to bars to have a beer and maybe converse. Some women go for the same reason. If you're not the type to engage in casual sex, that's fine. Maybe, subconsciously focusing on her attire was a way for you to avoid making a commitment you really did not want to make.

You did a thing that made you happy. Having done that you kicked yourself for not choosing the other thing that would make you happy. Sounds human to me. Nothing to worry about.

I thought it was going to end 1 of 2 ways: 1, that she slapped you for 'looking at her breasts' even though you weren't; 2, that you went home with her and either stole the blouse or persuaded her to give it to you.

Great story anyway!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...but did you ask where she got the blouse? Sorry...couldn't help myself.

Yes Isabella, that's what I would be wanting to do. Not sure that I'd have the nerve - how to out yourself in one easy lesson!

you could have got her number and gave her a rainy check?

best choice of both worlds!


have your cake AND EAT IT TOO!

Hi Jeanette, Desecration is the better part of Valor,:daydreaming:
If I was into the bar scene I probably would've done the same thing. :hugs:

I am amazed no one thought of this... when you were alone back at your place that GG might have stuck a knife in your gut and robbed you. It is unusual behavior for a GG (they have the most to lose in a one night stand), and given you have no idea who this person is I would have been suspicious.

As for the blouse, I don't blame you. I always loved those fancy silk and satin blouses ladies used to wear in the 80s, never failed to get me going as a teenager. Especially with a high neck and a big bow... ah, memories.

I passed up a chance for the ONS on many occasions but not because I would rather crossdress but because I knew that the experience would not meet their expectations. They were probably expecting some manly man and that is just not me. Besides a ONS = vanilla sex and I wouldn't be interested unless it could lead to something more interesting and that requires a much more intimate relationship. Then there is the problem that I can't take a hint. My wife likes to embarrass me by telling the story that she had to practically strip naked and throw herself on me before I would get a clue that she was interested. I usually counter that I did get the hint but she scared the heck out of me. That's not true, I really can't take a hint. If a woman chats me up I just think she likes to talk.

Jeanette,
No wonder I get myself into so much trouble, I think I would have left with the girl on my arm, the blouse may have come into the conversation at some point !
I did have the opportunity once and took it, she was married but these things happen !!

I missed a lovely cream voile tiered blouse in a charity shop only yesterday and was kicking myself !

Where you really screwed up, was not asking her where she got the blouse, and if the store was open late! :eek:

Ha. Every now and then I think about the sure things I've passed up over the years. And I just figure I didn't want it bad enough. Besides, you don't get many hugs from one nighters. Maybe it sounds selfish, but these days I'd rather please myself, than someone else. I'm heterosexual, but sex is definitely over rated.

My work required travel and from time to time women would let me know they were available. My wife is a beautiful woman and I deeply love her and always passed on the offers. On one occasion I took a customer to dinner. As Jean described she had on a white blouse beautiful lingerie under it. It didn't hurt she was 15 years younger and absolutely beautiful. Neither of us had been to the Italian restaurant that someone had suggested. The restaurant was romantic and we enjoyed a couple bottles of wine while talking about a project and life. She had driven there, but handed me the keys to drive back to the hotel where we were staying. We both felt the electricity between us. At the back door of the hotel I handed her the keys. I started to lean forward to kiss her as she stood there waiting. But, I decided that a night of bliss could ruin our business relationship. The next day when I saw her she said, I enjoyed last night and thanks for taking care of me. At that point we both knew it would have ruined a great business relationship.

On the other hand I had a friend who was on a flight and met a woman. They hit it off so well that when they reached their destination they got a taxi and went to a hotel for the night. He never learned her hast name nor did she.

By the way, I was underdressed that night including a bra and while I loved her lingerie and sexuality which I would love to have had. it was sheer testosterone that was driving forward.