Trade show angst

Today I attended a trade show with some female colleagues. It went well enough in terms of content etc…but…there were so many absolutely gorgeous women there dressed in some very hot outfits i.e.: tight blouses, tight skirts, high heels, pretty hair and makeup…all I could think about all day was how amazing it must be to have a body like that and to be able to dress like that and be sooooo sexy…it was very distracting…I was obsessed with these thoughts…so depressing that I will never look like them…anybody else experience something like this? Thanks for listening.

Yessss! Being a lifetime lonely bachelor. They get to dress so freely, and wowly! Sometimes i feel like crying, that they get to wear what they want, and I wonder if they know it is a huge distraction to us, or not.

Oh, yes! I attend many trade shows for work, surrounded by so many smartly dressed ladies. It's often a challenge to keep my mind on my work while surreptitiously admiring their outfits and looking forward to getting dolled up later in my hotel room ;)

Yeah I feel that way sometimes, but just more about dressing in those cute fun clothes without worry.

I too, look at other attractive ladies and admire how they look, move and dress. I guess it does provide inspiration but mostly it is just wishful thinking. And oh, to have a budget that would allow me to purchase some of those outfits!

Yes I do, in fact there are times when I feel I need to avoid situations where there will be beautiful women dressed impeccably as it will raise my GD to a fever pitch, then get depressed.

In the words of Mick Jagger, "I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkness goes"
Tina

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Originally Posted by Alice Torn

... I wonder if they know it is a huge distraction to us, or not.

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I know it is when I get all dolled up so you can be sure the GGs know it too! :D

Just about every time I see a pretty girl in a cute outfit I'm screaming inside "why can't that be me!?"

When I'm deep in the fog it can be extremely distracting if I need to focus on what I'm supposed to be doing. Especially if the girl is extremely gorgeous or the skirt or shoes are excessively cute.

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Originally Posted by Jacqueline1965

tight blouses, tight skirts, high heels, pretty hair and makeup…all I could think about all day was how amazing it must be to have a body like that and to be able to dress like that and be sooooo sexy…it was very distracting…I was obsessed with these thoughts…so depressing that I will never look like them…

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I've just asked this same question in another thread so if you don't mind I'll ask you too. Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ... say someone who is at the mall or you pass by on the street, who has an average body and who wears jeans, slouchy top (to hide her tummy), no makeup, easy-care hairstyle, etc. Just curious.

Understand perfectly! That's why, years ago, I pretty much stopped going to trade shows!

Guess it's time to go back, en femme this time!

Hugs,
Persephone.

Reine,

I experience great angst and get preoccupied with envy even at soccer games. Cute soccer mom's can be a distraction for me. Grocery store, Walmart, gas pump, it doesn't matter. Any place where woman are authentically engaged in life and living it to the fullest is where I long to be. To have an over the top hot body, dressed in sexy clothes and get paid for it would be a definite plus.

Jeri

one of the best benefits of being gay! I have never been shy to compliment a woman on her outfit or shoes, or some accessory. "I love your polka-dot sweater" or "where did you find your cute shoes?" or that "skirt is gorgeous on you!" They write it off as me being gay, I store it away for future study...But I am alway genuine in my compliment...I wouldn't give it otherwise...It's the same with my co-workers. Again, never anything inappropriate, just light compliments. They are great mid conversation topic changers too.
Chrissy

To answer Reines question, I do all the time want to dress as an everyday woman

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Originally Posted by ReineD

I've just asked this same question in another thread so if you don't mind I'll ask you too. Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ... say someone who is at the mall or you pass by on the street, who has an average body and who wears jeans, slouchy top (to hide her tummy), no makeup, easy-care hairstyle, etc. Just curious.

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Reine, YES! If anything, more so than someone dressed to the nines and made up for show. Maybe because it's my style to be that "average, run-of-the-mill woman" -- because jeans and slouchy tops are me.

Yeah but I didn't believe it couldn't be done, so I just went ahead and did it. You may surprise yourself. :battingeyelashes::)

I guess we all feel about the same, I don't care which way they dress I am just plain jealous of all of them.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

I've just asked this same question in another thread so if you don't mind I'll ask you too. Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ... say someone who is at the mall or you pass by on the street, who has an average body and who wears jeans, slouchy top (to hide her tummy), no makeup, easy-care hairstyle, etc. Just curious.

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For me its yes, as long as its at least somewhat feminine style of clothes. Not being able to dress female all the time, I tend to like the more typically feminine clothes, skirts, heels etc. so its a stronger feeling when I see a woman dressed as I like to dress.

I know that most women don't have the time, need, desire or whatever to dress as I like to and I'm sure I'd go for comfort over style at least sometimes if I dressed full time.

Keep in mind that 90% of the genetic women out there will never look like the trade show models. And these models will only be able to do this for ten to fifteen years before they are replaced by younger models. It may be fun to fantasize that you might look like that, the chances are that if you had been born female you still wouldn't have made the cut.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ...

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Oh, Reine. Right on. I'm always in awe of how REAL woman just have that body language and natural curvature that just emulates female no matter what they're wearing. Even the slightest gestures I couldn't duplicate without the clunky caveman stance that's impossible to hide. I've long ago turned the jealous envy into positive admiration.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ... say someone who is at the mall or you pass by on the street, who has an average body and who wears jeans, slouchy top (to hide her tummy), no makeup, easy-care hairstyle, etc. Just curious.

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As I read the original post it's talking about the pit of despair some of us fall into when we see people who meet the ideal we wish to achieve, when we know we will never achieve it. I know that pit well.

Yes, I fall into it for everyday women with their tiny wrists and ankles and shoes that don't have to be found on the internet. I fall into it when I see a clique of soccer moms walking through the mall with the relaxed camaraderie that develops between (some) women. I fall into it when I see other CDs who are short, thin and have perfect oval faces. The issue isn't them -- it's my deep personal sense of being driven by a desire that can never be achieved.

Dear Reine D,

Not really. The feelings are not there to the same degree. I think it has to do with so much in one place at one time that was overwhelming to me. i do love most women though and do get these feelings in various situations. Just depends. Thanks for asking.

Don't know about trade shows - don't go to many of those and, if I did, then it would most likely be populated by ageing farmers rather than smartly dressed ladies. Don't think I wish to emulate their sartorial inelegance!!!

But in a more general situation the answer is a conclusive yes. I, too, spend a lot of time watching the fairer sex...supermarkets, shopping centres, wherever - I love to watch and look at what they are wearing. I am reluctant to accost a complete stranger and compliment her on a nice outfit when I am in Stephen mode...maybe I should - I always have pics of Michelle on my smartphone so I can backtrack away from being thought of as some dodgy bloke trying to pick up a complete stranger for some nefarious business!! On the other hand I could just spend far more time out there as Michelle :) There is a regular work meeting I go to - only about 8 of us and one of the ladies there is always very well turned out, always in a dress... In conversation late last year she divulged that she almost always wears a dress, even at home - she has over 130 dresses all of which have been worn in the last year. If she has any that have not been worn in the last year they are sent to the charity shop (thrift store)! How to make a girl feel envious.....I only have 24!

Ah, I could waste hours just watching.....

Michelle
xxx

Reine, I live in a small Illinois town, and it is growing because of people leaving Chicago, and Rockford, but i seldom see a dress or skirt. It is RARE . But, i do see many what you would call, everyday, average, common people, and i do notice the commeraderie that women have, how social they are, how huggy, and i sometimes feel sad, because i am a loner, and have not been hugged for so long, i cannot remember when, and i do notice beauty even when they are in jeans, and sweatshirts, and their manner, and voices. I do not like the cropped off hair, though. I am pleased by women that have little figure, but have nice hair. It is not only the trade show type models that i admire, but everyday gals, especially when they have dresses like mine!!

Some people, very few it seems, have it all together. They have the poise, the clothes, the grooming, the voice, and the body of a movie star. Nearly everyone has at least one of those characteristics. Those that don't ... well ...

Anyhow, I tend to focus on those feminine attributes which I lack. I study them and wonder how I could incorporate them into my own feminine presentation. E.g. The otherwise featureless person with the kind, gentle, spirit that makes everyone comfortable and glad to be with her.

Best wishes
MsVal

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Originally Posted by ReineD

I've just asked this same question in another thread so if you don't mind I'll ask you too. Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ... say someone who is at the mall or you pass by on the street, who has an average body and who wears jeans, slouchy top (to hide her tummy), no makeup, easy-care hairstyle, etc. Just curious.

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If her face is pretty (to me that is) and they look clean (no soap dodgers), then yes, I find that very distracting and wish it could be me. I just love the femininity that oozes from a GG, in all its many guises. For me, women are intoxicating by nature and is the one feature that I will always be devoid of.

However, the one feature that always catches my attention, is eyes...gateway to the soul. I love eyes that have so much depth (not sunk into their skulls mind) you could swim in them. I am a sucker for eyes! :battingeyelashes:

Rebecca

All the time! It's kind of depressing to look in the mirror after I've dressed up and not see the sexy female body I wish for.

I find beautiful women to be an inspiration. However, looks r more important to me than many others. I'm more than willing to use extreme efforts and gimmicks to immitate them.
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Originally Posted by ReineD

------------------ Do you get the same feeling when you see an average, run-of-the-mill woman ... say someone who is at the mall or you pass by on the street, who has an average body and who wears jeans, slouchy top (to hide her tummy), no makeup, easy-care hairstyle, etc. Just curious.

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No, not a chance. Unless there's something about her look that attracts me I probably won't even see her. But then, I hate dressing to blend. While most other girls here prefer that look.

I am not sure I think about this consciously. An attractive woman is an attractive woman no matter what she wears - it is about personality mainly, but also how she moves. That same woman will look even better and be more attractive if she dresses to the nines - which is probably why many women buy a dress they want their partner to be turned on and want to take it off. That works for this heterosexual cross-dresser just as it does for many men - except we have the additional element of also wanting to put that dress on ourselves - but not if it is a dress that would not suit me - some clothes just look better on genetic women. Complete strangers will attract more attention the better they are dressed, but there are women who can overcome this no matter what they are wearing. So for me there is no simple answer.

Funny, but if I was in that crowd I would likely be thinking "Oh, if only I were young and single and horizontal with her/them . . . " A cute outfit on a cute girl would maybe have me think about dressing. A hot outfit on a hot lady and I revert to my swine heritage.

I've been to few trade shows, and yes, you can see some very stunning get ups. Sometimes the suited sales women can look better than the scanty models, it's a fact that most men will be an easier sell in the presence of an attractive woman. Having said that, a casually dressed woman can be more attractive than one who has gone to great lengths, if she is more at home in that clothing, and the one who is dressed over the top, has obviously done so to get that attention. It's a matter of style, more than content.

I see just plain (women without makeup, hair just straight, or even the chubby ones) and sometimes just wish that was me because I could do so much with her. I can workout and fix my hair and think I know a little about makeup and sexy clothing. With that in mind I would probably just get lazy like some of those regular gals are and not take care of myself. I get jealous because I know they could look great if they tried at least they have the right equipment to be fine tuned.

Jacqueline,
We use to have a display stand at Wedding Shows, on one occasion we were placed between two bridal gown stands, that was real purgatory hearing and seeing all those gowns being swished round and modelled ! My wife complained that I spent too much time in the bar area, it's was the only escape !

Hi Jacqueline, Yes I have been there and done that, The beautiful women there are a welcome distraction to me.:daydreaming:

Most definitely... These thoughts never go away. I'm always looking at women and studying their looks, and I never grow tired of it.

It might be related to my own age, but I have actually found that my attraction has widened quite a bit since I started dressing. I can find attractiveness in a much wider range of women than I did just 10 or so years ago. And I don't just mean their age. I mean their size too. What I may have thought was too heavy in the past, I can now easily look right past and find something else to admire about them. So much so, that I have actually shifted my attraction towards bigger sized women. I think this has to do with accepting my own size when dressed, finding things about my own appearance that I like has taught me that there are always things about women, of any size, that can be attractive and stylish. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are still upper limits of what I find attractive when it comes to size, but I'm pretty sure that I can find attractiveness in many women that most of my friends would not find attractive at all.

Yes , but reality is in there somewhere, trade shows are usually there to show companies their wares and those that go like to look their smartest..

Clothes do maketh the person and if you meet another potential client you do need to look your smashing best.

Go to Walmart and see reality for real. :)