Anybody Else ???

It's been buzzing around my brain enshrouded by the pink fog to go shopping for shoes at DSL Shoe Warehouse, so I gave in and decided to treat myself. I really get off on trying on women's shoes and walking around the store in them to make sure they fit. I also wear hose to allow the heels to slip on easier. I stay alert to see if their is any trouble brewing from SA's or women customers or men accompanying their wives. As I was trying on some 4" pumps with a lot of glider a female SA came over to me and said they look nice, then she said pull up your pants leg so I can see the whole shoe which I did, exposing my black hose and she then said I really like them on you. Somehow I think her comment was sincere and not a SA taught to be positive to all customers. This made me feel good that she understood that not just women like women's shoes. Now wearing 4" pumps as a male walking down the sidewalk at a shopping center may not receive her acceptance. The women customers that saw me trying on and walking in heels just ignored me so my anxiety lessened and I continued to look and try on shoes. I'm also wondered what each of these woman's "true" thoughts were when they saw me. SA's and female customers in PayLess have always been nice or not interested. I left DSL feeling good about trying on women's shoes, not being scared to do so and the warm positive feeling I got from the SA. Glad I did it, something nice I did for myself. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everybody accepted us as just another "woman" with a male package.

O yes if every body accepted, that's a big if, I live in rural France in a very tiny place but having been out lately shopping, gas and other things I have not so far had any problems in the lady in the dry cleaners when I took a long skirt in to be done raised her eyebrows when I told her it is mine but then warmed to me when she question its length compared to herself, I told her it was not a problem for me and then she proceeded to hold it against my waist and I raised my leg to help illustrate its length. I went on to tell her that I had another skirt at home, after this everything was just fine.
Strangers can also accept if approached in the right way. Showing no embarrassment or shyness if one can also helps the situation.

bobbi, You mentioned taking a skirt to the dry cleaners. I go to one about 20 miles away, and usually just one lady works there. I took a long dress in to have a back zipper put in it. When i picked it up, two ladies were working there, and both saw the whole thing, of me having to mention me name, and lady asking, "dress?"/ Me saying "yes". Paying for the work, the dress hanging there big, for all to see. I felt i bit embarrassed, but not overly, and just said have nice day, Thnks, and left, then wore it at a park later that day. I think there will always be a little fear , and vigilance , embarrassment, but less, as we go there.

Alice very well said as has been said in threads on all sorts of subjects go and do it, it gets easier and so it does this is my first week out properly and as each day goes by it gets easier, and so it will be for you. There was a little bit of fear right at the beginning but slowly it went away. My garage is about 30 yards away from my house down the lane at first I used to look up and down the lane to see if anybody was around before venturing out but now I just go out. I feel good and so should you soon, good luck with everything

I have tried on women's shoes while in male mode probably over 100 times. This is in places like Macys, WHBM, DSW, BCBG, and many others. Always great service from the SA's. Other than a few odd looks, no problems from other customers. When I get an odd look, I just stare them down and smile.

Alice, Why would it bother you to pick up a dress? Totally normal for any man to be picking up something for his wife, SO, sister, etc. Any embarrassment or discomfort is self made.

Jodi

I was just in DSW the other day in guy mode. I was looking for boots with a narrow calf opening for my skinny legs. Not much real luck except for a couple of very expensive boots from well known brands that were still way too expensive at DSW's discounted prices. Then I tried on some shorter boots with laces with no luck there either. While I was doing all this one SA would stop by to see how I was doing and actually brought me a couple of pairs of boots to try on. I ended up in the sales area and bought a nice pair of Michael Kors brown perforated flats that look and fit so good. They have good and helpful SA's.

Having read the above threads wonder what on earth is wrong with the rest of the population to think it's not normal for males to try on heels and pumps in the women's section of a shoe store???

Geez, some people see it as not normal because it is "not" normal. We are the exceptions to what is normal when shopping for women's shoes, especially for heels and pumps. It should be normal and it is not. I have been trying on women's shoes in stores for a long time (since I started dressing just before joining this site) because I found that is the only way to make sure they fit and look good on me at the same time. Years ago before I ever started nor thought about dressing as a woman I bought women's hiking boots to get them to fit my narrow feet. I think that is not a rare occurrence nor is it looked upon negatively, especially by the SA's in shoe stores. They know about feet and what may fit and may not.

As far as taking feminine attire to the dry cleaners, I own a dry cleaning bussiness, and men bring in dresses, skirts, blouses etc. all the time, most of them are probably their wives, but you never know. And I often wonder when I see orders with guys names, since I don't work the counter, I don't see the people bringing in or picking up.

Tina

I must be the 'odd man out', but I would not have any inclination to try on heels, or any women's shoes, while in DRAB!:eek:
Now, to get dressed up like a woman, and doing the same thing is tops on my list of 'things to accomplish'!
As soon as I convince my SO to accompany me to DSW or something similar, I will fulfill that wish..:battingeyelashes:

Deebra, have you shopped Gabes in Chesapeake? The ones in my area have great selection and prices for shoes any clothing. But items sell out fast!

I have tried on woman's shoes in male mode many times. Once when in Payless I bought a pair of 6 inch pink strapped heals. When I took them to the counter the girl open the box to make sure there was only one pair, I guess. She looked at the shoes and then at me with a funny look. I just said "Don't ask". She smiled, took my money and said to come back soon. No big deal !

Wow!
What an amazing experience!
Thanks for sharing.
Though I've tried on heels in drab, I've never had the confidence to walk around the immediate area in heels.
:)

I have to say, years ago, going into Victoria Secret, or somewhere like that, it was for a girlfriend. Now, I don't care if they know that it is for me. Actually enjoy their reaction sometimes, makes things fun.
Hugs,
Bree :)

Deebra, you know there's a huge variety of CDers here, right? It's the same thing with GGs. There will not be just one answer for you, yes they approve, or no they don't.

You will find that in the general GG population, SAs, restaurant personnel, etc, will most always be polite and some even nice about it. Other customers? Same thing. Some will smile at you and some won't.

As to what they think privately, some will approve, some will not, some will be OK with it because they don't know you but they wouldn't want their boyfriends to do it, some will think it funny, some will think it odd, some will think it harmless, some will think you are brave for being a guy who is willing to wear high heels in public, some would not want to get to know you better, some would want to know you better, some will think it "cool", etc.

It really all depends on each person's particular beliefs and point of view. And they're all different.

As to accepting you as a woman with a male package, that's not what they're thinking. They are thinking you are a male who likes women's shoes. And the reason they don't think of you as a woman with a male package is, this is not a gender/sex combo that people see around them. Ever. They either see males or females who have no gender issues. Even transsexuals are not perceived by everybody as females if people know about the transition. Some people persist in seeing TSs not as women, but as "males who transitioned".

:hugs:Hi Deebra, I have tried on woman's shoes at payless so many times I always wear thin nylon knee high's.:hugs:

Allie, I was just horsing around, dry humor with my thread # 7, I know what the population thinks.

Hi Y'all

I was in about 8 shoe stores in the local mall last night. I was in drab (still not going out in public dressed...yet) and it was the first time I tried on shoes in a store less than 200 miles from my home.
Mostly, it was wonderful. I felt alternating waves of complete comfort and mild discomfort or fear. Funny, the places I felt most uncomfortable were the ones with male SAs. Here are some of the great experiences:

1) At Nine West, I was in a very small clearance section with an African American woman I would guess in her 50s. I had to ask her to let me by in the aisle to get to the 12s, she was a size 10. I said, "is it only my opinion that a clearance aisle with $100 price tags needs a clearance aisle." She agreed and showed me a couple boxes with $20 price tags and asked me what I was looking for. We had a great 10 minute conversation and I got to tell her the beige wedge sandles with the orange foot bed looked great on her.

2) At Payless, where I did buy my first pair of classic black pumps and a pair of lower, wider healed pumps I could wear for hours, the SAs were VERY helpful and cheerful and accommodating! I wish they had more styles in my size 12 foot, and I am grateful for what they had - more than most other stores where I mostly try on 11s and find that some fit fine, but most are too tight.

I now have 3 pairs of shoes and want 100. I read a post the other day about being in guy mode and being satisfied with a very few pairs of shoes.....this is so true for me, too. But, put me in a women's aisle and I want every pair that has a 1 inch heel or more!!

I do want to also check in my sadness that I had to leave my two pairs of shoes in the car when I got home. Although I have recently come out to my wife of 24 years, she is still in the I do not want to see or hear about any of it mode.

Peace
Eve

4" pumps with guy pants isn't a good look IMO.

Glad you had such a great experience! I haven't had the courage to try this yet, perhaps one day! It's comforting to know that there are sales associates out there who are so understanding and helpful! It's always nice to get another gals opinion before purchase.

<3 Lauren

Today I collected my skirt from the cleaners the sa's husband was there as well for the first time and also a new sa who came see to me, took my ticket and came back with a pair of trousers, hubby called no the skirt and said to me are you going to wear it tonight and I said maybe, we had a laugh and I left!

I know my size and have always picked out my shoes and simply purchased them without trying them on. I have not had negative experiences. If they don't fit well, I simply return them without any problems. No one ever says anything except normal purchase remarks. Except once - at a Nine West Outlet store.

I walked through the store looking at shoes, declining the SA's offer for help. I saw a pair of heels that I decided to buy and brought them up to the counter to purchase. At the check-out counter, the polite and friendly young SA examined the heels, said they were awesome, and then asked in a very discrete and helpful voice "Do you want to try them on to make sure they fit OK?" I was surprised, but felt it was an honest concern. Of course I said "No thanks". She then suggested that I take advantage of a sale and a 50% discount on a second pair - and that she would help me find another great pair. She said "Follow me." I followed. She walked me around the store and picked out several pairs my size. She asked me to try on each pair and walk around the store. The store was pretty empty and I didn't even know or look to see if anyone else entered or noticed me trying on heels and boots - while dressed male. I decided on 2 pairs. She made me feel very comfortable, said she regularly had male customers, and hoped I would come back. Unfortunately the store is not close to wear I live.

i have shopped at all the major stores for shoes primarily dressed but occasionally in male attire. in many cases i have asked for and received gracious help from the various SA'sssss...never had a bad experience. only once or twice a raised eyebrow and i have walked around feeling the fit. although i have bought on ebay, the only real way to try them on.

I noticed a guy in DSW walking around trying on pairs of high heels. It was a busy day with a lot of customers and no one seemed to notice or care. He walked along, stopped when he saw shoes he liked, tried them on, and then continued looking. After trying on several pairs, he purchased a pair and left. No one paid any attention - except probably me.

Hi Deebra,

It seems like you had a great experience and most importantly a "feel good" moment and that is all we can ask as humans on this crazy planet. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers

Isha

TraciG, I was wearing tight boot cut girl jeans, just as the girls do and the 4" pumps with glider looked really nice with the black hose, put this along side a woman wearing the same thing you couldn't tell the difference. That said then if this look looks good on women and CD's wear the same thing; makes one wonder why it's O.K. for them and not us..........somebody is screwed up here, it's either the public or the crossdressers???????

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Originally Posted by bobbi46

Today I collected my skirt from the cleaners the sa's husband was there as well for the first time and also a new sa who came see to me, took my ticket and came back with a pair of trousers, hubby called no the skirt and said to me are you going to wear it tonight and I said maybe, we had a laugh and I left!

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Huh, that's strange! Most dry cleaners stores are actually just drop off sites and the clothes get processed at a different central location. I've never had a cleaning store employee make such a comment because they have no clue what they're giving me. That said, I get my girl clothes processed out of town just to be on the safe side!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tracii G

4" pumps with guy pants isn't a good look IMO.

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and yet I saw someone last week walking down Broadway here just like that