My first time out underdressed was nothing short of nervous hell the second time was much better but now the more I go out the more comfortable I am and since getting my forms and presenting a more feminine looking top the happier I am.
Do you fill happy, content, comfortable or threatened at all when out?
I used to be very nervous to the point where I was constantly looking in the mirror to make sure everything was perfect every single second I was out and I would be profusely sweating from my nerves. But as I continued to go out my nervousness has calmed down alot and I van enjoy the experience more. There are still cases were I psych myself out, but they are getting fewer and fewer.
Under dressing bothers me none at all since I been doing it so long.
Full out in fem I still get nervous and worried. Add I been doing little things now more than I used to, it's been getting better. I once worried about piercing my ears, now except for siblings and parents I don't worry about it. As they are now pierced. Recently the weekend is spent in some women's pants and shirts when we go out on the town and I am letting my hair grow.
Truthfully I have many fears i am confronting and moving forward with. Bring in the conservative mid south, crossdressing is a bit frowned upon. So I am testing waters here and there out and about.
I don't own any male underwear, so underdressing is normal and I don't ever think about it. Fully en femme is largely the same way. If I think about it, I feel euphoric. But usually I don't think about it.
Hi Bobbi,
To answer your question, I feel an internal sense of contentment/happiness when I am out because I have aligned my gender identity with who I am, a woman.
For most, feeling nervous when going out fully dressed is common place at first. It almost seems as though every fibre in your body screams "This is wrong and people are staring, pointing and laughing! " :eek: However in reality you will find that most people either don't notice, don't care or if they do notice it is simple curiosity stares. As you come to realize this and accept it . . . the nervousness slowly dissipates to the point where you begin to wonder why you were nervous to begin with.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to leave you with the false sense it is all sunshine, lollipops and unicorns as there can be rude people who might snicker, point, laugh or say something. So you do need a bit of a thick skin to navigate these waters in the beginning. However once you get past that and your confidence builds, you will care little for the stupidity of a minutia fraction of society who try to make themselves feel big by making fun of things they don't understand.
Cheers
The retired Navy SEAL that transitioned, that did 13 combat missions; somehow I don't think anyone has snickered, laughed or staired at her/..........Wonder Why???????
Under dressing never made me nervous, because, well it's under....not readily observable. Most people would never know. I'm pretty much at ease in public, fully enfemme , but then I've been doing this for a long time now, and it's simply everyday life for me.
Like people have said, underdressing is just that and therefore never bothers me. I don't really go out a lot enfemme but I will say the only comment I have ever had about it was from a little girl who was probably about four or five and that was about my shoes....
Most people are far too busy and self absorbed to notice. There is that insecure element who will make fun but that is usually over quickly and occasionally others will leap to your defence.
I remember when I underdressed the first few times I was nervous. Intellectually I knew that nobody could know and that nobody would care, but emotionally I felt that everyone knew and everyone condemned me. I assume it's a reasonably normal reaction to believe our innermost thoughts are apparent to all, even though we know they aren't. I got over it. Now I dress more openly and care less about other peoples' reactions. But I have that thread of solidarity with everyone who posts about their first underdressing adventure as a momentous occasion. The important thing is not the physical fact, the important thing is the personal bravery involved in pushing that envelope. It doesn't matter how you achieve it, it matter that you achieve it.
It all depends on where you go at first, park, shopping, malls. After becoming comfortable out and about,I just don't give it a thought anymore even around family and friends who know the real me.Quote:
Originally Posted by taylormercedes
I have underdresed many times and it really did not bother me i just went with it and enjoyed the experience
It used to be that getting out the door took almost as long as getting ready for me! I now get ready and go without any hesitation.
As with pretty much everyone my first time out was a major struggle. I think it took me almost an hour and trips to three different stores before I could get out of my car. Once I finally psyched myself up, went in and the world didn't blow up, I had to make two more stops!
I'm working on my second year of going out en femme and occasionally have days when I abort a trip early or can't get myself to get out of the car. It seems to happen more often when I try some new kind of clothes or when some sort of "incident" happens. A good example of that is I once planned out a trip to a grocery store followed by going to a shopping mall. I was on cloud 9 grocery shopping until two elementary school age boys came running down the aisle and almost knocked me over. I called it a day and changed back to male mode! But even now I still get days when all I can't bring myself to do is drive around town.
As many here have said it does get easier with each outing. Believe it or not I would never thought I would go to Walmart because I thought the mall was easier. So I stayed away from going there, well guess what the last two times I went out, yep went to Walmart without even a thought. It felt great
I'm the exact opposite! I like Walmarts because most have self check out! Despite getting getting dolled up I still shop in guy mode and have problems of going to a store and not actually buying something! I always suspected buying something in the typical shopping mall store would be a chore with the necessary human interaction and my one and only attempt at a Sears was a TOTAL disaster!Quote:
Originally Posted by LeighR
I always feel very comfortable when I underdress. It's never obvious and i don't purposely wear clothing that reveals that I'm wearing panties or some other type of lingerie. In fact, when I go out for my late night walks, I have everything on I'm going to wear with the exception of my heels or boots, wig, and breast forms which I keep in a backpack. The only thing I have on is a loose fitting zip hoodie, loose fitting sweat pants, and a pair of tennis shoes that I can slip off and on quickly. Just enough to look inconspicuous at first glance if anyone sees me walking out of the neighborhood under a street lamp or if I'm in view of the headlights of a passing car.
I've been underdressing for so long I honestly don't remember what I felt like wearing panties out for the first time.
My first time I went out dressed was just a quick drive to the packy. I wasn't all that nervous. I go out so much now it doesn't really phase me. As long as I'm going somewhere I know I won't run into anyone I know I'm fine. It's waiting in parking lots that make me the most nervous.
I have had three fears.
1) you mom use to say ... what if you get into a accident and ... I would be found out at the Hospital.
2) and this has happened ... while driving, i saw a accident and quickly went to help the elderly couple who were hit by this girl texting. I was in C size forms, bra and I am sure someone noticed but I just forgot, and
3) When I forget that I have a jacket and have on problems hiding it in rain gear, but I am in the store Ralphs or Costco and open my jacket because it is getting hot ... I have raised a few eyes.
I underdress all the time so it just feels normal. As for fully dressed, well I still get just a little nervous before I head out but, that very quickly dissipates and enjoyment settles in... As others have said, practically everyone will not notice, nor care or politely say nothing if you are dressed appropriately. I went shopping today in jeans, sneakers and a top. Even got my nails done without anyone looking like they noticed, or cared.
If you plan it well, it is a great feeling. It's wonderful validation of the woman I am.
Hi Bobbi,
I've been underdressing for years both at home and work. If I'm not wearing panties and hose under my clothes I feel uncomfortable. They just feel "Right".
I don't go out dressed very often but when I do I'm a little scared and excited. Once I'm out though I relax and just go for it. It has always been worth it in the end.
Good Luck and Enjoy!
Love,
Linda W.
I got a chuckle out of this one. I have never been out en-femme - not even in some androgynous garb but I have been out a number of times underdressed and I love to shop for things for Lacey while underdressed. However, I did recall my first trip out underdressed with a smile. I was wearing a pair of pink PAM nylon hipsters with a lace waistband under a pair of jeans. I went grocery shopping at the local Safeway and I was sure that everyone had X-ray vision. I was worried that people could detect a panty line and I was terrified that if I bent over that counters that some lace would show,
Needless to say, times have changed
Hi Bobbi, Underdressing gives me a very relaxing feeling that is so rewarding.
When I am out & about I always wonder about the other guys if they are underdressed .:daydreaming:
linda I feel the same doing more gets easier but somehow I feel more at home as it were when I am wearing forms as well as underdressed. When I first underdressed and went out I somehow did not feel complete with my forms I feel so much more comfortable and complete. But total comfort "out there" is still a little way off.
Hey Bobbi, Isha has given a great answer as to how it is with me as well. I've been going out in public for over 30 years, but never felt totally comfortable. Once I finally convinced myself that I am in fact female, I did some things to give me confidence. Lasering my beard has just about removed the only thing that made me self conscious. My shadow would show up just hours after shaving or I had on so much makeup to cover it up that I looked a bit cartoonish.
HRT has calmed and adjusted my demeanor to the point where I'm happy as my true self and no long worry overtly about my presentation. I just get out and enjoy my true life.
Underdressed has never been a problem at all for me, totally comfortable.
More so then when in full guy mode.
As far as full on dressed out, Always nervous, I have always been very self conscious about my looks
and going out dressed en-fem, only makes that works. Even though I feel way more comfortable dressed that way.
I've never gone out en femme. I don't know if I ever will. I love the idea of it. I don't really underdress either. But my legs are always shaved and my toes are always painted. I do have a little bit of a fear about something happening and having to take my boot and sock off and being 'found out'. But, the satisfaction I get out of it, outweighs my fear.
bobbi
i go out a lot dressed en femme and only once had a less than wonderful time. first time ever was safeway, then after that to the mall, the art galleries, then shopping for women's clothing at major stores, then downtown....even macdonald's with families and baseball teams
the confidence grew, the thrilling feeling of excitement settled down to that of just being a woman out.
i find it normal, wonderful and fullfilling
Underdressing is no big deal for me at all because people don't know or care. Going out en femme was a different story. The first time I went out I was playing around at home and I thought I looked too perfect so I said hell with it and hit the town. The hardest part was getting through the front door, but it was easy after that. Sometimes when I am nervous I will put on sunglasses because I feel it gives me an extra layer or boundry of protection. I would also take a taxi cab from my home to whatever my destination was and that helped alot and the cab drivers never cared. My confidence got to the point where I will just dress up, grab my purse and hit the streets without a care in the world. It takes awhile to build to that point, but it is fun once you get there
As others have said under-dressing is comfortable have been doing it for years, have even gone shopping for women's attire while under-dressed and have been allowed to try the clothes on. So what if the SA had a chuckle while walking past the dressing area and seen my legs in-case in nylons. The few times I have gone out completely dressed as a woman I would always check myself in reflection of the windows that I have passed.
I do want to start going out more dressed as a woman but the biggest problem I see in doing that is I like wearing dresses with heels and the population of women like to wear slacks and flats.
b46:
No issue with underdressing. I've been doing it for close to 10 years and the time spent in male underwear is essentially zero.
For the past 10 months I have been attending crossdresser gatherings that are 50 and 100 miles from my home. I dress fully for those 2-3 times a month. I've gotten pretty relaxed about those. I dress at home and then drive to the event.
My car is pretty distinctive and one time when I left, I passed my neighbor from across the street a couple of blocks away. She waved and I turned to look at her wearing a wig and girlie sunglasses. I have no idea what she thought, but I suspect it made for an interesting conversation with her husband.
DeeAnn
Underdressing is no problem, as no one can see what you have under your outer clothing. I don't go out fully dressed, only to my porch to pick up the newspaper or sit there and have a coffee & cigarette. I have a large bush in front that offers some concealment. As I explained in previous posts I do not emulate a woman, but remain a man with facial hair but dressed in a skirt & nylons. I live on a somewhat busy street with many cars going by as well as transit buses and frequently, at night, I stand on the steps and perhaps am seen by the passing traffic. Most people probably never realise what they see from the corner of their eye. I travel on those buses daily, and don't ever remember specifically noticing anybody standing on their porch and what they are wearing. The more times I've done that the braver I become. Most people are preoccupied with their own lives and hardly notice others.
For the first few times going out I felt very nervous but now I feel happy, free and even enjoy meeting other people. Last time I was out shopping at Walmart I had a nice conversation with a few sales associates. All were friendly an open minded
I wear panties 24/7 and live the girl part almost 50% of the time now. I feel weird not wearing panties and also when I have to present as a male. I don't feel threatened much and when I do it's only because guys hit on or stare at me and that makes me feel weird. Overall much more comfortable living as a girl.
Try these. All are OK out in public in either "boy" or “girl” mode. Wearing clothes usually associated with the opposite sex rapidly becomes normal. Underdressing also provides a “head-start” for presenting as a woman since you are already wearing a bra, panties, slip, and nylons! Items that could be spotted as women’s clothes when underdressing, such as a bra and nylons, are more of a challenge in “boy” mode; but when there is no reaction from either men or women that invites one to wear only womenswear. I have found these items acceptable; they are readily available and, in fact, are mass-market items in the women’s department.
!) Slacks: Women’s pull on pants are much easier to put on than men’s belted pants. They do not need a fake fly, as the absence of it is usually not apparent, but I prefer non-figured and solid color, non-pastel pants so they are not readily identified as women’s clothing.
2) Panties: Underwear with a fly is unnecessary with womens pull-on pants. Although there are no-fly briefs in the men’s department, women’s full-cut briefs work just as well, and are often cheaper.
3) Slips: Shirttails tend to readily pull out of pull on pants. This can expose panty and pantyhose tops. A “solution” is to wear a full slip that is short enough to be worn with slacks. Also slips are usually made of material that makes it easier to pull on and straighten pants.
4) Bra: Although wearing a bra in public in “boy” mode can make one nervous and it is a challenge to “hide” it, wearing a bra can make one feel feminine and can be practical in “boy’ mode to keep non-adjustable straps on a slip from falling off the shoulders.
5) Nylons: Although wearing them in public can also make one nervous, an MD suggested that I wear pantyhose to avoid the indentation in my lower legs that mid-calf or knee-high socks make. Pantyhose do not require anything that is not also needed with women’s pull-on pants. Opaque ones are best, as they aren't readily identified as women's hosiery, but that isn't necessary and sheer nylons are OK and are more available. I actually prefer thigh highs as they are easier to put on than pantyhose, they do not need to be lowered to go to the bathroom, and only one leg needs to be thrown out when a run becomes apparent.
All of these are now “normal,” except for wearing a bra, although there is a raison d’etre there too. There is a bit of nervousness there, which I'm overcoming with baby “steps,” such as wearing it with a light tee to get the mail. As soon as my wife accepts that I.m wearing a bra, it will become “normal” too.
think about the opposite -how uncomfortable do you feel out in menswear? personally i'm far more comfortable fully dressed, okay underdressed, and wouldn't even contemplate full menswear
Decades ago I wore a pair of white panties to work. As I sat on my rump in an office for most of the day I found the nylon did not breathe the way cotton underpants breathed. There was a certain amount of dampness on the rump that became annoying.
After finding this site and the number of posts concerning underdressing I thought I'd give it a try. As a retiree now I did not have to worry about office personnel finding out by self outing that I was wearing women's undergarments. I gave it a whirl during the fall and winter. Winter is not bitter cold in western Washington State, so I was not bundled up. I wore my jeans and shirt with a sweatshirt. I would wear a black bra, black stretchy lace camisole, Vanity Fair black briefs and pantyhose. Sometimes I wore black thigh high stockings with a garter girdle which covered the abdomen and not the rump. I really did not get any sort of thrill. I did not feel feminine. Since I was use to wearing only men's tee shirts and underpants, cotton, I found the garments to be rather constricting. They became more uncomfortable than any sort of pleasurable. I probably was feeling the same way as my wife when she complains about the restrictive feeling when wearing a bra all day.
So, I gave it a try and vote thumbs down.
As to going out en femme. After the first forays into the unknown I found it was somewhat boring if I went for too long of a walk. I guess if there is no purpose to the trip, then it's as boring as going out en drab with no purpose. When I have the opportunity I still like venturing out en femme for a drive and stopping to return library books to the night dropoff slot; picking up a newspaper from the free newspaper boxes; mailing a letter or just plain taking a stroll. As opposed to underdressing I find the cool night air exhilarating as the breeze catches the skirt of my dress and slips and caresses my legs. I do not wear women's pants. I find nothing at all stimulating about wearing women's jeans or pants. If it is comfort I am seeking in women's clothing, I'm staying with dresses. And, I love dresses without a defined/belt waist. I love the more free flowing sheaths, empire waists, wraps, etc.
I have not gone forth and mingled with the masses shopping or dining en femme, except for several Halloweens when anything goes. I dress for relaxation which would be lost with prying eyes and scowls from disapproving people cast my way. If I was not six foot and 200 pounds I'd give it a try. Not too many people would really notice a mature five foot seven woman.
Anyway, I gave underdressing a try and found it was overrated.
I am getting for comfortable the more I go out albeit underdressed but with forms and a suitable top I have yet to get up enough courage to go out en femme totally that is the next nervous hurdle to jump over, give me time I suppose, I am not sure how to get round that one.
I have no problem underdressing-I don't give it a second thought. I have yet to go out en femme and don't know if that will ever be reality
Was always confident when underdressing. No one could see I was wearing feminine panties under my male pants, so what was to worry about?
My first few times leaving the house en-femme and driving to a nightclub I was anxious, but relaxed once I was in the club.
Have been going out for a year or so now, and am about as close to completely confident as I am likely to get. I'll go to a fast food restaurant, fancy restaurant, department store, grocery, Starbucks, music venue, dance club or whatever, and not worry at all. Once you get your presentation and voice down, and realize that people either accept you or at worst pretend not to see you, it becomes a non-issue, and you can just have fun and experience life as a lady should.
Own it, live it, and enjoy it!
I do not underdress typically. However been out many times enfemme. Yesterday my SO was out and about all day. Stopped in a thrift shop. WE both got a denim skirt and top. Came home and washed them and the clothes I was wearing lol. Put on one of my plaid skirts and no top. My SO said if you are a girl cover your top. So I got a sports bra out and put it on. We then took the washed clothes we bought and got ready to go out. We went to a movie and then olive gardens to cap the evening. We got home late and Went to bed after midnight. So I spend entire days out shopping and doing stuff. It feels right if I'm in my girly mode. Walking with that swing and feeling womanly is nice. I never felt threatened. We are in a conservative area and have never felt threatened yet. But I do not put myself in any dangerous areas. Most people keep to themselves.
Been wearing panties for a long time and haven't worn guy panties in forever.
Totally comfy wearing clothes of the opposite sex jeans,tops, shoes in guy mode.It just seems normal to me.
Enfemme and out on the town totally comfy doing that too.
I well remember feeling nervous the first time that I went out under-dressed - that illogical feeling that everyone was staring and could see EXACTLY what I was wearing under my boy clothes. Of course, they couldn't! Nor did they give a hoot! Now, if I'm out under-dressed I just enjoy it, safe in the knowledge that I'm secretly getting a girly 'fix'.
As for being out and about fully en-femme - much the same story. At first I imagined that everyone was staring and seeing right through me. Now I know differently. It's just experience.
When I am out underdressed, I rarely think about it in those terms any more, it is how I like to go out and I don't have the nerves, or the worry, i am comfortable because I love to be underdressed and the more you do it the easier it becomes, I have never had any comments or any glances that would suggest that any one has noticed
I have been cross dressing for many many years now, most of my life and when I first went out underdressed, i watched every single person, convinced they would know and there would be a scene and there were times when the nerves were ridiculous, but time moves on and we become more comfortable with who we are, or at least I have and now it is just something I do, no nerves, no sweats and just happy nice feelings
I wear panties every day unless I'm going to the doctor so they have become "underwear" to me and I don't think about them. I also wear women's jeans as "jeans" unless I'm doing dirty work that would mess them up.
When I go out as Krisi I am a bit nervous and I try to avoid interacting with people. I drive, I walk, I sit on a park or mall bench and I put gas in the car.
Today I had to laugh about this, having walked into town in a black cami-tunic and bright orange leggings, sandals and toenails all painted different colours. Yes there were a couple of screwed-up female faces judging me, but it was a really busy time of day and no-one else seemed bothered. On the way back home I passed a man I know who crossdresses, and found it most amusing that he looked down at my toenails and smiled. How comfortable? Completely, I've been more judged in manclothes.
It never seems to amaze me about the number of people that do not notice that I am out there with obviously my forms, this morning was no different I was in a large supermarket with pants my favourite flower pattern top every where I went in that shop nobody noticed that I had "boobs" as well. Either I am getting more comfortable going out en femme or life is getting easier going out dressed.
Finding comfort like this is wonderful.
Since i wear panties every day it never bothers me, even when going to the doctor. Painted toenails the same. Gets a few raised eyebrows from nurses, but it is my business, not theirs.
Well, I only had a small nervousness underdressing, but with a bra under my shirt, still was self conscious, especially at the blood plasma center. Wen out seven times this summer, mainly walking in parks, and sidewalks, once bought stamps in a post office, and bought a few bakery things at a bakery full of people. My height, in heels, around six foot nine or ten, does give me away, though, but once i got out of the car and walking, was not so nervous, but, i definitely was aware of my surroundings, and people in the vicinity. Went to a few drive ups,and i think my voice gave me away. Got gas a few times, one cop must have seen me the whole time. Felt good, when he drove off. Certainly, it is wise to plan things, and consider unforessen problems, and keep an emergency bag of guy clothes, maybe a second wig in the purse, if some jerks grabs the one being worn.
With regards to being out in public, I do feel comfortable. I go out to clubs and out in daylight to downtown areas. With regards to the clothing and wig, etc. not so comfortable. Still, I really enjoy the whole process of getting dressed and going out. I never underdress. It is everything or nothing.
If I am out in public, I am very comfortable , I keep my dressing very toned down, and simple...leggings, mild heels or boots, nothing too revealing, there was one outing recently I felt a little uncomfortable, but thats cause I was going to a "Back to school " party and had on a school girl skirt, something I would NEVER wear outside of the bedroom...I just dont like to draw any unwanted attention. Under dressing is something I never do either..It does absolutely nothing for me.