For how many of you did this start out as a fetish?

So, I honestly found out about my my addiction to dressing like a woman last year. It makes me aroused like nothing else. It's been a super confusing year for me, confused about my orientation, everything. Slowly I'm going back to normal though. Anyway, my fetish is super addicting right now. I'm into the "sissy boy" genre of things, and while it is great fun, it also keeps me away from pursuing women.

It went age play> sissy play for me. Some tell me that this is a sign of a repressed transexual and that distresses me greatly, lol. I've managed to live 21 years of a happier life without partaking in this fetish though. It was always there, but wasn't strong until I opened the box :)

it did for me, wearing panties at times for 12 years before i even thought about dressing fully! (bit slow on the uptake, I was)

Hehhhh, yeah I have other female clothing, but sometimes I decide not to wear it. It's mostly the panties that get me going for now. I tried a bra, but it doesn't really do it for me :( Something about panties....

It did start as fetish to me when I was younger (around 15). I'd start with some sexy lingerie my mom had lying around, I stop for a while and started again a couple of years ago by buying some high heels (I got really hooked on platform heels) and scaled from there (gf being supportive made this a lot more easier), the fetish part is still there but It isn't my 'main' thing now.
I guess it evolves with time and you, when it won't be 'new', you probably start to look things differently.

I think you don't need to be distressed with this situation, from what I see here in forum it's a recurring question and people dealt with it eventually. Like you said it has been a tough and confusing year for you. Probably you could let the haze set and think better about what you want regarding all of this.

Some people here might tell you that you will progress, outgrow, evolve, etc. From the fetish stage. Take it from someone who knows otherwise, don't count on it. Maybe, maybe not.
The pleasure is addicting, and may interfere with a relationship. But you can experience the pleasure your fetish brings to you and live a normal life as long as you don't let it get out of control, like demanding time, attention, focus, money, etc. that needs to go elsewhere.

@Nicole

I knew the fetish was always there with little signs, like i'd ask myself when I was a kid "why doesn't my mom wear skirts?", tried on her clothes and felt aroused, etc. I just didn't really KNOW about the fetish until last year. I then tried to find people I could relate to and was led to multiple TG communities, heard about bruce jenner, etc and became very confused. It has become one of the main addictions I have right now though. The pleasure I get from it has only increased from the first time I indulged, lol.

I'm slowly becoming less anxious about my "situation" though, not really repressing it anymore, but I've read about the nature of fetishes on the internet and how they can take on a life of their own. It makes sense.

Thanks guys!

I began dressing out of the blue in my 50's, Mikey. At the time, I think I could best be described as Trans or TS? Because I wanted to become a female.

But, dressing soon became an exciting turn on for me. Now, 18 years later, I realize I am simply a closet CD. And, even at my advanced age, it is still exciting to see a sexy female in my mirror! In private. When I'm prepping to go out and when I'm out? Sex never enters my mind!:straightface:

I've come to realize and accept that Sherry stands between me and having a real, live GF. As has been said, these fetish things CAN be very addicting!:eek:

Hahaha, yeah, I just remember having this intense desire to find a girlfriend. So I started talking to this chick for awhile and she rejected my advances. Being the full of myself guy that I am, I told myself "whatever, I don't need a woman at all, I have myself!". I found myself strangely attracted to this pair of panties in the store where I worked, I decided to buy a few, and it was all downhill from there! This is pretty much my major milestone in finding myself a woman at the moment also.

Extreme addiction would describe this well. Life was def more manageable without knowing I had this part of me, lol. Whatever though, I guess it was inevitable.

Don't try to analyse things, just go with the flow.

A little fantasy along the way doesn't hurt at all.

Just don't include others in it unless they have already expressed their bent. :)

@Bev

Hehe, that's sadly part of the fetish. Including others in it without even knowing they're taking part in it. I manage to control myself pretty okay though. I guess that's the nature of fetishes. You never know what turns a certain person on. Females turn me on in every way possible, touching them, feeling them, and last but not least, being them :)

For me there was some aspects that were in the fetish category as I enjoyed dressing in little girl clothes and even kinda like a baby girl, I pretty much left that behind but my enjoyment for wearing women's clothes stayed with me.
I've even liked the sissy part too as in a sissy maid but again most of that is behind me. I think I understood it was really just about enjoying the clothes and colors and fabrics of the clothes and so now I'm were I am today just a male CD that just enjoyes being dressed

Maybe you should see a therapist to address your doubts. I don't believe having a fetish or your enjoyment of crossdressing indicate you are a repressed transsexual. If you enjoy being with women and they turn you on in every way possible, it seems like you should continue to be with them while you also discover and understand your crossdressing needs and behavior.

It actually started out when I was young as a need to ID myself and my feelings to myself. The fetish part came in when puberty came along more or less. Now that I'm older and have integrated all of my feelings it's mostly about self expression and showmanship.:battingeyelashes::)

It started with my love of high heels.
I only got fully dressed up with makeup, wig, heels, and a skirt for the sole purpose to walk in high heels in a place other than the house.
:)

I started that way too, and never stopped!! I have worn a few regular dresses, but they don't do anything for me. I just enjoy my sissy maid outfits, and that is pretty much it.

I don't think you're that unusual as to how you've started - and the fact that CD fetish/hookup websites greatly outnumber those (like this one) of a more cerebral leaning, seems convincing proof that there are plenty more like you for whom this starts as a sexual fetish, develops as a sexual fetish and probably remains as such... You'll just have to accommodate it in life as best you can. :)

I don't get the 'repressed TS' being related to sissy play - just.. not rational for me, nor have I read that anywhere.

From personal experience, I was first attracted to girls outfits when I was 5 or 6-ish - so nothing sexual then... but a few years later some rather shocking and surprising sexual reactions would be triggered... I think this is seen often at puberty and continues for some time. But that diminished quite a few years back now and there's clearly something deeper at play... Getting away from a sexual element does make it satisfying in a different way and like Kate, for me (we Kates stick together... ;)) there is great satisfaction in the expression... :daydreaming:

Katey x

No. I started when I was 3, long before I knew anything about sex. For me it's all about feeling "correct," and always has been.

As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a girl like my Mother, that would be around 7 years old. On a shopping trip to a department store when I was around 9 or 10 a display of girl's training bras caught my eye. I was staring at it when from behind me I heard my Mother's voice, "do you want me to buy you one?". I was so scared, driving home she went on and on about how ashamed she was of have a panty waist for a son. As scared as I was it did not stop me from peaking in the hamper before my bath at night to see if any of her panties were there. I thought my heart would explode as I slipped into them for a minute, thinking she'd be kicking the door in any second! After 40 years I have started underdressing in panties and now that it is cooling off and will be wearing heavier cloths plan on underdressing in bras as well. Wearing a bra and panty is my new normal and like most women I do it to feel pretty. Sadly, I have a face that would make a train take a dirt road ;-(.

Cheers,
Amy

It started as a satin fetish, my crossdressing based on a desire to dress up in silky fabrics. The best way of doing this was to wear my mother's things while I was alone - pjs, nighties, dresses, blouses - anything made of satin. But got addicted to the way women's clothes looked and felt, and after trying a skirt one night I was hooked for life. Went from wanting to try on silky things to wanting to be a girl.

I don't think it started as a fetish for me as a child I just liked the feeling of wearing pretty clothes and looking somewhat pretty. The arousal and such didn't really develop til my teen years.

I sense a temporary situation here! I'm not getting a sense of longevity in the world of cd ?

I regularly began dressing from about 12 onwards to very regularly around 15, I became sexually aware around 15 too (slow learner lol) and I feel I made dressing sexual which I have since moved on from. I never had an attraction to satin or nylons or heels etc etc, I did find underwear arousing for a time but not any more, they're just as dull as male underwear aside from the nice patterns on panties.

I started dressing when I was 13/14 and it def was a fetish and now 23 years later to a certain extent it still is a sexual thing for me but not all the time sometimes I just like to be dressed and made up and feel incredibly sexy other times I just feel comfortable in a dress. Like others have said if you can and just go with the flow xxx

When I started dressing around 10/13 it was absolutely sexual; Even now there's still some arousal, but it's grown to be more about identity then sexuality.

Really good point nicole ...confronting yhe need or benefit of controlling a fetish

Like many here have stated, I started dressing at about 5 so there was no sexual component to it. No doubt that when puberty hit, it became a fetish. At this point I dress with no sexual component, though sometimes with. So, I guess I grew into it.

I'm not convinced there's no sexual aspect prior to puberty. I can remember at age 5-6 laying on the bed face down and rubbing myself on the bed. No, it couldn't come to a "conclusion" but it felt good doing it. By that age I had a strong attraction to lipstick and high heels, strong fetishes for me still. I don't believe fetishes begin at puberty. Much earlier, just unable to "enjoy" them fullly yet.

I started during my teen years and it is definitely a fetish to me, I have a strong fetish for makeup and that's where it started.

For me it was part fetish and partly what I wanted to do

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

I'm not convinced there's no sexual aspect prior to puberty. I can remember at age 5-6 laying on the bed face down and rubbing myself on the bed. No, it couldn't come to a "conclusion" but it felt good doing it. By that age I had a strong attraction to lipstick and high heels, strong fetishes for me still. I don't believe fetishes begin at puberty. Much earlier, just unable to "enjoy" them fullly yet.

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Yup. I've never believed there was really a time I remember when this wasn't sexualized. There was always sort of a "bondage" aspect of women's clothing to me. I remember being on a church camping trip at around 8 years old. The punishment for acting out of terms was that you had to wear a blue dress for the rest of the trip. I recognize that feeling I had towards that "punishment" now as arousal. In fact, I remember my arousal at just hearing the word "skirt".

Hi Mikeyp, At age four I didn't even know about fetishes .:daydreaming:

As a child I was the young companion of my mother and sister. I was fascinated with the way they dressed. Mom would get completely dressed, makeup, foundation, bra, stockings and heels. Everything but her dress and then get us ready for school. Quite the image! I always helped my sisters with their hair. As puberty dawned, my older brothers had images of fabulous buxom untouchable women. Something just clicked and I decided to just become the woman of my desires. As it was my fantasy, I could do whatever I wanted. There was already a residual bondage thing. This has all become a very creative and enlightening experience.

Blue Orchid, I didn't know about fetishes until reading all I could find about them (while reading all I could find about crossdressing) in my early teens, but they were there anyway, long before I ever heard the word fetish.

That's a hard question to answer. When I first tried on my sister's clothes at around 5ish, there wasn't anything overtly erotic about it but I did find it arousing in a way I couldn't describe. I just hated being a boy and all of the expectations of "boyishness" and thought being a girl would suit me better. At the same time I had dreams and fantasies that could only be described as intensely erotic but they involved women in authority: babysitters, nurses, teachers, etc. It wasn't until I reached puberty that these themes began to merge. My first orgasm was the result of a fantasy where I was dressed as a girl while some boys had their way with me. I found that very disturbing. Up until then my usual fantasies couldn't get me over the top. Afterwards, my femdom fantasies started to incorporate aspects of feminization. The common theme is emasculation which is why I think of myself as an emasculation fetishist rather than, say, a tranvestic fetishist... although I'm that, too.

@stevie before I figured out my love for crossdressing, I was heavily into age play. I'd imagine myself as a baby with a dominant woman in my life, who would humiliate me and tend to my every need. That then started to escalate into the "sissy" world of things. I'm not all that into the "man" aspect of it all though, although I can get a taste for that stuff from time to time. "helpless sissy" would best describe my crossdressing.

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

Some people here might tell you that you will progress, outgrow, evolve, etc. From the fetish stage. Take it from someone who knows otherwise, don't count on it. Maybe, maybe not.
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Total agreement 49 years old here been dressing since I can remember and I still love it allot...great turn on, and it makes me happy.

To everyone's point do not be s=distressed and unless you re talking to a real gender therapist don't take their advice...

Hi all. This is as good a place as any for my first post. For me this is all a fetish I guess. I do love the feel of fish nets and pantyhose. Love the look of 6" platforms on my feet. However, I will try to keep this classy...after I reach orgasm, the thrill of wearing these things is gone. The other night I dressed up, reached my conclusion, and when I was finished I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "you look ridiculous." So I guess the pre orgasm me is my feminine side and post is my male side?? Can anyone relate to this?

That isn't my case, but it's a common thing to hear. For me, I tend to feel like any urge is an annoying interruption, switch to male clothes before, then take a shower after and go back as soon as possible.

It's clearer if there's a clear sexual component, and maybe that's good. If I see something pretty that I don't have or if another color that I'd love, it's a big temptation to get it -- and while I'm closeted, I dress almost 100% at home -- and that could be rooted in some primal urge (of which sexual arousal is perhaps the greatest) -- but I don't feel aroused at all. It could just be some muted thing. As with many people, at puberty, it had some effect when I first put them on, but I just wanted to be past that at that time, until I quit because I was scared of being caught. When I came back to it years later, I figured it would be a fetish, but it wasn't. Didn't help with that, I just loved collecting clothes and wearing them. But it's a compelling hobby.

Also, I don't have any big impulse to pass, although that could be because it would be difficult to do so.

It's more complicated, I think, if you can't be 100% sure why you do what you do, except that it's fun. Since I know people who have transitioned, however, the lack of clarity can make one wonder.

I can perfectly relate to you Indiana ..... I could have wrote your very post ..... It's kinda hard to talk about

I started dressing up right at puberty , I loved the feel and look of girls clothing .... I loved to be "pretty" .

I admired the respect and command that a dolled-up girl got in my eyes .

My first orgasism came when I was in pantyhose ,heels , and a bra ..... 70's babyblue terrycloth minidress on ....... IT came as a surprise to me!!!!! I thought I had broken something !!!!!

IF I had more female friendly features , I might have chosen a different path in life . I have thur the years gone thur stages . The gathering of clothes , shoes, makeup,etc ....

Then burning them in a bonfire .... Living alone at times will make you more addicted to it .... Yes it's a thrill , but yes I would go right back to dressing ..... I would spend days dressed up , trying different clothes and looks . Almost got caught numerous times . Pretty sure I got caught twice . Nothing ever got back to me though.

I'm back doing it again. I'm challeneged to get as girly looking as possible . It's like a quest ..... Don't know what I will do if I get there.

It's still got a sexual side.

There is more to my story than I care to really just share with anyone ...... But if anybody here that reads this wants to talk more ...... just PM me .

I don't understand my situation , nor do I ever expect to have those "answers" that I use to seek .....

Just knowing there are other people that have felt like me ...... brings me happiness :)

I was hiding in my mothers big closets when I was about 10. I say her nylon and shoes and tried them on. That was it.

I supposed it did start out as a fetish, as in I did get a sexual charge and release from dressing up. The more I do it, the more comfortable I become and the less arousing it becomes, which I like. I can put on a dress, fix my makeup, and enjoy the time I have, short as it is, to be me.

It all started as punishment, when I was four, mostly panties, and continued through childhood. I can't say for sure when it stopped, but I always remembered it in a weird senual sort of way, which prompted me to go back to it on my own as puberity came on. The first time I came, I was wearing a panties stuffed bra, panties, girdle, stockings, and slip. I was clueless as to what just happened, and was abit scared, too. But, it didn't stop me from going back to the clothes, I just had to be prepared to control any mess. By listening to guys talking at school, I figured out what was going on, they whacked the monkey looking at a Playboy. Was what I was doing any different,and this all became a regular habit. A regular habit becomes a fetish after awhile, especially when you are really enjoying what you are doing. No harm, no foul or so one thinks...

The problem is that one day you find out that this is not a socially acceptable habit, and you quickly start to make sure that noone will ever find out about what you are doing. When I was first doing this, good boys didn't play with themselves, and they sure didn't wear girls clothes either, doing those things made you a prevert. All of this causes a person to bury their habit very deep, quitting was not an option, the habit is already well ingrained, not to mention all of the pleasure it was giving you, which you don't want to give up.

Self condemnation can really mess a person up. To come to the point of accepting who you are, is a very important step. The question to be asked and answered is does your fetish control you, or do you control it. Getting anything that is out of control, under control is important. I had to ask myself many questions, as in why was I in such a rush to get out of the clothes after the deed is done. What would it take to get beyond this? Did I have to get beyond this? I forced myself to stay in the panties because I had to reprogram my mind to see panties as underwear, and not something else. I had to tell my wife, and she was pretty accepting about it, which was fortunate for me. I always enjoyed the clothes, I just had a see the two of them as not always being linked to each other. I wear many of these items now, in a nonsexual way.

We all have habits, some small, others big. How many times does one person check a door to see if it is locked? Why does another person put Ketchup on everything? I think that all people have something that they obsess about in one way or another, the question is what does society generally think about that obsession! Should what they think really matter?

Personally, I find this site to be a safe haven where I can share my thoughts, read others thoughts, and realize that I am just a person who needs to be loved and accepted inspite of my habits, obsessions, quirks, whatever. If one person wants to live full time in their prefered clothes, so what. If another person only wants to get dressed up to have some play time, who should really care. I need to help make the world a better place, and I choose to start by loving and accepting others regardless of their past, present, but I want to help make their future better too. My clothes, or what I do in then shouldn't hinder me from that.

Gilliam like your reply as to ...stating out as fetish.triggers for me were a teacher punishing to talking so much h I was a sissy ..aged 8 mortified in a boys o ly school ..and then an experience of being lost in a tbeatre foruma mk ongst of boot clad ladies mostly blond .. Only 9 not sexually awarebut something latent afoot!

I started with women's shoes and never stopped even though I dress a lot shoes are still a huge turn on and my girl friend loves it. We have all kinds of matching shoes from flats to high high heels

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Definitely started as a pantyhose fetish.