The Rush is on to have a transgender child.

The rush seems to be on to be the first on the block to be parents of a transgender child. Is this the result of media exposure of "Being Transgender" ? or is this just more openness to healthy exposure in the media.

Just looking for some thoughts.

Added

I've just noticed a lot of articles lately of parents who or media who are labeling, seeking treatment for their kids is rising.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/heal...referrals.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/sex-change-treatment-children-rise-article-1.1025598
http://radaronline.com/celebrity-new...ender-idenity/
http://www.wikihow.com/Determine-if-...is-Transgender

To me, kids are kids. People who wish to have "trans" kids are just as bad as those who deny "trans" kids.

Why would there be any rush to have a TG child? Is it considered as a trendy thing to be the first with a TG child? I'm not trying to sound ignorant and offensive so apologies in advance. It's just something I feel is pretty extreme and maybe a little too rushed, having lived a childhood undergoing many intrusive painful surgeries myself, for totally unrelated reasons.

I feel this kind of adult pressure to be TG (if this kind of pressure is what you mean, as I'm not totally clear on the topic) is the last thing to put on any child. I'm still unconvinced adult intervention to encourage early treatment on young children. I think it risks bringing in more confusion onto the child not allowing him/her to go at their own natural pace only. Let kids remain kids at least until they reach puberty which is when things really start to kick-off.

They discover these things by themselves anyway without adult influence. I'm alarmed at the younger preteen ages more and more are starting some kind of medical treatment (which is what I read somewhere), and intrusive irreversible surgery is definitely still something not to be rushed into when they reach their teenage years. I feel that it's definitely a decision best taken at a more mature adult level, and when the body has fully grown and developed. But through the childhood and teen years there should at least be counselling to help them fully understand who they are and what they want.

Kelly, I don't understand. Why do you think that parents want their children to be TG?

I do think that parents who have TG kids are wanting them to be themselves rather than suppress or cure it. I think the parents are beginning to realize that it cannot be suppressed or cured, and they love their kids enough to overcome their own initial fears and ease their children's transition. Since we do still live in a world that accepts this with uncertainty other than tolerance of media personalities who do transition (and in many pockets of our society it is still not accepted or tolerated even when it is arm's length), I think that many parents try to educate the public and thus promote understanding by starting advocacy groups or talking to the media in the hopes their efforts will create a more welcoming society for their children.

Sorry, but I am not seeing evidence of this. i do think that parents are being more open and honest about their children than their parents were so we are seeing more transgender children coming out, and of course the press will continue to eat this up. The press does not give a fig about anything but making headlines,and unfortunately, the majority of society is still neanderthalistic in their understanding.

I don't understand this thread. There are so many challenges parents of transgender children face. Why would there be a rush? I do admire, however, all parents who do support their children with carte and properly made decision-making..

Well, it would be typical, as a result of the ebb and flow of our now immediate popular culture, especially in the often narrow vision of those of us in the good old US of A. A while back it became hip to black, then hip to be Japanese, then Australian, then lesbian, then gay, then nerdy, etc, so I suppose being transgender is the next cool thing, which I don't think has totally hit at full tilt yet. I do long for the day though when just simple cross dressing is THE thing to do, and goes mainstream (dreaming perhaps). Like I think a mentioned in another thread, transgender currently is higher on the general acceptability chart than cross dressing.
I think that still may be that most people view simple cross dressing as a Fetish, and being trasngender is something more deep seated, and real. And, sometimes I dunno maybe they are right. -Annie's crazy take.

there's a notion, true or not, who knows, of parents getting an advantage for their children through "disability labelling" at school, like it or not, these things have "fashions"; dyslexic, ADHD, autistic, asperger, dyspraxic, dyscalculic, LGBT, ethnic or religious minority, perhaps seeking a different kind of special. I get the drift of the OP, if perhaps wondering whether such a things is really possible or practical. How to know?

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Originally Posted by Alberta_Pat

To me, kids are kids. People who wish to have "trans" kids are just as bad as those who deny "trans" kids.

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I agree 100%

I've added some articles to the OP to clarify some of what i have been reading lately.

No rush but there is much greater awareness, more information and more professional help.

the rise in articles might reflect a change in public awareness, in parents moving from "guilty secrets"/repression/hiding, to coming out - all signs the closet's not needed anymore in many places now. Instead of fashion, this might be the the same thing as raising public awareness of anything charged with "social shame" e.g. people coming out over rape, a still much under-reported crime.

I hope not to sound cynical, Having raised two children (of whom i am immensely proud of as any parent) one thing i learned early is to allow kids a bit of a free hand in their growth. My biggest concern is for parents who try to make kids into something they are not. We have all known the parents who felt their kids were the greatest ______ (fill in the blank) and it turns out they are not physically or mentally or emotionally ready for what the parent wants them to do.

pushy parents shaping their kids' lives - well it happens, school happens too - just as bad potentially. We do have a TG daughter-to-son who told us a few years ago. It's not really publish - he dresses as a male, acts very feminine if you ask me, we just accept him as he is, and his long-term TG F2M partner. You could call it fashionable, or just realise its coming out of the woodwork. We're the anti of pushy, we just support, which also means supporting things like TG, not pushing normality.

I don't think that more children are transgendered, but it is now more likely that transgendered children will be encouraged to be themselves by parents who are better educated in transgendered issues.

Previously parents of transgendered children who sought out advice would often get it from people who knew nothing. They'd go to therapists who had never seen a TG client, to family members or to religious advisors who would give them very bad advice. They'd be told to suppress the child's expression, to punish the child for what they see as "aberrant behavior," or to take the child to quack therapists for the trans version of "conversion therapy."

Now, thanks to people like Jazz, they know that transgendered children exist, that they are not aberrations, and that specialized help is available to them. They are more willing to share their stories with others. This is why we are hearing about more TG children.

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Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter

I hope not to sound cynical, Having raised two children (of whom i am immensely proud of as any parent) one thing i learned early is to allow kids a bit of a free hand in their growth. My biggest concern is for parents who try to make kids into something they are not.

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Studies do show that many children who are gender confused when young, outgrow it.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18981931
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/feb...-kids-20120223
http://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/w...dolescents.pdf

So parents do need to tread lightly without harming the child's sense of self in case the child is truly gender dysphoric. But maybe it's a question of degree. A little boy who wants to wear a princess costume for Halloween and who doesn't otherwise feel distressed over being a boy will not have the same dysphoria patterns as a boy who consistently and determinedly insists that she is a girl. Presumably, parents can and do tell the difference.

I dare say that most parents would prefer their children to not be transsexual, given the difficulties involved with societal acceptance of transition and I cannot see any parent "pushing" their child toward transition. By the time a child starts to take hormone blockers, he or she has likely been seen by a slew of professionals and has unfailingly identified as the opposite sex throughout their young lives. These are the families who get medical help for transition and so they do become part of the statistics that we read about. We don't hear from the parents for whom this was a passing phase.

Ya know it just occurred to me because this current interest in transgender issues, like everything we do at least in the US, is start freaking out and going over the top to be politically correct, or get an overbearing handle over everything. My wife has been a teacher of kindergarden and Pre-school kids for 30 some years, and she has always had that little area in their classroom that was the "dress-up area" where kids could normally do what they do when the are 6 and under - play pretend. She of course had clothes of both of both genders -princess dresses, cooking aprons, army fatigues and boys farmer pants and boots, etc. She mentioned more than once, that all the kids, boys and girls would try and and play in these clothes, just normally exploring who they are. Shoot, even when i was in kindergarden in the '50s, we had that and I can remember more than once boys wearing the frilly aprons, and girls wearing the big boy shirts, it's normal for that age. Now the first time a boy comes home and tells his parents he was wearing an apron or a princess dress, they will think, OMG he is transgender, we need to get him to a therapist right away.
Also as I recall from my wife's classroom , and as far back as my own, kindergarden bathrooms were unisex, and we all went to the bathroom together, girls using the stalls, and boys using urinals or stalls. It was to teach at that age the there was a difference, at least physically.

Interesting stats, significant increase in TG children? Complicated topic for sure but I think it's a number if things: children being more aware of the fact TG is real and may account for their feelings (thanks media and the Internet); parents being more accepting and understanding of TG (thanks media and internet); and the '5 percent' looking for (but not nessessarily wanting maybe in this case) another way to 'show off' to their peers how wonderful and 'in tune' they are?

I have seen documents on kids that are TG. In some of them the parents are understanding. In others not so understanding. There have been a lot of them in the news and when they get older things have cropped up. Who would race to have a child like that. I think that the current political environment is causing a lot of this. It must be better for kids today who are TG. But statistics don't seem to support that and that is because many do not support it.

This all kind of reminds me of a funny story back when I was in High school. All though I had been sneaking around wearing my sisters and mother's clothes for a few years before, the first time I ever became aware of anything remotely like transgender, was in freshman health class. I went to an all boys catholic school and of course this class was taught by this lughead coach and gym teacher, who used to goof on this one kid because becuase he was slightly "softer" in demeanor than the rest of the guys. This coach gave him the nickname in class of Double XX ( as in female chromosomes ).
So he is teaching us about this article he read about how now people can actually go out and have a sex change operation.
Well double XX raises his hand and asks " How much does it Cost?" Which of course got a huge laugh. Poor double XX wasn't interested in that in the least but was just generally curious. Later in life, double XX became a very successful college basketball coach. Life is funny sometimes.

Nice post Annie, I remember high school phys ed myself (oh those days), I was a really clumsy 'jock' for lack of a better term and always teamed up with the underdog (in my case a REALLY sickly but brilliant chap...think Hawking early on) in pairs...I've always known we'll lose the battle...but maybe eventually win the war? 😉

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Originally Posted by AnnieMac

Now the first time a boy comes home and tells his parents he was wearing an apron or a princess dress, they will think, OMG he is transgender, we need to get him to a therapist right away.

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Oh please. Yeah, some, parents will over react, but they are the type that would do that anyway. A generally sensible set of parents will note that, and keep tabs on whether the kid feels the need to do it again, or asks for his own skirt, or her own hard hat construction guy costume.

Girl friends Sister told the story of the nephew seeing his Nan in a dress for the first time"What's that Nan?".......... "A dress" ..... "Can I have one?'

Sister's comment, "Guess we're going dress shopping tomorrow." He forgot about it, and he didn't pursue it later. He's seen me in a skirt several times, hasn't even asked me about it. If had shown interest, they would have let him explore, he didn't so they just let him live his own life.

You would expect the number of referrals to rise as more parents become aware that some kids are, in fact, trans, and what sorts of behaviors to watch for. The implied idea in the OP that parents are forcing their kids to have sex changes to be trendy or whatever seems highly unlikely to me.

And while I can't claim direct knowledge about the UK, the programs for trans kids here in the US that I'm aware of involve gatekeepers. (There's such a program here in Dallas, Children's Medical's Genecis program. I also know a local therapist who works extensively with trans youth, and have talked with them about this.)

Fun fact - programs for trans youth are geared towards reversibly blocking puberty and giving the kids time, therapy, and real life experience to figure out whether they need to medically transition. They are also, as best I can tell, as binary as one could imagine, which isn't surprising given that they are predominantly designed by cis people.

@Kelly DeWinter - do you doubt that there are many trans people who figure out their actual gender identity when they are very young? Also, forcing a cisgender kid to be trans won't work. This has nothing to do with socialization - being trans isn't learned.

There may be something 'fashionable' about it, perhaps as a way to demonstrate how enlightened a parent one is - there's even apparently a term, 'transtrender', for people who aren't trans but think it's 'cool'. Trends aside, I think that parents being open to having bi or transgender kids is generally a good thing - if more people think this way it will make it easier in future for those who are trans and in general will break down gender barriers.

And I agree with PaulaQ - those who are cis will tend to remain cis.

haha . .thats a great word Mayo. Well than I wanna be a Crosstrender!

This is one of the most disturbing discussion threads I have ever seen on this group. The premise that there is some kind of a "rush" on to have a transgender child is absurd! The increase in young kids being seen at gender clinics in the UK and the U.S. and other countries simply reflects the increase in accessible knowledge about transgender issues, and accessibility to proper care for transgender kids and teens.

These improvements in the care of transgender kids should be celebrated, not condemned or criticized.

And the parents who support their transgender children and allow them to live in their affirmed gender are certainly to be respected and admired.

Like it or not, there is an undercurrent of exploitation running throughout the dominant mainstream media outlets for just about everything trans -- reality shows.

It's an unfortunate synchronicity that the era where we are having the first mainstream "transgender moment" is also the era that has seen the extreme polarization of media budgets. These days it's all or nothing ... "game of thrones" mini-movies or "honey boo-boo" shot on a cell phone camera. Take yer pick.

I think that plays into the popular perception that anyone who is trans, or who has trans kids, or who cares about trans issues, must necessarily be just like those trashy bozos on the teevee ... just another wannabe Kardashian.

It's just cultural nearsightedness ... if the last thing you heard about transgender people was something about a reality show, or on the cover of a tabloid, it's too darn tempting to connect dots that aren't there.

So ... I get where it comes from. And I don't doubt that out there somewhere in the world, there's a really frustrated stage parent looking hopefully out the corner of their eye at their son playing with a barbie doll and thinking "yes! Meal ticket!". I don't doubt that for a minute.

However, I seriously doubt there's more than one. Maybe two. In the whole world maybe. What's more, it just can't work if it's not real ... no kid is gonna get cornered into "being trans"by an overzealous parent, when they really arent. I just can't see that happening.

Moreover, I suspect the fear that this might happen stems from internalized transphobia. Being trans is not contagious, ferchissakes. You can't "recruit transgenders" any more than "recruit gays" (hey, remember the 80's -- I heard that one a lot)

I'm thankful we live in an era where it's becoming more acceptable for parents to support their kids in a trans-positive way. It's an amazing thing to see. My grandchildren aren't even going to care about this. They're going to look back on these "controversies" and roll their eyes. I'm looking forward to that (but not to being old, lol)

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Originally Posted by nancigirl

The premise that there is some kind of a "rush" on to have a transgender child is absurd! The increase in young kids being seen at gender clinics in the UK and the U.S. and other countries simply reflects the increase in accessible knowledge about transgender issues, and accessibility to proper care for transgender kids and teens.

These improvements in the care of transgender kids should be celebrated, not condemned or criticized.

And the parents who support their transgender children and allow them to live in their affirmed gender are certainly to be respected and admired.

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Thank you for this, pretty much my attitude.

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Originally Posted by Amy Fakley

Like it or not, there is an undercurrent of exploitation running throughout the dominant mainstream media outlets for just about everything trans -- reality shows.

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That's the problem, watching that garbage. That stuff will rot your brain.

As ridiculous as this premise sounds, there are some pretty unstable people out there, and similar things have actually happened. There is a couple in Canada who were raising their child "genderless" and did not even want to acknowledge their child even had a physical gender at all. I can't fathom anyone doing that other than for attention, or that they feel some sort of need to show the world how extremely politically correct and "open minded" they are, even to the detriment of their child.

There is the more common Munchhausen by proxy syndrome, where people make their own children ill for attention. In this day and age, it really isn't that much of a stretch... sadly... to imagine a parent wanting to inflict some sort of gender dysphoria on their child for some kind of misguided attention. Common, no way, not even close... but is it possible in some isolated cases... sadly yes.

I'm sure a lot of the girls here are saying "My parents were leading the pack".

"why the rush to take a child to a therapist" or for that matter "why the rush to see a therapist if you cross-dress or might be TG"?
why not just accept you/they are having a human experience?

Everyone's looking for a Kaitlyn.

Me all I did when my children were born was to examine the soles of their feet to make sure they were not made in Japan.

Having transgender or racially mixed kids is some kind of trend. As if kids are just some kind of accessory. Good thing we have not found life on other planets or people would be wanting to have God knows WHAT kind of weird offspring because it would be "trendy".
Everybody wants to be unique, special, one-of-a-kind. Remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

This is why I am glad my kid is now grown. Yeah we went through the whole bit where the school was trying to get our kid labeled. Of course said label changed often. ADD or autism or whatever the crap they called it on any given year.

How does it feel for kids though? I mean being told they are messed up (in whatever way) and have to go to therapy and sometimes take pills? Kids mess up. They do dumb things, get bored in school, tempt fate, talk back etc. It is called "Being a kid". Of course every generation likes to say, "We listened to our parents". Yeah right, lets ask your parents.

It is like every generation wants to horrify their kids. I remember in the 80's when we were gonna die of either AIDS or the USSR was gonna nuke us.

Why is it everything i do/am suddenly becomes "trendy"? I'm a nerdy transgender gamer. Growing up, being a nerdy gamer got me social stigma. Now it's "cool" to be a nerd and people who play Farmville call themselves gamers. And if the op is to be believed, suddenly my gender identity is cool? That parents will want to have transgender kids like me?

I don't really want to believe it, but... it used to be a social symbol for celebrities to adopt children from Africa or from an impoverished nation. Now we'll see celebrities adopting trans kids like we're going extinct...

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I know my mom would rather not know I'm gender fluid. It's nothing against me, and she is super supportive. But my gender identity is a real concern for her. It scares her. Statistically speaking, I'm not likely to live past 39 because I'm trans. Violent crime and suicide claim many of us. We face discrimination, hostility, and a whole host of health concerns.

A good parent wouldn't wish that on their kids. But since most of these parents who may or may not actually want a trans child have never had to experience it first hand, they just don't get what it means.

I've given it some thought. What if my future children are transgender like me? What if they're not? How can I impart my life experiences to them in a way that will help them most? All I know is that I want them to have the best life possible, regardless of who they are or what they become. Let's hope that more parents take a similar perspective and see their kids as the people they are rather than the labels they wear.

It sounds like you possibly have an ax to grind or something, or maybe I'm misunderstanding. Anyway, I disagree. No one wants their kid to be transgendered, simply because it complicates the kid's life, a lot. What you're seeing, IMO, is that people are grasping that transgendered kids are more common than has been thought in the past, and are finally coming to grips with the fact that it's okay. Being supportive of transgendered kids is a great thing.

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Originally Posted by nancigirl

This is one of the most disturbing discussion threads I have ever seen on this group. The premise that there is some kind of a "rush" on to have a transgender child is absurd! The increase in young kids being seen at gender clinics in the UK and the U.S. and other countries simply reflects the increase in accessible knowledge about transgender issues, and accessibility to proper care for transgender kids and teens.

These improvements in the care of transgender kids should be celebrated, not condemned or criticized.

And the parents who support their transgender children and allow them to live in their affirmed gender are certainly to be respected and admired.

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Amen!! I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat horrified by many of the responses here.

Carol

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Originally Posted by Julogden

Amen!! I couldn't have said it better. I'm somewhat horrified by many of the responses here.

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People like to give vent to their "opinions" more than taking the time to seriously consider the realities of having children. Likely the people who are off in la-la land about this don't have any kids. They may not even be in long term relationships.

I seem to recall when being gay reached the Tipping Point and suddenly the news was filled with stories of people coming out the was a reactionary movement saying that the newly-out were just looking for attention or trying to be fashionable. Now that transgenderism is gaining traction this just seems to be history replaying. Why not accept a person's own description of their feelings are being more informed than your own? You may know how you feel, but you can't tell others what they feel. Why not trust that parents are acting in good faith and in the best interest of their own children?

Yes, some kids and some parents may briefly go down a wrong path, but it's pretty likely they'll discover that on their own. In the mean time other kids and other parents have a new path open that hadn't been there before -- all of us old folk know what happens when that path is closed; we're on here complaining about it. A Lot.

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Originally Posted by Julogden

It sounds like you possibly have an ax to grind or something, or maybe I'm misunderstanding. Anyway, I disagree. No one wants their kid to be transgendered, simply because it complicates the kid's life, a lot. What you're seeing, IMO, is that people are grasping that transgendered kids are more common than has been thought in the past, and are finally coming to grips with the fact that it's okay. Being supportive of transgendered kids is a great thing

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I assume this was aimed at me. I kinda do and don't have an axe to grind. I am thrilled that it's becoming more mainstream and that transgender kids will be able to grow up in a more accepting, supportive environment.

That's seriously awesome. People are people and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of who they are. That might change based on what they DO, but no one deserves discrimination based on who/what they ARE.

What disturbs me is the OP implying that suddenly parents are rushing out to have a transgender kid because they want to be hip or cool.

Growing up, I encountered a lot of discrimination. Being gender fluid, I didn't feel the dysphoria as often as most transgender kids. In fact, I was happy to be a boy most of the time. Most. But I was different enough that the other kids could pick up on it. Most just assumed I was gay. They bullied me and harrassed me for being something I wasn't. They preyed upon that difference because they didn't understand me. And I didn't understand myself.

When I think about parents wanting to have a trans kid just for the coolness factor, I think back on my own experience growing up, and I get mad that they don't see what growing up trans can mean.

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Thanks katey888

Crikey! If only my parents had realised how truly avant-garde they were, they could have sold their story (and possibly me... :eek:) to the 'Daily Mail' and I could now be absolutely minted rather than wearing charity shop seconds...

On the other hand...

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Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV

As ridiculous as this premise sounds, there are some pretty unstable people out there....

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'Nuff said...

More media hyperbole and codswallop... :bonk:

Katey x

"The Rush is on to have a transgender child."

I think the rush is on to have one's fifteen minutes of fame and if you can have it by suing the school board to let your son use the girl's restroom, some people are poor enough parents to do it.

No license or training is required to become a parent and it often shows in the children. Anyone who would encourage a child to be something that he or she is not or doesn't try to help them to understand what they are is a terrible parent. From what I've read, living life as a transgendered person is no cake walk.

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Originally Posted by Krisi

...I think the rush is on to have one's fifteen minutes of fame and if you can have it by suing the school board to let your son use the girl's restroom, some people are poor enough parents to do it....

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I disagree, for the simple fact that the "fame" outcome is far from assured. In most cases, the school administration would know Title IX and simply comply with the request, which results in no fame at all. The only cases that hit the news are the result of outsiders who want to deny the student's right to exist and who are willing to fight a battle they will ultimately lose to make their point. These are the true seekers of fame.

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Originally Posted by Saikotsu

I assume this was aimed at me.

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No, it was a response to the OP. My view is essentially the same as yours.

Ah, okay. Since your reply came right after mine, I wasn't sure.

When all of the dust settles and the "nonsense" recedes I just hope that we can enter an age of greater tolerance and true understanding of cross dressing and transgenderism.

i feel like the backlash is coming in a BIG way!

beware the back lash!

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Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter

The rush seems to be on to be the first on the block to be parents of a transgender child. Is this the result of media exposure of "Being Transgender" ?

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I don't think that there are a lot of parents who are looking to label their kid as transgender just because it might seem a 'hip' thing to do. Rather, it's becoming more acceptable, and, the information about how difficult the child may find his/her life, lots of parents will want to help. I know that the scary statistic '40% of tg kids will attempt suicide at some point' will get notice. So does the 'Would you rather have a dead son or a live daughter?' (or vice versa). That one HAS to strike a nerve even in the most homophobic of parents. The Leelah Alcorn suicide news was pretty much covered nation wide; I'm sure it started discussions in lots of homes with TG kids.

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Originally Posted by Saikotsu

A good parent wouldn't wish that on their kids.

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But we must realize that not all parents are good. There are plenty of people who grow up, get married, and have children just because they grew up believing that was the only acceptable thing to do. My own mother treated her children like accessories and servants rather than like children. Whenever I did anything incorrect in public, it was almost always addressed in such a way so as to make me feel guilty about how my behavior reflected on her, how other people would judge HER. It was never about us kids. When I was growing up, she openly told me that the reason why people had children was simply so that they had someone to take care of them when they got old.

Yeah, I kinda regret how I said that...I'm sorry your mom had the attitude.

Even a bad, self-centered parent would have a hard time hanging a transgender label on a child that didn't want it. Parents may push their children to do many things, but be TG? There isn't all that many perks that go with that. Say your kid is autistic and they might get special attention at school, extra equipment, more liberal testing rules, etc. Say your child is TG and what do they get? Expanded bathroom opportunities and a possibility of the local fundie church picketing outside your home.