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I was reading another thread about purging and I am curious about those who started back. When you decided to dress again did you start with one or two items, panties or pantyhose for instance or maybe some makeup and just kept adding over time or was it a leap into the deep end total pink fog wild shopping experience and full dressing and makeup?
I purged after my first wife asked for a divorce. I stopped dressing for 10 years. When I started again, it was very slowly. stocking and panties, then added a garter belt, then a few more pairs of panties. It was almost a year until I bought a wig and breast forms, but from there, BOOM, I had a full wardrobe and makeup in a couple of weeks. For me it was once I could see "Laura" through my male facade I fell in love with her again. I've promised myself to never purge again. Lets hope I never have to.
I've always been reasonable about spending for girly stuff. As my income varied over the years, so did my transformation budget. I started again after a purge with what interested me, or compelled me, the most. Some may find it strange that dresses, skirts, tops, and lingerie were not at the top of the list. Instead, it was high heels, makeup, wig, fake nails, eyelashes, and pantyhose. After those, the clothing.
I've recently bounced back from a purge, it's definitely not recommended. I've jumped back in with both stilettos and planning some time out, the only thing, I think I'm now missing, are breast forms x
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ress-and-heels
It would always begin with stockings, usually a pair of pantyhose. Then of course I would need a bra, then a skirt, then heels and a top. Then a bigger box and better hiding place.
Thank God those days are over.
After decades of hiding and a number of purges I finally came out to my wife and she is fully accepting. Now everything is where it belongs, in my closet (where I used to be) or in the dresser. No more hiding, no more purging.
After my first wife and I where divorced, yes most of my clothes where thrown out
not by me, but the EX when I was not home.
It took me about 2 years to get back into dressing. I started with some girdles,
long line bra's then to pantie hose, and panties. I must admit it was about 5 years
before I bought a skirt and a top.
Now, the sky is the limit, and my closets are full
Rader
It would always start off slow and with smaller items like bra, panties, panty hose, but after a few weeks the bigger more expensive things would follow (dresses,heels, etc).
Basically I would try to replace all the items I purged as fast as I could. Not the best plan.
I always seem to have a chicken or the egg challenge. Years ago I was comfortable underdressing now I find that unless I am dressing fully with makeup and wig it doesn't seem to be enough. Big deep dive.
Simply reach to the deeper recess of my closet and got the things from where I put them. I was not all-knowing and I'm not trying to brag. I was fortunate enough to have heard of purging before doing anything rash. perhaps the hoarder in me just couldn't throw anything away. what I am pointing out here is something many of us know. in the beginning there were times we don't want to dress anymore . we're confused. Want it to go away. so when those moments came along I pushed genifer further out of sight. Then, when the inevitable happened it wasn't too far to reach back and get her.
only one purge, and the result was to spend hundreds of times more - mothball but don't purge unless you're ready to spend a lot
Panties were always the easiest to procure. I started catalog buying back in the early seventies. So panties, a bra. An all in one control briefer/corset/girdle whatever you'd call it; Playtex made several with a panty bottom and a zip up the front for decades, which whittled down my figure a bit, it also had garters for stockings (unfortunately, no one makes this anymore, the closest aren't even close to being as shaping as the Playtex design was, nor as comfortable). I'd look for a camisole and tap pants. Pantyhose. A full slip. Then a maid's or nurses dress. Only for the past 10 or so years have I been able to find girl shoes that fit giant feet.
I'm just re-emerging from a purge (I had loads of stuff) and long lay off (four years or so) mainly due to the fact that my wife and me adopted a little boy. It's going to be a while before it's feasible to dress I think, though you never know. I'm considering starting with a couple of outfits, one or two pairs of shoes and a small amount of makeup for one look (plus purloin my wife's if need be and a wig, but that would have to be one that really suits me.
Interesting reading I have never purged and often wondered why someone does that and what drives them to return.
I would start with the basic bra and panty work from there.
I must've purged 2 - 3 times, and I've really regretted it. My last recovery from a purge was started out with undergarments, panties, bra, cami, tights, full slip, and one piece swimsuit. After I came out to my wife, it really ballooned, now I have a whole wardrobe of separates.
My recovery from the 2-3 purges that I have done always started with a pair of pantyhose and some cute heels. while they felt great to wear again they just weren't ever enough. Slowly but surely it was one skirt, one top, one dress then it kind of just jumped from there. I never went full fog though and just went to a mall or store and dropped $5000 on a new wardrobe but it's amazing how one piece at a time adds up.
Now I would never purge again, I am glad to be past that silly notion. Sure you can get rid of everything and go about the silly notion that your "normal" but what exactly is normal anyways and it never ;lasts that long. I can imagine the small fortune I lost everytime I purged just to start again no matter how hard I tried not to. believe me, it's not worth it to purge, this never stops.
The only purging I have done is to get rid of things that do not fit, do not look good things out of style etc. Also old makeup gets tossed.
Outside of a couple times where there was outside influence, Ive never just purged any items on my own accord. I have put things up for long periods.
Yes, that's foreign to my experience also. Generally it would seem to be one of two things:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
- Out of sight, out of mind. The translation would be that if the means were eliminated, the urge would go away, or at least it would be easier to manage.
- Doing it for someone else in order to keep a relationship together.
However, from what I've read here, when the notion comes back it is often stronger than it was previously. That seems to surprise a lot of people.
My guess is that all purging does is put a Band-Aid on the wound and sooner or later it is going to fall off. I think it comes back because those feelings and desires eventually demand to be satisfied. They can only be put off for so long and evidently there's no way around it.
DeeAnn
I purged to pacify my wife. I returned for the same reasons that I (and many others, if one believes the posts on this website) entered originally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
I have only purged once. I am too much of a cheap a** to try that again.
My 'purge' was over 20 years ago, I think the pink fog built up in a pressure vessel and about 18 months ago a welded seam failed and BOOM! It was fall and http://www.moncler.com finally started shipping to Canada, bought three Moncler puffer jackets (some women like shoes, some women like warm, comfy, super sexy puffer jackets ☺ ). Next stop, the local wig shop for a new doo, at the advice of the stylist a trip to MAC (let's just say...the SA said "OH, I WON'T forget you!" I'm sure I made her commission for the month 😉 Next stop, Long Tall Sally...a few tops, jeans, boots 😀...need a purse...yay there's a MK shoppe in this mall.
Yah, I totally jumped into the deep end with both feet!! 😄
I have purged thrice. The first time was in the mid-1990's, within two years of the time I started CD'ing, and the last was in 2007. The second time was somewhere in the middle. Each time I purged it was after some traumatic event in my life which had nothing to do with CD'ing.
On each occasion it took me about 3-4-5 months to realize that, like Popeye the Sailor Man, "I yam what I yam." I always restarted by buying a couple moderately expensive artificial wigs, and a good set of makeup, foundation, powder, mascara, eyeliner, et cetera, since my primary motivation in CD'ing has been to be as pretty as the limitations of nature permit me to be.
I suspect that each purge cost me in the low/mid hundreds of dollars just in start-up costs on the new beginning, and a lot more than that in value of the stuff that was thrown away.
I regret all the purging, of course, but in particular I fondly remember a couple of wigs for which I have never been able to find adequate replacements, and a pair of CFM Red Pleaser strappy pumps.
I have purged too many times to remember, sometimes at my own initiative or sometimes forced. As I have gotten older, I have learned to count to 10 whenever I wanted too purge again. This has helped reduce guilt when present and saved a lot of money. Just putting my clothes and other items away for a while seems to have helped prevent purging.
Have purged a couple times, although never as result of SO. In both cases thought I was "over" it. Now realize there is no "over" it for me, but just some cycles of activity. No more purge, storage would be the option if my dressing declined in the future. Both purge times started back with slow buying, and at some point there was a flurry of buying to rebuild the wardrobe once I mentally accepted it was going to be full fledged again. Another factor, as buying has gotten easier over years with internet purchasing and new and cheaper things like breast forms became more prevalent, the buying got more intensive.
I purged once when my girl friend was about to move in. At the time it was just lingerie and foundations. I was so scared she would find out about my panty fetish, she might think I was a freak. I hadn't started fully dressing and didn't concider myself a crossdresser yet and thought I could suppress my desires by waking up next to a woman every day. The relationship ended and I started replacing everything I purged.
10 years ago, when I started a new relationship with my current wife, I decided it would be best if she knew of my secrect before it was too late. She has been supportive but is Luke warm to the idea of me crossdressing. She doesn't like that my 6'-4" legs look better in stockings than hers. We are married now and I have full wardrobe of foundations, stockings, heels & dresses.
Very interesting ladies thanks for sharing your reasons.
last time i purged...or should i say my LAST purge when i finally realized I should embrace and accept my crossdressing/gender issue...i decided to do it right. I knew I was rusty and had to get my makeup game back up, i also had about 40 pounds of depression fat to get rid of, so what i did was set 2 goals first.
1.lose the 40 pounds
2. get better at makeup.
So for THREE MONTHS I re- learned my makeup, JUST practiced my makeup, I worked from the neck up, i never dressed because I knew from the neck down i still had 40 pounds to lose so....i used my time wisely and just did makeup for my first 3 months, and never dressed because i knew i would get dissapointed cause of my weight. The whole time i practiced makeup, i excersized, and dieted, and LOST the weight...then after those first 3 months of working on the makeup, the body, and my mind...i finally put on the clothes...i did it this way because at this point i had realized that it wasnt so much about the clothes, as much as it was about how i felt inside, so i wanted to make the outside match the inside and figured before i put the clothes on, i better get my body back, and get my makeup skills up first...cause i knew the clothes were just clothes..and if i could run 6 miles everyday and diet that this must be something i really really wanted.
Laura, over the past 35 years I have purged so many times I can't even count, at this time in my life I buy my clothes and sexy underthings for my own pleasure and keep them in a private place.I feel sexy and stimulated when I'am dressed. From your picture you look beautiful don't quit , very sexy!DevoneQuote:
Originally Posted by Laura.Taylor
Tracii, I know that guilt and shame, cause it. Religious guilt, and societal guilt, or family guilt. " Men don't wear women's clothes." "Are you a man or woman." "Gay?" It is self loathing , guilt and shame.
I have purged more times than I care to remember, I usually started out with all the basic essentials to put together 1 outfit and present , so bra panties , jeans a top , pair of heels , make up essentials.
A second shopping trip would yield maybe some more finishing touches
Press on nails jewelry , a purse. May be a skirt and another top , then a 3rd trip maybe a corset stockings ect , a few more shades of lipstick. Then before I knew it my empty bidding place was overflowing once again
The last time I purged was over twenty years ago. Had two kids in high school we were getting ready to move and trying to find a way to pare down our belongings so we could get everything on the truck. I had been able to dress for a long time anyway and at that point in time I wasn't sure I ever would again anyway so it just seemed like I didn't need what I had so I put a lot of it on the yard sale and some it we took to good will.
When I started back it was slowly, while my wife new about it she was then and still is back and forth on the acceptance part of it, the first thing I got was panties and then a nightgown and then more panties and a bra. The one day I was on ebay and found this little black dress and I had to have it and it was only $4. I have a few times went into the "pink fog" and bought a whole bunch of things at once.
Since the last purge I don't really purge I have packed things up and left them for periods of time but it's way to expensive to replace it all.
Good point. Clothes are the reflection of what we feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti
DeeAnn
I just had my latest, ( and biggest) early this January . Part of it was from watching "The Danish Girl", which I actually found to be very disillusioning and depressing. However, about three weeks ago, I found a spare pair of pantyhose I had stashed... Now I am back at it more intensely than ever. My wardrobe is a small fraction of what it used to be, but I have had my first makeup lesson at Sephora, and got the courage to go to a few bars for drinks, ( only a few asked for ID, and it was a total non-event.) I don't really miss the clothes and makeup I tossed, since buying new stuff is most of the fun for me. I do regret destroying my USB with 3 years of photos, though - so many memories...
I love the idea of practicing makeup to get back into the swing. Good way to find my look and I love the transformation process the most
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti
I am still recovering. I am slowly getting clothing, mostly from Goodwill; wigs and makeup are next. And rejoining online groups (URNA, Flickr, crossdressers.com) is part of it, too. Baby steps still.
Kris
K:
What you said is a perfect match for the phrase: "It is a journey...".
DeeAnn
I have purged perhaps twice, regretted it and came back. I'll probably never purge again. What a complete waste of time!
Never tossed it all away, ever.
I did come back gradually tho only time I did it.
Purged once only to have my wife find me depressed and listless . After WE spent hundreds of dollars replacing slips, skirts, bras, & etc., if or when my purge urge hits she yells stop. Her cure for my "problem" is a little retail therapy at the nearest lingerie counter.
If have purged twice in the last 2 years because of health issues. I don't want someone finding my private stash if something were to happen to me. However, the fun of starting over is.....starting over. :)
That's the problem with obsessions, they become bottomless pits, impossible to fill. It's hard to stick to a budget or create boundaries...Quote:
Originally Posted by tifftg
Admit it was a mistake and swear never to do it again.