I did it!! Totally Marina for 5 days!!
I had planned to have several days as Marina, but I wanted to be feminine the entire time. To make sure I didn't chicken out, I had decided to do a few things to leave me no choice but stay as Marina for days at a time. My kids being older, and my wife out of the country with a small group of friends, I had the opportunity to be alone at home for a week last month. My wife left on a Wednesday, and I was to meet her at the cottage the following Tuesday. I had unavoidable business in town on the Thursday, so my not going on the trip with her was natural. She knows about my dressing, for several years, but it's more of a DADT thing.
I wanted to get a full set of acrylic nails done on the first evening, and get a full set of glued on eyelash extensions, as well. Those would cost me a small investment, and would take hours to remove. I wouldn't remove them easily. There would be no way I could leave the house without being totally en femme to explain my nails, and no way I could even hang around inside, without constantly seeing my nails, or feeling my eyelashes. Here's how it went:
Wednesday night: My wife had left with her friends. After work, I went to a local beauty supply store and told the sales staff I had been given a list of things by my daughter at camp;did she have artificial toenails, and a brunette clip-on pony tail? yes, she did. I went home and applied the pink, french manicure toenails with superglue. WOW!!! My toes looked really girly! I had never though of wearing peep-toe shoes, or sandals because my guy-mode toenails are awful. But the pink, understated nails made my foot look smooth and dainty. I HIGHLY recommend trying them. Went home, and prepared for the next day. I had called DREAM TIPS AND BEAUTY in Toronto, and said I was a CD wanting a full set of acrylic nails, and permanent eyelash extensions, and could they accommodate? Yes, they could. I called and re-confirmed my reservation for 6:30 Thursday. Tried on some outfits that night - the problem was the unbelievable heat. My legs are relatively hairless, but not enough for shorts or a skirt, and my wife does not favour my shaving them. So how to be at least marginally passable at 32 degrees (90) in pants? I decided on white Old Navy super skinny jeans, underneath I wore my Dresstech hip pads, and butt pads. I wore a pair of sheer hose underneath, with the feet cut off, to hold the pads in place. No panty-lines, amazing full hips, very feminine. My waist is not thin, and no way I could wear a corset in such heat, so I went with the untucked T-shirt, in a mid-tone oatmeal. It draped well over my breasts, revealed a bit of cleavage, but hid my masculine midsection. Perfect! A simple Roots over shoulder bag, and a pair of white Keds, and I was ready. Slept in my breast forms and a sheer nightie, and must have looked at my perfect, girlie toes a million times.
THURSDAY: Went to the meeting underdressed - just panties, but also tucked, so I would be peeing sitting down for the next few days. Finished the meeting, and went out to the car to get out of my guy clothes, and get pretty. I stripped down in the backseat, and with some difficulty, arranged my Dresstech hip pads, snugged up my jeans, and put on my bra, and T-shirt. I checked my handbag for makeup essentials, money, etc., and then applied a light foundation, powder, lip liner and a pale, coral lipstick. Nothing outlandish, totally under the radar. With a half hour to go, I left the car (like getting out of a spaceship! - first few steps I'm expecting to be clocked - but people are hot, and on their way somewhere). I swished up Yonge street, past the beauty Salon. Full of women. Darn, I had hoped for a bit more privacy. I practiced my femme-voice as I walked up the street. Not high, but clear and thinner, slow and well-enunciated. I had gotten not bad at simple things like "Hi, I'm Marina", "No, thanks", etc. I walked into a Payless store, and tried on sandals, showing my toenails to the several women also there in the aisle. No reaction - even when we're a foot away, and I say "Sorry" as we almost bump. My toes look AMAZING in a pair of espadrilles !
I head to the Beauty Shop and pause, before barging in. All Asian staff, with a thick accent, and so I have to say "I'm Marina - I have a 6:30 appointment" about 3 times. Then I have to say that I'm here for a full set of nails, and permanent eyelash extensions. If anyone has clocked me, I guess I'm looking a bit ridiculous. But no one lifts a head as I walk to the back of the shop and follow a young girl upstairs. I have to wait while she finished someone else lashes in the next, open adjoining room. I wait, and I start to seriously sweat. I fan my cleavage, cautiously wipe under my wig. Damn light coloured T-shirts! Eventually I cool down. She comes in and I'm asked to remove my shoes and lie face up on the padded table. OOOooh! She and I can see my toes! The eyelash extensions are individual mink hairs, and you can choose something like 70, 150, or 200 individual lashes glued per eye. You can also choose a lash length (12, 13, 15) and you can pay a bit more for lashes with a pronounced curl. I chose 150 lashes per eye, mid length, no curl. She placed some tape below each eye, had me close both eyes and keep them shut. Then, for about 30 minutes, she glued lashes one-by-one using superglue. I had read that normally, these lashes fall out as the natural lashes fall out, and need a touch-up every 3 weeks or so. I was getting a full set, and they would be staying on until I carefully and laboriously removed them several days from now. After the lashes were dry, I opened my eyes. My eyes looked like a had applied perfect mascara. Understated, but no one could mistake those eyes for a man's. For the time being, my face was female.
Then, we went downstairs for the nails. I was nervous because the shop was crowded. But people were hot and occupied, and when first glancing at me, my body silhouette was obviously female; tight white jeans, wide hips, purse, short feminine hair. I sat down, and then the questions started. Round tips, or square? (square) - how long? (real housewives long, but not ****ty or drag). What color? (I chose a lighter pink, with a hint of light brown - very natural). The tips were applied, glued on, and then the nails were built up using acrylic powder and liquid resin. Long, thick nails sprouted on my fingers, sanded and shaped. Like my toes, they looked simple, dainty, and inescapably girly. I guess looking only at my nails had the same effect on the nail tech (who knew I was CD), because she instructed her co-worker to 'take HER to the drying station'. I sat with my nails under the dryer, unable to move, to shrink away from what I thought must be the gaze of all the GG's in the salon. A woman was seated next to me at the dryer, but she ignored me, totally. Nail varnish was applied twice in the process resulting in a mirror-like finish to my new, long, beautiful nails. They elongated my fingers, made them look delicate, pink, and feminine. The biggest difference was that they weren't stuck on; they WERE my nails. And they were staying there for a good long time, whether I wanted them off, or not. I paid, and left the shop looking and feeling like an average, late 40's female. I began to notice that no one - I mean no one, gave me a second look. I lifted my head, looked people straight in the eye as I passed; smiled, re-hitched my purse on my shoulder, and LOVED IT!! Drove home on cloud-9.
FRIDAY: I had been told to purchase some birthday presents for my kids, whose birthdays were in the next 10 days, as my wife would be out of the country , -so it was me. Which meant going out for a full day of shopping, as Marina. NO choice. In the shower I protected my new eyelashes from the stream, and looked at my toenails and fingernails from about a thousand angles. I selected the same outfit as the previous night, similar T-shirt (this one was a bit thinner and I thought I could get a contour of my nipples from certain angles, but I decided I was overthinking it. My breasts looked smooth and my cleavage just hinted at). I wore silver hoop earrings, a few rings and a pink-gold fake Michael Kors watch. Light foundation, eyeliner, no mascara. Pinky-coral lipstick. Lastly, sandals that show off my feet and manicured toenails. Out to the Shopping Centre. I shopped all day, for the kids, and for me. I didn't talk much, usually just a "yes" or "no, thanks", but I always punctuated it with a wide, slightly self-conscious smile, slightly scrunching my face. No weird reactions, at all!! I browsed areas of shops I had always been nervous in, like the lingerie section, or the shoe section of bigger department stores. I was previously worried about being clocked in the lingerie section, or something. This time, I had sales staff approach me, other women browsing the same rack as me, jockeying for position with them, and not a single second look. In the shoe section, I tried on everything - including some towering heels. Usually my height (5'10") makes me nervous about being in heels, but no one seemed interested. I felt totally normal, totally relaxed, totally free, and totally girly.
My 'crisis' moment was in the Ladies restroom at the Shopping Centre, when 2 teenage girls entered as I was in the stall, waiting for them to leave - but they were having a long conversation while one was busy. I figured if they thought a male had been lurking in the Bathroom, it would be trouble, and I was nervous. But after a few minutes, I left the stall, just as they left their stall and prepared to leave. We almost bumped, exchanged looks, I made my way over to wash my hands, dry them, and they just kept talking. If I got no reaction from THEM, I must be Golden. I had a wonderful day and then went out shopping for food. Watched a movie at home, staring at my toes peeking out of my harem pants, and at my long pink nails on my lap.
SATURDAY: Really hot. Didn't really feel like spending the time to dress up, after the high of yesterday, but I couldn't very well leave the house with those nails, and lashes. Plus, I felt more confident than I ever have, presenting as Marina. I decided I would spend the evening out, in heels. I decided to give myself a bit of a safety factor, so I drove in to Toronto and bought a pair of 3" tan-coloured pumps (I dithered for about an hour (and tried on lots of other pairs! ;) deciding on peep-toe vs pump, since I loved my toes) but decided that the pumps were a bit sexier. Again, White super-skinny jeans, gauzy blouse, pink bra, silver jewelry and tan pumps. Then I went to a Drag show at 'Tangoes and Crews', in the Gay Village. I was one of many women, predominantly GGs, and I was happily unsure of whether the women thought I was CD, or GG. Then I strolled the cool night air until my feet were killing me!! The first high of seeing myself with feminine features like long eyelashes, manicured pink toenails and long, natural fingernails was superseded by the second high of apparently TOTALLY passing the day before, albeit by dressing down and wearing flats. Tonight, I was apparently succeeding at slightly sexy. Clicking down the street and looking down at my skinny jeans and pumps tracing a straight line, while feeling my hips sway, my earrings brush my neck, and my breasts bounce a bit in my bra. And no one on the crowded street thinks this is in any way unusual. I look, they look back. I smile, they smile back. My name is Marina. :)
SUNDAY: Went for a quick jog in a park, wearing some Capri tights, Dresstech pads, sports bra, and a short bob wig, clipped on ponytail, and wearing a running hat. Almost no makeup, but close shaved. Damn, those eyelashes just make my face look like a woman! A little lip gloss only. Met several people, all received my smile, no backward looks. Went out into the cooler, busier Shopping Centre (different one) and got the same reactions I'd had all weekend - none. Went home and tried on LOTS of outfits, feeling more feminine than I ever had in my life.
MONDAY: Time to say goodbye to Marina. Removing Acrylic nails is hard, but here's what I learned - the acrylic is thick, and literally bonded to your nail. You can sand off the top few millimetres, and when the nail is considerably thinner, then try dissolving the remainder with Acetone. Make sure the nail polish remover contains acetone, and I would recommend the 100% acetone that is used in salons. Trying to dissolve my nails in just acetone would have taken about 6 hours. It may help to place the dish of acetone in a second dish of hot water, to heat it . (It goes without saying that you don't heat acetone, but there, silly me, I just said it!). Getting down to your real nails without sanding through them is a delicate matter, so plan several hours for this. Removing the eyelashes was also difficult, as I had intended. The 'steam your face for 15 minutes and try wiping off with olive oil' did almost nothing. :( I ultimately put some tape below my eye, pulled my eyelid well down over my lower lid, and applied acetone (it dissolves superglue) by dabbing a Qtip on the top of my lashes. It needs to be on for about 10 minutes, then the lashes can be wiped or gently pulled out. My toenails popped off fairly easily, and I used an emory board to remove the last of the glue. Whew!! Back to guy-mode.
I apologize for the length of the post, and congratulations for getting through it. I wanted to crow a bit about my new confidences, and give an explanation for those girls interested in the nails, or the eyelash extensions. Also, I wanted to write it down so I never, never, ever forget how feminine and natural and accepted I felt as Marina. Cheers, MK:)
