Girl Craft

I was donning a blouse the other day, fumbling with the Left Hand button pattern normal on women's garments. Cursing myself a little for awkwardness and slow learning curve. When my ears were first pierced, I found it 'difficult' to change earrings, insert them and put on clips, etc.

There is so much about CD Life that is like this, I'm discovering. GIRL CRAFT, I call it; those necessary life skills that girls learned from a young age that I now (as a man) never picked up until now, and didn't have a corresponding female mentor.
Things like putting on a bra or dress. Painting makeup. Nail polish. DRESSING, itself! Hair dressing for long hair. AND (the big one).... Mirror Skills; learning how to do motions in a reverse image. Little things too that "guys" would never dream of, but are an important part of girl culture.

Wondering if there are other GIRLCRAFT skills out there I'm not using or seeing.
AND.... How are YOUR GirlCraft skills? How long did it take to master (or mistress?) them. Did you find it always awkward? Was there a point at which it became second nature, or you became a CD Jedi?

The left handed buttons date from the time when the (wealthy) women had servants to help them dress.

Left handed buttons don't really bother me but most of my blouses don't have buttons. Other skills, I have pretty well mastered except eye makeup because I seldom wear it. None of it seems that difficult to me, after all, women do these things every day.

I also heard the left hand buttons were so the boys couldn't see in the girls shirt when they walked hand in hand. Girl on the left

Dressing I found relatively easy, only bras and stockings took some getting used to. It was make up I found the trickiest, but as I paint I have a steady hand and a good eye for colour. In pre-internet days you pretty much had to learn everything by yourself, trial and error mostly (more error in my case!) but all part of the fun. Even after 30 plus years I'm still not happy applying nail polish, everything else is now second nature.

It is best to see how real females do it! I had trouble with my bra until I remembered how my wife put her's on! Left buttons are just an inconvenience. Remember slow and steady wins the race. (only thing is I am not so steady anymore, slow I have down!) My mirror skills never developed. I never could back up a tractor and trailer! Just my$.02! Hugs Lana Mae

makeup is terrible for me. I just can't hold my hand still, and then I can't judge how it looks once applied. I love putting polish on my nails, top and bottom, but don't do the hands much since I can't keep it on long. I have to try the glue on nails, I already have them painted and ready to go.

I had a horrible time learning to put in a barrette. Too far left, too far right, too low, etc. I'd get it all done and then see that I had failed to include a long hank of hair from one side of my head or from the bottom. I was shocked how complex such a simple thing was. And side-combs -- forget it. I had to go to YouTube to find out how to put in a side comb. D'oh! Even a pony tail is a challenge if you didn't learn how to do it when you were a 12 year-old girl.

Putting in curlers or using a curling iron on the back of my head, anything really that involves the back looking in a mirror. And trying to fasten those darn miniscule clasps with my nails on.

Barbara please use a coat of clear before gluing on your nails, it will help peal them off with minimum damage to your real nails, acetone can damage or weaken nails.

Practice, practice, practice...........

Without really realizing it, going out over a hundred times this year, many of the girl craft things have become second nature.

My biggest issues remain with hiding the boy things, the close shave, the full body shaves, etc....

I had my ears done 5 years still have trouble sometime getting the backs on Bras are easy hook them step in and pull them up lip stick I got eye make up not to bad the rest still learning my hair is long and wavy I just brush it and it does what it wants or I have my sons girl friend do it for me she's a hair dresser

And then comes the day when you're struggling with your male dress shirt because the buttons on the wrong side ...

Or when you're trying to blow your nose without mussing your makeup, and you realize you're in male mode and not wearing makeup ...

Both have happened to me.

Great post! Eyeliner is my nemesis. My wife and I both need reading glasses but she has been doing it so long, she could probably apply it perfectly in the dark. I envy these teenage girls who have perfect application and here I am starting in my 50's with poor eyesight. I know practice makes perfect but its hard to practice with little time to dress.

Thx

Eva D.

My biggest issues include false eyelashes..I can't get the idea of putting them on looking in a mirror with the image reversed and Putting panty hose on when I have my nails done.

Lauren

I learned to put on a bra from my mother. Put them on backwards and then turn it around and pull it up. Sisters too. A girlfriend taught me straps on and then hook the back. Bend over and position your breasts. That is also the way my wife does it.

As for clothes, I've worn girls/women's clothes for so long I don't think about it. Today women's clothes can button left or right. I have a couple blouses that button right. I've had jeans that zip left. A couple pairs of jeans don't have front pockets. Drives me crazy because I stick my keys in my front pocket. Forgot one: pulling up the zipper on a dress that fits tight. Once upon a time I could touch my hands behind my back one over the shoulder and the other reaching up. Not sure I could do it today.

Hardest thing to learn was when wearing a skirt or dress crossing your legs. When I was young hems were lower and most girls just crossed their feet. When shorter skirts became the standard you needed to cross your legs above the knees.

I'm very new to crossdressing, so I have trouble with quite a few things.

Number one is painting my nails. I've never had steady hands or artistic ability, so by the time I'm done, my hands look like I just slaughtered a chicken. I go through a lot of nail polish remover cleaning up the tips of my fingers, the sides, and my palms. Yes, my palms.

Number two is eyeliner. This isn't just a matter of not having experience, it's moreso because I have a terrible fear of anything touching my eye. I've never even used eyedrops before because I'm so scared. Eyeshadow isn't so bad, because that's on the lid, but the idea of having to get a pointed object that close to my open eye...eek! I just can't do it!

Third would be learning how the wide variety of types of clothing are supposed to be worn. Guys clothes are easy; shirts you put them on and, if they have buttons, button them. Pants, one leg in each and zip 'em up. Women have so many options and layers and they're all worn differently. I spent 10 minutes in a dressing room last week trying to figure out how high a skirt is supposed to be worn. At the hip? Just bellow your bellybutton? Just above your bellybutton? Don't even get me started on the confusion I had putting on a romper. "Oooh, so you can step into a dress! You don't just pull it over your head like a t-shirt!" :doh:

Oh Allisa!
You nailed a big one I forgot completely. (Female) hair craft.
Have you ever tried to use a hot curling iron? and forget about curlers. If the plethora or make up and skin care products are daunting enough, consider everything that goes into preening a fine head of natural hair (girl length). BTW, I had very long hair in my misspent youth and would die to have it today. (sigh).
Great response post.

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Originally Posted by Allisa

Putting in curlers or using a curling iron on the back of my head, anything really that involves the back looking in a mirror. And trying to fasten those darn miniscule clasps with my nails on.

Barbara please use a coat of clear before gluing on your nails, it will help peal them off with minimum damage to your real nails, acetone can damage or weaken nails.

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Ilene,
It's funny how quickly you get use to the change of sides on buttons, it's like a Brit visiting the US and driving on the other side of the road, you get use to it very quickly, the problem is arriving back home and flipping back again. That analogy applies to all fastenings and straps , I often tie my my male dressing gown on the wrong side and glance at male shirts to find the buttons.

Considering tricky girl craft jobs , the difficult one is shaving your own back, but then that's a great exercise for doing your own back zip up !

I too struggled with bras until my exgirlfriend showed me that it's way easier if you hook it up in front of your, turn around and pull up. Now I struggle with three things:

#1 Attaching stockings to a garter belt behind my back.
#2 Zipping a dress all by myself. Although I can reach behind and do it with some difficulty, it usually takes longer than it should. I was thinking of some kind of hook or pin to fasten to a stick or something, but I have yet to try it out.
#3 I never seem to properly put on tights with a seam or pattern that is supposed to be in a certain way

I am at my best applying nail polish, and at my worst applying eye shadow. Everything else falls in between those.

Ilene,

I have almost the same problems. The buttons drive me crazy and I try to avoid garments with buttons "on the wrong side." But my big bugaboo is mascara. How can one put on mascara when one can't see your eyelashes? I am sure my wife would probably fall over laughing if she watched me doing that. Doing it under glasses often results in more on the glasses than on the eyelashes. Maybe a magnifying mirror? Problem with that is finding a concave mirror that doesn't make your face distorted like one of the warped circus mirrors. That's even worse than trying to put mascara on the invisible.

Bras and other things aren't too much of a problem and my wig is a short one so it is fairly easy to style. I would like to get a longer one but I am afraid it would end up looking more like Spanish Moss hanging from a tree in a Louisiana bayou. Regarding the buttons, because they are reversed from men's shirt buttons maybe doing the buttons while looking in the mirror would help because in the mirror they are now on the correct side? Hmm, have to try that.

It appears to be clear from other responses that the key is practice, practice, practice. I remember as a small boy learning how to do my shirt buttons and being very frustrated with the blasted things. It is just not a natural motion like the ones we are born with. But there is another thing. Females tend to be born with a higher flexibility and dexterity than males. It is easier for them to do the graceful motions that a female ballerina can do but males have extreme difficulty with. My aunt and uncle were both ballet dancers and now teach ballet at a major university and do a little, less demanding performing (now in their 60's). I asked them about that and they said that there is a big difference between men and women when it comes to highly coordinated motions. My uncle can be graceful, but not even close to my aunt and they have both been dancing for about 50 years. But with practice we can do nearly as well as women when it comes to makeup, dressing, etc. Hmmm, more practice? Yes, that would be doable and fun.

Gretchen

For me at this point i still find; left eye mascara/liner/shadow, putting outfits together that really work well together, accessorizing and what shoes go with what. I avoid the nail polish issue by having them done when I can wear color.
Other critical girl craft skill we need to manage is their different way of moving, standing and sitting

I struggle with nail polish, so now I pre paint false nails and apply last as part of my dressing routine

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Originally Posted by Lucy23

#2 Zipping a dress all by myself. Although I can reach behind and do it with some difficulty, it usually takes longer than it should. I was thinking of some kind of hook or pin to fasten to a stick or something, but I have yet to try it out.

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Using a wire clothes hanger works well for making into a hook, catch hold of the zipper and pull it up...or down :)

I'm gradually getting better at my makeup, just need lots more time to practice :D

And then there's washing undies. If bra's aren't hooked in their clasp they get wound up and tied in knots more so than not; if they are washed in a perforated bag it helps, same thing for panties; how does the washing machine tie them in knots?? And washing things in the delicate and hand wash cycle.

I receive a lot of personal satisfaction knowing how to put on a bra and adjust everything including putting the forms in, also adjusting panties/thong with a tuck so everything is comfortable, hidden and flat and won't come out. Walking in heels and how to sit including how to get up out of a chair in heels. Going out in public dressed to different degrees in girl clothes and feeling comfortable and totally passing. Being comfortable buying and trying on girl clothes. And acceptance knowing you aren't going to change being a CD. Why can't society be comfortable too with CDing, or is it not that a big thing to them, it's all fear on our part???

I've found myself sort of subconsciously straightening out 'my skirt' under me when I sat down, when I'm actually wearing pants, then pulling the knees together while splaying the ankles apart just a little.

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Why can't society be comfortable too with CDing, or is it not that a big thing to them, it's all fear on our part???

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It's built into our dna. We expect certain behavior from people in our lives. When they do something inappropriate (or so we think), it unnerves us a bit, or for some a whole lot, and they don't even know why. Then when you add that, to learned expectations, you get whole societies making behaviors mandatory for whatever category they put you in.

I always poke myself in the eye when i put mascara on and putting on nail polish ??? lol

False eyelashes were a major problem for me until I just practiced over and over, still not an expert but can do a serviceable job. Painting my nails, curlers and curling irons were all viewed with disdain until I was able to become "adequate" with them.

Here is one I haven't seen mentioned yet, doing things with long nails! If you are able to grow your own out, I guess you get used to them as they grow but whenever I have acrylics done, I am all thumbs at first!

Part of the joy of this journey for me is learning to do all of these things!

Everything is pretty second nature. Women do it many more times than we do and they are experts on it. So when you have done this since almost birth, it is all familiar to me and I love it. However, my eyebrows are hard to do as they are bushy. Probable should get the hair removed and a feminine one drawn in.

One trick i use for tight dresses with back zippers is a short cord with a safety pin in one end, and a loop in the other end. that I put the safety pin in the zipper, then I hook the loop, on the hook, on the bathroom door and just stoop down and the zipper goes right up. Usually I just leave it there while i play around the house. I don't leave the house so i don't have to remove it.:battingeyelashes:

I've been at this for almost 40 years on the front burner, including eight years full-time. Ya learn a lot of tricks in that much time.

Fingernails: target hand flat on countertop, rest the heel of the painting hand next to it and paint with thumb and index finger. Experiment with how much polish to load onto the brush. I do a big one for my large thumbnails, then do the pinky with the residue; medium loads for the other fingers. Stroke from the cuticle toward the tip and work quickly for a consistent coat. If it's color, don't hesitate to apply a second coat if the first looks thin or patchy. Use a four-way buffing block before polish.

Toenails: rest the foot on toilet seat or chair (countertop if you're ballerina-limber), steady painting hand by bracing it on the other hand. Again, watch your brush loading and move fast for a consistent coat. Consider a second coat, or topcoat of clear due to hosiery chafing.

Eyebrows: my wife is envious of my brows. Hers went away several years ago. She painted brows on until she found these decal fakes that last for several days. I just pluck mine from underneath for a shaped look that's girly enough without being extreme. Be sure to attend to any unibrow strays you find, and compare back and forth frequently so you don't overdo one side and have to keep plucking beyond what you're looking for.

Makeup: I can do a quick job just standing in front of a wall mirror, but good detail requires a lighted magnifying mirror. Don't worry about the funhouse distortion; you need to see clearly, and a concave mirror allows you to find your focal point as if you had reading glasses on. I claim no expertise with beard-cover techniques, as I'm very fortunate to have very little to begin with, a fair amount of electrolysis over the years, and daily plucking of new sprouts. I pluck it as clean as I can get it, then follow with a wet Norelco shaver to smooth it.

Foundation: my wife and I got into tinted moisturizers a few years ago, and I can't imagine life without it. As they say, it looks like makeup and works like a treatment. I sometimes have rosacea outbreaks, and I'll touch those up with a concealer first. I've also started using Neutrogena hand cream (the Norwegian fisherman formula) on a wet face to deep-moisturize before anything else go on. It goes on white-cloudy then rubs in, down my neck to the collarbone area.

Eyeliner: when I first started out, I tried to use that liquid stuff with a little brush; extremely challenging. Then an old girlfriend showed me how to use a pencil. Shadow first, then liner over that. Long strokes that pull the skin a bit taut. I can do it OK in a wall mirror if I'm in a hurry, but a good top-and-bottom lid treatment needs the magnifier. Pull the lower lid taut from below to draw that delicate line right at the base of the lower lashes. Re-sharpen the pencil often to keep a fine point on it. Then smudge and smooth with the other end of the pencil. A little cat eye effect at the outer corners makes your eyes look bigger.

Shadow: I like the color-coordinated three-color packages, which are created to complement different eye colors. Lightest tone between the crease and the brow, darkest tone in a fine line on the crease, medium tone on the upper eyelid. I use two brushes, a smaller one for the lid and crease, then a fluffer to blend the upper area into the mix. It's easy to get gaudy with shadow, so watch the colors and how much you lay it on.

Mascara: consider curling with one of those little tools, but be careful not to pinch your eyelid! Watch the applicator loading; if it's thick and gloppy, you'll make a mess of it. Scrape excess off in the neck of the container. Steady your hand on your cheekbone and gently lift the brush while slowly blinking the lid down for the uppers. Watch the clumping and minimize it by combing with the applicator. The lowers can be tricky because they're often so fine and sparse. I've found that moving the brush carefully from side to side will get some color on so you can see what you're doing to build it up. A really good job usually requires a second pass; one eye, then the other, then back and back again.

Blush: one of the best drag queens I knew showed me a cool trick to get it in the right spot. Suck in your cheeks like you're imitating a goldfish. The spot you want is just above the resulting temporary dimples. I use an applicator brush and follow with a makeup brush to spread it toward the earlobes. As with eyeshadow, it's easy to overdo and look like Raggedy Ann.

Powder: don't forget to pat a little on your now-made-up eyes to set the eye makeup. Pat it around to cover, then (and this may be the piece de la resistance of a good look) blend, blend, blend with a quality soft brush. The idea is to meld all the different tones and colors into an integrated look. A little extra on the nose, brow, and lower lip/upper chin area will delay those areas getting shiny, and that's what you should look to touch up if you're out and about for hours.

Lipstick: it just doesn't look done without color on the lips. So many tones; just experiment until you like it. I like to use a fine brush to shape. Just apply it from the tube, then use the brush to define the upper and lower bounds. I love MAC's Lip Glass to give it sparkle, but a little dab'll do ya. I paint the lower lip down beyond my natural lips for a fuller look, and paint points up as well as color past the natural line on the upper. Last tip: gently kiss your index finger to take the buildup off and leave a natural look.

Clothes are, as many have said here, more a matter of practice than any particular technique tips. My wife joins her bras in front and turns them around, but I do the two-handed reach-around the way my mom did. Zipping up dresses can be challenging; one thing I've done is to pull the waist up temporarily to get the zipper high enough to reach from above. Of course, it's always nice to have a helper (:battingeyelashes:).

I've got another whole chapter on stretching and breaking in shoes...

I seem to have the same problems with #1 and #2. Don't know I'd I will ever get the hand of the garter belts, but since I love wearing them so much...I will keep,trying!

Ha! For bras I have to fasten them first then put them on like a shirt. I still struggle with eye make up. Walking in heels is a definite "girl craft". I was fortunate enough to pick it up right away but, hell, even some women struggle with this one. I do get nervous and go slow down stairs and I'm still envious of women who walk so effortlessly with them. I remember wearing heels to a CD/TG party. I went upstairs to drop off my coat and purse but when I got back to the wooden stairs I just stopped for a minute and looked down and my eyes got big. Luckily, I went very slowly and made it down but it was terrifying.

Take solace that the learning curve is quite large here. None of us is perfect, and we all have a pitfall awaiting us somewhere. Mine was in the button back romper I bought this summer, looked great on a hanger, looking good going on, until I had to struggle with the slip and hook buttons on the back. I felt like a contortionist trying to button the thing up. Would have been much easier to have a campanion do it for me.

Thanks for your tips Acastina,

For me its eyeliner. That's it. If I can figure that out I believe I have the girl craft thing down.

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Originally Posted by CynthiaD

And then comes the day when you're struggling with your male dress shirt because the buttons on the wrong side ...

Or when you're trying to blow your nose without mussing your makeup, and you realize you're in male mode and not wearing makeup ...

Both have happened to me.

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Hi CynyhiaI was just think the same thing as I was reading the posts.

It is like being a double agent...:daydreaming:...

It's been so long ago when I learned to fasten a bra behind my back. I never thought of fastening and stepping into it. My wife fastens in front and rotates it. I still feel a little proud that I can do it and she can't.