I came across this article posted by Suddenly Fem. which I think pretty much sums up what a lot of crossdressers feel and experience..thought it was worthwhile to share with everyone:
https://www.crossdresser.com/blog/cr...eid=c144211007
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I came across this article posted by Suddenly Fem. which I think pretty much sums up what a lot of crossdressers feel and experience..thought it was worthwhile to share with everyone:
https://www.crossdresser.com/blog/cr...eid=c144211007
Interesting article. I wouldn't class myself as brave for stepping out of the door, not compared to what some other members do, but I do feel a sense of minor accomplishment. Not so long ago the thought would have terrified me, now it's becoming a regular thing. Now interacting, that's the next big step.
yes but some of us are not that brave and some of us the call to show ourselves is overwhelming as it has been for me lately just have to do it don't know that its being brave
I'm here to tell ya'.
It takes a real man to don a knee length dress and high heels, and struts into a department store or bistro.
Try it some time. I dare you to have the nerve.
Good little article. I think it takes a certain amount of courage to leave the house dressed but, that's where a lot of the excitement energy comes from.
Leaving the house, getting in the car and driving aren't near as challenging as interacting in public, though.
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My word for CDs is honest. When I am dressed (which for me means I am out in public), I am being completely honest about myself for everyone and anyone to see.
I'm with Kandi on this. "Brave" intimates that there is some danger when there is not. We fabricate that in our own heads
I agree, it takes a lot of courage to go against the grain and step out en femm. The first time is nerve racking. Now it's no big deal but there is danger out there, you never know when someone might take offense and start some shit. You have to be prepared for everything and keep your wits about you.
There's a YouTube video from a few years ago of a CD'er in Vegas getting physically tackled on the street by a complete stranger, sending them to the pavement.
Thank God there's no danger out there, that it was simply all in her head...
As an added note...the more one can "pass" and some of you girls are spot on..the easier I feel it is to go out..at least that's how I feel...it's us CD'ers that are borderline or beyond that really unfortunately have to take on more of the risks if we want to go out and about...then again there are those lucky few who can say "damn the torpedoes , full speed ahead" regardless of how they may present...as we all hope maybe attitudes will someday change and all this will be a mute point..
I have been out twice on halloween and once about 2 years ago just because .I never thought about it being brave I just that i wanted to do it
Its not courageous or brave really its just you being you.
Now if you are afraid of your own shadow then maybe it is in a sense
95% of the fears are in your own head so consider the source.
The way to be SAFE and BRAVE. Wear 4" heels, fish net hose and a mini skirt. For the top wear your karati shirt with your fourth degree black belt. I don't think you will be challenged and you will be safe.
Ronnie, I do not pass and my opinion is that virtually no cross dresser can pass as a genetic woman. That bar is just too high. With enough darkness and distance many can withstand a glance but anyone who really looks at us and interacts with us, knows we are not genetic women. The truth is, the normals see us and don't really care.Quote:
Originally Posted by ronniegirl
You are right on with the damn the torpedoes comment, however. THAT'S all it takes.
As a GG, considering how cruel some people can be, I think it is brave of those of you who dress in public. Even if the threat of physical harm is low, there is judgment and possible ridicule, and it's no small feat to withstand that with your chin up.
One of the things that so attracts me to my CD is his confidence and courage. To throw a holiday party at his house and toss an open invite that had many new people coming into his home, and he was wearing women's clothes (pink shirt, women's skinny jeans, girly socks, and women's Mary Janes). I can see how that could be a scary thing to do, but everyone there seemed to think he was great, and he landed a girlfriend!
And right now he's napping on my living room floor beside my teenage daughter, wearing a sweater dress, polka dot leggings, pink and white socks, bright pink glittery nails (which my daughter picked out for him), and he's snoring... and we think he's the cutest guy ever.
The only time I felt brave was the time in Tilted Kilt, where it was fight night. I was dressed in a green skirt and my orange top and tall heels. There was single men mostly there watching the fight. We ordered dinner and was being observed by many men. I just acted my girly self and had confidence and kept that stature and when we left the waitresses and greeter said goodnight lady's. Yep sometimes you have to walk the gauntlet, yep me in my Mary Jane's.
The store manager at my favorite dress shop once told me I'm the bravest person she knows. I dunno. It doesn't feel to me like bravery. It feels to me like it's time to stop being afraid of the outside world. A subtle difference, perhaps.
A real good way to be safe when you don't pass is to be 6ft2 and 300 lbs and look like you can take care of yourself. But seriously, dress yourself tastefully, smile and don't go where people look sketchy.
I'm not going to dispute this and will cite Jennifer as an example. While she is right-on in terms of passing philosophy (as in I agree 1000%), she is part of that percentage of our tribe who can pull off the Alfred E. Neuman and say "what, me worry???"Quote:
Originally Posted by ronniegirl
That said, are the rest of us brave? No. Bold, yes but I'll reserve bravery for more noble pursuits including our 24/7 sisters. The rest of us can retreat to the guy when the going gets tough or necessity dictates.
I agree, Sara.
Coming out (as a CD'er) to your wife/SO, all your friends, all your family (including parents, siblings, children, etc.), your neighbors, your co-workers & bosses, etc. -- *and* presenting as female in front of them quite often (and also wearing obviously-women's clothing while in guy-mode, too) -- is what I would consider bravery when it comes to this stuff.
Otherwise, we're all arguably a bunch of wusses -- including yours truly. :)
Hi Ronnie:hugs:, One thing is to chose your venue carefully to avoid danger...:daydreaming:...
~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS~~~~~
Very interesting take but I really don't consider myself brave when I do go out, crazy at times maybe but brave not really.
For me it's just me expressing a part of me so no it's not brave it just is what it is
I'm with LeighR,
Crazy - but in a nice way
Brave - I tend to do Brave in male mode, very surprised I managed to live long enough to enjoy being crazy (I actually used to believed death would cure me from Cross Dressing - very glad I'm here to enjoy it )
Ronnie,
When I told my wife the Xmas party for our social group would be a mixed one with the general public she did question how I had the courage. my avatar was taken at the start of that party, it was a great night.
I've been thinking about this for a while now. I guess you could call us brave. For most of us, there is some degree of risk involved, but the self-serving nature of the activity, frequently to satisfy a serious drive, removes a certain amount of volition from the equation. Not all of it, of course, but some, and it is that portion of control that we give up makes the activity just a little less brave. I'm probably being pedantic as hell, but as a life-long risk taker, in both occupation and recreation, I have to say that it's very different when Kelly is in control
I guess CDs could be thought of being brave. Especially ones that go out or reveal themselves to family or friends.
For a part time thing, a lot of bad things could happen.
I always get from others that outing oneself as TS and to transition is brave or whatever. I always say that it came to a point where I had to transition or horrible things could happen.
I don't see my self as brave at all, but i think its a personal thing. If one wishes to go out but is scared and you conquer that fear and go out that is very brave. But going out for me has just been something I need to do, I have never been scared therefore I am not at all brave.
Becky's comment; If one wishes to go out but is scared and you conquer that fear and go out that is very brave. is what I intended to say. Jenifer's correct in pointing out that much of the fear we experience is unfounded, the world isn't such a bad place for us. That however isn't the whole truth as there are places no CD'er or Trans person of any description would go and expect to come out unscathed. There are dangers out there but in the same way getting into your car and driving to the shops or travelling by plane or boat carries an element of risk.
So for many it is an act of bravery to take those first steps out. Once you've been out and mingled with the muggles a few times you learn that those fears were far more imagined than real. Going out then becomes more just a thing you do but there may always be one butterfly still hiding in the pit of your stomach. This in fact is a good thing as it keeps you aware and safe.
Firstly the context of my response. I'm fortunate to be out dressed 4 or 5 days a week.
Suddenly Fem is promoting 'opportunities' to present better as a female, ultimately to be able to pass. Makes good commercial sense. As a number have said here and before, not many of us pass so we take to heart all the opportunities of developing our femme side. I do too.
When I'm going through a busy shopping centre in male mode, I do wonder about me when in femme mode - words like 'brave' do come to mind but not as a result fear of physical harm, just being different.
Yet in femme mode, I don't feel brave at all. Just 'right'. No, I don't pass. I don't even try to blend - my age in femme years is really quite young :battingeyelashes:
Suddenly Fem promotes 'confidence'. Confidence is very important but it comes, in my view, from experience. Perhaps the greatest contributor to confidence and enjoyment is being comfortable that I'll be recognised as a man in a dress. That is empowering and satisfying. The world is a friendly and satisfying place when I can happily interact with people even with a male voice.
Glad to see the article I referred to has provoked interesting and varied opinions and reactions to it..certainly made me think about things....hope all are having a safe and happy holiday...:)
That's one of the best things about crossdressing. You can have adventures without going very far from home.
Maybe AUDACIOUS, or brazen would be more appropriate regarding most of my "out" adventures.
Can hardly wait for the next one in about 2 weeks.
Those of you who have the courage to dress and go out and be who they want to be regardless of what others might think, are brave. I wouldn't consider myself brave. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to admit that the clothes were for me... Here's me hoping that the next year will see me doing a step forward.
I've been crossdressing for over 40 years now, but it has only since my divorce that I have ventured out dressed, I started by going for 5 to 10 Kilometre walks very early in the morning dressed in mainly pink clothes, it was winter so I had to rug up. Then in spring I bought myself ladies gym gear and started walking in it, I also wear a wig, makeup, earrings and sunglasses. After doing it so often I got the confidence to go to a crossdressers ball in Katoomba and have been to another ball since and a Christmas Party for crossdressers and their family and friends, I have also been shopping whilst dressed to a few shopping centres a couple of outlets and also Costco a number of times, now you may think that is brave and yes I do too, BUT when it comes to going to the ladies I would have to be the biggest chicken out there, I have only used the ladies in a public place once at an outlet, it wasn't very busy and the ladies were empty, but that is the only time, I did try at another shopping centre, but the line up was out the door and there was no way I was going to stand in line with a bunch of women, so no I'm not brave at all. My daughter just thinks I'm crazy.