Am I a cross dresser?

One member here has questioned my being here because I wear no female clothing except nightgowns, slips and a few other silky lingerie items (panties, petti-pants, silky PJs). Others seem to think that it is inevitable that I will move on to other female clothing. I suppose that could happen, but I have been wearing nighties off and on for about 40 years, and have never wanted to wear any other female clothing. There doesn't seem to be a nightgown-only forum, so here I am. And it has been fun so far. Most of you who like more complete dressing also like silky gowns, and it is fun to have a place where my hobby is accepted as not weird - unless you think it is weird to only like nightgowns.

Wear what you like I don't think its weird.
Never owned a night gown but do have silk PJs I wear sometimes.
Whatever floats your boat enjoy.

Enjoy what makes you happy - I like night gowns too (and dresses, and skirts, .....)

I think I told u before that fetish dressers r welcome here, Gownman. Otherwise they would have thrown me out years ago!:battingeyelashes:

That doesn't mean everyone here welcomes us fetish dressers.:brolleyes:

Sherri is right. I am not really into night gowns myself, don't rely have any, and my wife does not want to share a bed with a woman, but that's me. What is more important is if the forum provides for your needs, and how you too can contribute to those around you. This forum doesn't have a lot of room to be so judgmental. As long as you aren't making others very uncomfortable, I see no reason not to welcome you.

As far as weird, heck we all are!

answering your original question, you wear women's wear so you're part of the crossdressing community if you want to be.

How would you answer your own question?

I wear silky night gowns and nighties all the time. If you're wearing women's night gowns then that is crossdressing, if you only underdress then you are a crossdresser. The spectrum of crossdressing is very wide. Not everyone dresses fully, it's not for everyone. Just wear what makes you happy. Some people only accept one type of crossdressing as being true, the all or nothing crowd.

Pretty amazing how for many years you feel like a misfit because you enjoy some women's undergarments and know that if somebody sees you in them or finds them they will think you are a crossdresser and after many years you reach out to a crossdressing site and then don't even know if you are a crossdresser. Who is the judge? The funny thing is that it seems to me that only men can be crossdressers. Women have the freedom to wear any apparel they choose but men are supposed to only wear this or that. Women can discard items like pantyhose and claim that they hate to wear them. In years past they would make comments like men don't have to wear them or you try wearing them all day and see if you like them. But, if a man wants to wear them, they are a freak. I have come to the conclusion that clothing is simply clothing. That is the way a woman looks at it. They wake up in the morning or go to bed and put on whatever they want. Catalogs or sales flyers from stores are more than 90% geared toward the woman. Recently I decided to wear panties full time. I ordered many pairs and cleaned out my drawer and replaced my male briefs with panties. Now that is all I wear. I am pretty confident that if I got in a car wreck wearing panties and or pantyhose, people would consider me a crossdresser. From my short time here, I have come to the conclusion that for many, crossdressing is not about wearing female clothing as much as it is about a transition into a female persona. There even seems to be some sort of code that you can do whatever you want in private but not in public. People will claim to be heterosexual but then speak of their fem side or this other persona they call Betty. Paul can play dress up at home behind closed doors however Paul wants, but, if Paul is going out in public, Paul better become Betty with full makeup, wig, and breast/buttock enhancements. Paul cannot be masculine Paul with body hair and wear a dress in public. That would just be too weird and could possibly hurt the cause.

I think you are a crossdresser in the truest sense of the word. Embrace your desire. Make it known to your significant other if you have one. Wear panties, or gowns, or whatever you like as much as you like. Make it your go to clothing. Only then will you know what you want to wear. I have been fascinated with pantyhose since a youngster. As previously mentioned many women have sworn off pantyhose. I am sitting here now and not wearing any. Why? Because I am free to wear them or not. If I am honest with myself will I want to wear pantyhose 24/7/365? I don't know. Maybe after allowing myself to wear them all the time, I will not be as fascinated with them or might not even like them in the future. Time will tell.

I think a dress or skirt would be comfortable and feel nice. It seems that you can wear a dress at home but if you want to go out in public, you should not go out as a man in a dress. If that is the case, and that case has been made on this forum, then crossdressing is not about the clothing but the persona. I think it is best for you or I to accept who we are and what we want and live true to ourselves rather than trying to find acceptance on an internet forum.

In closing let's just look at this logically for a minute. If it is considered normal and accepted for a man to pluck their eyebrows, don artificial breasts, put on a wig and full makeup, dress in female clothing and go out to pass as a female, then you are surely normal for wanting to wear a slip or some silky lingerie.

Crossdressing has many forms and believe wearing a slip or nightgown of the opposite sex is still a form of crossdressing.

Hi Gownman:hugs:, In the Crossdressers Handbook it says that the only rule is that there are no rules.

To each his/her own...:daydreaming:...

EVERYONE in this forum lives in a glass house. Why anyone here would want to go all Ernest T boggles my mind.

Welcome!

Gownman, you are a crossdresser! I agree with BLUE! There are no rules just a huge spectrum! Hugs Lana Mae

You've come to the right place. Don't let anyone on here take anything away from what you do. Some people just like to sh*t in their own beds. Dress as much or as little as you like and in the meantime make yourself at home in the forumn.

I'm a crossdresser.

Anyone who wears clothes assigned to the other gender is. I think the worry you are expressing is about what else it means to 'be a crossdresser'- i.e. weird, gay, unstable, perverted, confused.

All of those things are separate from crossdressing,as you see on the site- lots of smart, organized, thoughtful, stable, loving, people who are interested in and enjoy wearing the clothes normally reserved for the other gender, and extending this to some degree to customizing their appearance in other ways- i.e. hair, forms, etc- which is also an independent and separate desire from just liking the clothes- as you [and Billy, and many others] already can feel.

The plus and minus of this site is that we are all swimming around together and can support each other, but occasionally are myopic due to our own view of crossdressing as connected to all sorts of other parts of gender identity. We usually get over it quickly because people chime in to help level the field again.

It doesn't really matter if someone is reluctant to call themselves a crossdresser, either, because of various fears. IMHO the purpose of this site that we really need to protect is to support with friendship and safe space those who for ANY reason put on an item of clothing of the other gender. There is so much that is unconscious/semi conscious about this act that we can all be generous about this.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gownman

One member here has questioned my being here because I wear no female clothing except nightgowns, slips and a few other silky lingerie items (panties, petti-pants, silky PJs).

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Don't know who that member might have been, but I'm pretty sure nobody here gets to make official rulings. I wouldn't worry about it.

Phili's last paragraph makes a great point that the label-haters seem to miss. It's not about what you call yourself, even though it helps others here better understand your perspective without needing you to go over your history every time. It's about determining for yourself (considering others' replies to your question) if this is the right place to get the support you seek. One of the best ways to get that support is to read that there are others much like yourself. It's also about giving support, not by preaching to others what you must do (tell her now!) or not do (don't go out wearing that!), as the self-appointed experts like to do, but telling your story so other like-minded members can relate.

Robert asks "how would you answer your own question?"

Here is my somewhat convoluted answer:
Yes, I am a cross dresser because I do like to wear nighties and slips.
I wish it was considered OK for men to wear silky things, but I ask myself, "Would it be as much fun to wear a long gown if it had no feminine touches - little bows, lace, pastel colors." The answer I come to is "No". A large part of the fun for me is what I call the naughtiness factor. It's fun precisely because I am not supposed to do it. My favorite gowns are the ones that have a little lace on the bottom hem - I think it looks feminine and the lace feels nice as the gown swishes around my legs when I walk around.
I am probably going to come out soon to my family and some of my friends (some wouldn't get it). I am sure they will all be accepting; they are all tolerant and non-judgmental.

Good luck ,it is what it is......

If you have to ask whether you're a crossdresser, then you are. If you weren't the question wouldn't occur to you. Welcome!

It's called cross dressing not cross dressing completely. Your a cross dresser. Embrace it, own it, know your not doing anything wrong and most importantly enjoy it. 😀

I guess I call it "CD Lite" I underdress whenever I can which may only be a few hours a week and my "Dressing up" in a dress is even more rare. But I keep it that way because I am in the closet and that works for me as well. So, Gownman, I guess I understand where you are coming from - I questioned whether I was really a crossdresser too, but I am and even though I am "CD Lite", I am still a CD. I think you are too , so welcome to the club.

Of course you are. What man wears silky lingerie? A crossdressing man. Enjoy finding yourself x

I do own it, I do know that I am not doing anything wrong, and I definitely do enjoy it. I have three new gowns on the way (2 of my favorite Amada Rich ones and a vintage Miss Elaine bought on EBay). I can hardly wait to try them on.

Didn't mean to come across so harsh. Meant it as a positive response. Been wearing Miss Elaine myself for a long long time. Get my new ones from Macy's

Nothing is "weird", and I sincerely hope you don't feel judged by anyone in this forum. The crossdresssing urge grows for many here because they just keep going down the rabbit hole to their own personal depth, which is different for everyone. The mechanism appears to be that at the beginning of self acceptance, one admits interest in only a small amount of clothing, but quickly finds they have opened a Pandora's closet, and down the hole they go. Some go as far as FTM transition. Others find panties are sufficient. You get to choose. Don't accept anyone's judgement.

Your urge has been much the same for a long time. Why should you expect it to change now?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gownman

Robert asks "how would you answer your own question?"

Here is my somewhat convoluted answer:

Yes, I am a cross dresser because I do like to wear nighties and slips.

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It is good that you have answered your own question. Personally I swing between thinking I wear these clothes purely because I like them, and other times thinking I wear them purely because they are women's clothes. So, sometimes, I would describe myself as gender queer, and, other times, as a transvestite/cross dresser.

Like you, I'm not sure I would be as interested in these garments if there was a male equivalent. I own a kilt, for instance, but I don't get as much of a buzz from wearing it as I do from wearing a skirt.

However I do tend to over think things.

I sleep in a night gown, underdress in granny panty or panty hose, wear a bra now that it is jacket weather, and totter around in pumps at home; I am a crossdresser! For the past year I have been getting a pedicure monthly as well. I shop for my own things, but still building up courage to browse Dress Barn.

Cheers,
Amy

I didn't think it was harsh at all. My reply was meant to be an acknowledgement of the truth about myself. I am not conflicted at all. I love my nighties and wear them without guilt. My only concern is that my family ought to know. I think none of my kids or brothers would have much of a problem with it, but it is still a big step, you know? I have taken one small step: one of my daughters-in-law knows - I told her because she comes over and cleans my house and I didn't want her to get a shock at what she might see, though I do have a way to hide my collection when I have visitors. I did leave one of my gowns in the dryer once - she hung it neatly in the laundry room. I am probably going to tell the rest of my family soon.

Am I really a crossdresser, I think yes. I mostly just wear bras and don't try to pass. Bras are designed for a woman I like wearing them so by simple definition I am a crossdresser. I would think the same applies to gowns, panties, slips(ohhhh, slips can be fun too), or any other garment.

John

Imagine a wife (who doesn't know) walks in and sees her husband in sexy lingerie. "You're a crossdresser??" "No, not according to my friends at crossdressers.com".

Ultimately in the end no one of us better than the other.....A man in women's clothes....Rude

Don't label yourself. If you feel ashamed, don't! Be yourself and wear what you feel comfortable wearing