Young and Beautiful

I notice a preoccupation on this site with chasing Youth And Beauty - inter alia, wanting to recapture being the young woman that one never was - living, dressing and making oneself up for the part, and outright believing that one looks many years younger that way. I'd like to ask across the board why they feel that way and whether they feel they've any underlying motivation.

I can somewhat get the beauty part of it - women are held unfairly to occasionally unreasonable standards of beauty, and I reckon we who present ourselves as women in spite of the baggage we carry from being born male would face a potentially daunting struggle to attain that same standard.

I know that, being in my early 20s, I'm definitely not of the age to ask this of myself just yet. Maybe I'll ask myself that in a couple decades or more.

First, I think that every woman probably feels a propensity to 'chase youth and beauty'. It is, after all, what they need to do, to attract a mate. Despite all the 'the real beauty comes from within' that we grow up being told, reality is that the first thing we notice is looks, before we ever get to know someone. It's simply a matter of distance; you see them before you can talk to them. And you know immediately based on what they look like, whether you are attracted to them or not. Perhaps not about in a positive way, but if there's something about someone visually that turns you off or repulses you, you're probably not going to want to get to know them any further.
That said, one thing that some of us suffer from, is sort of being 'stuck in time'. Our identifying with being female of a certain age might never change, as we have no way to mature as one. A man will grow with his tasks; we learn that we will be identified by our job, our position. Women identify by their relationships, and as crossdressers, we don't have any female to female friendships. So we're often stuck as we are, sometimes forever (as in my case).
We don't hold women up to unreasonable standards of beauty. Males are attracted to women who appear: Healthy, clear skin, good teeth, healthy looking hair, and a figure that indicates she's past puberty, but still looks young enough to not have been exposed to illnesses. A female who has not had children yet is also less likely to be preoccupied with an older child, so that she will be more likely to take care of a child that he and she have. It all explains the attraction to young women rather than older ones, it's simply natural selection. What we have today, is a growing percentage of women who increasingly insist that men be attracted to that which, for 99% of human history, were not the best potential mates to have children with in order to have the best chance of our offspring surviving. But you can't force someone to be attracted to something. It simply doesn't work. We don't choose what turns us on. If we could, I'd choose to be attracted to old, fat, ugly, short, nasty women with bad complexions, body odor, bad hair and a bad disposition. I'd be having so much sex that I'd have to quit my job. But we don't get to choose. We're simply attracted to those who we are most likely to have offspring that will survive.
It's not chasing either youth or beauty. But as a lot of us remember, when we were young we often found almost all the girls we knew somewhat attractive, even when we had a favorite that we had a crush on. And I think it's the idealized image of those, even 'average' girls, whose appearances we are, as you wrote, chasing.

Lily, a good question! So, do I go male and balding, ugly, and 65 or nice wig and make up to take away the ugly and have hair female(about 20 years younger in appearance)? Beauty, ha forget that! Younger I can do! I have no illusions about being anything but a plus size girl. (yes, I am jealous of you being so small! LOL) But it is all me, male or female! I really am happy where I am for now! Hugs Lana Mae

I don't have a pre-occupation with youth and beauty Lily. If wearing the clothes I choose to wear makes me look a bit younger than what I am (nearly 70) and smartly dressed (my goal) I'll be pleased, happy, and ready to enjoy my day. Btw, I'm not suggesting for a moment that you attempted to place me in that "preoccupation" category.


Karen

Some of us Wish to look younger, I wish to look older,
That's why I'm here !!
Stacy!

I have not deliberately tried to look younger than my 53 years, but it just so happens that I do, and I count myself fortunate in that respect. When dressed it takes a few more years off, make up can hide a few lines and careful application can smooth the skin. Looking at pictures of myself I would put myself in the early 40s range, hardly chasing youth. I just dress to present well and look as good as I can.

Oh Lilyy,
You are young and pretty with your whole life a head of you and I wouldn't expect you to understand. Life goes by quickly and it seems, the older you get the faster it goes. It's not just a CD thing, as we get old we all grasp for our youthful days. Most don't act on it, but you do see men and women in that mid life crises mode. whether a flashy sports car or a skirt much too short for ones age the ravages of time effects our judgement in bizarre unusual ways. I think it stands out a little more here with us CD's as we reinvent ourselves, why not go younger and cling the styles and looks we were denied. Yes we may look and act crazy, but it is crazy in a fun way. Yes Lilyy a couple two three decades from now you may understand.

Anima theory plays heavily into this. Jung once wrote: "If you are men, your God is a maiden." The nature of the anima archetype is such that it is always viewed as ideally beautiful, ever youthful but ageless. And when we dress, we are generally allowing the anima to fill and possess our mortal flesh, in an almost pre-historic, quasi shamanistic fashion of spirituality.

Modern social politics and 'womens' issues,' standards of beauty -vs- reality, etc, fortunately, are just so much moral posturing. We all chase ideal visions in our hearts, no matter what the mind knows is correct and fair.

Nobody can politicize Aphrodite to death, or beat Her down with social guilt-tripping. You can't force yourself to be attracted to something you are not attracted to, because the heart cannot lie in that matter. You can mature, and grow to appreciate new aspects, yes. You can reach a compromise in your presentation that factors in cold, hard reality of age and appearance, but in the final discourse: the heart wants what it wants.

One may as well ask if we are 'culturally appropriating the birthright of womanhood" if we want to get all hogwashy. But when it comes down to it, we all carry a bit of the Goddess within that drives the rest of us to emulate. That archetypal ideal is a valid part of us, and there needn't be any shame accepting it. Even cultures that try to fight nature by forcibly covering their women completely are fighting a losing battle.

Sounds like your post is aimed at ME, Lilyy! :straightface:

My main reason probably won't fit many others here. Altho, I'm over 70 Sherry is only about 20. Because that's when I first began dressing. :battingeyelashes:

Also, I hate seeing myself as I really am, a homely old CD in my mirror.:sad:
However, the sight of a pretty young woman looking back at me is quite exciting and stimulating!:D

A pic is worth 1000 words!:daydreaming:

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I hear you, Sherry. If I dress to pass, I appear to be about mid fortyish although I'm in my early sixties. But, that's the way it is for me in drab, too. But, the other side of the coin is that I more often dress for the sensation and the illusion of being a character of some kind of extreme. And, as an aged individual, I can do elderly just as easy as I can do the more youthful illusions. Heck, Sherry can even rock a bikini or probably even less.

Lilyy, enjoy your youth, and the pretty, wrinkle-free skin on your lovely face .... while you can. When you reach a more advanced age, physical traits do change, and when they do, you will try harder to recreate what once was. For many of us, we are simply trying to recreate what we might have been, had we ever been in your shoes.

I'm quite fortunate that I look younger than my age. I'm in my fifties but relatively wrinkle-free, and my foundation hides the few that I have.
So I tend to see myself as a woman of that younger age - somewhere in my forties. I dress, style my hair and do my makeup appropriately to that age. I don't go for the dolled-up look or the "mutton dressed as lamb" look because it is usually my aim to blend in and pass by unnoticed.

As u requested, Carla!:heehee:

The fact is, Lilyy? If u want to look good bad enuff? Pretty much anyone can!:daydreaming:

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There is a time in most peoples lives, when they were at their peak (physically, sexually) for most males it's between 18 and 26 (most football players, sports stars - excluding golf)
For women, it's not much different.

So who doesn't want to be at their peak?

While age is great for wisedom, lifestyle, harmony, money, etc, we all still dream of the glory days, when our skin was tight and fresh and the impossible was still possible.

So if your going to create a fantasy life, would you rather be youthful and beautiful, or old, wrinkely and on a zimmer frame?
- check out any of the sim characters on web games, most are at their peak, not many elderly, crusty next life characters

Hi Lily:hugs:, It feels great to be able to turn the calendar backwards,

When I dress-up with all the trimmings it is easy to knock 10 to 20 years off my appearance.

Enjoy your youth Lily, You are a very pretty young lady...:daydreaming:...

Hi all,

I am grateful for all of your feedback. On hindsight, "preoccupation" was quite an overstatement - although I still reckon it seems to be a common trope at least on this site.

Wen4CD, I observe that you've pointed out Anima theory - I presume you're referring to the four faces of the anima (Eve, Helen, Mary and Sophia). I think Helen plays out quite frequently here though.

It seems to me there is a preoccupation with chasing Youth and Beauty in our society as a whole and not just on this site.

A lot of women dye their hair when it starts to turn grey, and also a lot of men are doing it too. Also, a lot of women will do things like botox. The health and beauty industry is a big business.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by grace7777

It seems to me there is a preoccupation with chasing Youth and Beauty in our society as a whole and not just on this site.

A lot of women dye their hair when it starts to turn grey, and also a lot of men are doing it too. Also, a lot of women will do things like botox. The health and beauty industry is a big business.

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I agree with this, it's not just people in this website that want to look young but just about everybody does too. I'd much prefer to dress than younger than dress older lol

I wouldn't say that I'm "chasing youth". I just look younger when dressed. Which makes sense, as that is what most products for women, wether it be make-up, hair product, or clothes, are designed to do.

nice pool side pic, drs if there's a prescrip. for that, I'll make an appt. enjoy, and be safe :) karrin

I admit to chasing beauty and that older women normally try to look more youthful. Having had to delay my crossdressing for decades while raising a family and society was more unforgiving than now, I lost the chance to see how good I could have looked. I think I still do well, but I focus on the beauty and not trying to look like a 20 year old. Lily - you are lucky enough to be exposed to the Internet and a more accepting society, so you can wear the ballet slippers and tutu and look normal (and very pretty). I would look out of place. But I have plenty of pretty looks I can accomplish, so I am OK with that.
Hugs, Ellen

Indeed I certainly looked better in my earlier days. All the young girls here are awesome. I am in my mid sixties and still look in my forties. So yes we try to look younger and dress nicely and also sometimes sexy. Yes when you are fifty years older you may have the answer to the question. The young cannot truly understand and older one because age give us a large amount of experience. My SO put together an outfit for me while we took the task to find the belt tat matches the heels to find a bolero to go with it. It looks fantastic on me and is just right.

Lily,
Ask yourself this question, why are all the shops full of cosmetics designed to make women look younger, clothes shops with clothes designed to flatter figures , do you know a single woman who chooses to dress older and totally give up on makeup ?
Most Cders wish to look good when dressed, we are bound to follow the same path, it's wonderful to be mid sixties and a GG puts your age at mid forties , I have to smile that's something someone of your age doesn't qualify for, do you want to appear 10/11 again ?

It's wonderful complement and an acknowledgement that your makeup skills aren't that bad ! We can make this difference in our lives as females but it doesn't work the same in drab.

I don't dress to try to look younger. I do enjoy doing makeup in that it makes my skin look better. I just try to look respectable and dress in a classy manner,

I'm going to go back to "we all want to look as if we're in our prime"

Young and beautiful and cosmetics don't jell for teens.
My 4 teens put make up on to look older (as if they were in their prime years -19 to 25 ish) NOT to look younger.
I don't know any 16 year olds who want to look younger and not many 35 year olds who want to look older.

People who are content with their looks, are either in the peak (20's like Lily), or very confident with who they are.

Thanks once again for all your comments.

Rachel - I don't dispute your suggestion that there's a "prime" band of ages which one would tend to strive to look. I'm probably one of those who looks slightly older, but to my credit I'm older than I look when in drab, which has already led to questions and a bit of questioning when I was seen smoking.

Teresa - I think in an ideal world, make-up is meant to make the wearer feel good about how he or she looks, although a good part of it (concealer etc.) is clearly meant to cover up blemishes and flaws - some of which seem to come inevitably with age. I recognise, however, that it's seen to become an unwritten requirement amongst women (not that it should be), and inevitable in most parts of the MtF trans* community.

Ellen - I agree with you wholeheartedly that age shouldn't really be an obstacle to being (if not staying?) beautiful all the same. (I still think it was very outlandish of me to actually wear ballet slippers and a tutu, although even I thought the entire setup was so pretty.)

Sherry - I think I've seen you unmasked before. You're actually gorgeous. I mean it.

I for one am, at least for now, of the opinion that youngsters like myself are, for the most part, accidents of nature - beautiful old people, as Eleanor Roosevelt mentioned, are all the more works of art. Although I'm damned grateful that I'm probably going to be older than I look for the rest of my life, even if it admittedly kind of sucked when I began drinking, smoking and driving (though not all at the same time, obviously.)