Ask a Trans Military Member (Anything!)

I am an active duty Major (Lt Col in a few months) in the United States Air Force. I have also been involved in the push to change the policy last year, have done training and education within the Air Force, and did several interviews on Wednesday regarding the President's tweets. I was brought back to this forum by a very sweet note of support from one of the members and I found a lot of interesting notions about what being transgender (and I use that as an umbrella term) means to today's military.

With that I offer that if you have questions, please ask and I'll do my best to answer. Ask them here or send me a note.

Here are a few things I shared on Facebook in the past few days -

26 Jul 1000
Yes, everyone is stunned. My advice for my fellow trans service members: do your job. Do it as well as you ever have. Don't give anyone a reason to question your validity or your military readiness.
A tweet is not policy. If, yes almost certainly when, it is translated to policy there will be a very organized effort to fight it. What you do everyday is the best ammunition we have in that fight.
For now, keep calm and carry on. When the enemy demanded he strike his colors, John Paul Jones famously replied "I have not yet begun to fight!". That's where we are right now. Prepare yourself.

From my wife 26 Jul 1700
This not only affects some of the most amazing soldiers I have ever had the honor to meet and call my friends, it affects my husband's calling and family's future. I will not allow th bigotry and hate of one man destroy me or my family, I have not yet begun to fight.

29 Jul 1900
Our country has a checkered past when it comes to civil rights, but I can't think of any instance where, at the federal level, we have gone backwards and reinstated institutional discrimination once it had been eliminated. In the long term we have bent the moral arc towards justice, and it would be shameful for our nation to reverse course on the ideal of liberty and justice for all.

Many people have asked what they can do now and if we move from tweet to policy. First, thank you! I believe the best things you can do are to speak out about your feelings on the issue, share the stories of honorably serving transgender service members, donate to organizations that support us, and to contact your representatives regarding your support of open trans service.

I remain optimistic and hope you do too. The response to me personally and across the country has been amazing. I'm so thankful.

I admire your courage. I'm encouraged that you're in a leadership position that underscores your ability lead by example, and to speak out on behalf of all those who serve.

Sage as advice, Major. "Do your job." That is what each of us swore to do. There should never be a barrier to carrying out that oath.

Since you've asked though, I do have a question. What is the feeling among your peers about the issue (before last week's drama, I mean)? Does it vary by rank or length of service?

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Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly

Sage as advice, Major. "Do your job." That is what each of us swore to do. There should never be a barrier to carrying out that oath.

Since you've asked though, I do have a question. What is the feeling among your peers about the issue (before last week's drama, I mean)? Does it vary by rank or length of service?

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For the vast majority of people, it just isn't an issue. Good order and discipline, along with leadership, make it that way. Most of us put far more stock in the mission than anything else. As long as someone is pulling their weight, little else matters. This is not to say there aren't people who do have an issue, at all ranks and amounts of service. As a whole I'd say the younger folks are more likely to be accepting on a personal level, but the older folks understand the value of treating everyone with respect and have already been through changes in military policy (i.e. the end of DADT) and have seen how little effect it has and how all the same naysayers and prognosticators of doom and gloom were wrong then and are wrong now.

Bree first off thank you for your service so greatly appreciated. I too find this very disappointing and the attatcks we are seeing on
trans folks continue, here in Texas we are fighting another one of those bathroom bills.
Continue the fight Bree you have our support.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this
Rachael Leigh

Bree,
I'm a retired Naval Officer who suffered in silence and forced shame for 30 yrs; hiding myself. Always uncomfortable in my own skin, yet comforted by my uniform too.
God bless you and your activism. I've just read Senior Chief (Kristin) Beck's story (Warrior Princess). I'd give anything to have a beer with the two of you.
Thanks for your service.
Peace.

As former Army Intel (Vietnam era), I appreciate your service and support you and our fellow TG folks in the military Bree. Nice to know our freedoms are being defended by those who really appreciate them. Keep in touch my friend and keep us posted. :battingeyelashes::)

Bree,
While I'm a UK citizen, when these messages surface from any source they have to be considered a suggested threat to any one of the minority groups.
I have to agree with all your points, the one aspect I did find worrying is how someone can even make the suggestion of expecting a country to take a fifty year step backwards. I also think your wife's comment about also taking the families into consideration when talking about the TG community is a very valid one. Many of us are married with children and grandchildren their lives must be considered as well.

I did ask the question in another thread of what happens to the TG/TS employees inside the Penatagon, are their jobs on the line as well.The other comment made in a UK newspaper was the difference of the budget being spent on the trans issue and the one on the supply of Viagra, which is about 4 times greater.

No matter what nation's flag we live under we must support our community, it has been a hard fight and we should all be grateful to people like yourself for standing up and waving the flag for the rest of us.

Wondered where you were. Thank you and congratulations on the promotion. Will keep fingers crossed for the scrambled eggs and eagle.

I think your optimism is justified. I don't think the generals like being told what to do by somebody who's never worn a uniform - unless a clown suit counts as a uniform.

I wish all TG members of the armed services courage in the face of orange adversity.

Thank you for your service to our country. God bless!

Thank you for all you do, Bree. Both for our country, but also in supporting trans folks in the military now. I've always been amazed by what seems to be a disproportionate number of trans ladies especially who have served in the armed forces, and I think it goes back to society and it's push for us to prove ourselves in specific ways and in specific traditional gender roles. But that's another discussion.... :)

No questions, just another shout of support and thanks to you and best wishes to your family.

No questions, Bree. I just want to say that I'm proud to see men and women of your caliber serving in our armed forces. I'm a Viet-Nam era veteran myself, and I know how important it is for outstanding men and women to serve.

Congratulations on your upcoming promotion. It's a real feather in your cap. I hope you have many more.

First, thank you for your service and your courage in coming forward in an organization where I suspect not all are supportive. Retired as O-5, was so glad when last administration allowed trans people to serve openly. I hope that this gets so slow walked in DoD that there is no impact on those currently serving

Thanks for your service. Coming from a retired 30 year navy veteran. Keep up the great work. Good work and service comes from good people. No gender defines if you do your job or not. Having served with both genders my observation is you are either a good sailor or you are not. Your gender identity does not define how you do your job.
Keep doing you best.

Bree, you indicate that it's been a while since you've been active on this site. So you did say ask you anything, so if you wouldn't mind, I would love to hear your story. I know that asking someone to tell their story is kind of open ended, so please feel free to give the Reader's Digest version. I'm interested in things like when you came out at work and how that went.

I'm also curious what it means to be transgender in the eyes of the military. Would a crossdresser that presents as female in the community, but does not dress at work or plan on transitioning, be considered transgender?

Thanks for your service to our country and community. As others have mentioned, I was emotionally affected by Trumps announcement on twitter. We are a community and a family. Keep on fighting. I'm sincerely hoping that Trump fails to get this implemented just like he's failed on so many other fronts. I truly wish you the best.

Thanks for your post here!

Bree
Thank You for all the work you do for the military people.

We can talk again when I see you.

Someone asked about others that may work in the Pentagon. I assume they meant non-military people that are employed as civilians in the DoD. I was a DoA civilian employee for 13 years, so would assume it would not affect them.

Don't know if any of the civilian employees health plans included any Transition costs, since I had no need when I was employed.

Over 20 years ago I was in the military. It is not a dream life by any stretch. Certainly not a life most people want to put up with.
And so there is some silly "tweet" about how TG cannot serve. Yeah some Tg are already in there, perhaps saving bank for transition or whatever. But, I imagine the vast majority of TG probably have no interest in joining.

So I guess here is my question -
Why is Trump singling out TG for being not allowed to get into that mess they call the military? Are there like these droves of TG beating down the door to the recruiters' offices?
I am not saying it is either good OR bad that TG have connections to the service, it just is. Just American people serving their nation, you know?

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Originally Posted by Leelou

Bree, you indicate that it's been a while since you've been active on this site. So you did say ask you anything, so if you wouldn't mind, I would love to hear your story. I know that asking someone to tell their story is kind of open ended, so please feel free to give the Reader's Digest version. I'm interested in things like when you came out at work and how that went.

I'm also curious what it means to be transgender in the eyes of the military. Would a crossdresser that presents as female in the community, but does not dress at work or plan on transitioning, be considered transgender?

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Leelou,

My last post here was about my coming out at work. You can find it here: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...ove&highlight=

Unless you plan on medically transitioning and are working with your doctor, under current regulations, I believe it would depend on how you represent yourself. Though I do not have plans to transition, I absolutely consider myself transgender and am very public about it. If you kept it private and didn't link your life together it's likely the military wouldn't know or care. Under the current regs, gender identity is a protected class.

-Bree

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Nicole Erin

Over 20 years ago I was in the military. It is not a dream life by any stretch. Certainly not a life most people want to put up with.
And so there is some silly "tweet" about how TG cannot serve. Yeah some Tg are already in there, perhaps saving bank for transition or whatever. But, I imagine the vast majority of TG probably have no interest in joining.

So I guess here is my question -
Why is Trump singling out TG for being not allowed to get into that mess they call the military? Are there like these droves of TG beating down the door to the recruiters' offices?
I am not saying it is either good OR bad that TG have connections to the service, it just is. Just American people serving their nation, you know?

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Transgender people join the military for the same varied reasons that cisgender people join the military. I would only be speculating on the real reasons behind the President's tweets and I'll have to leave it at that.

Thank you for taking a front line position on this battle Bree! i hope it does not affect your career negatively! I'm proud to know you and am ready to help!
OohRah!

Genny B

I did my own calculations about the cost of transgender treatment. It comes out to about 6 Tomahawk (cruise missiles) per year.

As point of perspective, when the US retaliated against Syria for the use of chemical weapons, 40 Tomahawks were fired. Most of the news reports talk about 39 hitting the airfield, which is true, because one of the Tomahawks was a dud.

I salute you major. The times have definitely changed since I served. I have said in another post I was torn on this because of my own experience. I can't say that if I was in at this time I would be doing the same job. If I was accepting of and at peace with myself then as I am now I don't think I would have had the fire and anger to push me like I did then. You are an inspiration and make an old Vet proud.

Ok, something I've been wondering. I'm a former Marine Infantryman 0311. So, in wartime, we could be out in the muck, jungle, dirt, etc. I know that women have special hygiene problems. But, so do transsexuals. In fact, dilation. In an extended wartime situation, there may not be time, etc. to dilate. The vagina may close up. Not good for the Miss, and it could lead to infection in TS's. Also, hormones for both sexes. In some situations, hormones may not be at the top of the list of necessary supplies. This means TS's may have to do without. I suppose FTM's would have less of an issue in a combat zone. What are your thoughts on these issues?

Bree Wagner,

Thank-you Ma'am.

Hooah

@--}----
Michelle

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Originally Posted by AmandaM

Ok, something I've been wondering. I'm a former Marine Infantryman 0311. So, in wartime, we could be out in the muck, jungle, dirt, etc. I know that women have special hygiene problems. But, so do transsexuals. In fact, dilation. In an extended wartime situation, there may not be time, etc. to dilate. The vagina may close up. Not good for the Miss, and it could lead to infection in TS's. Also, hormones for both sexes. In some situations, hormones may not be at the top of the list of necessary supplies. This means TS's may have to do without. I suppose FTM's would have less of an issue in a combat zone. What are your thoughts on these issues?

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Amanda,

There are always going to be extreme cases in a wartime environment where bad stuff happens in combat. However, given the way our military fights today, the odds of being in a situation where you're unable to take care of yourself for an extended period of time are very low. Other people deploy with all sorts of medical conditions that are manageable in the field. Hormones is as easy as carrying around a bottle of pills which many people already do for other conditions in deployed. People wouldn't be medically cleared to deploy if their condition didn't allow it, and that would usually only be the case for a short period of time following a major surgery. As long as someone isn't permanently prevented from deploying I believe we should do what we can to retain them. Finally, if it really comes to that worst case we fall back on that core value of service before self.

Bottom line, there are basically no differences between trans medical care and a host of other conditions that people already deploy with.

Thanks for the question!

I am struck (not for the first time, but more profoundly this time) by the large number of veterans and career military here. More fuel for the over-compensating fire? Not sure I buy that theory, but it does seem that we (vets) are a bit over-represented here.

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Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly

I am struck (not for the first time, but more profoundly this time) by the large number of veterans and career military here. .

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Limited studies have shown that trans people serve at 2-3 times the rate of cis people.

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Originally Posted by AmandaM

In fact, dilation. In an extended wartime situation, there may not be time, etc. to dilate. The vagina may close up. Not good for the Miss, and it could lead to infection in TS's

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If I may, Bree? Post-op Trans don't need to dilate daily. It would be unlikely that until healed, they would deploy a TS and then if a post op TS were assigned field duty (as ground pounder or otherwise) I would assume they would have to have medical clearance. After a year, POst-ops don't dilate daily (some don't do daily even before) but usually once a week and can go out ever further. Worse case is they may need step back a size or so when they resume. If you were deployed for months in the field, I would think dilating your vagina would be the least of your concerns. Also, modern warfare doesn't put people in the field for extended periods of time. Even in Nam, you were dropped and picked up in days. I would suspect if a MtF were deployed with men, that when they were back to base there would be a modicum of privacy

Last year I spent 22 days on a training exercise in MS in August, no shower and only one uniform change. In my 24 years the longest was 49 days in the dirt when we pushed into Iraq in 2003.

I have unsuccessfully searched online for an answer to my question. Leelou asked it here (what does transgender mean in the eyes of the military?, and does it include crossdressers?) You didn't answer how the military defined transgender, and you said that if crossdressers keep it private the military won't know or care. Sounds like DADT, right?
Here's my question: how does the military define transgender? Thanks.

Nichole, here is the link to everything the DOD has http://www.defense.gov/News/Special-...sgender-policy

Essentially it boils down to what you do on you own time as long as it doesn't bring discredit to the Military is DADT. It would be extremely frowned upon to show up to any type of event dressed as the opposite sex.

Personal note, we have a lot of FtM and of course women can wear whatever they want and society is ok with it. But if I have females showing up to things dressed in mens clothing (not female equivalents) and then if I have a male show up wearing womens clothes, in the spirit of fairness and equality how do you discipline the male when we have been allowing the females to do it for years. The military's answer was to firmly not have an answer.

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

I have unsuccessfully searched online for an answer to my question. Leelou asked it here (what does transgender mean in the eyes of the military?, and does it include crossdressers?) You didn't answer how the military defined transgender, and you said that if crossdressers keep it private the military won't know or care. Sounds like DADT, right?
Here's my question: how does the military define transgender? Thanks.

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It's an unsettled question from a records perspective. We believe they are going to rely on a medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria, but that presents some loopholes. What about people that are out (me and many others) without a diagnosis or who haven't yet begun any sort of medical treatment.

Unless explicitly forbidden by regulation, gender expression away from duty is up to you. It's not currently DADT, but we might be there again soon. :(

It seems the reversal of established (admittedly evolving) policy is going to create a mess from administrative and ethical perspectives. I have a difficult time imagining how the proponent (s) of re-stigmatizing TG soldiers are going to deal with the many, many thousands who, diagnosed or not, have come out as TG, and continue to serve with honor, bravery and distinction at all pay grades. Do they resign? Or must they vow never to do (or be) this no longer acceptable thing, either on or off duty?

It isn't difficult to see how the reimposition of prejudice against one small group, TG soldiers, might be used to justify similar actions against certain sexual preferences, faiths, certain ethnicities, races....

I had a recent extended discussion with friends (who are ex military) about transgender issues and military service. They felt they were well informed. The misunderstandings were, ummmmm, noticeable.
"People join the military to get their trans surgery paid for by the government."
"Reassignment surgery costs $4M, the taxpayers shouldn't pay for this."
"People taking HRT medications are not combat ready" and other versions of "combat ready" or "effectiveness".

It is easy to sensationalize this issue. It makes a great headline and click bait.

My conversation was a clear reminder that patient and thoughtful education is the antidote. It is an uphill struggle.

One might ask where they are getting their information. But we seem to have have a substantial media segment designed to appeal to and reinforce prejudice, mislead, enrage and divide. And yet, despite this, national polls show that a very substantial majority of Americans favor "allowing" TG people to serve. At the moment, it seems that the vocal, hostile, hateful majority is being left on the wrong side of the facts and the wrong side of history.

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

It seems the reversal of established (admittedly evolving) policy is going to create a mess from administrative and ethical perspectives. I have a difficult time imagining how the proponent (s) of re-stigmatizing TG soldiers are going to deal with the many, many thousands who, diagnosed or not, have come out as TG, and continue to serve with honor, bravery and distinction at all pay grades. Do they resign? Or must they vow never to do (or be) this no longer acceptable thing, either on or off duty?

It isn't difficult to see how the reimposition of prejudice against one small group, TG soldiers, might be used to justify similar actions against certain sexual preferences, faiths, certain ethnicities, races....

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Those are questions we just can't answer yet until we see the details coming out of the WH for how the policy will be implemented.

It's absolutely easy to see us going down the path you mentioned and it's incredibly scary. We believed military purges to be a thing of history, done by the Nazis and the Soviets, but happen here? Sure seemed preposterous not so long ago.

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

One might ask where they are getting their information....At the moment, it seems that the vocal, hostile, hateful majority is being left on the wrong side of the facts and the wrong side of history.

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Good question and I listened very hard to see where their information was coming from. Some of it was rooted in personal experiences from their military service when the armed forces were struggling with racial issues - think Vietnam era. The thoughts seemed to be "it was hard then, this will be hard now". A portion of it was clearly media driven misinformation.

In either case, the antidote seems to be patient, thoughtful discussion and education. Sigh. I was hoping for lightning bolts.

Q> Have you ever felt that you were stationed somewhere that it was too dangerous to dress?

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Originally Posted by CD Tammy

Q> Have you ever felt that you were stationed somewhere that it was too dangerous to dress?

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No, but it's always worth considering where you're going. In any town there are good and bad areas.

Hey, you.

I'll say what I've said before and at our last contact. Else and I stand by you and your wife no matter what happens!

<3

Bree, I want to thank you for your service to this country .

Well said, Bree! Hang in there and never forget that we all honor and support you. :) :thumbsup: