Looking for some good answers and reasons why you want to, why you don't stop, can you stop, why should you stop.
Printable View
Looking for some good answers and reasons why you want to, why you don't stop, can you stop, why should you stop.
I wear women's clothes because I like how they look and feel. I like seeing my legs in hose and my feet in high heeled shoes. I like finishing my day's work and changing into clothes that are totally different. When wearing female clothes the feel good factor is out of this world and why would I want to stop. I am me in whatever clothes I am wearing so I have no gender issues.
I see two ways to approach this question. From a top level crossdressing is stress relief, it feels good, it helps me express my feminine side etc. Digging deeper gets into the underlying causes of dressing and if I could truly answer those questions I would probably be a very successful therapist :lol:
"Why Do You Want To Wear Women's Clothes?"
Because my men's clothes don't fit over my breast forms and hip and butt padding!
Seriously, I don't know why and I long ago gave up worrying about it. I can probably tell you why an engine or motor won't run but the human mind is a mystery. Nobody can tell why a person does something although many will try to make you believe they can.
Because, for me, it's the most natural thing to do
Because they are not BORING!
Cause of the way they feel and look. They are so amazing.
I have since I was little, like many, because I felt some attraction to the clothing. I still like the way they look and the way I feel when I wear them. It feels very natural, an extension of myself. I explain it like the imaginary characters from he movie "A Beautiful Mind", the John Nash story. The desire to dress is always with me, 24/7. It's just that the life I've CHOSEN to lead hasn't allowed to me to do it as I want. Can I stop, as in never dress again? Probably not, I have stopped for very long periods, yes...years even. During those times I have found other outlets for the desire to do it.Quote:
Originally Posted by deebra
May I ask the same questions of you Deebra? :)
I don’t know but I think it is genetic, but needed a “trigger” which flipped on at age 5 or 6 when, for some unknown reason, motivated me to try on a pair of nylon stockings. The pleasure, feelings, sensations, etc. are indescribable, as much today as back then. The pink fog is with me, to some degree 24/7. It’s not the “wanting to” but the “need to”. Can I stop? I suppose, but why? It leads to tension, frustration, etc. as if there isn’t enough around already. I enjoy the comfort and image. My wife can’t understand what comfort there is in underwires, hose, heels, etc. I just smile 😊.
I am not positive of the root cause, why? I just love crossdressing and all things pertaining to it. I just want to enjoy it. Sorry, for such a shallow answer.
It has always been natural for me. I stopped many times through my working years. Now that I am retired, I would never stop.
Actually I don't want to wear women's clothing. For some reason I "need" to wear women's clothing. Life would be a lot simpler if I was not a cross dresser. I've always taken the approach to questions such as your's that there is a difference between the "Why" and "What wearing women's clothing does for me?" Why would any man endure the disapproval of society or the contentious interactions with a wife and family members? Logic would tell us not to do it. Yet, we still do it. I was deeply troubled as a young teenager. What drove me to suddenly don my first feminine garment which was a white nylon full slip? I know what enticed me to do it. It was the lure of the fabric. I fondled those slips and liked their feel. So, I tried one on. Then I was attracted to my mother's floor length nylon night gowns. Again, the feel lured me. But what the heck lured me to the rest of it; the stockings and girdle, the panty, the dress, smeared on makeup, hair spray? It never made sense. I cannot recall anything I incurred in my mouth. I had no sisters. I had no female cousins. I did not play with girls. I was strictly all boy. But, something or someone drove me to it.
So, I do not have a clue why I engage in this anti societal behavior. I suspect one of two things. There is a dna component to my activity. There is a sliver of some gene that governs this activity. Why does a person become an alcoholic? Or obese? Or a drug user? I think when my male personna needs a break...needs to hide away..."she" comes out. Yes, it is all too common on this forum to read the words, "stress relief." I can push those manly pressure cooker things away. I can become a pseudo woman. I can bake a cake or prepare a meal attired in male clothing just as well as attired as a woman. But, yet I feel different.
Oh, there is so much latitude in styles. I still and always will love the feel of nylon panties and slips on my rear end and legs. Nylon is still a lure. But, there is also the fabrics. And, the colors and the patterns. As a child I was artistic. I love to draw and did win some prizes in school. I still love growing flowers for their beauty..the forms and colors.
So, there is something or someone else who has influenced me. I never gave it much thought until the last five years when my wife started to watch programs on "past life experiences." Was there someone lingering inside me who influenced me? Perhaps. Long before I put on that first slip I did have a vivid recollection of I as a young woman. The dream was horrific. The image is still imprinted in my mind. Where or why would a four year old get such dreams?
I'm a peace with what I do and totally satisfied with my journey through life. We have made it together.
Good ole "Why?" never an answer to the question and even if you do get close to one, it's never enough to stave off further questions. If we knew the answer to this then we wouldn't have a hard time trying to explain it to others. Life would be simpler.
I also agree with Stephanie, Need is a better word.
Why would I stop?? This is who I am.
I don't know why and I have given up caring why. I have accepted myself and I love myself.
Why do I do it? I have no clue, but my feelings are that it's genetic. I have my reasons for this but suffice it to say it's not a choice, it's more a calling and I answered...
I want to wear them because of the good feelings I have when I do and because it helps me accept all of who I am. I've explored whether it was influence of sisters and mom, early sexual experiences tied to wearing lingerie and pantyhose and panties, an escape from the stresses of my every day life. I echo others in saying the "why" is elusive. I don't stop because it feels like stopping is rejecting a part of me. I don't know that I could stop. If I viewed it as harmful to my relationships I could stop with help. Because my partner is accepting of this part of me, and because it is done privately I don't think I should stop. Do you feels as though you should stop Deebra?
Why? because it feels normal and always has, as for stopping - no reason to.....................Debra
I wear women’s clothing because I love the way they look and feel on me. Nothing makes my legs look as sexy as pantyhose.
Because it's exciting! It turns me on! It's an ever changing past time with no limits or end! I love how they feel and I look!:daydreaming:
And, I enjoy going out and socializing with other dressers!:hugs:
Have always been attracted to them and they feel good on me when Im wearing soft n silky things under the clothes. I love looking in the mirror after I'm dressed in my outfits and think I should have been a GG at birth. It's something inside me that has come and gone over and over in my life. It's hard to stop but I did somewhat slow down to a very slow once or twice a year thru college and raising kids. After I retired it has come back with a stronger appeal and with a vengeance. I love it more now than ever before.
There are about as many answers to this as there are crossdressers. For me, the answer is, the clothing feels nicer, the materials are so much softer and prettier, and although I probably could stop, I have no real desire to. Everything femme just feels so much better.
I will never know "why". I do know I need to express the female side of my personality. I like the feel of female clothing and I love the look when fully dressed with make up and wig. It is relaxing and does relieve stress, but I did not know any of this when I started.
OK, Yes it does relax me, and they feel good wearing them; Bringing out the Fem side of me.
But part of it just might be the wearing of something that Society says that I am not allow to do.
In short, I am getting away with a NO-NO. I know it is a flimsy reason, but I just thought of it,
And I did not see anyone else bring up the subject. So I did.
I just like wearing a Skirt or a Dress.
Rader
Hi Deebra
Just to echo what everyone else has said, I'm just doing what my body tells me to do, it's so natural, I feel special when dressed and I love dressing but given the choice and the hurt it has brought on my wife and marriage I wouldn't choose to wear women's clothes unless I needed to, but I couldn't stop now I enjoy it too much.
Jennie
Each day as I go thru my transition it becomes natural and I’ve always liked the look and feel of ladies clothing
I feel myself powerful
I am happy in my own little world.
This has not always been the case, I have two identities and enjoy using them.
I don't think I could ever stop, I don't want to either.
Jayne44C let me answer:
I believe I was born with a part of my brain being feminine and therefore on certain things I think and have feminine needs just like a woman and I satisfy these needs by wearing girl clothes and emulating women and I love it, it's as natural as eating when you are hungry.
Also my blood type was checked at birth and it was CD feminine, not AB negative, this is another reason I wear a bra and panties but it was a pink thong today.
I love to see women with killer bodies, pretty faces and how nice they look in their clothes; I also like when they bend over and show cleavage, nice butts and beautiful legs, this wants me to be like them and yes I find this sexy. Men and their clothes look nice when they are properly dressed but the two feelings are as different as a tricycle and a race car.
I agree with all the good female feelings described above and it's with me 24/7.
Just got home from shopping, wore heeled booties, tight girl jeans, top and undies, blended just fine. Bought a bra, panties and two tops, wearing the bra and panties now under tight girl shorts and the new top.
Man, I Feel Like A Woman!!!
Absolutely love your answer, Macada. Me too. (read my signature line!)Quote:
Originally Posted by macada10
The answer may be slightly different for every man enthralled with women's clothing; so complex a behavior and motivations. But I think my wife summed it up best (when we were discussing my CD behavior). She was researching CD/TG for her own informative benefit. She said she didn't Google "crossdressing" or " transgender". She Googled "men who want to be women". Makes sense, and just about sums it up.
At the root core of all the behavior, be it CD or TG, we are Men Who Wish To Be Women [in some form or another]. I'm not ashamed, BTW.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
Rachel,Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Leigh
So glad to read that. It DOES become more natural. It just feels right.
Most of all, it's great to read that you are growing, progressing and becoming the woman you know inside you are. Be at peace.
There's a lot to be said of us being' born this way' if that is true or not for everyone I don't know. For me it is not for relaxation or the thrill of it (maybe in my youth), but it just feels 'right' presenting as a female. Why do I like Chinese food and not Indian? It is just the way it is. I'm not sure if I'll ever know the true answer, but I do know it is part of me and always has been.
As Deebra said, I truly believe I was born with a very strong feminine side.I dress to present it, love it, and could not stop.
It may have been designed for women but it is mine - therefore not women's clothing.
Why? I don't really know but I've been attracted to the clothing from a very young age.
Can I stop? Absolutely, but I have no reason or inclination to stop. As far as I'm concerned I think I'd like to go further rather stop.
well first off: I don't want to wear women's clothes...I want to present as a woman. Why would someone want to present as a woman?? Well, for one thing, women are WAY BETTER than men. Men are kind of irritating, and while I don't mind being one, Isure do enjoy getting away from that every so often and blending in with the girls
Like Stephanie47, I wish I didn't do this! But in my case, I think it's that I'm sexually attracted to the feminine: pretty girls and the pretty clothes they wear. It is this attraction that compels me to want to be one of them (from time to time).
I like wearing women clothe because it feels normal for me, always did from my youth, where itwill brings me, future will tell.
I wear them because I feel more comfortable wearing some high heels and a nice dress than I do wearing a men's jeans and a sweatshirt. Even when I was younger, I didn't feel right wearing boys clothes and something didn't feel right but because of my age and circumstances at the time, I couldn't be who I wanted to be. Now as Im older, I can express myself how I want and it feels incredible. I get so excited when I buy some new lingerie, a new dress or a pair of heels and I never feel that when buying anything male related.
Because I am transgender. Dressing makes me feel authentic. Happy too. As an added benefit dressing in feminine attire is hella sensual.
Ive just developed a real disdain for men's clothes due to so much monochrome, boring colors; women's items are so much more colorful and it brings me happiness with the bright colors & selection.
the texture and on a lesser extent, the visuals, heightens my sensation --which can overwhelm highly stressful states (of mind.)
i work in finance in major cities, currently nyc, and men's clothes can be expressive and exciting, and expensive. i like dressing up male when it is called for, but it can't compete with the sensory overload of feminine attire.
I wear women's clothes because I need to.
I believe it's just the way my brain is hardwired.
I think that when I wear women's clothes, by brain has an automatic and involuntary response. It releases a host of neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and others) which produce sensations of well being, pleasure. gratification and personal fulfillment. It releases stress and makes me happy. That's enough of a reason for me.
Long before I knew the difference in clothes for the sexes, I was maybe 2 or 3 in a room full of women getting ready to go out. They were doing their makeup and wearing their slips. I watched them pull their slips up and gently guide their nylons up over their legs and attach them to their suspenders. Everyone was happy and I knew then that one day I would be doing that. When I was 5 my mother put me in my sister's panties one day as I was out of clean underwear. That was the day that I wanted to wear panties for the rest of my life.
Its what I feel I'm supposed to wear. Women wear women's clothes. I identify more as a woman than a man. The very few men's clothes I have are a "necessary evil".
I like how I look in women's clothes. I like how I feel in women's clothes. I like the process of dressing up and transforming myself. I like that women have so many choices in styles, colors and materials, quite unlike men. I like putting together an outfit, finding the perfect skirt to go with my favorite top. In some sense it's an engineering problem, but one where form matters more than function. And, to top it off, I love shopping for women's clothes. Honestly, I never understood what "retail therapy" meant, until I learned to shop for women's clothes.
As a guy, I shop like a hunter. Go into the store, and grab a couple of shirts in my usual size and color. As a guy, if the store doesn't have it's sizes and colors organized, I just walk out.
As a girl, I'm a gatherer. I'm willing to go through a whole rack of clothes, piece by piece. My favorite shopping place is "Final Act" super discount sections at Macy's. In terms of price and selection, it's like shopping at a thrift store, and there are amazing deals to be found if you have the patience.
It feels like the right thing to do.
It makes my mind in sync my body.
Ditto to all the other answers and I think it is FUN
I like to look pretty,its exciting. I love to emulate
attractive and sexy young women.
I have always been drawn to women's clothing. My earliest memories is wearing my mother's Merry Widow 4/5 years of age. If I had to chose though it is the fabrics.
I have asked myself this question many times. I have answers but not an explanation. My mother was a very stylish woman in terms of her outfits and poise. Freud would tell you I am attempting to gain her approval. I was brought up surrounded by wonderful fabrics and colours and I wanted to experience this for myself. I tried it and I loved it. Though the fabrics are good what I like most is how I look. Women have told me I look better in women's clothes than men's - somehow they suit me. Though I say so myself, I have fabulous legs that some women friends have said should always be on show. I have breast forms but do not use hip padding - my waist is narrower than my hips. I find the clothes more comfortable - I do not wear shapeware and some bras are more comfortable than others and I tend not to wear heels on pavements for long periods so I avoid the more tedious aspects of womenswear. I find panties and sheer tights less restricting on my nether regions than male underwear and trousers (I never wear women's trousers though I own some). Because the look is so important to me I have had my colours and style professionally assessed (House of Colour - highly recommended) and that feeling that in a particular outfit you have absolutely aced it is unbeatable. Having said that I have had the same analyses as a male and there is no doubt that when you put on the suit and tie and get that right it can feel almost as good - but that tie is never going to be comfortable. The ability to wear a skirt or dress most of the time (except at work, where I am part time) gives me a wonderful range of choice I would not have as a man.. I dislike make up and find wigs uncomfortable so only use them when going out as Susan, something that has fallen to just a few times a year rather than a few times a month. In summary, skirts and dresses and everything that goes with them are FUN - I can have that fun even as a man, and I do. Women clearly get pleasure from their clothes and it may be that the clothes have an attraction in themselves. I look at some dresses and wonder how anyone can NOT want to wear this. Obviously a bra and forms takes the experience beyond just clothing (clothes have no gender - people do) but the reality is that women's clothes look better if worn with a bust because they were designed for this. Anyway, even though I do not regard myself as a woman when dressed up, there is a certain satisfaction in achieving an elegant womanly appearance and getting the outfit together - I would not dream of wearing stuff that did not work together. Perhaps the urge to be the best I can be at wearing women's clothes is actually a male trait? Those who identify as women would be horrified by the thought that this was a hobby, but perhaps for some of us it is just that - it is compulsive, and I spend a LOT of time and money on it but in the end it is of value only to me (and rather too many retailers!), so it is a bit selfish in that respect. Though lots of women have a compulsive need to keep buying new clothes and clearly have something similar to us (similar but not the same) these women generally get rid of stuff to make room for the new. I only get rid of things that fall apart or no longer fit and can't justify alteration so that my wardrobe of skirts, dresses, tops and shoes is at a level that would be regarded as a bit disturbed in a women, let alone a man. I have a large house so have room for my 1000 skirts, almost 900 dresses and about 2000 tops, with 250-300 pairs of shoes and a corresponding choice of underwear and accessories. I know - it is bonkers - but I love it. Have I answered the question - probably not - but it was fun thinking about it.
Simple question.
Very difficult to answer.
For me, I've always known that I was supposed to be a girl - but I also knew that I wasn't one. Praying for God to fix it when I was little and promising to be 'real good' so he could see I deserved it didn't help.
Somehow I wanted (needed?) to be as feminine as I could, but with a VERY male, angry, frequently drunk father in the formative years limited my options severely.
I wasn't allowed to grow my hair long. playing with my sister's stuff was too.
I took to more neutral activities like reading, watching TV, and playing tag (etc) with the neighborhood kids.
Still - I WANTED to be a girl, and needed to let that side out somehow. So- I would sneak some of my sister's clothes and put them on at night.
I also discovered that spending the night at my grandparents got me to wear one of her housedresses as pajamas, since they didn't have anything for me to wear. LOVED IT!
So - long story short (too late?) I dress as a way to allow my feminine side to express itself. I've tried going 'all the way' as well as quitting completely. Neither worked for me. Wearing something feminine all the time, but being for the most part closeted, seems to work the best for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deebra
First, it's not a want -- but a need. At least for me, anyway.
"I need to wear a dress -- right now! Hmm, let's see... I suppose I want to wear the slinky blue one. Just not feeling the red poofy one today."
See the difference? ;)
Believe me, if this was a true "want," I don't feel I would have ever put on my first fem article of clothing. *And* kept on doing it off & on my entire life, starting from a fairly young age. *And* suffered all the consequences of doing so, in all sorts of ways.
To me, "want" means I have the choice to do something, or not to do something.
"Needing" to do something, means I pretty much have no say in the matter, that I just have to go along for the ride.
Now that that's out of the way... :D
Yes, I have stopped. Sometimes I had forced myself to -- yet that only seemed to make it come roaring back somewhere down the road.
Other times, I let the stop come naturally. Of course, it still eventually comes back on its own. Without all the extreme swings associated with the above, however.
*Why* should I stop? I suppose it would make my life easier in certain ways. Albeit perhaps less fun, less "unique," less interesting. But having a more "normal" life would enable me to fit in better with more people, I suppose. It would give me more confidence & more of an ability, in a way, to do certain things in life that most people have a much easier time with, without all this CD'ing/gender "baggage" holding them back.
Of course, the same could also be said of being a little taller, having more money, being more extroverted, etc.
Hey, I accept & embrace the hand I was dealt with in this life... The good, the bad, and the ugly.
No other way, really. Just gotta make the most of it. :thumbsup: