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I have never worn a wig before and have never considered my face as feminine enough to pass even with a proper wig and makeup. So all my dressing has been clothing only in the comfort of my home. Will going to a wig store and getting a proper style get me passable enough to go out in public do you think?
Just asking about your experiences with this since I haven't posted a face pic here. :-)
As with other girls, I do have a favorite go to wig that just frames my face perfectly. And, I have that style in different colors. Not the most expensive but, it just seems to be the exact correct style and fit.
Now then, passing is yet another thing. A lot of us feel as though passing is a secondary issue when you just own the situation.
Same wig. Different colors.
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I have looked at Instagram and other sites, and I have noticed that a thicker and long wig,
will make your face look narrower, so therefore it will make your profile look more feminine.
Just my 2 cents worth, happy wig shopping , Hugs
If you have never posted a pic how would we know? There is no way we could answer that question.
You have never worn a wig or make up how would you know if it makes you look more like a woman?
Remember passing is hard for most CDs very few actually do pass.
Very few crossdressers are completely passable but a realistic wig will make you more passable. Wigs, makeup and jewelry all help immensely if used correctly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stilleto Gurl
Exactly right Ressie
Yes, absolutely. Its opened a whole new world. It’s fun going through wig catalogs or web sites. I have long, short, straight, curly wigs in different colors. Like other things in our world, deciding which one to wear is fun depending on outfit, mood, occasion, etc. the better ones can be pricey, but are worth it. I think you will be pleased and surprised what a difference there is. It does take time and practice to style, which is fun. Like my wife, you’ll have good and bad hair days. Good luck.
As stated before by others, if being passable is your goal, you may well be over reaching. A nice wig, well suited to the shape of your face and skin color can certainly improve your appearance and help you blend in. By all means go to a shop and get fitted and styled by a pro.
The right wig for your face will certainly help but there's a lot more to it than that for passing; your mannerisms, the way you walk and move, your voice, I could go on. But, bair in mind very few of us pass but we still go out there. If you look good and have the confidence you'll be okay.
i would say if you really took your time choosing and paid abit more for a wig it will be helpful.
My wig is always the most expensive thing I’m wearing, usually cost more than everything else added together. It’s not a question of passing, it’s about trying to look my best, which I do for me and no one else.
IMO if you want a more feminine looking face, get a wig that will give you a rounder faceshape.
Yesterday at the mall I encountered a sales associate who had a buzz cut. There was no doubt she was a natural woman. I see many women with rather short hair. If it is styled correctly the look can look cute. The problem is you know you are a man wearing women's clothing, so that's what your mind is seeing. What qualifies as a feminine face? I see some picture postings of plus size women on this site. They have fuller rounder faces than some who are thin or even too skinny. A fuller face tends to obscure angular features and the Adam's Apple. A long wig helps soften the angular facial features and obscure the Adam's Apple.
My personal obstacle for going out in the day time is my height. Yes, I've heard time and time again there are tall women. Not too many are six foot without adding the additional height of a three inch heel. I have pictures of myself among a group of women and I tower over them. I will draw the attention of anyone I encounter. But, what if I were an ordinary misses' height of five foot seven. A nice wig will soften my facial features which are angular. Maybe I would wear a pair of sunglasses. Maybe I would wear a sweater dress to obscure the Adams's Apple. I'm trying to say that it is the total package and not just a wig. If you're worried about the female form/figure not all women have a Barbie doll exaggerated figure. Properly fitting dresses will aid with that.
I've found many women identify themselves with their hair. If you want to see if a wig will work to solve any insecurities buy an expensive wig before spending a lot of money on a wig made of natural hair. It may give you the confidence to go further.
To the OP's original question--you need to post some pictures both before and after if we're to be able to give you an answer. And don't be surprised if you don't get the answer you want.
Jon
Simple answer is yes. Go to a wig store. They will help pick out the right wig.
My friend's wanted me to stop wearing them , so I've grown my hair and have it dyed. The last wig I was wearing, was this short bob. A couple people commented at the time about my new hair style, no wig. I thought at the time, like really you thought that was my real hair.
No question about it , I remember the first time I put a wig on with full makeup, I looked in the mirror and the guy had disappeared ! I used the picture as my first avatar for a while. That series of pictures meant so much to me , a turning point I found I could really pull this off and finally let my femme side out of the closet. Now I'm comfortable going out socially , you have to try it to find your true self .
Like Teresa above my post, the first time I looked into the mirror, with the right wig, I disappeared and she was there. I strongly agree that the right wig, whether expensive or not, makes a whole lot of difference. I had many wigs that I thought were good wigs but I still saw myself when looking into the mirror. Once I found my wig, I ordered 2 of them ;) There are many wig shops out there dying to get your business, visit a few and see what they have to offer.
Remember if you go to a professional wig shop listen to the assistant they are the pros and know what works and what doesn't.
One wig you may love and one you may want so bad may not look good on you so leave your mind open to other choices.
Thats why you go to a professional they will have hundreds of wigs to choose from.
Buy a quality wig it will last you a long time with proper care.
No need to break the bank on one but don't buy a super cheap one.
Passing is a myth. The vast majority of us will be "made" in short order when out in public. "Blending", on the other hand, is a realistic goal. Hair is an important part of that. When a part of an age and venue appropriate look, you will escape notice more often and when you do not, you will find that people will politely accept the presentation and act accordingly.
My first experience at a small well stocked wig shop was amazing. The owner was more than friendly and helped me choose a wig that looked right for me, and it was not the blonde one that I longed for (that came later). She readily admitted that she had many male customers and made me feel completely comfortable. If you get lucky like me you won't forget the fun experience.
Will adding a wig allow you to pass as a women in public? Unlikely.
For me the hair completes the look and turns me from drab to Abbey, the hair is the biggest part of the transformation for me
Definitely, look at the boy mode/girl mode pictures in the picture portion of the forum.
I agree that a professional wig shop will give you the best help. However, one thing that you need to consider is that their prices are usually the highest, significantly higher than other sources, sometimes for the same quality wig. If you are just starting out, then you should also consider how often you dress up completely now, how long and if you go out now or in the future. I personally recommend looking for a beauty supply store more popular in larger cities. The ones I am talking about are usually closer to the inner city and sell a lot of inexpensive and sometimes cheaper quality beauty products, and have a decent wig selection of various colors, styles and lengths, including some human hair blend or full human hair wigs at very reasonable prices, from $30 to a little over $100. They usually have someone who has experience fitting wigs (not as good as the professional shops, but still good enough for a beginners needs). That way you can try a few styles on and see for yourself what works for you. If you pick the wrong first wig at least you will not be out $200-$300 dollars. Over time, you will know what works and can start buying online where the prices go down for the same quality. Later after you know what works for you, that expensive wig professional can help you find the perfect wig. Also, sta7y away from a pure human hair wig, because most of them need to be styled aftereach wash, which for a beginner can be a daunting task to say the least. Good luck and have fun.
According to my hair stylists, your wig will make or break your appearance. A cheap, bad fitting wig is just that--shouts what it is to the observer.
Jodi
I asked my SO yesterday about going out in public for the first time. She said sure, but only if I buy myself a new wig!! I've just got a cheap $20 costume wig and she said even though she like the colour, she thinks I definitely need Something better. Oh well I'm not complaining... I was always worried she would have an issue with wigs and now she's telling me to go buy a better one! Yay! Any good brands you are aware of I should be looking at?
The wig is a magic device.
It will instantly transform you into every bit the woman you wish to be.
Hell.... when I donned mine for the first time, I lost my male genitalia. It just vanished. Amazing.
As many have stated, passing is rare if people look closely enough. Blending in is what many of us are after, and for that I'd say that a good quality wig will help. Going to a store and trying several on and getting SA advice will go a long way to get hair that properly fits your face.
IMO, a good wig makes a huge difference. A cheap wig is a cheap wig and can be spotted from afar.
Being passable is based on several things and having a good head of hair is part of it.
I have a synthetic wig from a wig store and another human hair wig. When I bought the human hair wig I spent an hour with the owner of the store ad she had me try on a dozen different styles with a wide range of prices, both human and synthetic. The human hair wig I purchased is superior compared to my other one. The synthetic model hangs well enough but there is a difference when I move. The human hair wig acts like real hair.
It certainly can't hurt! But unless you're in the 1% that can pass, you're not going to pass, no matter what you do to yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stilleto Gurl
As can male bodies in dresses. Unless all of the rest of you resembles a female, a wig isn't going to make much of a difference in whether you pass or not. It's not all about the hair. It's the whole person.Quote:
Originally Posted by BettyMorgan
I think the hair thing basically comes from the fact that if a guy has long hair, and is seen from behind, SOMETIMES he will get mistaken for a woman. But full frontal? Nope. Way too many clues that it's a dude. Facial structure, adams apple, hands, feet, knobby knees/legs, lack of any hourglass curve to the waistline, the way we walk, the way we talk, the list just goes on and on.
This comes from a closeted girl, so factor this into my reply. I do agree the majority of us will not pass, including myself. I envy those who do in a creepy way! Anything you can do to make yourself "blend in" or not draw attention to yourself helps. A better wig will certainly go a long way to doing that. They're like the icing on the cake, so to speak. They're not cheap, trust me I know, as many of us do. However the extra expense of a better wig is worth the expenditure, if you can afford it.
You're free to wear a pink wig if you like but, how many women actually wear pink hair or wigs on a daily basis? This has been discussed to death but, if you really want to blend in, dress like most women do. Most women don't wear mini dresses and heels to the supermarket or to run basic errands. Save those outfits for nighttime, special occasions (Halloween, New Years, etc..) Jeans, shorts, sun dresses, yoga pants, tee shirts, appropriate blouses, etc.. may not be very sexy or our idea of feminine clothing. IMHO if you're goal is to pass or draw as little attention to yourself as possible, don't dress like you're auditioning to be a VS catalog model...as fun as that might be! : )
There's a lot of things that go into making oneself "passable". A wig is just one of many. The key to going out publicly and not drawing attention to yourself (passing) is to wear what most women wear....in other words don't go to extremes in clothing, makeup, jewelry, and wigs. Virtually all CD'ers who go out will have times when they're spotted so be prepared for that.
Nobody here can tell you if a good wig will make you "passable", but you'll certainly look more like a woman with a feminine wig that without one unless you have long hair and no bald spots.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stilleto Gurl
I suggest getting a decent wig for dressing. Even if you don't go out in public, you will look much more like a woman at home.
BTW: Many people have commented about "passing". To me, passing is a moving target. A crossdresser might "pass" in one situation but not another. For example, many of us could "pass" to a person walking or driving by if we're sitting on a park bench or walking down the sidewalk in the city. Or window shopping in a crowded mall.
That same crossdresser would probably not pass walking into a restaurant, sitting down and ordering lunch. There's too much time for others to study her and of course she would have to use her voice to order lunch.
And I've probably said this a hundred times but if you are six feet tall and hope to pass, don't make yourself six feet, three or four inches tall by wearing heels. Wear flats. Give yourself a chance.
My advice on wigs comes from own poor choice.
I went to a wig shop and was helped by a very nice sales associate who did a great job with selecting and fitting my wig. The problem is that I went in with a poorly chosen set of criteria for what I wanted in a wig. I wanted a wig that would hide my male features so I picked one that was slightly longer than shoulder length, curly, and covered my ears. It looked absolutely fantastic during the fitting. Unfortunately ever since then it just looks like an angry mop on my head because there is too much hair, too much curl, and is just a very complicated wig to style on my own.
Next time I am going to select a much simpler hairstyle that I can style on my own and one that appears more like a natural every day style that women wear.
I agree 100% with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
If a cross-dresser wants to move about in public without attracting excessive unwanted attention, it's best to give off as many feminine cues as possible. So you find clothing and body shaping accessories appropriate to your age and shape, you practice with makeup to feminize your face and skin, pick accessories and shoes need to fit your planned activity as well. Your attitude and mannerisms have been adjusted to be feminine as well and all of this needs to fit somewhat with what you have observed the women in that same environment are wearing and doing. So after ALL that work on makeup, mannerisms, picking the right outfit and becoming comfortable wearing a purse, why not get a good wig? The proper wig will change your look markedly, in fact you'll find scores of posts here on CD.com suggesting the wig is a nearly magical thing.
So yeah, get a reasonably good wig and don't be afraid to work with the pros at your local wig shop. There is a shop near me that is a "member" of our support group and refers potential members to us on a regular basis. They understand and will not be surprised to have you walk in as want to look at wigs with feminine styling and length.
Like the others have said a wig that fits you in style and color will make a big difference in presentation. That said, it is still the overall look and demeanor that really makes a difference. I think that attitude makes a big difference. If you act confident and look like you belong then people will assume or at least be reluctant to challenge your presentation. If you appear nervous or skittish then you attract attention. There are plenty of women who are not the best looking or have curvy figures, but they act like they belong because they do. Most of our interactions are fleeting, so if the person sees a confident person, then there is a moment of doubt. If not, who cares you'll probably never see them again.
Hi Stilleto Gurl; "Will going to a wig store and getting a proper style get me passable enough to go out in public do you think?"
Probably not. Just getting a wig is only part of the equation. But I remember the first time I put on makeup and then a wig; I just stared into the mirror looking at this pretty woman and not even caring what just happened to the man. It is one of those moments that will stick with you for the rest of your life. I am different than most here, I say go to a costume shop and buy a couple or a few cheap wigs, take them home and play around with them and see which one you like the best, use that as your benchmark for shopping for a better wig. I think mannerisms, dress to blend, then wig and makeup is the order to getting out. For me, I get clocked just buying a pack of cigarettes; so what do I know:eek: Lots of good advice here. Just have fun! Take care, Brenda
Ok from my own experience and from tips from my makeup artist go to a wig store,no Halloween wigs or party city wigs. A $20 wig will do don't spend too much that's crazy!Synthetic are great look great also.
Get a facial done at a salon. Get a clean close shave and use a good razor. Get a professional makeover CDing is an art and we are the canvas for a painting of our souls. So yes get a good makeover.
I have been going out en femme for about 13 years been dressing since I was 8 or 10 years old. My first times out were quick but I just kept pushing it a little further and now I'm here. I know I don't pass to save my life,my shoulders, my back,and my hands give me away.
You tell me. This is me, with and without my human-hair wig. In the with-wig photo, I also have feminine eyeglasses, makeup, and of course my breast forms and female clothing. But in my opinion, that wig is the biggest feminizing factor.
A good wig shop can help you select a wig that looks right with your complexion and face shape. A good quality human-hair wig will look better and move more like real hair than a cheap one will. But even an $80 synthetic wig can do a lot to feminize your appearance.
Will it work magic for everyone? Obviously not. There are lots of MtF ladies who would never truly 'pass', no matter how well they try to do makeup, or how good the wig. And you also need to work on voice, speech patterns, movement and many other factors if you really want to 'pass'. I don't know what you look like, so I can't say for sure if a wig will be 'enough' to help you pass.
I just know what works for me. I go where I please as a woman, and get no bad reactions. I get accepted as a woman and addressed as a woman, pretty much wherever I go. The only people who usually make it clear that they know I am trans are ones who are familiar with the tells to look for, or people that I have told, or someone who has seen the male gender marker on my ID, or people who hear my voice when I am quite tired and less than usually careful to keep it sounding feminine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly
What Kelly said... Truth!
If you are a genetic male, that has had testosterone coursing in your body since puberty and decades beyond... the chances that will pass are extremely slim. I’ve seen photos of transwomen who have been on hormones for two and three years, had facial feminization surgery and STILL have a hard time passing as a woman.
With that in mind, a wig can make huge strides toward blending or at least being made but without negative attention.
For a long time I didn’t have a wig and thought to wear a hijab. I love the feeling I get from wearing a hijab and how it looks when I’m able to tie and pin it correctly.
But when I got a wig and then tweezed it and worked the part, the difference was remarkable. And I didn’t even spend that much. I think I got my go-to wig (a lace-fromt) for 50 dollars on sale at one of those beauty stores that sells wigs, extensions and all kinds of things.
Check out one of those places. You won’t regret it.
Where can I order that wig?Quote:
Originally Posted by IleneD
A Good wig can help tremendously, but it is more about the overall presentation.