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Daughter and I were talking! Me going out as Lana Mae came up! She said it is OK to go out as Lana Mae and I can dress in the house and go out and tell her good bye and walk right past her dressed but not hang around the house all day dressed, because I am still daddy! ( one of the longest run on sentences in history!) Do I smell new found freedom? Sounds good to me! Then there is the neighbors! Oh, well one hurdle at a time! Hugs Lana Mae
Sounds like some significant progress.
Is it your house or hers? If yours, your rules and if your daughter can't handle it, as the saying goes, "Don't let it hit you on the way out".
Jon
Probably your daughter is accepting but really you are still her daddy, daughters are special and they always love their daddy's. They consider themselves always Daddies little girl.
Honestly, who cares what the neighbours think lol. That sounds like some great news Lana Mae! Congratulations. My SO just gave me permission to go out for the first time too so I kinda know how you feel.
Kim-Great progress!
Joni-It is my house and my rules and she is very accepting! I respect her and will not force the issue! I do however respect your opinion!
Jaylyn-Yes, she is daddy's little girl despite being 36! She carries many of daddy's traits!
Kas-Yes I know they are just neighbors!
Thanks for your responses!
Hugs Lana Mae
When my daughter discovered that I crossdressed, she was very accepting. But she told me that she would never be interested in seeing me dressed, or to see photos of me dressed. I told her, "That's great - because I don't want you to see me dressed either!" :) She moved out years ago, but I still recall how we laughed about that....
You know its great that she accepts her Dad and knows there is nothing to worry about she still has her Dad.
As much as they will always be our little girls, we will always be there daddy's. I love the fact that you are both communicating and that huge. Thanks for sharing, proof that there could be a pot at the end of that rainbow.
Lana,
Small steps in the right direction . OK you value and respect your daughter and she's passing the benefits on to you, I'm sure you'll get there , she knows it's still you and just has to get use to you looking a little different .
When I move on to my new home my daughter is OK about me dressing when she calls despite not seeing me and her husband feels the same way, we will have to watch how my 5 year old granddaughter takes it as she's mildly autistic and hasn't gained all her speech back yet . As for neighbours well I will be asking the neighbourhood if they wish to attend my painting group which I intend to run as Teresa .
Piora-I had a transformation done with many pictures taken on the camera my daughter bought me! Yes she wanted to see them all!
Tracii-Yes and this makes me very happy!
Maria-Yes there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and good communication will usually get you there!
Teresa-Go for it,hon!
Thanks for sharing your responses!
Hugs Lana Mae
I'm in the my house my rules camp. My 27 year old son lives with me and he has no problem with my crossdressing and if he did it wouldn't make any difference to me. He invites friends over and I don't change my clothes, I am what I am, don't like it? Leave.
Hi Lana Mae, I would never want to lose that very special Father & Daughter relationship between my two:love: (48 & 50year old daughters
although I am not out to them.
What you have there is something so very special between the both of you, Just don't ever overwhelm her with Lana Mae,
the whole program is something that you totally control.>Orchid..:daydreaming::...
If you go out as Lana how do the neighbors not know? You have an open discussion but it seems the two of you are at loggerheads, keep the lines of communication open or be the "daddy" and put your foot down.
That is great that you have a good relation with your daughter. I know my daughter would not accept me.
Lana Mae, that's great news, minus the grammar issues.
Patience always pays off in the long run, so pleased its working out for you, but at the end of the day it is your house so if you want to spend the day at home dressed and have an inside Lana day what is stopping you?, just do it, after all it is your house, just be you.
It is so nice that your daughter is so accepting. I am not sure if my daughter knows of my CDing, but I would not let her see me dressed regardless. She does not live at my house so I do not have to "lay down the law":D.
Lana Mae great news great progress congratulations darling. Quick question though to piggy back on this thread,why do we need to get permission from other woman (i.e.wife,SO,daughters)to dress how we feel happy? I understand kids around nosy neighbors, this is a no brainer. I dress but in no way want to force my femme side on no one. I'm closeted and when I come out and or if my SO finds out I will not let her dictate when I could dress , I'll respect our home and plus we have little ones, so I will dress elsewhere not at home.
The other day I was talking with my son and his fiancee about their upcoming wedding and he asked, "Should I call you Pat instead of Dad when we're in a crowd?" And before I could even speak, a huge tear rolled down my face and I told him "It would break my heart if you ever did that. I will never willingly give up that title." Earlier in the year, at the engagement party, I overheard someone say of me, "She's the Father of the Groom." And I'm totally OK with that.
My girlfriend is TS and she's the same way with her daughter. They celebrate Father's Day and she (daughter) often calls her (Father) Dad.
You earned that title.
Pat,
If you put all those permutations into the game of " Guess Who," it could make for some very interesting questions !!
That must have been a very touching moment when your son asked that , how many hard fought years has it taken to hear achieve that moment of recognition ?
Great progress. Enjoy the added freedom
Hi Lana Mae,
I'm pleased for you that you are getting increasingly more acceptance from your daughter! :).
I do not have children, and I am not married. Therefore, negotiating relationships is not something that I am well versed in. However, my instincts align with the views of Bobbi.
I have concerns about the "laying down the law" approach in such an important relationship, especially as your daughter is a full adult, but you have heard from members here for whom it works. However, I have also heard a lot about "baby steps", and they seem to have a proven track record in many situations. So, in a similar vein to what Bobbi said about being patient, I would think to start with what is comfortable for both of you and then try to progress it with baby steps from there.
But then, I don't have children.
I hope for the best for you, and I hope it all works out.
- Lydianne.
I'm not coming out to my neighbors. If I do I might as well come out to my family and everyone else I know! And in Lana's case, doing so may cause her embarrassment and maybe worse depending on her age.
good to hear your daughter is cool with Lana, Lana.
Peel that onion back a layer at a time. We evolve as we go down this path and that certainly is a big step. Very happy for you!
Congrats, Lana Mae. It's alway's nice to read about progress and pleasantries with those we know and love. it brings a smile to my face. be safe all :) Karrin
Majella-You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that but I do not have to agree with it!
BLUE-Yes as some say my house my rules! I will take it one step at a time and respect that special relationship she and I have!
Allisa-Generally, I go out on a weekday after everyone has left for work and school! Normally dressed or wig and forms are in a bag and put on in the car! She spends much of her time in her room, so...not really a big deal!
Dana-Yes her acceptance is a blessing!
Jamie-You are so right!
Bobbi-I can lounge around my bedroom if I want and make the occassional trip to the kitchen for food! She just wants to be sure daddy is there for her...I think!
Joanne-Like I said she bought the camera for use at my transformation and wanted to see the pics as soon as I got home! She is so very accepting and I so respect that!
Jennifer-It is not just females, if it was my son I would do the same as he stated what ever makes you happy! I would not rub it in his face though!
Pat-Yes you have to earn Dad or Daddy! My son got me a tee shirt that says, "Great Dads get promoted to Grandpa"
Alice-Yes I will! Thanks!
Lydianne-Yes, this is a big step and so must follow baby steps so as not to overdo it!
Ressie-As far as close to me(physically near), I am out to everyone who needs to know! I am probably out at work or at least they see me with earrings and nail polish! They know I am not gay as I have told them so and they seem to accept that! I am not out from my saying anything and no negativism!
Thanks for your responses!
Hugs Lana Mae
Lana, I never suggested that you had to agree with me, I was just stating my view on the subject. I wish you all the best. What you do works for you, it's just not the road I would take. Adult children in my opinion should be treated like adults not coddled like spoiled children. Again IMHO.
I think its a nice positive step Lana Mae... I try to live my life with the following belief... I only care what my immediate family (Wife, Children & Parents) think the rest of the world can go get .....
Who cares what your neighbours think they probably judge you for other things anyway :)
That's terrific Lana Mae- I'm happy for you.
I'm with Becky Blue. The neighbours DO judge you and all their others neighbours in any case. It is human nature. I say, give them something to be judgemental about and you can broaden their minds while you are at it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky Blue
Daisy
Its sure not easy , dealing with family members, I may have to deal with a delicate situation here too.
Its like walking on eggs .
Sounds like a plan my friend. I like it. :thumbsup: :)
Lana Mae,
Each person's relationships with their own are different and you have to find the right answers for equilibrium yourself as there isn't a magic book with all the information in for us to draw on.
To me it sounds like your passing the test just fine so far.
It's important that all those living under the roof, regardless as to who owns it, is comfortable in where they call home.
It does sound positive, good luck!