Hello girls, I am a straight guy who is married but when I am fully dressed I am sort of attracted to men. Anybody ever had this happen?
Hugs,
jeanniegirl
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Hello girls, I am a straight guy who is married but when I am fully dressed I am sort of attracted to men. Anybody ever had this happen?
Hugs,
jeanniegirl
Absolutely! And I still insist I’m not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Maybe I am. Oh, well, c’est la vie
Edit: Made mistake.
Sort of?
I'm the same however I'm dressed, sort of not sure!
Nothing wrong with being attracted to the right person for yourself!
Stacy!
I think it stands to reason that your sexuality might be influenced while in female mode. If you7 are comfortable doing typically female things when dressed, then that may include the uirge to express a different sexuality. As a guy, I don't find men attractive and I wouldn't be comfortable in any sort of intimate company with men. When in female mode, I am comfortable with the idea of intimacy with men and I would prefer that to anything sexual with women. For me, this is a somewhat moot since I am married and off the market in any case.
For some it is perfectly normal; for others it can scare the c--p out of you.
I experience that to a small degree, but I know others who have never thought that. I have never acted on it as I am also married (49 years). Keep in mind that sexual attraction/orientation and gender identity are almost independent characteristics. It all comes from your brain, but each comes from very different parts of the brain that often don't speak to each other. Thus, you can come up with a multitude of combinations, all of which are perfectly consistent with the way your brain is wired.
Attraction is personal and when married it is usually best to keep it a purely personal and private thing. But if it leads to action and your mate doesn't know there can be a huge storm brewing. Don't let it stress you as that can feed energy into the thinking and possibly lead to you doing something that you may not really want to do. When it appears, if it makes you uncomfortable, divert your attention to something else - that is, ignore the feelings of attraction and concentrate on something very different. It will go away by bits and pieces if you concentrate on something else. But if you feed it energy it could lead to actions that you may not want to do. Keep the feelings of attraction in the context of your life situation. The feeling is real; what it means is subject to interpretation and whether it leads to action needs to be a very rational kind of thinking.
Exactly what Kelly Whelan said!
Except that I am no longer married, and have learned that intimacy with a man, while being Jodie, is very pleasing.
Sexual preference and gender identity jeanniegirl are two totally different things but what you are feeling is quite common apparently.
Personally I don't get how that works you are straight one minute but when you put a dress on it all changes.:eek: It just doesn't make sense to me you are attracted to men or you aren't.
I think its more of a fantasy taking over and an in the moment thing you might feel but would you actually act on the feeling who knows?
I find men very attractive and that is my preference so maybe I am wired differently.
Thanks Traci I really appreciate that. Glad to know it is quite common especially if you find someone attractive.
Thanks Jodie I feel like it would be very pleasing to me as well. Oh well, maybe someday I will find out for sure.
Hi Kelly, I think I would prefer it as well but I am married too.
Hi LaurenS Thanks Absolutely me too!
It happened when I was young and single, I needed a partner to go out with the other girls.
It was more of a platonic relationship though.
As an experiment I put on a pair of Levi's and a t-shirt to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory. I then watched an episode wearing Gloria Vanderbilt jeans and a woman's Apt 9 t-shirt. In both instances I found the women to be appealing and felt no attraction to the men.
Taking it one step further, I got fully dressed (pantyhose, bra, forms, skirt and blouse) but the results were the same. Maybe I am just wired differently.
Thanks for posting that Tracy clothes do not change the person wearing them.
Hence my fantasy theory.
I also agree with Tracii, I don't find men attractive, but I do fantasize about guys. So I would recommend identifying what is fantasy from what you might act on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
I did have a guy flirt with me one Halloween when I was dressed. While I wasn't attracted to him, he made me feel feminine, which I enjoyed immensely!
I'm not saying what you all are feeling isn't real because it is.
All I'm saying if you are bi or gay you know it, now if you can admit it that is something else entirely.
I believe that wardrobe does and can affect (or bring about) emotions and perceptions. It can be wonderful and quite amazing. The very first time I dressed was like a whirlwind of sparkles and confetti in my mind and heart. If that makes sense . . . lol
Let's see:
Dressed in drab, NOT attracted to men.:straightface:
Put on a dress, attracted to men!:battingeyelashes:
Fantasizing about being the woman with a man is one thing. But, change your clothes and suddenly be attracted to men and their-------ewwww!?:doh:
Sorry, NOT buyin' it!:sad:
Not for me (though I have nothing against it) Drab, I am attracted to women, dressed, still attracted to women. Putting on a skirt doesn't change my feelings as far as relationships are concerned.
I will always be a Male Gender, Now I like Girls and Girls only.
Maybe that is the reason for my dressing; Can't say for sure,
but I still like Girls even when I am dressed.
Rader
I think a lot of fantasy’s are ok and you may never act them out. I hear some on this forum want to be controlled, but if it actually happened it might not be all that fun. I say put your rational brain in use and you can decide who you are attracted to or not attracted to. I love women and find what they wear and how they look to be extremely attractive.
I am with you on this Tracii. Sorry but because you dress it does not change your sexuality and I think many cross dressers use this as an excuse to show their true sexuality and their attraction to men.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
sorry but I just don't buy it.
Vicky exactly.
Too scared to admit it to themselves.
Yes, often. I'm Bi curious in my old age. Under the RIGHT circumstances, I believe I could be a man's lady friend.
&Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot
All because we're raised into homophobia, where being feminine and/or gay is such a horrible thing. Since we're self aware, boys are told endlessly that being feminine in any way is the most horrible thing we can be, and we live with the almost constant reminders that our friends and families REALLY dislike homosexuality, sometimes to the point of killing off homosexuals. So it's no wonder that so many men would hide their gay feelings from not only the public, but to themselves as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
You have to break it down. The 'sort of' is vague.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanniegirl
You have to figure out just what you're interested in. Do you like to look at naked men, & does that get you excited sexually? Do you want to have sex with a man? Do you like to be submissive sexually? Do you like to be penetrated? Have you had sex with another male?
All this makes a difference.
My life as an example.
As a kid, I thought I was homosexual because I thought I was supposed to be a girl, as I was having sex with an older boy. But I was also a boy, or at least, started out as one.
Yet, I never found boys attractive, didn't want to kiss one, couldn't stand the stink of us in the locker/shower rooms when changing for sports, and frankly thought the male form was repulsive. Yet, I craved oral and being penetrated, but the reality of it was completely disgusting. So why did I want that, and to dress and behave like a girl? Took years to figure out.
Ended up simply being a case of associating being a girl and taking part in girl sexual behavior with the only affection I ever knew, that which occured when I was being molested. So whenever I was starved of affection, I wanted all the female experiences too. And it turned out that experiencing that for so many years during my developmental years, just might result in those feelings being permanent, as I never grew out of them.
To this day, I feel like I was supposed to be a girl, despite all other evidence to the contrary. The feeling never goes away. I also desire to be penetrated sexually, even though that experience is not pleasurable at all, it's painful actually, and the smell and such are disgusting.
The 'sniff test', sitting on the beach or boardwalk and seeing who I liked to look at, resulted in only looking at the girls. So I'm heterosexual, but with all these other mixed desires and feelings.
I think that I'm a girl, and need the external visual, olfactory & tactile feedback which girls get to send back the signals which tell me (erroneously, of course) that I'm female. How do I know it's wrong? Because I don't think like a woman does. Not at all. And BOY, was that confusing.
So see for yourself how you fit into it all. Make a list, and sort out what you think you like, what you actually DO like, etc..
Then re-evaluate it all.
Good luck. It took me decades to figure myself out. I hope you can do it a bit faster. Feel free to read my bio in the link in my sig for more clues about how to distinguish some homosexual, transsexual, and crossdressing thoughts and behaviors. Of course, mine are not the only types of experiences, so your mileage may vary.
Not at all---I never found ANYTHING attractive (sexually) about men, and still don't---THAT is ONE reason I like dressing like a WOMAN! It took me a while to realize it though. When I did, it was one less thing to "worry about" (the Gay question) It was always in the back of my head. (was I in denial?) But when I finally got things straight in my mind at to definitions, etc. I did not question my sexuality any more--and CD became even MORE fun.
Now I CAN tell you if a Man is Handsome or not, but that does not mean I am sexually attracted to him. Just as a Woman can admire another woman for her beauty and NOT be a Lesbian. A lot of this is educating yourself, as we are never taught much about sexuality in Schools, and even our parents and friends were similarly ignorant---mythologies run wild and confuse us. I saved myself a lot of grief and worry by studying Psychology on my own when I was younger---Indeed, I developed a great interest in it. The lack of job opportunities though caused me not to pursue the field in college.---I went on to the physical Sciences instead, but am still involved in the functional analysis aspects of Psychology on the side.
Never. I'm only attracted to women, regardless of how I'm dressed.
[moderating] The OP asked a specific question. Please limit your answers to that. Thanks.
I had gay one night stands in my twenties, and it is was every bit as fun as I imagined. (I am very lucky to be alive, as it was the beginning of the AIDs era. so I am spooked now about STDs.) As it happened I found women much more interesting and I wanted a family, and men just were not interesting at all except for fantasy sex. So I was technically bi, but mostly not, and anyway I was married and faithful.
But I have witnessed in myself a sudden change from feeling men were completely uninteresting sexually [and loudly and convincedly saying so], to finding them very interesting. I was stunned. It didn't happen from being dressed, it happened from letting myself feel as feminine as I wanted to feel. It is related to being dressed because that is my gateway, but clothes have become unnecessary now for me to slip into feminine mode.
Most surprising to me was I became a straight woman- I found women uninteresting. I wasn't bi any more.
.
I think this is probably normal experience for a bisexual, and I can see that if I like someone, their plumbing will be fine, whatever it is. My fantasy life is greatly enhanced, but it is moot- fantasy only. I am married and committed to a woman.
It happened exactly once about 25-30 years ago. Never again. I felt dirty after the fact and I still feel dirty about it today.
Jon
What Tracii said, how can putting on clothes actually change your sexuality? Does putting on leather or latex with a whip etc make you a Domm? of course not... but a Domm may like to dress like that.
I have found over the years in the trans /CD world that people hear things being said and never really think about the validity of what was said.
Clothes cannot change a persons sexual preference.Its simply not true
You may be bi curious sure but its a fantasy at that point.
If you eventually act on the fantasy you will find out which you prefer rather quickly.
No. Why would it? The statements of 'I am a straight guy' and 'when I am fully dressed I am sort of attracted to men' are incompatible and contradictory. You are bi, bi-curious, or some sort of fantasist at least.
Personally I do not like terms straight, gay or bi. I have enough trouble knowing what gender I am so prefer to state that I am 'female attracted'. What I am wearing can't change this.
Thanks I must be bi maybe?
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Absolutely!
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Yes I believe that as well.
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Yes I agree as well
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Thanks me too
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Thanks I will
I love to dress, attracted to women and love their company...I feel like a woman when in their company.
Rayleen
Thanks so much.
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Thanks Rayleen
When I am a guy I am straight and when I am a woman I am straight. It is like two persons. I am comfortable with it.
Seems you are hon xQuote:
Originally Posted by jeanniegirl
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I am just a lesbian trapped in a man's body......lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Ginni
LOL.. I'm attracted to good looking people, regardless of how I'm dressed or what gender they are. Especially the UPS guy. OMG, that man. What I would do if I........ well, never mind that.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanniegirl
Dressing up, does get me in the mood for another man.
The other day, the UPS man came by with a package (which just happened to be my new D boobs). I already had my C's on in a sports bra. I almost pulled them out when I went to get the package, but decided what the heck. I left them in. He noticed them. Smiled at me. But, I didn't get a wink or anything more than that. So I'm not sure if he was laughing at me (inside) or what. He's always been a chatter box. So our conversations was about as long as normal. Quick.
But you know those guys are always in a hurry.
OOPs, sorry, I got off the subject, didn't I.
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I'm a guy who likes to look like a woman. I've never had trouble knowing what gender I am. I can't imagine how confusing that must be sometimes. Is it like you don't want to be a man? Serious question.Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyLawrence
Attracted to a CD who presents as female very well would be defined as bi-curious. The imagination that enjoys the female expression, yet knows the what full intimacy would entail receives a adrenaline surge. Married 35 years plus means I keep things in perspective, and enjoy the ride as it occurs.
Gotta agree with the “immutable” sexuality camp. I’d speculate that putting on women’s clothing is the equivalent of you giving yourself permission to experience parts of your sexuality that were there all along. There’s a theory that all people are bisexual to some degree.
And a serious question deserves a serious answer but unfortunately I'm not sure I have one. I suppose that is not that I don't want to be a man, more that I don't feel as though I am one, not a proper alpha male in the traditional sense at least. Does that make sense?Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleCD
Daisy do you feel more like a wimpy beta male that gets used by women?
Absolutely categorically not Tracii. Women can be strong too, so why not me.
Michelle, I think I would like to be a woman now. But, not really sure. Because for 75 years I've been a man!:heehee:
I am bi so I don't discriminate. If anything I have too many preferences!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyLawrence
Uhm,, No, not really. I think I'm more confused now than before.
Do you have any crayons? Sometimes that's what it takes for me to "get it."
For me, if a label were necessary I would be bi. Honestly at this stage, I'd add "curious" to that. In everyday life in DRAB, I definitely notice and appreciate women (that means attracted), and not so much to men. I just have never experienced intimacy with a man, so I honestly do not know how I would react in that situation... thus the "curious" part. I think that when I dress to any extent, I do feel more feminine and that may make me inclined to take notice of a good looking guy more that when I am in drab.
It's tough to say if the clothing enhance the bi side or not. Coming to terms with the "why" behind my desire to dress is a complicated thing, I just know it exists. Ironically, I have questions the "why" more on my desire to dress more than the "why" behind my sexual preferences. Perhaps that is societal conditioning.
Jenn
I am clearly bisexual therefore, I am attracted to both sexes regardless of what I am wearing. However, oddly enough I feel more attracted to males dressed but I am have never been sexual with a woman dressed. Sorry sounds confusing but not in my head. LOL
The initial thought of putting on womens clothes, creates another thought. Then another. It's part of her thought process. My thought process, with anything, is usually long winded. Ever thought to yourself, "How did I end up here." (Not geographically speaking, of course)Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
MichelleCD my answer to how did I end up here is no I don't all I know is I AM HERE and and that is what is important.
To get all long winded trying to figure it all out is a fruitless venture because you most likely will never find a suitable answer because the trans spectrum is so huge.
How does putting on womens clothes change your thought process? It can't because your thought process belongs to you and it stays the same all the time. You are not a female so you don't have a "her" thought process.
You might like to think you do but its a fantasy or wishful thinking.
I don't worry about things that I have no control over like the hows and why because its just a mental tap dance.
I work on things I can change because thats what matters.
This seems to be a fairly common topic on this forum but I cannot figure out how strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change one's sexual preference. You might have a fantasy about being a woman and having sex with a man but that fantasy and the reality are going to be quite different.
If you are gay, that's fine, that's how you are. Just remember, if you are a man and have sex with another man, that's a homosexual act even if you dress as a woman for it. Fake boobs don't make it any different.
And whatever you do, DO NOT dress as a woman and try to have sex with a man without him knowing that you are really a man beforehand. People have ended up dead from trying this.