Positive Effect of HRT

I've been 8 months on E and now nearly 4 months on the anti-a. The E didn't do a lot, but the anti-a in combination has done everything, from a pychological and emotional perspective.

I no longer have "dressing urges", I just wear what fits the occasion, mainly stuff that can take redecorating and manual work. Nothing about the gender matters any more. The wait that was agonising is now simply a wait for the final SRS; no big deal, just as it happens. I'm no longer bothered about getting big boobs, just whatever my body manifests is as it is. I'm so relieved to no longer have that highly-sexed urge, really it's like being a child again, to not have those factors in my life is a blessing.

I'm noticing myself shifted in worldview as the female field osmoses in, and the unwanted malestuff has gone, made possible by the hormones. No more anger and judgement. I can now see why for some people the hrt is enough. It is; srs is icing on the cake.

Contentment, in a word, describes this, and i can finally get on with life.

Hi Pam, Well I have been on hormones for almost two years now, started living fulltime as Sara eight months ago but still feel a very strong need to get on with surgeries. Probably driving my doctors crazy as I am constantly contacting them trying to find out how much longer I will have to wait. Anyways, for me, while the hormones have made a huge difference both psychologically and physically, it wasn't until I started living as a woman that I really noticed how much better my life had suddenly gotten. It was like my body and mind finally coalesced into one state of being after a lifetime of being at odds with one another. But even now I know that, for me at least, surgeries aren't icing on the cake but rather an integral necessary step to ultimately becoming the woman whom I need to become. While I am beginning to see a woman in the mirror the image is not yet complete for me.

I see your points, Sara Olivia. As I've been 100% out for over 2 years, I'd say that part of coalescing was set up to be completed by the hormones. The mirror will never show me the hips i'd prefer but somehow this no longer matters to me. I can't explain why, just being a woman is enough - there are many women with little or no hips anyway, and with small boobs for their size. And, of course I want and will have the SRS, but it's not urgently pressing now. And as the waiting time here in the UK is forever, that's lucky for me.

Wishing you a speedy route to completion.

xxx

Hi Pamela,

After five months of HRT, which included a T-blocker and estrogen, I see we have some things in common. I love my body as it is becoming more feminine and accept it as it is. I threw out all my silicone enhancements month ago. I too have less shopping needs, and try to dress comfortable and appropriate for the occasion. Also, like you I have less anger in me. I find myself very happy and grateful that I can finally experience life as a woman, even as a transgender woman, and a certain contentment has settled in. I have not made a decision about SRS yet; as much as I would like it I have to admit I am fearful of the possible dangers and side effects, especially because of my age.

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Originally Posted by pamela7

I've been 8 months on E and now nearly 4 months on the anti-a. The E didn't do a lot, but the anti-a in combination has done everything, from a pychological and emotional perspective.

I no longer have "dressing urges", I just wear what fits the occasion, mainly stuff that can take redecorating and manual work. Nothing about the gender matters any more. The wait that was agonising is now simply a wait for the final SRS; no big deal, just as it happens. I'm no longer bothered about getting big boobs, just whatever my body manifests is as it is. I'm so relieved to no longer have that highly-sexed urge, really it's like being a child again, to not have those factors in my life is a blessing.

I'm noticing myself shifted in worldview as the female field osmoses in, and the unwanted malestuff has gone, made possible by the hormones. No more anger and judgement. I can now see why for some people the hrt is enough. It is; srs is icing on the cake.

Contentment, in a word, describes this, and i can finally get on with life.

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Funny I was just texting someone the same thing. The testosterone feels like poison. Was it your choice not to take the blocker? I stopped taking it for a week just estrogen and it was awful. My obsession with being passable went away and I dress because it feels normal.

You experience is just like mine. Personal question (sorry if its too personal just curious)did your sexuality change too? Mine did. I see other women as us rather then them and men as them who we date and have lift heavy things and protect us. This is the feeling that lets you go out dressed as a guy and not worry you have pink nails or make up on. Great relief isn't it? Now you can be you. I'm so happy for you. I wish this stage had a name so we could tell newbies about it.

Hi Lexi,

It was not my choice, my dr wanted to see if e alone would suppress the t. After 5 months i finally got the t-blocker, and that's the big difference. Yes it was like a toxin to me.

I suppose it has changed - to asexual. It's like being an adult child - perfect for me.

Is it a stage? It feels more like the endgame to me, rather than a waypoint or a phase. It is liberating to have no cares.


Hi Dorit, oh the anger being gone - i think it's a massive affirmation. SRS can be many things, some less dangerous than others. xxx

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Originally Posted by pamela7

SRS can be many things, some less dangerous than others. xxx

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What????

SRS can include:

breast augmentation - risk to pectoral structures and strength
orchidectomy - fundamental, low-risk as any veterinarian can do this ;-)
penectomy, with risks associated with the urinary tract
labiaplasty, clitoroplasty, vaginaplasty, with nerve damage risks
facial SRS - risks to facial muscles, expression
beard removal - risks to facial skin integrity

one can choose to not have all of these and still be transitioned, for example Michelle(Isha) chose to dress/present as female only. There is a risk assessment and an aceeptability criterion different for each of us. So, SRS can be many things, some less dangerous than others.

This has been the accepted definition of SRS:

Sex reassignment surgery (SRS) is also known as gender reassignment surgery (GRS), genital reassignment surgery, gender confirming surgery or simply a sex change operation. SRS is often the final stage in the physical transitioning for a male to female (MTF) or female to male (FTM) transsexual. SRS is a surgical procedure that entails removing the genitalia of one sex and constructing the genitals of the opposite sex.

This is from the WPATH Standards of Care:

Sex reassignment surgery (gender affirmation surgery): Surgery to change primary and/or secondary
sex characteristics to affirm a person’s gender identity. Sex reassignment surgery can be an important
part of medically necessary treatment to alleviate gender dysphoria.

I have had electrolysis, blepharoplasty, orchiectomy, otoplasty, rhinoplasty, and a half dozen other facial procedures as well as breast augmentation. I have not had SRS. My genitals have not been reconstructed to that of the "opposite sex." Yet.

oh well who am I to argue with expert definitions? ;-)
"one person's SRS is not another's" is my opinion. Perhaps if I used "GRS" it covers more flexible definitions?

I did not respond to "argue", just to clarify. It is important to be accurate if you are presenting information that anyone can have access to. There are many more visitors to this site than there are members. Member or visitor, there are people who are looking for answers. Some of these people are very fragile. Although an on-line forum is the worst place to get accurate information on anything, it wouldn't hurt to be as responsible as we can to provide the best service possible so that seekers are well informed.

Again, please don't perceive my post as arguing, just clarifying.

Have a great day.

Jeri Ann is correct, and no GRS does not allow a more “flexible” definition. I’m not sure why this community constantly feels the need to redefine everything and constantly “muddy the water”.

The procedures you listed Pamela are options that are available for people that transition but they are not part of SRS or GRS. That is a very specific procedure with a couple of variations/options within it self but have nothing to do with breasts/face or facial hair.

You mention that you have been out for 2 years but your recent addition of HRT stopped the urge to “dress”. What does that even mean? During the time that you were out but not on HRT what did you feel the need to “dress as”? If you were living as your authentic self the need to “dress” should have been non existent since you were already presenting as your true self....

sorry Jeri-Ann, I can see why we need clear medical definitions, I meant about arguing with wpath, not yourself.

Megan, I mean I needed to overcompensate before HRT, wearing very feminine clothing to present to the wider world. On HRT, I feel no need; it works, now I'm also comfortable wearing whatever is required. No need to over-analyse, and I don't want to either upset apple carts or cause ructions.

As per my OP, content as I am.

Pamela,

At the last support group meeting I attended the discussion turned toward hormone therapy. Those in attendance were split evenly between those on hormones and possibly having had some surgeries and the rest of us who are anywhere between living nearly full time to closeted CD's but not taking hormones. Various issues including physical changes and family responses were batted around for a while but when the phrase "Peace of Mind" came up all those on that side of treatment smiled, nodded and affirmed that was a primary positive effect. It sounds like your experience mirrors their experience. Am I reading this right?

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Originally Posted by pamela7

SRS can include:[...]

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Pamela -- I think perhaps a better statement would be "Medical transition can include:" Those procedures are all part of a medical transition and, as you note, "one can choose to not have all of these and still be transitioned..." under the WPATH guidelines. SRS, however, has a pretty strict definition and beard removal or breast augmentation isn't part of it.

Sarah,

What a great post. You are correct about the "Peace of Mind" that comes with making a commitment to HRT and settling into that routine. I am sure that others, who have been down the road a ways, will agree that the quest for peace is the driving force behind all the changes that we seek. Forty years ago I completed electrolysis and rode the wave of peace for along time. Then I was ready for the next step. Try as I might, it wasn't until 15 years ago that I found access to Estradiol and Spiro, I was at peace with that for a while. Then I needed to begin experiencing life authentically. The greatest measure of peace that I have personally experienced is when I transitioned completely, never to return to my former life.

There is no clinical evidence to support the effects of HRT on the psyche but it is one of those steps that fulfill our need to move toward authenticity. Every step has its measure of peace. This past week I finally got my new drivers license and Social Security card in the mail with my new legal name and gender. There was a lot of peace associated with that too.

Jeri

It's interesting how the methods of transition have changed so much in recent years. I was shocked, though certainly thrilled, that my gender specialist was ready to write a hormone letter after two visits. I asked her recently if she saw me as an extreme case and that was why. No, she said, you're clearly ready to transition, but the old practice was just a way of forcing people to suffer more to "prove" they needed treatment. The treatment, she says, rightly should start with the hormones. The science proves it, she said. It will make the whole process of transition so much easier and dysphoria-relieving.

Having read this thread and others like it, I am eager to start with the hormones later in the month. Bring it on! Drive this dysphoria away! I'm glad we no longer have to wait so long, and that we no longer have to make up stories to prove our purity in order to get medical treatment. Glad for everyone who is doing well on her path....

elizabethamy

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Originally Posted by pamela7

oh well who am I to argue with expert definitions? ;-)
"one person's SRS is not another's" is my opinion. Perhaps if I used "GRS" it covers more flexible definitions?

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We are all entitled to our own opinion. None of us is entitled to her own facts. There is a difference.

Yes Sarah, yes Pat, yes Jeri-Ann.

Well, I'm convinced and ready to experience t he effects of the HRT on my body will have but more than my body, I'm in day one, and as some has said here, the peace of mind that I'm in the right path of looking my real one is great.
I don't know yet about surgeries, may be the next will be laser on my face. I'd been fighting with hair removal, don't laugh girls, plucking my moustache and chicks of the face, and it looks like they never stop growing again....
Thanks everybody for this great thread, thanks for a lot of you and especially for some that I feel closer, I don't know why, but that's the way I feel, as Jeri, you have so much wisdom...
Dorit for being a brave woman...

Pamela for this thread...
Sara Olivia for your determination ,
Kisses...

Congrats Jeri Ann! I look forward to the day. That must have been so hard all those years without HRT you're braver then me! I had to wait 3 months. Iwas calling the doctor every week and was already in therapy under another pretense while legitimate it wasn't my issue. I used every resource I had to make that 3 months and not a year. I actually sacrificed alot of my eye sight to get it. Being male is worse then being blind for me. Really can't imagine not taking estrogen I almost feel smarter because I am coming up with new solutions to problems. Still can't see worth a damn though deal with that later. I live in one of the "gayest cities" on the east coast and we only have two trans specialty doctors. I can always tell in the waiting room now who is seeing my doctor since she only does one thing really, taught me not to judge or assume.

I know that's too early to begin feeling the effects of the hormones except for the diuretic and effect on the blood pressure of the pirolactone but after so many nights waking up in the middle, almost at the same time, 3 am, last night slept like a baby.
I knew that some peace of mi d it would give me. Probably just sicologic but it's part of the game, isnt?

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Originally Posted by Vanessa Grandy

Well, I'm convinced and ready to experience t he effects of the HRT on my body will have but more than my body, I'm in day one, and as some has said here, the peace of mind that I'm in the right path of looking my real one is great.
I don't know yet about surgeries, may be the next will be laser on my face. I'd been fighting with hair removal, don't laugh girls, plucking my moustache and chicks of the face, and it looks like they never stop growing again....
Thanks everybody for this great thread, thanks for a lot of you and especially for some that I feel closer, I don't know why, but that's the way I feel, as Jeri, you have so much wisdom...

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Vanessa just PM'd me asking what effects, other than breast growth, did HRT have on me. I decided to answer her question in this thread so that everyone could see. I wish that this thread was in the body issues section where it should be because I don't like talking about personal things to the whole planet but, here goes.

There are so many myths about HRT. My experience is very similar to that of the others who have significant history with HRT.

Like most people I experienced minimal breast growth. Sure you start HRT with great expectations and when you start to feel some tenderness and swelling behind the nipple you get all excited. You think, "I'm going to be one of the lucky ones." Sure there are many reports of B, C and even D cup development from HRT only but any real evidence is as elusive as a unicorn. And sure, your breasts will look larger to you than they really are. If you need to transition, save your money for a BA. Or, be happy with small breasts.

Other than some breast growth I have experienced some softening and thinning of my skin, a little fat redistribution and reduction of body hair. I also lost all libido. That's about it. HRT did not turn me into a girl and din't even make me pregnant. I am fortunate that testosterone didn't masculinize me any more than it did. I have been complemented a lot on my appearance over the years and I appreciate the kind words. Reality is, it has little to do with HRT. I was just lucky to be blessed with an appearance that allowed me to experience being female whenever I could over the last 47 years. This has been posted before but if the mods will allow me to post it again it gives an idea of what I looked like twenty years before any HRT.

Attachment 291398

Here is another one in the same place 36 years later and after 15 years HRT.

Attachment 291399

HRT means hormone replacement therapy. It is called that because, for a MtF it involves an adrogen blocker like Spironolactone that will shut down your body's ability to produce testosterone. And it involves some form of estrogen, usually estradiol. HRT didn't make me cry. Spiro makes me pee, a lot, but estradiol doesn't make me cry. If you are experiencing such an effect right away, I would suggest you see your doctor. Of the two dozen or so trans-women that I know I am not aware of an onset of crying.

Now, in time, a long time, estrogen will affect the way your brain processes information. Even this effect is unique to each individual determined by each person's particular set of neuro-connectors or synapses which allow transmission of neurotransmitters. This altered processing of information quite often enhances emotional responses. Yes, you may cry. I have cried, a lot. But, I had something to cry about. It wasn't because of what I injected into my butt every Wednesday morning. Emotional responses also include laughing. There are times when something becomes funny between my sister and I and the laughing gets ridiculous. We wear mini pads when we are going to be together just in case.

HRT will not turn you into a woman. If you have a masculine face you will always have the same face unless it is modified by surgery. Hrt will not make a brow ridge, big nose, square jaw or anything else disappear.

The most effective thing that can be done to feminize a male face, other than surgery, is beard removal. In the top picture I had just completed two years of expensive and horribly painful electrolysis. Also you will notice in the two pictures that, at some point, during the 36 years between them, I learned to smile. There is nothing that can instantly feminize a face more than a becoming smile. I had to learn how to do it.

So, Vanessa, I hope you grow some big'uns. And you get maximum results from your HRT. I also hope you have plenty to laugh about. But, don't be afraid of the crying when that happens. If you transition, there will be plenty to cry about.

Thanks a lot for your extends and detailed answer.
I said in another thread that I don't have too much body reactions to hormones it just the peace of mind that I'm doing the more I can for now into my real me.
I'm conscious about what placebos are. If someone doesn't know it, when they need to test new medicines, usually get an amount of human like guinea pigs. What this guinea pigs don't know is that some of them don't receive the actual Medicine, just half but the other half receive just placebos. Placebos look and taste the same as the real medicine but doesn't have the active ingredient that would cause an effect. Even the people who gives them the "testing medicine" doesn't know who's taking Medicine and who placebos.
It's interesting that some of the candidates refining placebos experience some side effects and some experience the expected effects of the real medicine.
The last prove that our brain is really powerful to produce changes or see changes that are not there. I was a minister in a very charismatic church and saw many times people falling in "trances" if the spirit. I saw too, many comprobables and indisputable miracles.
So our mi d is a powerful tool that we should learn to use in our and other favor, because as it is powerful ca be used against ourselves and others too.
So after this long logical explanation , you can see I'm very rational but I keep thinking that hormones can help us at least to balance something missing in our body and mostly day to our unconscious part the brains what pur will wants to live and that produces some way of peace.
To finish I just want to say that I'm very clear that when I came to live to this country I dreamed with speak a fluent and free of accent English and assimilate the American way of living. After arou d 20 years my English still broken and I some ways , even thought being a US citizen, I'm still being a chilean guy. In the same way I will never be a woman, or a beautiful young woman but a traswoman and no longer a man.
We're a new race of peor that the world is beginning to know and accept and that's all I want, to be accepted and counted as other human being.

Maybe age has alot to do with it. Younger brains exibit more nueroplasticity that would respond better to hrt. My brain was damaged and is now regrowing with estrogen and certainly it will be different then before. My doc said /i sould expect to feel it alot.

Vanessa,

I feel, and I might be wrong, that the hormones might resolve your "never be a woman" feeling. In the same way almost all transwomen stop using this forum, you see, you just "ARE" a woman, inside, and the outside no longer matters. Humans are in all shapes and sizes. I'm finding myself getting on with life and visiting here less and less, and I think it IS the point, along with a huge thankyou to those who stay here to help, and a bit of a nose-thumb to the naysayers who made life horrible at times.

Pamela,
you're no wrong, that's exactly what I feel today while dressed I was in a Nortdstrom Rack store, (Heaven for me) and for the first time I forget that I was man because I found myself so immerse checking for make up things, as well dresses, shoes and in a moment a lady at my side began asking me about some products, I told her that I was a newbie but she answered me that my make up look gorgeous better than hers so please give her some advises.
I was literally in heaven, and told her that I was a trans woman, to what she asks, what is that? I answer and explain that I "was" (in past) married with married children when I realized that I feel like a woman and wanted to live in full time as a woman, then she told me that after some sentences that I said, she notice a different voice and I told her, yeah my man's voice but she said, not I'm talking about the accent honey, I smile a lot and she told me, don't say anybody you' were a man because what I see is a woman and beautiful. I almost cried and she gave me a hug and a kiss and grab some of the articles that I recommend her.
My point is at the moment we start believing who we are, it transpire without fear and we are more natural that some people without prejudices can really see what we are.

May be she didn't carry her glasses neither her earphones (may be a bit deaf) lol...

Well said Jerri Ann