Simple Question! Do you Love to Cross-dressing or feel it's an affliction?

Question; Do You Love To Cross-Dress or feel it's an affliction?

Pros and cons.

I am so addicted to dressing, I love dressing fully and shopping for dresses.

I hate when I feel shame.

I feel sad that my wife thinks dressing is all messed up!

It’s neither. It’s part of who I am that I’ve learned to accept..

Right now I love it. It's infiltrated my brain LOL. I don't feel shame from it, because from my current point of view I'm not doing anything shameful. I know eventually my brain will swtich gears and I'll see it in a different light.

To be rigorously honest, for me it has been an affliction, and i wish i had not been born with it, or wish i had never been born, period, because of it, and other very life and death mental health issues i have, and toxic, bullying family i came from. My dad had no business getting married, and my mom married him, because she felt sorry for him! My dad never wanted sons, and got a severely handicapped daughter who hates men, and three sons after that. One older brother is in prison yet. Criminal minds. i was bullied and picked on all my school years, and at home. Then at age 13, sneaked into my sister and mom's things. Was sexual for the first time, then. Quit out of shame, then was in the service, then occasionally bought hose thru the mail. At age 50, really got into dressing full bore, but it is against the religion i was called into in 1980. I have paranoia, some schizo, and depression and bi polar. Dressing made me feel like the tall, gorgeous women i adored, but could never have. Only short fat girls liked me. I have dated in my 30's and a little in my 40's, but nothing much a all since. Women were very turned off by finding i dressed. It has isolated me even more than i was, and that is not good. Guilt and shame stalk me, so i seldom dress now, but when i do , it is too look classy and sexy. I need to be more social and out of myself, and have more confidence as a man . It would have been nice to never have this additional luggage to bear.

Nope, not at all...…….

af·flic·tion
[əˈflikSH(ə)n]

NOUN
something that causes pain or suffering.
"a crippling affliction of the nervous system"
synonyms: disorder · disease · malady · complaint · ailment · illness · indisposition · scourge · plague · trouble · menace · evil · visitation

To pick a couple of words out of those synonyms: Yes, there was much of my life I can complain about, and I wish I could do over because my gender variance caused trouble. Acceptance of it has allowed me to see it much differently though.

All the bad stuff, the shame, guilt and anguish, was an unfortunate step in the journey. I'm cured of all that if I continue to live in acceptance and live as closely to my authentic self as I can.

Cass

Alice to me it sounds like dressing is the least of your problems. Whats wrong with short fat girls? Anyway, lots of people have all these problems, and instead of cross dressing they have some other obsession. As far as the religion you were called into in the 1980... Look what the silent majority bought with their morality. I certainly don't need their hypocrisy and neither do you.

I agree with Katrina. Dressing is just part of me. I can't deny it and I'm faced to live with it for the rest of my life.

Good question...........I at times feel as if it's an affliction but as I age I have grown into the attitude it's just who I am..........for me it's a constant struggle as I like the MAN I am but also love the woman I can be.....if that makes any sense...........

Judy in a word, yes I’ve come to believe it is somewhat of an affliction. The issue we all have as crossdressers or trans folks
is what do we do with it. Do we choose to live with it try to find a way to manage it, say through HRT and other such things
or do we simply find a way to let it not rule our lives. It’s most difficult in whatever we choose in this life of ours and as I tell
people I would not wish being trans on my worst enemy. I do yes believe you are born this way our choice as in anything in
life is what do we do with it then

I do love to crossdress. Can't see why I would do it if I didn't.

The only affliction is the anxiety that comes from not accepting yourself.

It took me over 12 years to get over the guilt.:doh:

But, what a wild ride the last 8 have been for Sherry and I!:devil:

It's both for me, After all it is a Guilty pleasure.
Like a German Shepard digging into the trash while the family is away, it feels so good to be bad.

But if i had to choose, I'd say I love it more than think it's an affliction. I only think it's an affliction because of my perceptions of how girls will think of it in the hypothetical situation that I'm dating someone.
My personal belief is that it's just clothes and people put too much meaning behind things, myself included.
The moment i escape this belief of "CDing means i'm damaged, gay, gross, disgusting" I will be free.

I always wondered what life would be like if i had friends who knew me 100%, that there wasn't a single detail that i could think up that they wouldn't know.

It's not an affliction for me. It is a part of my life.

I love crossdressing and enjoy every aspect of it. Though I am not 'out' due to priorities in my life (I want to be recognised for other stuff), I am not remotely ashamed of it. I do not with I wasn't a crossdresser but occasionally wish I had not spent so much on dresses.

Judy, I don't feel it's an affliction. Perhaps as a younger person when I did not understand and accept myself I saw it that way. But being older, not caring what others think, and having an accepting wife just has me accepting crossdressing.

Judy,
I love what crossdressing give me , it satifies that inner need , the clothes are the outward sign to the World how I truly feel inside . The feeling of an affliction came and went years ago , I guess when I nearly ended my life through it , I do recall going through a period of asking why me and hoping it would go away , that was mostly about fear of acceptance from others . Fully accepting yourself makes that fear ebb away , it's their problem not yours !

I believe your addiction is because you can't achieve a balance , you have to fight for your freedom to express yourself ! When you get those precious moments to do it you want it all knowing you can't because within a few short hours it all goes back into it's hiding place and Judy ceases to exist again. I have a balance now because Teresa is out in the open , I can freely chose when and how much I dress . If I have a function coming up or there's a change in the weather well I just jump in the car and buy what I need , knowing I can come back home and hang it in my wardrobe without worrying about anyone seeing it . Maybe shopping can become the addiction because being dressed as a woman gives us so many choices , it is wonderful just to be able to go out and integrate into society, again that can be addictive but comes with a sting in the tail because we don't know how far that need will take us .

I love to crossdress largely as a hobby; clothes and shoes, forms, some jewellery. It is comfort and joy more than an affliction although I do still feel guilt for it. My wife knows of my hobby, accepts that I enjoy it but takes no part. She does not make me feel bad for it at all but wishes neither to see it nor help with it.

This arrangement is quite good overall, of course, but the yearning for her to simply allow me to dress in her prescence sometimes is part of the feelings of affliction.

It is a "affection" based on society. And redtea said 'it's just clothes", but do girls think that it is just clothes, I believe not. And if it is just clothes, how come they are sooooo important and special to all of us? We do not fit in society, I have even heard gay individual's having a distasteful attitudes for crossdressers, how ironic is that? (Sorry, maybe a little off subject)

I always loved the way it makes me feel, I got over the guilt of dressing a few years ago, the only guilt left is what it could do to the people I love.

Some of my gay friends think CDing is silly and down right dumb.
I explain the trans thing and they just don't get it and think I'm a little odd.
I have no shame or guilt about dressing its just how I balance my internal and external me.

Rachel,
You are so right , if it was just wearing the clothes I wouldn't be doing it and it's far removed from calling it a hobby , I'm afraid I've not separated from my wife after 44 years over a hobby , I could never insult her with that excuse .

A few years back when i began CDing i was very ashamed by my secret, even tho i enjoyed dressing, so it could have been considered an affliction.
However since i came out to my wife and she has gradually gone from uncertain to supportive it has been amazing to express myself in a whole different way. (at home anyway)
Now i love being a CDer. :c9:

For me, the affliction is my anatomy, not my wardrobe. Somehow, when it came my turn to get born, I got assigned a body of the wrong gender. <oops?>

Yes, I love to dress feminine. But wearing something feminine is more of an effort to feel a little bit like who I'm supposed to be, instead of who I actually am.

For numerous reasons, I can't 'switch sides' - but dipping my toes in the pool from time to time keeps me from suffocating.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KatrinaK

The only affliction is the anxiety that comes from not accepting yourself.

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Well said.

I love it.

But I'm constantly asking myself why. Even though it doesn't really matter.

I love Crossdressing! I started less than two years ago and don’t feel bad about it at all!

Michelle.

How could I call joy and freedom an affliction?

thats a tough question. I vacillate among ways of viewing my behavior. At times, I think of it as an addictive disorder, perhaps the product of a traumatic early childhood experience. At other times I see as something like autogynephilia...basically a substitute for a feminine companion, or when I was married a desire to be a female companion to my wife. And at times, I try to view myself as less pathological...simply variant among a great diversity of gender identities.

Ah, the use of one word to define such a complicated subject. "Love?" "Affliction?" I will say my life would have been less complicated if I was not a man who wears women's clothing. In the early years wearing women's clothing brought much turmoil; shame, self loathing. How was a teenage boy suppose to reconcile his raging hormone induced love of women with the fact his also felt compelled to wear women's clothing? Society in the 1950's and 1960's painted with a broad brush. Men who wore women's clothing were deemed to be homosexuals. Gay was not used yet. Derogatory terms defined you. How could this be? Much self loathing. Much shame. Yes, wearing women's clothing back then was an 'affliction.'

Now, decades later there is self acceptance. No more shame. No more self hatred. Yet, life would be a lot simpler if I did not have this desire to wear women's clothing. My wife is not accepting of this desire. Unlike Judy's wife, she does not rail against this desire. She simply states she wanted to marry a man, the man I presented to her during our courtship and still do. If she wanted to be with a woman, she would have been with a woman and not a guy who wears women's clothing.

Do I love to wear women's clothing? No! It's something I do because it is in me. In my DNA. I've given up trying to figure it all out. A counselor I see for war related issues holds to the premise that each man and woman has some DNA of the opposite sex within him or her. In some it is stronger than others. That seems like an acceptable premise. "Born to be wild."

Yes, I am drawn to certain styles and colors and fabrics of women's clothing. But, that is no different than being drawn to certain clothes I wear in my male life. I don't "love" cross dressing. It's part of me, whether society accepts it or not, I have to deal with it.

I love being a woman and expressing my femininity with my clothing. I think that having male body parts is a little odd, but hardly an affliction.

I love cross dressing, even in limited amounts. I have been in a bra and forms for over 4 days, 7/24 and my wife just ignores it. But, I feel good

sarah, I am six foot six. That is why i do not want a short fat lady. I have had short fat women friends often, though. Just my personal choice, i would want a taller woman ,like me.

Love.

And it is an incredible journey to acceptance. Sometimes fun and sometimes extremely painful. There are moments still when I hear myself saying “I wish this had never entered my life. Why is this my path?”

But I catch myself. The waves come and go but the flow is always in one direction and I realize this is a journey. Sometimes messy. Sometimes a little insane but in the end a beautiful experience.

I do not see it as an affliction at all. Crossdressing is a part of me. I would not be the person I am today if I didn't do it at all. I think it keeps my masculine and feminine traits in balance. I have many good friends now that I would likely never have even met if not for crossdressing. Besides all that, it is a lot of fun for me. Maybe I'll think about quitting it when it stops being fun. Maybe.....

Absolutely love to crossdress. Not an affliction, certainly a passion. Not going away for me.

Its only an affliction if you let it be one.
If you have guilt or shame and can't deal with it then I could see you thinking that.

I first discovered my mothers closet while in my teens. This was the 1970's and where I lived, it was the biggest taboo of all for a boy to show the slightest hint of femininity. My fathers attitude was that such people deserved to be killed. So I was horrified and disgusted by my newfound interest, and terrified at the prospect of being found out. This was compounded by the fact that I couldn't stop myself from returning to her closet every time I was left alone in the house. I definitely felt this was an affliction that I wanted to stop and that nobody, not even a significant other, would accept or understand.

It took a long time, but now I feel my gender expression is a gift. I am a Two Spirit, and am at my best when both sides are equal partners in my life. Nowadays, I am happiest in a skirt, because female clothes are more varied and fun, and because my femme side had to spend so much of my early life in hiding, she gets the nod whenever I have a choice in how to dress.

At some point long ago I might have answered affliction but certainly not now. I absolutely love it.

Affliction.

It becomes an obsession (for me at least), and being obsessed is the very antithesis of freedom. You become enslaved to it. When the pink fog rolls in, I can hardly think of anything else. I'd love to be free of this for good. It's also been hell on my marriage.

I do not choose to give a name to why I crossdress. I have struggled to understand what the attraction to dressing and acting enfemme is for me. I finely found peace in accepting the fact that the "why" I have this desire is no longer an issue. I accept it as it is. I do enjoy the feeling of being enfemme and I do not have a desire to be enfemme 100% of my life. When my wife and I had the "talk" and she became willing to accept this behavior as part of me; life became so much better. I love that my wife can accept that her man is sometimes in makeup and dresses. It is a balance of life to be sure. But I am one of the luckiest people in the world to share this passion with my soul mate. Hopefully I won't screw this up.

It is not an affliction for me. I find it has expanded my horizons. I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

Sami

An affliction. I really don't understand why anyone would choose this life if they had the choice. Spending every waking moment feeling like I'm in the wrong clothes? No thank you.

It is not an affliction. It is a pleasure. I totally love the clothes and how they feel and make me feel. The delight in purchasing new items never fades and, at 65, I have been wearing female clothes for over 50 years.

I'm in the position of not coming out to family and friends not because of any shame or guilt, it's possible consequences with family and just feeling it's unnecessary with friends as I'd have no desire to dress in front of them.

Hence I've arrived at a point where for me it is what it is. I do it when I can, I just don't over think it.

It's part of me, it won't go away so why fret about it. I want as few negative feelings as possible when dressing so I've consigned deep thought on the matter to the mind's store room. I interlectualise about it in about the same way as boiling an egg.

It's an affliction that I love.

For me? An affliction? No, absolutely not. A Love? Yes, oh yes indeed! But more than that, it's me, it's what makes me, me.

Not an affliction. For me it's just a simple pleasure of life to explore and indulge in occasionally. I used to dress and feel fabulous and then a wave of shame and guilt and throw everything away. I've accepted that dressing is just a small part of who I am and I consider it harmless fun. Not a compulsive dresser. I think the last time I went full out was two years ago. I recently came out to my wife and she has been 100% supportive. Just trying to take it slow and not overwhelm her.

Yes to both. I loved to dress and shopping. if I could go back and stop myself I would. It is way too expensive. I also feel like it inhibited my ability date.
Sara

I love dressing, but it is an affliction. No, I don't want to stop, it would be nice to be normal, but I think I am a better person for it. I see the world differently, it makes me more sympathetic to the needs and desires of others. Thanks for asking:bighug: