why did you join, did you find what you were looking for, did it help.... +or -

didnt want to hijack another thread,
for me this has been quite the journey....when i first arrived i identified as a CDer, in my youth i suppose i could have been the much maligned "fetish" dresser :brolleyes: please forgive me for enjoying myself participating in a gross sex act :) but father guido sarduchi called it a cheap sin :devil:


been through gender fluid , transgender, non-binary, after some self discovery after my moms death i may have been intersex, not so sure how to pursue that or if its worth it nowadays.

so i just go with trans these days....i go to support functions mostly to help others but i do love sharing myself with those that me questions.
meeting other trans folks never ceases to amaze....as varied as a box of chocolates. differing perspectives.
helping just one person can be so gratifying....some poeple come to me with preconceived perspectives of who I(we) are and love to dismantle them.

so i came here a rookie, deep in the closet.
im still learning.....i have met some wonderful people and some real buttheads, met some nice folks from the forum in person, through e-mail and texts.
im getting out and doing things id never thought i would have accomplished so ive found more than i was looking for and it certainly has helped my esteem....+++:D

care to share your thoughts....

Great thread topic!

I’m still new to this; only starting my CD journey in January last year. In an attempt to answer the usual questions, starting with “WTF is going on?”, as well as meeting like minded people online, I joined a number of forums.

I found that this was the most inclusive and accepting, and (for the most part) supportive.

Michelle

It has been 9 short years since I joined the Forum, Glad I did.
I was surfing around for information on dressing. I was wondering if I was the only pebble on the Beach?
When I found this site, it gave me a whole new look at my desire to wear female clothes.
I would never think of under dressing, and now I do it all the time.
I have picked up a lot of confidence and great Ideas here. One of the best things that I have done for myself
was to find and join this great Forum.
Rader

When I first started all this from "zero" in 2006 I was a complete novice to the whole idea. After dressing up completely with all the trimmings with the help of a fellow sister, I was hooked even though my presentation at that time was actually very bad. However, I just knew I had to take this show on the road so to speak, get out in the real world. I did that with little fear and a good dose of apprehension. It was a complete success. The rest is history as I let myself as a very mature (old!) adult be led down the path by some slow and a few rather fast steps at a time. I did not really need this site for support (I already had the necessary courage and minimal confidence to be out regularly among the real world humans), but rather as my instructor and source of varied information based on the experiences and research of others. I never really tried to describe (label) myself in any detail, because I accepted myself for who I was and let life lead me forward. I have learned so much here, and still am learning more in my current location a long way down that lovely path to being myself.

Mykell,
I joined because I was in a mess , at the time I called it a rollercoaster ride . I needed help but was scared the click the JOIN button , what have I done , I've suddenly gone from the closet ( solitary confinement ) to coming out to the English speaking World !
Like you been through the ups and downs of needing labels , not understanding what they meant , did they apply to me , am I really worse than I first thought ??? So many questions and thankfully so many good answers , sadly we have lost some very knowledgeable members but enough remain to chew questions and issues over . I stick around now because I don't believe we will ever know all the answers , the problem being we move on and new questions arise and new challenges . Along the way we can keep posting how we move along that road and hopefully help others who are still to set foot on it . We may not be experts but we are the ones actually living it, the highs and the lows and of course there is much humour to be had in what we do , sharing those stories is a great pickme up .

I joined just to be around people with similar interests.

In my short time here I've learned a few new things about CDing and even myself.

It's a nice place, with nice people. But sometimes it feels more like a marriage counseling forum, than a crossdressing one.

Bridget,
The majority here have to deal with all this around wives/partners , I'm separated now after 44 years of marriage that's a huge slice of my life I'm having to put behind me , and that applies to many others , some have had multiple marriages !!

Why did i join? I had been CDing for some time and had begun to realise that this wasn't just a passing phase, it was something more compelling. I wanted to search for answers and find out if there were others like me.
I feel like i have entered a world that i knew almost nothing about. I had no idea there were so many people out there under the TG umbrella.
This forum has been a revelation. I have learned from the discussions here, my confidence is improving slowly due to the kind support. In time i hope to meet with other TG people at a group and it's all because of all of you. :gh:

I joined to be around like minded individuals. It makes me really happy to know that I'm not alone, and there are so many of us. The support and conversations here are amazing too.

I joined out of boredom at the time. However, one of my former therapists said that she recommend that I be apart of the Louisiana Trans Advocates. So, I think this place can have some merit.

I joined to find other like minded people. The support is nice and everyone here seems to be real nice.
So far!

Mandy

I was pleased to find this site and realize that there were others like me. I'm not as odd as I thought that I was. And others like me are good people.
I learned a lot from everyone here.
I had a lot of "what if" questions in my mind and nowhere to ask them.
I found many of those answers here from postings of first hand experiences.
So many things that I did not think that I could do: I was too scared because of the imagined consequences that I feared.
When I read first hand experiences here, I became confident enough to try for myself.
My experiences were very much like what I read here from others, and not the horrible experiences that I had imagined.
For years I did not join for fear of someone finding out about me.
I am glad that I finally had the courage to join in the discussions.

I'm in a difficult position from a personal standpoint. I joined looking for a dressing community, and I found it. I posted a lot of stuff, made a lot of friends and got a lot of encouragement.


I need to do makeup to feel like the real me, but I arrived with the understanding of CDing being firstly about the clothing. Therefore, I have also been supportive of those who do not do makeup because I understand the effect of the clothing alone ( I was once at that stage ).


Over time, I realised that there was not as much support from our side for those who don't use makeup to try to look as close to female as possible, but I am disappointed in myself that it remained in the back of my mind because I was preoccupied with my experience on the majority side. Only through interacting, which made me recall their struggles for traction that I had seen, I awoke to the realisation that I had been benefiting from a side practising a double standard - i.e. hoping for acceptance of ourselves from the general public while not being supportive of others within our own spectrum.


"Unfortunately", I had already cashed the cheque so-to-speak, and there is no way for me to hand that back. That's something I will have to live with, but what I can do is continue to be supportive and attempt to influence more visible support from my side for those that do not do makeup by pointing out the inconsistencies of our non-support in a way that makes as much sense as possible. Ideally, this would resonate and we'd wake up to ourselves ( it would make us better overall ), but it will probably be conveniently ignored. So, if ( when(?) ) I fail and, through my efforts, I lose everything I have gained by being on the majority side since I got here, I would feel that my experience here would be slightly redeemed.


So what I'm looking for in the community - I found what I thought I was looking for, but it turns out that I'm actually still looking :).

- Lydianne.

I had no idea what all this was until I lurked for a few months! Then I joined and the rest is history! A lot of info in one spot mixed in with suggestions and opinions! As BLUE ORCHID says, "When you are here, you are home!" And she is so right! An extended family! Hugs Lana Mae

Hi Mykell :hugs:, Looking for some Validation.

I have been in this program for almost 72yrs. now, About 15yrs. ago I started surfing
Crossdressers web sites and about 10yrs ago I joined this great forum.

For the last 50 something years I would find CD magazines & Tabloids in adult bookstores.


I have learned and shared so much information about Crossdressing on this forum
over the last almost 10yrs.

I like to tell the new members, "When you are here you are home,

What ever questions that you have there is a 99.875% chance
that one or more of us will have an answer for you"


With out this forum I probably would never have gotten my ears pierced ..0:daydreaming:0.. .


It is just amazing the friendships that we can have all over the world
with just a click of the Mouse,


My Wonderful:love:Wife Knows about everything but just don't want to see me while I am dressed
W have a ery workable DA/DT, I stay within my boundries nd life is great.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Orchid ..0:daydreaming:0..

Mykell,

Before I joined, I frequently 'cruised' (albeit it very slowly) through this site. I related with some of the shared experiences. I became curious about what I was missing from the member-only sub-forums. So in time I joined, and learned, and learned... and continue to learn about identities, experiences, presentation, being authentic and so much more. This site has enabled me to come to terms with my identity, and for that I am very thankful, happier and more confident.


This site is like a therapeutic spa to me, i.e. I frequently feel enlightened, encouraged, challenged, and more.


Thank you sisters for being here.

Cheers!

I experimented with cross dressing about 16 months ago, and it changed me. I started reading about gender issues and I posted on a few forums my concerns with myself and my relationship with my wife. When I got on here I found a very supportive group of people who were almost exactly the opposite of the toxic online culture that I've grown used to. It's a very special sisterhood that keeps me coming back.

Let's see... I joined after just a few visits, why not it was mostly anonymous and I could always just go away forever. I found some things I was looking for after reading between the lines of some posts and outright answers to my questions. Is this site any good to stick around for? I joined a closeted CDer with all the fears and woes in my head, now try and stop me from being my femme self moving about the muggles in broad daylight expressing my non-binary self, something I would not have learned about if not for this resource. Did this site help me get out there without others encouragement and support?, NAH!!! I just like knowing I'm not the only one, you know freak, weirdo, pervert, etc... it must be something they put in the water around here that keeps me coming back.Well it's time for my quick dry glossy clear top coat.

I came to this site about 2 years ago, just to explore to see if this would help me . After a year I was scared to push the button as someone said, but 8 months ago decided to join,

The group helped me to focus that I wasn't alone and the difference of each individual has its own way of expressing our feminine side.

It also help me to focus on dressing and manners if you intend to transform and going out en femme in public.

I do not intend to be out because of age and I would want to have a more feminine body in order to satisfy me.

I have learned a lot and love the all the postings and we get to join in the conversation.

I have been crossdressing on and off for many years. I initially joined the site a few years ago because the family was out of town, I was dressing every day and just wanted a place to go to enhance the experience. Didn't hang around much at first and came back again the following year when my family was out of town again. I just recently totally accepted that this is a part of who I am and made the leap of telling my wife. I came here for advice and support and got it. Thank you. The journey with my wife has really just begun, she's been super supportive but her feelings about me crossdressing are kind of fluid. She asked me if it's normal to love it one minute and hate it the next and from what I've heard here sounds like that is pretty normal. I've been posting here pretty regularly now for the last couple of months, definitely the longest I've stuck around at one time. I love hearing stories about people going out the first time, shopping tips, beauty tips, etc. Also have connected with a couple of people that are in a similar situation and hope to get to meet them one day. Overall my experience on the site has been great. How much I stick around in the future kind of depends on my wife. We have a girl's night out planned in the coming few weeks and have to see how it goes for her. Hoping to get to indulge in dressing a little more often going forward but it's not an obsession. My wife and family are more important to me than dressing.

Interesting question. Had to go and look at when I joined. Been 3 1/2 years.

The insights and shared experiences have been very helpful in my self-acceptance so I have gotten what I was hoping to find.

But I am totally in awe at some who experience acceptance or even tolerance, even with SA’s.

Whether in my DADT relationship (I would have never married you had I known) or the outside harsh, cruel world (including wise cracking SAs) my (and this forums acceptance) of myself is shaken.

Sometimes this virtual world seems just that, virtual, and not anything to base my acceptance on.

I have been dressing since six, stopped at 17 to be able to survive (literally), started again at 60, and now in my mid-sixties know that I will go to my grave with stolen moments and never really share or experience a life lived as me.

In the meantime, this forum and sites like Nadine’s will have to suffice.

So ladies, from this lady, thanks for being here.

Alice (and it still feels great signing my real, true name)

I too had to check I've been here 6 years, that went really quick. I like this site because it seems everyone is trying to be helpful when they can. I didn't lurk too long maybe a day.
Like others I was glad I wasn't alone. Managed to get out and about some and found a few support groups which help too.

Great thread Mykell... my 'life on this forum matches well with Becky's progression as well as my unbecky period...I joined here in mid 2005 6 moths after Becky arrived so suddenly.. back then I posted very little and was mostly on here to learn about what was happening to me... I was here until My unbecky period and ventured back here about 2 years ago with a very different Agenda (no pun intended)..

Now being a lot more certain about who i am, I came here to meet others, to express my Female side, to try help others that are searching for answers, keep on learning...and hopefully contribute in a meaningful way.

Both my times of here have more than met my expectations, i have met many wonderful people, a couple of not so wonderful and love being able to be myself if even for a few minutes a day

I joined back in January of 2014 and I read a lot of the topics that I thought might help me explain why I liked dressing in women's clothing to wife I found some of the answers to her questions and some of my own questions . I started dressing as a early teenager now i am in my 50s. Before joining this site I wouldn't leave the house if I was dressed. After joining and reading through the topics I would go outside but only after it was dark and it took me about ten minutes just to get out the door. Now days I lay out in a bikini and go pay bills and to the grocery store dressed the only thing I haven't done yet is go shopping for clothing dressed not sure why but maybe one of these days soon. I still have questions and I probably always will I know I won't find all the answers but I am happy with who I am

I joined a mere 10 months ago, which makes me one of the babies of the forum. Why did I join? Because I was looking for like minded people where, in as public a way as possible for me, I could be me, I could talk about cross dressing and I could get support and hopefully offer support. Did I find what I was looking for? I think that I found a lot more than I was looking for.

I found the forum and joined in 2006 after exploring the possibilities of the internet.
At last I had found a non-threatening place to discuss my interests without being asked to take my panties off and show my "arousal ".
I have no problems and I don't want to be more than a MIAD. My family, neighbours and friends have seen me dressed.
What more do I need?

I would search the internet looking for anything that would help me understand and hopefully improve my ability to CD. The probem was that most sites found were either just picture sites such as Flickr or more explicit meetup ones.

I found this site and lurked for many months. Such was the fear in my head that I was convinced that should I join the whole world would instantly identify me. Finally got up the courage to join and haven't looked back.

Yes there are the practical tips that help us improve our image, advice on where to shop. What items work and are worth the money and those that are to be avoided like the plague.

The most important things though, at least for me are one, being able to put my thoughts out there to a wide and knowledgeable audience. Two, to be able to read and digest the often well crafted thoughts of others. Three, to initially find the support and encouragement to move my CD'ing forward and later to offer my support to others following on based on my experiences and finally to have engaged with so many, most who I'll never actually meet, yet I will still consider them as friend.

I suppose one way to view this site is like a virtual pub. In the real world you go there to meet and talk, sport, politics or just put the world to rights. Here, ok you can't talk politics, but you can discuss something that is deeply important to us all so I'll give my time here a +++++.

I can’t believe that it has been almost six years for me since I joined. But I guess my answers are simple. First and foremost, I wanted to understand why I crossdress and other males do not. I still don’t know the answer, but I have learned that many of us on this site don’t know either so I take some small comfort in knowing that I am not alone in my quest to understand. I appreciate reading the many theories that people have advanced. Second, I wanted to learn how and where to shop. Thanks to several members just writing threads and responding to private messages, I finally went to a Dress Barn in drab and purchased a dress. It was a great experience. Finally, while I do not deny the sexual component to my crossdresssing, I am not, nor will for any kind of sexual encounter. Thankfully, this site provides a venue that is free from what might be regarded as gay porn. It is thoughtful and respectful.

My wife found this site (searching for why) and suggested I should check it out. I liked it, it was just normal people with the same need to dress. I don't know if i really was looking for anything. but it was nice to share experiences. I have been very closeted for so long it is just nice to have an outlet.
Sara

I joined because it was something I was doing , what I joined is a lifestyle with no option to quit , we all here are united as a family , so too speak , and nobody leaves the family , so I guess that makes all sisters , it shore is nice to have a lot sisters

I joined because I was looking for who I was, why I do the things I do, and to make sure I wasn't crazy. I stayed because I enjoy the honesty here and the fact that it is well regulated, no hate, no heavy kink, and lots of people sharing honestly there experiences. I have met people that helped me break out of the closet, well at least a little. I have found that I am not alone, and that others honestly care about reaching out and helping others. I can't believe I found this site, it is relaxing, kind of like sipping some wine with friends.

I joined because I wanted to try and make sense of it all. Dressing and why I did it and how to accept myself.

I also did because I had come to learn merely reading about it and conversing was a way for me to indulge in dressing by proxy, if even just a little.

Most other places on the net in my opinion I feel tend to reinforce a negative or unhealthy relationship with dressing, which wasn't what I feel i needed.

Ofc, even after making my account I was to shy to say anything... x'D

A female friend told me about this site many years ago, when I first started dressing. Has and remains a site of inspiration and information for me, and a chance to communicate how I feel about my life as a cross dresser. Have made a few good friends here

I joined because this forum is full of real people just like me.

I joined after searching for sites to help me understand what was going on with me.
Most sites were fetish related or porn sites and that wasn't my thing.
Found this place by accident and have been here ever since.
It fit what I was looking for which was info and help/understanding.
So glad I found this site because with help from some nice people I have sorted out my issues and know exactly what I am and where I am going.

There are many reasons I joined this wonderful site. My #1 reason is to be with like minded people. Sharing ideas and experiences and reading about how others have handled different situations. Really, where would most of us be without forums like this? I know I would still be in the closet with no hope, at least in my mind, of ever having any chance of acceptance from my wife.
I’ve only been here for a short time but already know I have found my new home. Thanks all, Crissy

Why did you join? I began to lurk after coming back to cross dressing last year and asking so many questions of myself. I needed to make sense of what was happening because this time it came back with such force. I honestly wish I had found this place 20 years ago. I truly believe it would have changed the trajectory of my own journey. Eventually I joined to hopefully offer some good advice and share with others, add my own stories and experiences, meet others on similar journey's and have a good laugh with the girls!

Did you find what you were looking for? Yes and then some. It has been more than I imagined and in a good way.

Did it help? Immensely. Even without engaging it was deeply helpful to see others answering some of the same questions I had about myself and going through similar experiences. Participating has only enhanced the support.

Wow, I didn't realized that I've been on this site for 10 years...

I joined because this is one of the more visible forums for cross dressers. It's good to be with people who share the same interests. I found a lot of friends here but in a backwards manner as I've met them in person first, then found out that they are members of this forum.

I actually can't remember why or how I found this place. Maybe it was because in 5 of the six shoe stores I was using, theyseemed to have an awful lot of 11 and 12s and I had never seen any man or woman buying shoes of that size and I wondered who was?

After lurking for a couple of days to get the lay of the land and the flavor of the place, I thought I might be able to help that percentage of folks who were not of the mindset that a crossdresser simply MUST do it in a certain manner. He must do x AND Y AND z. And stand like this and walk like that and..........

As there is no " right way" to dress normally, it only stands to reason, there is no "right way" to crossdress. Clearly, some percentage were just into the clothes and shoes but had no desire for anything more. Quite a few seemed at least willing or compelled to try some or all of the other areas in order to "fit in" here.

The very name of this site says it pretty clearly.

IF one likes the colors or styles or cut or simply the look of outerwear, then buy it and wear it regardless of whether it was sold in the men's or women's department. It's simply NOT mandatory that one tries to "pass" as a female simply because you like the look or feel of some "female" clothing items.

I came to share what I'd learned about crossdressing, as I had found a whole lot of disinformation here at the time. I had hoped to help people figure themselves out, by providing ways to do that. As well as try to counter the huge pink fog problem, which still exists. Spending a lot of time here, and you will begin to think that all the world loves a crossdresser, that there are plenty of women out there just waiting to have a crossdressing mate of their very own, that there is no evil in the world towards crossdressers, and of course that we're all straight and everyone in the world knows this. While I understand this is primarily a safe and feel good site for crossdressers and those who wish to know more about us, sometimes things go overboard in the opposite direction from reality. As much as it might break someone's bubble of fantasy, it helps to keep everyone's feet on the ground of reality. Telling someone how much they look like a GG and that they could certainly pass, doesn't help if it's not true, because eventually the poor crossdresser will crash and burn when they hit the hard wall of real life.
There was, at that time, and still is, the generally accepted belief that we are all 'born this way'. Much like the gay community used it to stave off the hatred towards them, many crossdressers desperately try to use the same method to avoid having to take the blame for our gender barrier crossing behaviors. Unfortunately, we are not all 'born this way'. Yes, some are. But others are not. And it can help tremendously to try to figure out just how we ended up this way. So many are still gay or bi and deep in self denial, usually because of where they grew up, and often because their religion made them feel bad about who and what they are. Our western society is also to blame, because of the rigid roles thrust upon us when we were growing up, which some of us simply weren't ever going to be able to fit into.
And then, it was about finding out how to find a female mate who could accept and enjoy my life with my crossdressing past, present and maybe future. And during the past ten years, I've found that there is little chance of that. The discovery that femininity in a man is such a strong sexual turn off for the vast majority of women, would mean that most of us would wind up alone, for life. Sad as that seems, at least when we know, we can prepare ourselves for how to deal with it.

I think in general, I join these sites just to be in a "safe space" where it is fine just to be yourself. I dont like hiding what I am but then on the other hand I dont want to be in places where stand out from the crowd and perhaps hostile - life is just too short. But that being the case, I really dont find talking about being trans very interesting, so I dont really get to indulge much. I just like being trans as a brute fact, now whats next

To gain knowledge on why I felt. Was this a fetish thing? Was this a physical and mental liability? Finding out I was not alone.....

I joined to help and support others, I think I had already found what I wanted.

I have even created fireworks because I gave support to unpopular posters.

My advice has not always been spot on though. :-)

I found this site while doing an internet search for 'support' sites. After a quick look, I liked what I saw, so I stuck around a while, lurking and not joining.
But eventually, I wanted to make a few comments on things I was reading. So - I gathered up my nerve and decided to join.
After a bit of time as a member, I once again took a leap of faith and uploaded a picture for my avatar. Why? Well - I find that it's easier for me to keep track of "who said what" if I can associate a name with a picture. So I figured I'd extend the same 'courtesy' to others. It took some time to find one that would be OK to use, since I don't have many at all. I'm not into selfies. Never was, never will be - drab or femme.

I'm here because it's nice to know that I'm not alone, even if my life isn't exactly like anyone else's. I just like to be reminded of the expression: "Remember you're unique - just like everyone else."

And maybe- just maybe, once in a while, I might have something useful to say. ( I don't think this post is it, though...:straightface:)

I got my first internet connection around 1998 and started looking for other crossdressers, info on CDing, and tranny porn. So, 10 years later I came across this website and I saw that members posted cross dressed photos. Honestly, that's why I joined, to see the photos!

Of course, it didn't take long before I started reading interesting threads. And look at me now!

I came to this forum and other similar forums looking for friends from my past. Back in the day I would hang out in trans bars and made a few, well just three true friends. I was put away for a time and lost contact and was trying to find them on this site cause the bars back then advertised themselves as places for CD's to meet. There was no word transgender though transsexuals hung out there, usually working girls. I have been on and off this forum for 14 years and have been to many other sites including face-book and in all that time I found none of them. I think they're dead.

I was seeking a place where I could communicate with other people....share this side of myself in a safe environment. What I found besides a social network was a wealth of knowledge and practical experience. It’s been a constant source of understanding and illumination.

I joined because I like to wear silky nighties - especially long ones. I have no other CD interests. This site has not really been very helpful. There don't seem to be many like me.

I've spent so much of my life not knowing another crossdresser, and feeling as if I was alone in the world.

This forum has given me so much support, acceptance, and solace. I have found many people like myself who have had similar life experiences. It has helped give me by giving me more appreciation for myself.

I joined because I needed so many answers, needed help and advice, and got so very much from so many lovely ladies. Since then I have been able to put my 5 eggs in to help others. This is a great place to be especially if one is alone as I am and here is all the support one needs.