Left my nightdress at a friends house and need advice

Hi girls,
I need your advice. I was recently on a trip to the west coast and stayed with a very good friend who has been widowed for many years. When I got home I could not find my nightdress and then remembered that I had taken it off in the guest bathroom and left it lying in a heap on the counter top.
Anyway, this lady and I are close friends and I know she has a soft spot for me as she has hinted at her feelings from time to time but I have never revealed to her that I am a transvestite.
My visit was about a month ago and since then we have exchanged text messages saying what a lovely time we had together etc. and also a long telephone conversation in which she was very friendly. We talked about all sorts of issues but she never mentioned my leaving a nightdress and neither did I.

So, a question from all of you wise heads. Should I mention it to her? Wait until she mentions it? Wait until my next visit and see what happens? Or see if she just discreetly leaves my nightdress on the guest bed and never says a word?

Consuelo

Consuelo, I'd wait to mention it until the next time you are face to face.

I don't see any point in mentioning it. She certainly found it, but I would wait for her to say something. It seems she doesn't care or she would have brought it up. Perhaps she is waiting for your next visit.

Are you still texting one another? If she's been silent, there might be a problem. If she's been texting and everything seems fine, she's probably okay with it. Or … possibly … she never goes into the guest bathroom and it's still there :P

I'm willing to bet she discreetly leaves it on the guest bed.

It's been a month, the suspense is killing me! Dear friend, did you by any chance find something in the guest bedroom that seemed a bit odd?

Your friend has been wearing the nightdress nearly every night since you left (IMO).

Contact her ASAP and let her know when you plan to visit again.

LOL, keeping me warm.

The fact that she hasn't mentioned it and is still friendly with you,
tells me that she is okay with it. I would keep texting her and in
a few more weeks maybe bring it up. You will be able to tell by
her reaction, if you want to tell her more... wishing you the best! :)

Seems a little awkward to bring it up now in text. So I agree with next face to face meeting.

She's either not found it or it's a non-issue for her, leave it be for now, unless your wanting to have the talk.

I think we're (regardless of how we identify) programed to believe this is a big deal, but in a perfect world the clothing we wear or leave behind when visiting a friend, isn't really anyone's business but ours. Maybe she is just one of those special kind of people who get that.
It may well be that it will be washed, folded and waiting for you in that guest room next time you visit.

Cass

Maybe you left it there for her to find?

Perhaps, as a "Freudian slip? I'd say leave well enough alone. No need to deal with it unless she brings it up.

Ineke

Perhaps she has female friends who stay in the guest bedroom. She might have assumed that it belonged to one of them?

Michelle

Thank you so much for the advice.
TRACIL- i wondered whether there was some hidden intent behind my leaving it there. But I really did forget it. I had gone into the bathroom to shower and just took it off and put it to one side of the sink counter. Then after breakfast when I was collecting my various toiletries I just didn't notice it.
LYDIA - that thought did cross my mind. It might be a little large for her though.
We have been doing more than texting. Just after Christmas I called her and we talked for the better part of an hour.

From all of your advice I have decided to just not mention it and see what happens. I shall let you know about it in a few months after my next visit.

I am a strong beliver in truth and direct approaches. Since she remains very friendly I would ask her about the item. Especially if you think the friendship is heading toward a closer relationship. Time to find out where it is going.

Please forget texting!! Call her. Obviously she found your nightdress. If she is like any woman she laundered it and folded it nicely. If she is such a good friend wouldn't you think there are other clues left behind or unsaid over the years. Of course there is a wide range of dressing between wearing a woman's nightdress and being fully en femme. She may think the nightdress is the extent of your desire, and, would be surprised to find otherwise. Or maybe she would not be surprised. Admit you forgot it. Ask her to keep it safe until you visit again. There's no reason to open up your life long cross dressing life at this time.

I agree with Stephanie.

I think that she definitely knows and is being very respectful of you. She's still talking with you as if it was a non-issue, so I think that you should treat it as such. I'm sure the next time that you both are together you can see if she leaves it for you, or maybe its hanging up in the closet in the guest bedroom.

It sounds like you 2 may be about to discover hidden treasure. But, you'd prefer to worry about a mosquito u think u hear----:straightface:

Don't mention it. If she brings it up, act like it's no big deal.

Just suck it up and ask. You obviously weren’t too concerned about her finding out when you were wearing a nightgown in her house

I’m gonna have to agree with Micki here... you put yourself in the awkward position when you brought it, not when you left it. The cat was out of the bag the minute she walked into that bathroom. In my opinion, I think you’ll not only get your nightgown back by asking for it, and you may find talking to your friend about it very cathartic. And you may come out of it with a new ally that you can speak freely with.

Hate to say it sister, but she knows. Leaving behind a XL nightie is a tell!

There is a wise phrase, let sleeping dogs lie.

Consuelo, you mentioned that this lady has "soft spot" for you. Sooo, I'd suggest that the next time you talk, not text, that you say something like, 'Oh, by the way, I keep forgetting, and I have been meaning to ask you to send me the nightdress I left on my last visit. Its so soft and wonderful to sleep in, and I miss it.'

Then, see how the conversation develops, she having those soft spots for you..

I've had two senior women that were aware of my dressing. In one case I just asked one if it was ok if I changed to a night gown one night. She said sure, and had no problem with it. We were close friends and became shopping buddies. She saw me dressed with no problems. We were not intimate as I was married. The other my wife told her, but she had no problem with it. The three of us shopped together and talked about women's clothes including lingerie.

I wouldn't mention it and pick it up the next time you are there. I would take along a nice gown and robe set that is modest so the two of you can enjoy night caps or breakfast.

Being honest I think is best. Ask if she found it, and please hold it for you you next time you visit. She sounds like someone you can trust. And it would go a long way to showing her you trust her.

Best
DeeDee :fairy1:

Maybe your friend is testing out your honesty by not mentioning it

Sophie

Women are very observant about there clothes especially there under things your caught. Fess up now or later but fess up. When I was in high school many moons ago I would stay over at friends and if his mom left a bra in the bathroom I would play in it when I went to take shower. Next thing I knew every time I stayed over there was a couple of well wore out bras on the counter when I went in to take shower. They are way more ahead of than we think.

I would only tell her when she brings up the subject

Well first I have to ask why you would risk even wearing a nightgown to bed when staying with someone that you are still hiding your dressing from?

But now that the cat is out of the bag, she my not want to bring it up, saving you the embarrassment.

Next time you stay you should bring it up, you could just ask if you had forgotten anything last time or you could just wait and see if it is neatly folded and waiting for you on the bed.

I would not say anything unless she mentions it. No sense stirring things up.

1. How people react to "things/information" is their own issues to deal with.
A. Do you think you would loose a friend over it?

2. Leaving it to be determined by your friend may leave it open to all the wrong conspiracies.
B. Tell her.

Sure she may or may not be surprised. It seems from your post that loosing her as a friend is unlikely but there's only one way to find out.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Micki_Finn

Just suck it up and ask. You obviously weren’t too concerned about her finding out when you were wearing a nightgown in her house

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Micki telling it like it is. :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KatrinaK

Hate to say it sister, but she knows. Leaving behind a XL nightie is a tell!

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Maybe she thought some burglar was wearing it and accidentally left it. Maybe some TG thief named "Sofonda Kleptoism"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beverley Sims

There is a wise phrase, let sleeping dogs lie.

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Yeah my neighbor probably wishes I would let his sleeping dogs lie instead of making a bunch of noise just to agitate them. Wait, that has nothing to do with the night gown.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rochal Tukque

Women are very observant about there clothes especially there under things your caught. When I was in high school many moons ago I would stay over at friends and if his mom left a bra in the bathroom I would play in it when I went to take shower. Next thing I knew every time I stayed over there was a couple of well wore out bras on the counter when I went in to take shower. They are way more ahead of than we think.

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It was only one time (unfortunately) but I wonder if my best friend's mom knew about it when I found a pair of her pantyhose in the restroom? But to stay within the rules, I cannot go into more details.

I agree with Micki, just ask her. Since she knows deal with it head on, I think you will both feel better.

If you choose to wait until next time you go over, then go over soon.

This could be a nice new door opening for you, somewhere to dress, someone to help and talk to, make the most of this opertunity

You can either not ask and not ever mention it or ask now. I can't see any reason to wait until you see her in person again. Call or text, or whatever and ask if she found a nightgown as you seem to be missing one. Sherrii

Always remember, it's not against to law to wear women's cloths, she will not call the police

Maybe the fashion police! Ok just kidding, you will feel better when you do it.

Take a step back, which I always do, look at the whole situation, what would you do if you found a nightie in your guest room?, a) jump to conclusion that your guest is a gay person who wears women's cloths b) wonder where has that come from? C) it must be my guests nightie and they are waiting for an operation to become female?, they will not have a clue, so stop the panic